Oz Spellman
December 17, 2021 4:49 PM
Someone to lean on
by Oz Spellman
Co-written With: Xavier Lundstrom
Oz sat in the same windowsill where his pillow fight with Xavier had started. Only this time, it was his turn to be the one who was curled in on himself, feeling cut off from the hustle and bustle of the Pecari Common Room. He was pretty good at hiding his feelings under a cheery smile when he needed to interact with people, though as he currently wasn’t doing that, he was staring rather moodily out of the window instead. At least, until he felt someone sit down in the space next to him.
“Am I going to find you down here in the middle of the night?” Xavier asked.
“It’s not the start of term,” Oz pointed out, faking a frown of confusion, even though he knew exactly what Xavier meant.
“Something’s on your mind though,” Xavier pointed out.
Oz toyed with denial for a moment. It was his go to. But Xavier wasn’t going to believe him, and no one liked a liar. He didn’t want Xav to be mad at him, on top of everything else.
“Probably would help if there was a bit more on my mind. I can be such an idiot sometimes,” he sighed.
“I don’t think of you like that,” Xavier assured him. “What makes you say that?”
“Don’t you?” Oz arched his eyebrows. “Cos it seems like half the time I open my mouth, I make you mad at me. You think I’m an idiot a solid portion of the time.” It wasn’t even Xavier he was really thinking of, and it probably wasn’t fair to direct his grumps at him, but he also couldn’t quite believe that Xavier was defending him when he spent half their interactions in a huff at something Oz had said.
“I also think you’re a good friend. You’re a good listener. Is this cos of what happened the other day?” he asked.
“No. Other stuff. Not you stuff. I just always screw up.”
“Hey…” Xavier reached out an arm, but Oz visibly stiffened. He dropped it back in his lap with a sigh and an eye roll.
“No.. It’s not..” Oz could join the dots. Xavier thought he was being flinchy about it because of the gay thing. Admittedly, that was going through his head as well now, and he was trying to untangle the knot of the reasons why he was reacting that way, and it was incredibly frustrating that he couldn’t totally swear to why it was or wasn’t. “I just don’t hug,” he said. “Well, like my mom and stuff,” he mumbled, even sounding slightly embarrassed by this. “But my ‘friends’ back home were way more likely to slug me than to do that.”
“They didn’t actually?” Xavier asked.
“What?”
“You mean that… I mean, you’re using that as an example, but they didn’t actually hit you right?” Xavier asked. He sounded shocked, and Oz knew it was utterly ridiculous that the feeling burning through him at that was shame, when he’d done nothing wrong, but something about Xavier’s incredulity made him feel like he was a freak for having been hit.
“Yes. Literally. I’ve been in multiple physical fights.. That happens, Richie Rich,” he glared. There was a stunned silence, in which he just managed to feel the regret of having resorted to that tone of voice, the kind that was going to push Xavier away, before the other boy replied.
“Well, you definitely deserve more friends who hug you now then, don’t you? I won’t,” he added, as Oz tensed up again. “Not unless you say it’s okay. You know they’re total buttholes and not your actual friends, right?”
“Yeah. I’m aware. I’m not that stupid,” Oz huffed.
“You’re not stupid. Why’d it happen?” Xavier asked. Oz could hear his hesitation - probably because he, Oz, had pushed back at his surprise before. Xav clearly didn’t know anything about how his life worked, and part of Oz just wanted to keep pushing and not let him understand. He could tell him it was just perfectly normal where he was from, and it wouldn’t even have been lying that much. He was sure that, if he hadn’t gotten beaten up over the stuff he had done, something else would have come up. Still, he’d pushed Xav away once already this conversation. And yet he was still here.
“They wanted to go after Henry, and I wouldn’t let them,” he admitted. Xav swore. A reaction which had Oz turning to stare wide eyed and almost laughing. “I didn’t think you knew language like that. Urgh, don’t tell me I’m a bad influence…” he sighed.
“I have a much older brother. So, I knew plenty of words like that before you came along. But seriously… Why would someone go after Henry?”
“My brother is kind of a nerd, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Oz pointed out, although he knew none of that was a real reason—or rather, it was where he came from, but he didn’t want it to sound like an excuse or a justification. They still shouldn’t have wanted to go after Henry. Except… “I dunno… I have a talent for attracting people who are trouble. Except you,” he added. He really hoped Henry would get over his mental block on Xavier. He was the first friend Oz could remember having who he felt like he’d be totally comfortable letting be around Henry. There was a part of him that was still rebelling against that idea, but it was probably just habit. There was no frigging way he was going in for a hug in the middle of the common room, but he shifted slightly so that his arm was pressing against Xav’s. It was a nice feeling. He could get used to the idea of having someone around that he could literally lean on.
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Oz Spellman
Someone to lean on
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Xavier Lundstrom