Evelyn Stones
December 29, 2019 12:01 AM
Can my magic be broken? [Tag Professor Wright] by Evelyn Stones
After the Herbology lesson, where Evelyn had realized that her theory was not one she could so easily put behind her, she'd begun thinking about how best to approach this subject with Professor Wright. She'd waited for their next session together, because it was weird to just set up an appointment and then not have anything more solid to talk about, but she still wanted to think it all through. What to say, what not to say, all that fun stuff. Luckily, Professor Wright already knew her to be inquisitive and generally not a comfortable person to be stuck with, so she could neither surprise him, nor disappoint him. He saw her at nearly her worst, and there was nothing to be done about that but get better. She hoped to make him proud some day.Today was not that day.
Knocking on the door to Professor Wright's office precisely on time, Evelyn waited for his response and then made her way inside. She'd brought her bag, which was always full of whatever he'd asked her to bring - usually books, notes, reflective writings, etc. - but her wand was in her hand. She approached the desk and set it down in front of her as she placed her bag on the floor and took a seat. It was a lot to do all at once, but everything seemed a bit jumpy for Evelyn just then.
"Hello, sir," she said, smiling. Her hair was up in a bun and her makeup was just whatever was left from the school day, but her smile was rarely as tired as she felt. Professor Wright was doing his genuine best - probably - to help her, and definitely giving up his time. She appreciated that and the man deserved a genuine smile for it. "How was your day?"
She gave him time to answer and made polite small talk, but she was well aware that he was not inclined to engage in such drivel, and she moved on to her point with some haste. "Professor, in Herbology this week, we were talking about wood used for different wands, and Professor Xavier had us read up about our own wands. Mine is hawthorn, sir, and it made me wonder: can people get a wand and then later it doesn't work for them or isn't the right fit? You mentioned that the dragon heartstring could make it more volatile, but I didn't know that hawthorn could, too. Can you pair up with a wand and then whatever part of you paired with that wand breaks and you don't match it anymore?"
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Evelyn Stones
Can my magic be broken? [Tag Professor Wright]
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Grayson Wright
December 29, 2019 10:52 AM
No, but it can change. by Grayson Wright
Gray's day had been a bit long, if he was to be honest. Aside from the usual rounds of classes and trying to keep vaguely on top of his grading and other staff duties, he had also been buried in a veritable blizzard of letters about last-minute things involving the manuscript. At this point - perhaps because of the proof sheets in his desk, or perhaps simply because it had been in production so long - the thing had stopped feeling as though it were his at all, though he had written it, and the letters were not only irritating - they also brought home the idea that the thing really was taking on a life of its own. It was, he thought, something that would have been tiring even without another full-time job on top of it.He did not, however, think it was remotely appropriate to say that to a student, and so he answered Evelyn's question with a pleasant, "I can't complain about it. How was yours?"
He had questions prepared to start off the session, but Evelyn beat him to it, asking about her wand, and reminded him on what a fine highwire he (a not particularly athletic and rather shortsighted, in the literal sense as well as the figurative, man) walked here. As a teacher, he supposed he had been presenting himself as a model to the students for several years now, but this situation was one which did sort of bring it into focus. He had stumbled into this position, but to Evelyn, he supposed, he seemed like someone who knew what he was doing. Someone who had the answers. Things like this were why he was glad he didn't have any great interest in the idea of having children of his own - he could not imagine the stress of being looked up to all the time, day and night, for at least twenty odd years.
"I wouldn't use the term 'break'," he said, measuring his words carefully. "It's certainly possible to simply grow in a different direction than the one you were following when you were eleven, though. It's not unheard of for adults to change wands after having the same one for a decade or more. I suppose it's like...I have a plant in my office. I had to get it a new pot this summer. No part of the plant was broken - it simply didn't fit that pot anymore." If a junior scriptwriter had written that line in his old job, he would have sent it back for revisions, because it made him want to cringe, but he felt that it was important to impress on her that she was not broken in some way just because her journey to magical control was a little...different than most people's.
"Are you concerned that your wand may be part of what's given you trouble?" he asked. "You have improved immensely since we began this project," he added.
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Grayson Wright
No, but it can change.
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Evelyn Stones
January 01, 2020 10:45 PM
Still no good, though? by Evelyn Stones
Evelyn had a warm place in her heart for Professor Wright. He always seemed more interested in his own passions than in teaching, although he tried very hard not to let it show. Just something about the way he took notes at odd times, or when his eyes looked like they were looking at something far away when someone said something interesting or absurd. At the same time, he did rather fit the mold of Annoying People Who Use Careful Words Around Me in Evelyn's life. She supposed that wasn't his fault. On the contrary, he probably didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. He couldn't just go off the cuff and start losing his mind over something Evelyn tried to talk to him about, no matter how satisfying it would be to not be the only one who was losing their mind. Heinrich's anger had been gratifying and shown her just how much she needed to get angry sometimes, even if his anger was a little scary. It was good to learn about what anger could look like when it didn't involve hurting somebody else.Words were harder. Words could hurt even when they weren't meant to. Like when Professor Wright agreed that sometimes wands could become ill-suited to their witch or wizard, and then said she had improved. She thought that probably meant that he didn't think that was the case. She hadn't realized how much she'd been clinging to the idea - angry as it made her to think about it - until it was dashed. If she had the wrong wand, then it wasn't her fault that everything had gone wrong for her in the magic department. At the same time, she knew that probably wasn't it. Her magic hadn't ever done much when she'd tried to channel it through her wand, but it also wasn't just wand magic that was the problem; bursting elements from her hands was hardly about hawthorn and dragon heartstring.
"I see," Evelyn said, joining the game of using careful words. Everything was a euphemism with adults, and even with peers a lot of times. Evelyn thought the whole thing was just way more difficult than it needed to be. "I was just wondering. You really think I've improved?" Despite what it meant for the fault in all of this, it did feel good to hear she was improving. It was nice to think that maybe she'd be on track to lead a fairly normal magical life after graduation. The odds weren't very high, but still. It would be nice.
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Evelyn Stones
Still no good, though?
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Grayson Wright
January 02, 2020 10:42 AM
There's good, we just have to find the right tools to bring it out. by Grayson Wright
"Yes," said Gray, glad to have a question to which he could give a simple, straightforward answer without thinking very carefully about his words. There was a level on which he had to do that all the time - he had never been a gifted speaker; he had had to concentrate all his life to speak clearly, especially if he was under any stress at all, though when he was younger he had been just as bad when he was merely enthusiastic about something - but as a teacher, he particularly had to think about individual words as well as enunciation. This issue, however, was straightforward. "You've shown less involuntary expression, which is progress by itself, and we're making progress with voluntary expression."This progress was not always smooth, admittedly. It was, for the most part, slow work with lots of setbacks and plateaus - hence why she was here right now, long after the issue was first brought to his attention. That had to be frustrating. He adjusted his glasses.
"Of course, it's probably not a good idea to take anything off the table," he continued. "Most witches and wizards can produce some magic with any wand - not as well as with their own wand, or as much, but some. Would you like to discuss why you didn't feel hawthorn suits you now?" he asked, always aware of the need to give her space and some sense of control over what she said and didn't say. He had not said it to her in as many words, but he had read enough to gather that magic could become volatile when people didn't feel they personally had control in their lives, and that restoring a sense of reasonable self-governance was helpful, so he was trying to help with that. "I'm sure that we could arrange for a wandmaker to visit and help you explore this further if you feel that's an option worth exploring...further," he added, losing control of the sentence a bit at the end. Ah, well. He wasn't writing dialogue anyway. The idea was there. Selina would have to approve, of course, but he imagined that would happen if it came to that - more extreme accommodations for students than asking a wandmaker to visit for one afternoon, or possibly taking Evelyn to one, had been made in the past, after all.
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Grayson Wright
There's good, we just have to find the right tools to bring it out.
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Evelyn Stones
January 04, 2020 2:07 AM
Bring *what* out? Everyone's so hush hush. by Evelyn Stones
CW - Rude thoughts about neurodivergence and medical conditions.Evelyn nodded, accepting that she had indeed shown less involuntary expression and that her voluntary expression had improved. It sounded like a disease or a disorder. Like she had magical Tourettes; instead of shouting or swearing or singing, she caught things on fire. She felt a bit like setting something on fire right then, and was glad that she had indeed improved far enough that it didn't happen without her saying the magic - literally - words.
Professor Wright asked about her half-cocked theory and he was so stinking calm and why was he so stinking calm? After all this time, he was still just . . . calm. Trying her best not to be snippy about it, Evelyn retrieved the papers from Herbology that explained each wand wood. Reading allowed made it harder to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Hawthorn wands may be particularly suited to healing magic, but they are also adept at curses, and it has been generally observed that the hawthorn wand seems most at home with a conflicted nature, or with a witch or wizard passing through a period of turmoil. Hawthorn is not easy to master, however, and one should only ever consider placing a hawthorn wand in the hands of a witch or wizard of proven talent," she read, her voice getting more watery by the end of it. Her eyes were wet - but her cheeks were dry - when she looked up at Professor Wright again and slumped back in her chair.
"Why does everything have to be defined by turmoil and conflict? Why can't it just be easy? Why does everyone else get to decide everything all the time?" She clenched her fists, aware that her voice was raising. She could feel the edge of her magic, like a cliff she wanted to just fall off the side of, but she knew how to stop that now and she shut her eyes, breathing the way Professor Wright had taught her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm just so tired of all this."
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Evelyn Stones
Bring *what* out? Everyone's so hush hush.
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Grayson Wright
January 07, 2020 10:09 AM
The aforementioned good, of course. by Grayson Wright
""I'm just so tired of all this."Alarm bells rang pointedly in Gray's head at that point. That was not good. That was not good at all.
"Evelyn. I want you to listen to me very carefully," said Gray, a little more firmly than he was accustomed to speaking, trying to make eye contact in order to hopefully get the point across as thoroughly as possible. He clasped his two hands together on top of the desk and picked his words as carefully as he thought he ever had in his life. And to think he had been stressed before about picking le mot juste when he was writing....
"I don't know exactly what it feels like to be in your position," he said. "But I can tell you one thing - which is that no-one always gets to decide everything all the time. Most of us don't even get to decide very many things half of the time. Look at me - I didn't choose to have poor vision. I've had it for as long as I can remember." He had seen photographs of himself as a small child without glasses, but he didn't really remember a time when he hadn't worn them. Reaching for them in the morning and taking them off at night was as reflexive as breathing for him. "More recently - why, I came to work here at Sonora after my former employer chose not to renew my contract, actually - a job I'd had for years, and which I cared about very much. It's not pleasant at all, I'll grant you that, but times when life is easy, and times when life is full of turmoil...we're all at the mercy of Lady Fortune there. But every situation changes in time, one way or another, and can become smoother sailing. Or rougher sailing - we can't say for sure. All we can do is work on the things we can control to try to increase the odds that things will improve. Just as we've been doing here. And look at you now," he added encouragingly. "I can see you're stressed, but you're not losing control. That's good. I'm proud of you, Evelyn."
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Grayson Wright
The aforementioned good, of course.
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Evelyn Stones
January 07, 2020 8:19 PM
Why is that my responsibility? by Evelyn Stones
Professor Wright didn't scare her. Professor Wright didn't scare her.He used his Deeply Serious voice, one that Evelyn hadn't actually ever heard him use as far as she could remember, and saying the right things. Saying that he understood that it was frustrating and saying what she felt like everyone else seemed to afraid to say: too bad. The sympathy and love and care she'd received from the McLeods had been exactly what she'd needed. The anger and kindness she'd received from Heinrich had been exactly what she'd needed. Now, all that was left was to figure out what to do with the fact that she was basically pissed off. Her magic was broken, her father was terrible, her mother probably was terrible too, and everything was way more difficult than it needed to be. It was perfectly easy to curl up in a ball, shut the world away, and move along like that. That's what she'd done for a long time. But no more.
Now she went to private lessons with the Charms professor to improve herself and be better than her parents or her past. Now she had goals and hopes and ambitions and there wasn't anyone in the world who could stop her, except herself. And. Now, maybe she wouldn't stop herself. Professor Wright got it even though, obviously, he didn't really know what he was getting. He was right though. After everything, after so many things that were outside of her control, she wasn't losing control now.
She felt her shoulders square and her chin come up. She felt her mouth set into a determined line and she nodded. She was happy and there was happiness to be found in her eyes, but that wasn't the important bit because stuff sucked and that was just too bad. Now she needed to do better. Now, after everything, she could do better.
"Thank you, professor," she said. "For what it's worth, I'm really glad you came to Sonora."
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Evelyn Stones
Why is that my responsibility?
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Grayson Wright
January 11, 2020 10:59 AM
Life's not fair, alas. by Grayson Wright
Gray had not known if he was saying the right thing. He had worried that comparing his own disappointments in life to her situation might be seen as trivializing her problems, and might have the exact opposite of the effect he had been aiming for. He worried that hearing that the world was often hard and unfair and that there was often no easy future waiting to be found might upset her, or plunge her into some kind of existential despair.This distressed him, and not because it might mean an outburst or more work. He was surprised by how fond he'd grown of Evelyn, if fond was the term. Protective, certainly. It mattered to him that he was actually helpful, rather than worsening the situation, and that she do well.
Fortunately, however, her expression changed, and it seemed that he must have said something helpful. There were times when Evelyn seemed to be hiding emotions, rather than overflowing with them, but she was not, he thought, someone with an exceptional talent for faking them.
"I appreciate that," said Gray when Evelyn said she was glad he had come to Sonora. "Thank you." He adjusted his glasses, slightly awkwardly. "So. Are you feeling a bit more...comfortable with your wand now? Or is this something you'd still like to explore further?" he asked.
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Grayson Wright
Life's not fair, alas.
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