The Coach
June 26, 2020 1:18 PM
Quidditch Game 1! Winner: Green team! by The Coach
The game was today. The first game was today! The team had been practicing for a few weeks and this was a home v home game, so the coach wasn't terribly worried about pitting the students against those from other schools. In a lot of ways, this was a trial run. But the school had pulled out all the stops.Banners and decorations with jersey numbers of the players, showing which color they were playing for today, were hung around the stadium, and some of the elves had gone as far as setting up booths for students to get such treats as cotton candy, caramel corn, hot dogs, nachos, and more thematic foods, like mozzarella broomsticks, Quaffles (the coach was pretty sure they were pigs in blankets essentially), and a wide variety of candy. The coach appreciated the effort because it was well known that the students would decide today what this was going to look like in the future, and it was up to them to decide how popular or not this would be as well.
The coach addressed the waiting players as a whole, and smiled at all of them. They were mixed today, which was just as well because they were otherwise pretty uneven. It also meant that they all had the same knowledge and experience with any secret moves, which leveled the playing field a bit. A roster hung on the wall to remind players where they were playing today anyway:
Orange team:
Keeper: Tatiana Vorontsova
Chasers: Ness McLeod, Valentine Duell, Heinrich Hexenmeister
Seeker: Jeremy Mordue
Beaters: Felipe De Matteo, Hilda Hexenmeister
Green team:
Keeper: Graham Osbrook
Chasers: Morgan Garrett, Bonny Row, Parker Fitzgerald
Seeker: Anya Delachene
Beaters: Nathaniel Mordue, Evelyn Stones
"Today's game is going to be an experiment," the coach began, lingering on each set of eyes. "And you're going to show me just how well you can do. There's a stadium out there full of your peers. Let's show them what you can do, too."
The game began and the teams were, to the coach's pleasure, well balanced. This would be a good day. The music and fanfare outside was proof enough of that. It grew and surged throughout the game until finally, a very close game ended with the green team winning. It was exhilarating to be part of and to watch and most of the action was probably lost on the crowd, who were both distracted with the atmosphere of attending a sporting event, and undoubtedly out of practice with watching the play-by-play of a back-and-forth game of Quidditch. For some of the audience, the coach knew, this was their first time ever seeing a game. Heck, that was true for some of the players probably. This was, the coach thought, going to be a very exciting season.
Highlights -
- Near the end of the game, when the Seekers were nearing the Snitch, Felipe De Matteo attempted to smack a bludger at the opposing team and found it instead colliding hard with Jeremy Mordue. Jeremy sought medical attention after the game. (Approved by Felipe and Jeremy's authors).
OOC - Hello, all! This is an experiment as much for us as it is for our players and I am excited to see how it goes. You'll notice below that there is room for folks to thread pre-game, during the game, in the stadium during the game, and post-game. The goal is to really encourage anyone and everyone to be able to participate, not just players. You'll also please notice to I have (well, chatzy has) selected a winning team. That is to give us the most variety of threads we can do without the back and forth that can go with an FnF game when that hasn't happened for a long time. That being said, if there's a moment you want to thread during the game, feel free to do so.
Just don't assume that they won or lost for their team if that's not what I/chatzy decided. I think this will be a lot of fun and I am excited to see how it goes!
Happy threading!!
Subthreads:Pre-Game
Dang kids and their sporting things by Osvaldo Alamilla
Have you seen my mommy? by Dora Xavier with Alexander Pierce-Beales
During Game (players)
Chasing on a team! by Valentine Duell with Nathaniel Mordue
WHAT is your DEAL?! by Felipe De Matteo
This is going to be brilliant by Jeremy Mordue
That's me. I'm green. I win? I WIN! by Anya Delachene with Bonabelle Row
During Game (crowd)
Caramel corn? I'm there. [Marsh? Katey? Bueler?] by Killian Row with Selina Skies
Frustration (medical tent) by Jean Wolfe
Just here for the nachos by Sophia Priory with Josephine Clyde
Yay! Sportsing! by Gary Harper with Dorian Montoir
Post-Game
How did that happen? [Nathaniel] by Evelyn Stones with Nathaniel Mordue
Cheering for the team I'm booing for. [Jeremy, medical tent] by Leonor De Matteo with Jeremy Mordue, Nathaniel Mordue
I'm fine by Jean Wolfe with Jezebel Reed-Fischer
Fun times and nachos by Zara Jackson with Felipe De Matteo
About me being fine... (tag Katey) by Jean Wolfe with Katey Willow
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The Coach
Quidditch Game 1! Winner: Green team!
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The Coach
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Zara Jackson
July 04, 2020 7:37 AM
Fun times and nachos by Zara Jackson
So, apparently Zara was dating a sports guy. That was random, given that Felipe had never shown an interest until now. She wondered whether it was some macho show off thing to try to impress her. If so, it seemed slightly misguided in that he’d already reeled her in and they could have been using this time to take advantage of a more deserted school, or eat nachos together in the stands. However, she wasn’t going to argue that it didn’t also kind of work? Yes, boys needing to play Beater was a mindless misogynist something something size of their bat coping mechanism. She’d hung out with Ness. She knew that she was supposed to hate Felipe on principle for trying to show off strength. But it was kinda fun getting to charm little colour flashes on her cheeks and stand in the stand and cheer her boyfriend doing the boy thing.And she got the nachos all to herself this way.
It was just fun, and lighthearted, and she was watching the Seekers race for the Snitch and she almost actually hoped Jeremy got it, which was the weirdest disconnect but it would mean Felipe won and - oh. Oh freaking heck.
That… that was not good. That was so so so not good. Zara just stared as Jeremy took a hit that sent him spinning. From Felipe. She liked to believe that he wouldn’t do that on purpose. Quidditch was a game, and kind of a stupid game, and it was real pathetic to get all up in a snit about who won and who lost but that… Was not cool. It was very weird how not satisfying it was to see Jeremy Mordue get smacked with a Bludger and lose the match as a result. Especially at Felipe’s hand. On paper that was something she should have wanted. But not when Felipe was his teammate. And when, given their history, people were bound to think that had been on purpose. Even though it hadn’t been. Because Felipe wouldn’t do that… right?
She hurried from the stands, her cheeks still streaked with cheerful orange, waiting outside the locker room for Felipe, and - as the moments ticked by - wondering if she should barge in there and check the orange team weren’t hexing him to pieces. It was only a stupid game.
“Hey,” she called out, as she saw him leaving. And concern crinkled her normal cheerful face. “Are you okay?” she asked. Because either that had been an accident, in which case he had to be feeling awful, or it hadn’t been and… and he really wasn’t okay if that was the case.
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Zara Jackson
Fun times and nachos
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Felipe De Matteo
July 04, 2020 9:19 PM
I don't know if I could stomach those things. by Felipe De Matteo
The game ended shortly after Felipe made a mistake that he was pretty sure would stick with him for the rest of his Sonora life. When he returned to the locker room, he took a few minutes longer in the shower than he normally would have because he was trying to wash and scrub off the feeling on his skin. It wouldn't come off. Jeremy, he knew, was off in another part of the stadium, probably screaming. In pain. Felipe felt like a monster and that certainty wouldn't come off his skin.When he did finally emerge from the locker room, he found Zara standing there, looking concerned. He was sure then that she had seen it and that she knew exactly how un-funny this was, even if their general dislike of Jeremy was mutual.
He greeted her with a weak hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead before stepping back to answer her. Affection was easy and natural for him now and he thought that was good. It was bittersweet to discover that affection had a place in sad times as well as happy times. "I'm . . . no. No, I don't think I am," he murmured, running a hand through his wet hair. "I didn't mean to hit him," he said, looking at Zara with desperate eyes, hoping she knew that. Hoping she wasn't upset that he clarified. "I wouldn't do that on purpose." The very recent memory of Jeremy spinning through the air, screaming as much in anger as pain as far as Felipe could tell, made his stomach hurt and he closed his eyes and shook his head to clear it. "I don't know what to do now." He glanced over his shoulder at the other players who were emerging around him, as well as the students who'd been there to watch. And the staff. Ugh. "They're going to hex my face off," he moaned. "I deserve it."
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Felipe De Matteo
I don't know if I could stomach those things.
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Zara Jackson
July 05, 2020 3:19 AM
Yeah, they're somewhat done by Zara Jackson
"I know you wouldn't," Zara assured Felipe when he said it hadn't been on purpose. She reached for his hand to give it a squeeze, feeling bad that she had doubted him."No, you don't," she said firmly when he said that he deserved whatever hexes the team fancied throwing his way. It was maybe ironic coming from someone who often advocated kicking butt and taking names "It was just an accident and this is just a game," she stated. Sometimes, direct action was justified. She wasn't going to say that violence was never the answer, when history was littered with examples of peaceful protest being ignored until turned into to direct action. But not over a stupid mistake in a stupid game.
"I mean, I'm not saying people won't be buttholes about it," she added. She was not naive. She wondered how it would balance out that Jeremy was probably disliked by a large portion of the team but that they also still wanted to win. That he was one of them and Felipe was new. That he kind of had what was coming to him but that you just didn't do that... But it had been an accident.
"You wanna get away from here?" she asked, feeling like it might be a good plan to put some space between Felipe and the rest of them. But that might make him look guilty, or remorseless. "Or hang around and apologise where you need to, make sure your side of the story's out there too?" she asked.
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Zara Jackson
Yeah, they're somewhat done
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Felipe De Matteo
July 05, 2020 12:03 PM
I think I probably should eat though? by Felipe De Matteo
Felipe had a hard time agreeing that he didn't deserve those hexes but he wasn't about to argue with her; it wasn't a position he really wanted to take up. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair again when she acknowledged that people would be 'buttholes' about it. This was going to suck. And it was his fault. "I keep screwing stuff up," he said quietly, almost to himself, as if he needed a reminder.He was torn between her choices, though. On the one hand, he was pretty sure apologising was the better thing to do and that his parents would tell him to do that. On the other, he was pretty sure his apology wouldn't be heard, and expecting it to make a difference felt a lot like expecting other people to just be okay with his behavior right now, before they really had time to process it and let the emotions of it all come down. What would he say anyway? Sorry. I do hate him, but I didn't mean to hit him. You see, he insulted people I care about and is now maybe getting it on with my sister and I did think about hitting him, but then I didn't hit him, but then I did hit him, but not because I was thinking about hitting him. Sorry we lost, though! It wasn't going to help.
"Maybe get away from here," he decided. He wasn't sure which one of them led away from the Pitch but it was nice to be free from the noise and hooplah of the game. They walked briefly in silence before Felipe decided to speak up again. "You don't think . . . I'm not a monster, right?" he asked anxiously. "I didn't mean to hit him, but . . . I wanted to," he admitted quietly. "He's awful. I think he's dating Leonor? She had a banner for him." He realised as his voice trembled just how much it broke his heart to think that his own sister hated him that much. That he was that detestable. "I talked to Jessica last week," he added, searching Zara's face for a reaction as he continued. "I wanted to apologise for my part in things going wrong and things didn't go great. I think we're going to try to talk again when we're both ready, but she was really upset and just . . . I keep hurting people." An idea occurred to him and he looked up at Zara with big, worried eyes. "You're okay? I haven't hurt you yet?"
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Felipe De Matteo
I think I probably should eat though?
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Zara Jackson
July 05, 2020 11:08 PM
Yes, food solves problems by Zara Jackson
"Everyone makes mistakes," Zara stated firmly, when Felipe mumbled about how that kept happening. "There is a difference between screwing up and being a screw up. You are not a screw up."They walked away, and he began getting into slightly messier territory. There was deliberate, and there was accidental. Those were clear and distinct, and Zara liked them. It had been an accident. His rambling about subconscious levels was not helpful. Admittedly subconcious bias could be proven experimentally and was often important to examine. But they were never going to know in this particular case, and it seemed like the bigger danger was Felipe beating himself up over it.
"Most of us want to hit Jeremy. That's just natural," she stated. "You didn't do it on purose. You didn't see his turned back and think 'this'll pay him back.' Therefore, it was an accident."
She searched for something comforting to say about Leonor or about any of it, but before she could think of anything, he dropped a bombshell. Annoyance flashed across her features, though whether it was at the mere mention of Jessica's name, at the fact Felipe had talked to her or that Jessica had, unsurprisingly, been horrid about it again, it was hard to say. All of those things annoyed her to varying levels. But she tried to keep it off her face as Felipe fretted about her.
"I'm still whole, see?" she held her arms up so he could examine her. It was easy to demonstrate a lack of physical hurt, both because you could see it and because it was one hundred percent true right now.
"Why keep bothering with her?" she asked, not quite managing to get the neutral tone she had been aiming for.
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Zara Jackson
Yes, food solves problems
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Felipe De Matteo
July 05, 2020 11:48 PM
Most of them. by Felipe De Matteo
"Thank you," Felipe murmured. Zara always seemed to understand what to say and how to say it. She never lied to him or sugarcoated anything for him. She told him the truth, and she said it exactly how he needed her to, whether that meant being short and direct, or kind and encouraging. Or all of the above. She was a proper ball of sunshine.He nodded in agreement, not having considered intentionality in those terms. "No, I definitely didn't do that," he said. The thought made him a bit nauseous. Hitting Jeremy by accident was bad enough but intentionally attacking someone with their back turned was just . . . cruel. He would never.
He couldn't quite be sure what Zara was thinking about his comments about Jessica though. She looked . . . maybe he imagined the anger? That could be projecting, right? Or maybe she was thinking of something else? Maybe it was a coincidence? Or maybe she really was angry with him. That was a horrible thought. She put her arms out though, as if for examination, so Felipe obliged, a mischievous smile crossing his face as much as was possible right now. He caught her wrist in his hand and pressed his lips against it before moving his mouth down her arm to her shoulder and then up to her face as he wrapped her up in his arms. He was perfectly happy to spend as much time in this moment as she wanted before continuing their conversation and he was squirmy to discover that his pent up sadness and frustration with himself and with the game and with Leonor weren't enough to push much more pressing ideas out of his head.
When Zara tasked about Jessica, he followed her lead. "Because at one point, she meant a lot to me," he said slowly and thoughtfully. He wanted to get his words right. "And she wasn't a perfect friend. She hurt you," he acknowledged, hugging her a little closer without really meaning to. He hoped that didn't happen again because he thought he absolutely could find it in himself to hit a bludger at anyone who hurt his sunshine now. "But I wasn't perfect either. I'd rather know that we aren't friends because we don't want to be, or because we just aren't, rather than that because either of us is stuck in some idea of who we used to be. People grow." He said the last part like he needed it to be true. Needed Zara to believe it was true. Because if she didn't, what hope was there for him?
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Felipe De Matteo
Most of them.
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Zara Jackson
July 06, 2020 6:14 PM
And kisses for the rest? by Zara Jackson
Zara grinned as holding her arms out produced the usual effect on Felipe of gathering her up and squeezing and kissing her. She hadn’t wanted to throw herself directly at him in case he wasn’t in the mood right now, but it was nice to know he wasn’t so distressed as to be immune to her charms. Even if she couldn’t make things better, she could maybe keep him distracted for a bit.Before they got that far though, there was still the unpleasant topic of Jessica to deal with.
“Mmhmm,” she acknowledged his reasoning on Jessica. On the surface of it, it made sense. But it all sounded very Felipe with his self-sacrificing ideas of honour, and she still wasn’t convinced Jessica deserved it. Especially given what Felipe had already said about the encounter. Especially given what had happened in the past - he and Jessica had fallen out, it had turned him into a ball of sad and anxious for a bit, they then hadn’t spoken for over a year. She was sure Felipe had grown in that time. And she didn’t want to see Jessica come in and start cutting that back down, making him feel like crap about himself again.
“But you said it didn’t go well?” she pressed, wanting to know what exactly Jessica had done this time.
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Zara Jackson
And kisses for the rest?
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Felipe De Matteo
July 06, 2020 6:43 PM
Yes, definitely. by Felipe De Matteo
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man, in possession (ew) of a good girlfriend, must consistently be torn between snuggling and doing Things. Felipe did not have to have been exposed to Jane Austen - although he had been regardless because that was a good and fine example of courtship - to discover this truth through his own experiential learning. Still, pacing was important. And responsibilities. And like. Whatever. Life probably. It was really hard to remember what sorts of things were remotely important when Zara had her face on his face.He shook his head, agreeing that it hadn't gone well (which was the odd thing about questions that weren't really questions but prompts, because he also could have nodded to agree in that case). "She didn't know that I had told you about Mara," he said quietly, feeling guilty and shameful. "I hadn't thought about it at the time. I was just upset and you're my best friend, so of course I went to you." He didn't really think that Zara would be jealous because he thought it was pretty obvious that he wanted nothing to do with Jessica in that regard, and that Jessica wanted nothing to do with him, possibly in any regard, but it couldn't hurt to slip in some reassurances anyway. That being said, he wasn't about to let Jessica's anxiety slip out like that. That didn't seem appropriate. At the same time, what good were they if he kept secrets from Zara? "I can tell you anything, right?" he asked, cocking his head like he was studying something scientific. "My parents don't have any secrets, and I don't know if that's because they're together, or just because. I don't want to keep any secrets from you, but I don't know how that works with other people's secrets. I trust you," he added hastily, hoping she knew already that that wasn't the concern. "But I don't want to make you feel like you know too much about people."
He sighed and pressed his forehead against Zara's. The position reminded him of dancing together and he wrapped his hands around her waist, taking small steps in a small circle to have a small moment in the Gardens. It would've been perfect if it wasn't very not perfect. He spoke as he moved, absentmindedly keeping up a basic 6/8 count. "Jessica has anxiety. I don't know exactly what an anxiety attack looks like but I think probably that. I feel bad . . . I feel like I hurt people without meaning to and I don't want to do that." He glanced down his nose at her; she was cute all the time but especially when their faces were all close. "You're sure you're good?"
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Felipe De Matteo
Yes, definitely.
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Zara Jackson
July 07, 2020 7:04 AM
And cutting toxic people out of your life by Zara Jackson
CW - microaggressions re mental health, implied strong languageZara tilted her head quizzically. If she was being charitable about Jessica, the one part of the Felipe thing that had never quite stacked up for her was… why exactly had they fallen out? The mention of Mara reminded her of this. The version she knew went something like… Jessica let Felipe in on her semi-secret little sister. Felipe had flipped out over her having a semi-secret, enough that he’d stormed out. All hell had broken loose. It was like… Zara wasn’t really a secretive person, but Jessica’s secret had never seemed that much like her fault? Also, she had trusted Felipe. So reacting to ‘hey can I trust you with a secret?’ with ‘omg, you don’t trust me?!’ had been… weird. Especially when there were so very many other reasons to take a dislike to Jessica, or to find her two-faced. But it really hadn’t been worth her breath to fight for Jessica when she felt like Felipe was well shot of her. Zara guessed it was related to all the flaws she’d seen in her, it had just scarcely been the clearest cut example.
And apparently it was a problem that Zara knew. Wow. Geez. Okay, on the one hand, she got the word ‘secret’ and what it meant. But she’d also seen Jessica and Mara openly hanging out and how many people did that with someone so much younger when there wasn’t a reason? Apart from, apparently, Jeremy, and the reason she guessed there was that everyone his own age had had enough time to realise what a slimeball he was. Anyway, so now Jessica was getting all riled up about Zara knowing something about her. Could she not just chill out? Did Jessica want to know how many people Zara had mentioned this to? None. Did Jessica want to know how often knowing this juicy and personal bit of gossip about her had in any way given Zara an upper hand or a plot for scheming revenge? None. The number of times it had even crossed her mind was barely worth counting because - newsflash, and one that Jessica would probably somehow take offence at whilst obsessing over how much this mattered - Zara. Did. Not. Care. Jessica and her life and her precious secrets were just not a big freaking deal. Not to Zara. Not as currency or dirty little tokens to spread around. She just didn’t care.
Maybe she should start caring… That could be interesting. But honestly, the disaster storm that was Jessica and what she wanted people to know and care about but not know or not care about was just not worth it.
“Of course you can,” she assured Felipe, when he freaked slightly about telling her - she assumed he was referring to what he’d already shared. “Honestly, nothing you told me was a big deal. She’s just making a big deal out of it.” Yeah, she didn’t want to be part of the Jessica Drama Hour but Jessica making Felipe feel bad over telling minor little things like the existence of her non-secret sibling was totally unfair. So, Zara had to pick up the pieces. Again.
And then he dropped something else in. Something that Zara only half understood, thus far lessening how personal it sounded. Zara wasn’t really familiar with the difference between ‘being anxious’ and ‘having anxiety.’ So, Jessica was high strung and worried a lot? That was like… not news. And because Zara didn’t know the difference, she didn’t see how almost everything she’d listed about Jessica’s nitpicking and micromanaging and obsessing really was relevant to what Felipe had just disclosed.
“So? What about that justifies her being a snitch?” Zara said. Or at least a sentence that rhymed with that. “Stop letting her tell you that everything’s your fault,” Zara stated firmly.
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Zara Jackson
And cutting toxic people out of your life
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Felipe De Matteo
July 07, 2020 10:11 PM
What if they can become not toxic? by Felipe De Matteo
CW: Un-recognized suicidal thoughts.Felipe felt, as he had on occasion before, as if he were standing at the edge of a precipice. This time, his back was to the sky and he was facing the land, where two paths led away from a surely fatal drop. As he had before, he had to choose between a path that Zara walked with him or one that Jessica walked with him. Except now, those paths weren't the same as each other. Zara was sunshine and light and love and warm feelings all over, and she was strong and fierce and opinionated. Jessica was uncertainty and an inevitable divergence in the future. The path he took with Zara was happy and, he hoped, long-term. But the feeling in his stomach begged him to just lean back. Perhaps to fall, to be done, would be easier than to choose.
He stiffened some as Zara spoke, surprised by the return of such thoughts and by the unkindness in her voice, and he leaned away some to look at her. His eyebrows came together with confusion and hurt. "That's . . . not very kind," he said, more surprised than anything. Those weren't words he'd ever expected to use out loud to Zara with regards to something she'd done or said. "She's hurting. A lot."
Words escaped him as he tried to wrap his head around the different pieces of what he was thinking and feeling. He thought he'd come farther than this in terms of self-expression but it still didn't come easy for him. Perhaps if he approached it like a negotiation between unhappy citizens of Ciudad de Matteo...?
"She's said and done things that were hurtful and inappropriate," he began, trying to use relatively neutral language. He wanted to concede that she was perhaps on the manipulative side, but he personally didn't think it was through any maleficence on her part so much as an upbringing that made her think it was okay. When you spent every day being manipulated, you were bound to manipulate others; it was just what interaction looked like. "But she's still a person. If I've done wrong by someone, whether or not they've ever done wrong by me, I want to fix that." He wrinkled his nose. "I don't think that everything's my fault," he added in a much quieter voice.
There was something else that was niggling at him and he couldn't put a finger on it. Something to do with the day he'd visited medical professionals; a big A word had been put in his file and a bottle of potion put in his hand. He still hadn't used it but it felt reassuring to have it there. There was something different about having anxiety and being anxious, and Felipe wasn't exactly sure what that was. That never came up at home as far as he knew, but it wasn't like healers gave out prescriptions for Stress, so it had to be different. But that had gone away, hadn't it? It was just because of an anxiety-ridden time in his life, not anything bigger than that. He couldn't help agreeing with Zara on that front, because his own 'diagnosis' was no excuse to behave poorly. At the same time, he couldn't help wondering what Zara would think of that. He'd never told anyone about that A word in his file because he was convinced that ignoring it would make it go away, and that having anxiety and being anxious were similar enough that it was probably just A Thing that happened to teenagers. Especially if said teenager was an ill-suited heir to an estate who had just gotten in a fight with his roommate and lost one of his closest friends to his own trust issues. The problem with that was that it either meant he was sick or a monster. Lately, he'd been feeling sick and convinced he was a monster, so it was hard to say one way or another. Falling back into the abyss was looking more and more tempting.
"Her . . . feelings . . Don't justify her actions," he said, coming back to the present. "But her actions don't justify me being awful, either. I'm surprised that you're so upset. What is different in this case?" he asked, feeling like he was being way too blunt, but how else was he meant to learn? "You're kind and forgiving to everyone but Jessica."
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Felipe De Matteo
What if they can become not toxic?
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Zara Jackson
July 08, 2020 10:21 PM
Not our job to do it though by Zara Jackson
"Good," Zara replied, when Felipe stated that he didn't think everything was his fault.His next question surprised her. Not because of his boldness in asking it, as she was used to a family where almost everyone said what was on their minds - even Bertie, who wasn't exactly a chatter box, most frequently spoke up to tell people to butt out or to strongly disagree with something - and she had more trouble remembering that it wasn't the norm for everyone. But rather, she was surprised because of what he thought of her.
"Am I?" she asked skeptically. It felt a weird thing to disown, especially for a Teppenpaw, but she didn't recognise herself in his description. Which was an odd feeling for someone she was supposed to be close to. Felipe applied a lot of adjectives to her - sweet, sunshinesque, fearsome. Things that, to her, summed her up - she was happy and generally easy going but woe betide anyone who crossed her. She was, fundamentally, she presumed, a good person but that didn't mean she was willing to put up with people's crap. "How many other people have you seen me seriously mad at?" she challenged, slightly concerned that he was so far off the mark.
"I guess... why would I?" she replied with a shrug, "It's not like we were friends before that, so what all did I lose by just... deciding it didn't matter? And after you stopped being friends with her too, there was even less point. There's plenty of other people to talk to without spending my time and energy on someone- the way she talks to and about people... Well, you said it yourself, it's hurtful and offensive. So, to have any kind of interaction I what... need to educate her on how to not see other people as a purchasable resource? Why would that possibly come under the banner of things that should be my responsibility?" she asked, a slight hint of anger creeping into her face. She might have been over the argument or the idea of Jessica herself but the idea of her, or anyone she cared about, having to do all the emotional labour of turning her into a human being who could converse with anyone outside her sheltered white rich girl bubble still pushed Zara's buttons. "It isn't my job. It shouldn't have to be yours. And I'm sure she's not dying to be besties with me either," she pointed out.
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Zara Jackson
Not our job to do it though
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Felipe De Matteo
July 08, 2020 10:42 PM
That. . . . is a very good point. by Felipe De Matteo
"None," Felipe replied easily, a small smirk risking a moment on his face. "I assume that means you're forgiving, since there are lots of people to be angry at," he pointed out, almost playfully. He wasn't about to point out that he counted himself among the people on that list, of course.He was surprised when Zara made an exceedingly convincing argument, not because he thought she wasn't capable of it or because he thought she didn't have one to believe in, but because he wouldn't have expected one to hit home for him. He spent the vast majority of his time worrying about other people, trying to fix or help other people and other people's problems, and none of it ever really got him anywhere. He was far from perfect and he had spent less time working on himself because he was so busy with everyone else. And he couldn't help acknowledging that she did have a point in terms of one important question he had sort of been refusing to ask - what was the point? What was he hoping to get out of all this? Just a clear conscious? A new and improved Jessica Hayles? Those both seemed pretty awful. So what was the point?
A pretty big part of him, he knew, missed his friendship with Jessica. But that almost definitely wasn't going to be restored, no matter how well their upcoming conversation went. In part, Felipe knew now some things he hadn't known before, and it seemed like a ridiculous folly to risk what he had with Zara for any sort of friendship or anything with Jessica. What he had mattered much more than what he might have, and he had no doubt at all that he had followed his heart the right direction. So maybe this was a matter of closure. Of taking bandaids off old wounds to find scars underneath instead of scabs. It would be nice not to hurt so much, and to have the opportunity to learn from his mistakes instead of ignoring them. That was probably true of this whole thing with Jeremy, too.
He also knew, because Zara had been kind and explained it to him, and because he'd seen it himself to some extent, that Zara understood what she was talking about much better than he did. Discrimination, privilege, oppression, classism, elitism, colorism . . . they were insidious. Felipe himself was guilty of more than one act of oppression, despite being the subject of others. So when Zara spoke of responsibility to educate others who were behaving badly, he knew that she was coming from a place of experience. She was trustworthy. Also, she was angry. When Zara was angry, it meant something and Felipe had long since learned that the best thing he could do was really really listen. Just like she listened to him.
"You know," he said softly, a bit embarrassed to be backtracking, but knowing that he shouldn't be. "You really are very brilliant." He kissed the top of her forehead before resting his chin on her head and closing his eyes. "I hadn't thought of it that way and you make a very good point. Thank you," he added in a thicker, softer voice, although he wasn't sure the right way to say why exactly he wanted to thank her. "Never stop getting angry, okay? You are strong and fierce and you shine so bright. I never want to change that. Mi bella y feroz novia."
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Felipe De Matteo
That. . . . is a very good point.
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Zara Jackson
July 10, 2020 8:12 PM
I'm full of those by Zara Jackson
Zara smirked as Felipe said he assumed she was forgiving because there was a lot to be angry about in the world. That, she had to concede, was a good point.“I just try to stay in a place where most of it doesn’t touch me, as much as possible - like, I’m not going out of my way to have conversations with your roommates. If I did, then yes, you’d see me getting angry and unforgiving more often.” So, essentially, she had written some people off. Maybe that wasn’t nice or fair or whatever but you never won wars by appealing to your oppressors - you won them by finding allies and changing their minds. Jessica occupied a weird space on that front. She wasn’t Pureblood. She should have been capable of caring and empathising and just… taking an interest. But apparently her worldview was still far too narrow for that to be possible.
“I promise,” she agreed happily, as he asked her never to change, sliding her arms back around him. He conceded more or less on everything, saying she was basically right. That was one of Felipe’s good points, he tended to agree - and he also didn’t want her to be any less fierce than she was. However, he seemed pretty intent on making up with Jessica. She wasn’t exactly sure she was trying to persuade him not to - or rather, that hadn’t been the question she had been answering. She had been answering why she wouldn’t forgive her, but if he agreed totally that Zara was in the right about not wanting to educate Jessica…?
“So, where does that leave you and her?” she checked.
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Zara Jackson
I'm full of those
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Felipe De Matteo
July 13, 2020 9:48 AM
Yeah? Wanna show me? No wait that's . . . back up. by Felipe De Matteo
Felipe wasn't sure what to think of avoiding people as a strategy for coping with them. He supposed he hadn't been given the . . . not the luxury per se, but the opportunity to do that growing up. He was the one whose job it was to go in when others couldn't get on anymore and he had to fix it. He was the diplomatic overseer who was always there, ready to listen and decide when others weren't sure what to do. He'd never gotten to learn what happened if he wasn't sure what to do himself, except that once he'd seen his father make use of a couple small charms to solve a problem when he couldn't figure out how himself. Ethics, he knew, were less important than helping others. Which was confusing, because ethics were good and helpful and provided structure and rules to what was otherwise a chaotic mashup of differing perspectives."To be fair," he began when his head felt like it was stirred up too much to say much else. "I also avoid talking to my roommates as much as possible," he smirked.
She slid her arms around him and he was happy. It felt right, and he was suddenly reminded that they were in the Gardens with no supervision right now. It was actually a bit gross to think of generations of students in similar situations but he pushed that aside in favor of just how badly he wanted to snuggle with his girlfriend. She was so soft and small and she smelled nice. Kisses, snuggles, either way would be just fine by him.
He leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder in a full hug for a moment and was there when she asked where this conversation left him and Jessica. He didn't really want to think about it too much but he could feel that something was about to happen that would be helpful. This was, however much he disliked it, a question he needed to know the answer to for himself.
"I want closure," he finally decided, pulling back some to look at Zara more squarely, his head cocked some in consideration. "I want to know that we can work together in class the next three and some years and it won't be uncomfortable. I don't want the friendship I thought we had before," he added the last with a thick voice. It was meant to be a reassurance to Zara, but it also felt like an ax blow. Finally, after all this time, he had to admit to himself what he had really been hoping for and what he really had to give up on. He and Jessica wouldn't be able to be friends like he'd once thought they'd been, because they never really had been that anyway. Jessica knew that as well as he did, he suspected, and it was why reconciliation hadn't happened so far. "Is that okay with you?" he asked a little hesitantly, not sure whether or not he was supposed to ask. He didn't necessarily think he had to, but it seemed only right to include her on his decision-making when it was important.
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Felipe De Matteo
Yeah? Wanna show me? No wait that's . . . back up.
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