Time for a talk [Marissa] on At Home

Valentine Duell

August 14, 2021 6:42 AM

Time for a talk [Marissa] by Valentine Duell

OOC: CW: hinted references at biological reproductive processes. BIC:

Valentine sat at the kitchen table, across from Mama, with a half emptied cup of hot chocolate and the book. Soon after she had arrived home for the summer, she asked Mama a question or two about dating and Mama had given her the book along with instructions to ask questions after she’d read it. Val had read it, though it had taken a bit longer than it probably should have. More than once she had to put it aside for a bit out of sheer embarrassed uncomfortableness. She also got distracted by some of the diagrams which left her a bit wide-eyed and wondering if Mama had looked through the book at all. Now she understood what Mama had meant about this being ‘less weird for both of them’.

This thought was severely intensified once her mind made the connection that in order for her to exist Mama and Papa had... Nope. She had to assumed that Mama and Papa had found some other way because the thought of them doing anything described in the book was wierd beyond belief.

Naturally she had had questions, and much much different ones than she had started with. The ones relating most closely to things explained in the book they had discussed a bit awkwardly. Now it was on to the more important questions. Val just had to decide where to start. Out of the list, two rose to the top pretty quickly. She took another sip from her not-so-hot-anymore chocolate, still trying to internalize and normalize her new information. She was sorely tempted to ask where Papa had come up with the stork bit, but she suspected he’d just been being silly. Instead she went with her top two at once. With these she was able to actually look at Mama when she asked them, with many of the previous questions, she had not.

“How did you know Papa was the one for you?” She asked Mama with the expression of a drowning person seeking for a lifeline. It was quickly followed up with, “How old were you when you had your first kiss?” The book hadn’t had a lot to say on 'partner selection' or kissing.

OOC: Marissa actions approved by her author.

2 Valentine Duell Time for a talk [Marissa] 1490 1 5

Marissa Duell

August 18, 2021 4:05 PM

This should be...fun. by Marissa Duell

It was possible, Marissa acknowledged, that shoving a book at the problem might not be the best way to deal with Val growing up. In fact, if she combined common opinions on the subject with knowledge of, well, Val and what Val was like, it seemed fairly probable that this was in fact the case. Compromises, however, sometimes had to be made, and since the whole thing was (as far as she could tell, anyway) invariably unpleasant for everyone ever involved, she had decided it was as good a time as any to make one. At least, she thought, she was doing a bit better than her own mother had done; her mother had signed the permission slip for Marissa to attend fourth-grade health class without even telling her, and then they had never mentioned anything about the topic ever. Marissa did at least know what Val was going to learn about, rather than hoping for the best and counting on cheap romance novels and sleepovers with other girls to fill in the gaps.

Or at least, so she had assumed. Then Val started with more...abstract...questions, and Marissa began to consider offering a rain check so she could go raid her mother's old boxes of relatively classy romances and find an appropriate one to shove at this problem, too.

"Oh, gosh," she said, addressing the less abstract one first. "I think...fifteen? Sixteen? Somewhere in that area." Remembering things was easy; remembering exactly when a given thing had happened got harder, at least these days. She didn't know if that was on her or if she could blame mild brain damage from Giselle's school for that, though the second option was far more appealing. "As for the other thing...."

It seemed somehow disloyal and wrong to say Val might have better luck asking her father about that kind of thing, lumping them together as bigger romantics than Marissa was really wired to be. She found such tendencies adorable in them, but struggled to imagine them in herself, at least in the way she thought Val meant. "For me, anyhow," she said instead, "I'm not sure there was ever any one specific moment." The closest she could get was noting that she had realized things were serious when Val's other grandparents had died - that the deaths of people she didn't know had mattered to her because it had mattered to Andrew. That, however, was not really the sort of note she thought she ought to hit, at least not without consulting Andrew, and as long as there seemed some reasonable chance of neither scarring Val for life nor exaggerating her dramatic tendencies. "I knew, I think, that if he asked me to marry him, that I would, for a while before we got engaged, but I don't know exactly when I knew it - it's the sort of thing, for me anyway, where by the time I noticed that I knew it, it felt like I'd already known it for a while. If that makes any sense at all," she half-joked. "I think it's a little different for everyone, though. There's as many relationships in the world as there are people in them."

16 Marissa Duell This should be...fun. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 18, 2021 9:36 PM

I do like fun things by Valentine Duell

Valentine let out a small sigh of relief at Mama's answer. If Mama hadn't kissed anyone until she was fifteen, she didn't feel quite so odd about not having done it yet by fourteen. Something gnawed at her though, Mama didn't remember it? Wasn't your first kiss supposed to be special and magical and something to never be forgotten? Loads of questions began piling up in her brain, demanding answers from Mama. "It..." she began slowly and delicately, trying her best to pick the right words, "...wasn't very memorable then?" Her expression was one of pure worried apology. The question sounded terrible to her, like some sort of insult. "Was it with Papa?" She wasn't sure if the added inquiry made it better or worse.

Val listened intently as Mama explained her feelings. She nodded intently, "It does make sense," it reminded her of Bonabelle. The Aladren had always been her friend, but now she felt as if the girl was something more and she wasn't sure when that had happened. Then Bonabelle had decided that she didn't want Valentine any more? Because Valentine wanted to be a mother? She'd known she needed a boy for that... and now, thanks to the book, she was well aware of why. But she was pretty sure she still did want Bonabelle. There were other friends though that she liked as well.

"Did you...?" Oh, this was going to be another one of those delicate questions. Why were they all like this? She started over again, "Did you 'like' anyone else, other than Papa?" Her face burned in embarrassment. "I mean, before Papa? How did you know who liked you and who you liked?" She looked at her mother imploringly for a moment then dropped her eyes back to her mug. "I have some friends at school, all of them are nice and friendly enough. Some I think I might like more than some others, but I'm not sure." Then in a quieter voice, "I'm not sure if any of them like me." Adding obvious emphasis to the word 'like'.

2 Valentine Duell I do like fun things 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 25, 2021 8:37 PM

That was sarcasm, baby. by Marissa Duell

"I'm not sure that's exactly how I'd put it," said Marissa after thinking for a moment. "More like - 'oh gosh, I have no idea what I'm doing, my hair is definitely about to cause some kind of problem' - it was a lot longer back then," she clarified. She had never cut her hair as short as her own mother had after having kids, but it was significantly shorter than it had been in her teens. Or, for that matter, twenties; she'd only firmly confined it to shoulder length after Greece. "But so it goes," she added philosophically with a shrug. "At least for me. I worried even more about anything I couldn't put in a list back then than I do now, if you can believe it." Which Val might not; Marissa didn't make much of a secret of her affection for compiling albums, or that she was at a loss for what to do with herself without various small items of stationery to hand. She always had been that way, though she thought she had become slightly more compulsive about it after they had come back to the states, perhaps due to subconsciously knowing something was...Off and trying to document everything to compensate.

She was concerned for a moment when Val hesitated, but when Val resumed talking and then kept doing so, the heart of the matter seemed to finally come out. Unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of thing Marissa thought she could really fix, especially for someone as different from herself as her daughter, but better to know, she supposed, than to speculate.

"It's not an exact science," she said sympathetically. "I...I had a few crushes in my life before Papa, it's one of those things that's hard to explain how you know you had it, though. Usually I think that sort of thing is pretty shallow, though, so it's probably not what you're talking about," she acknowledged. "Your papa was the one who 'liked' me first, I think - he asked me on a date, I thought 'he's nice, he's handsome, why not.' You have a ball year coming up, don't you? You'll probably see a lot more...obvious...behavior than usual when you go back to school, that might help you clear up your question about any of your friends," she said with a smile. "But mostly it's all...very awkward and scary and uncertain and you're making it all up as you go along and it's amazing that anyone ever manages dinner and a movie, much less getting married," she joked. "Believe me, I wish I had a better answer," she added, patting Val on the shoulder.

16 Marissa Duell That was sarcasm, baby. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 25, 2021 9:44 PM

Ooh, it did seem like an odd kind of fun. by Valentine Duell

Despite the overall tone of the conversation, Valentine let out a mirthful giggle at the though of her mother attempting to wrangle much longer locks of her pretty hair while Papa tried to find some way around it to smooch her. She loved her parents, they were the best and she hoped she could do half as well as them someday. Maybe she was going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to 'solve' her own situation, she should probably just listen to Mama's stories and learn what she could. Val took another sip from her mug and tried to relax back into her chair. The movement was accompanied by a shake of her head indicating that there was no way she was going to believe that Mama had relaxed on her note taking habits since her school days.

"Oh yeah?" Val asked her mother in a very leading fashion, "A few?" she asked suggestively with her traditional mischievous smile. "What drew you to them? What made you realize they weren't right?" Suddenly she stopped short and a look of surprised shock came over her followed by embarrassment, and then playful chagrin. "Oh, umm.. Stop me if I start sounding to much like Aunt Jhonice." The thought brought back the memory from a few days ago when Aunt Jhonice had announced that she was pregnant. Which means that... Val's eyes flicked back down to the book.

The description Mama gave of her and Papa meeting up. It sounded a bit like her and Stanley, well... other than the 'nice' and 'handsome' parts. Not that he wasn't, but it wasn't really something she'd thought about at the time. He'd been a boy and asked her if she wanted to date. That was how things were supposed to work, so... Maybe he had the crush on her then realized it wasn't working? Still, breaking up by owl was a terrible way to do it.

At the mention of the ball her eyes lit up with equal amounts of excitement and worry. "It is? That would be glorious and frightening all at the same time. She remembered her 'dancing' at the end of year gaming party with Henry. It hadn't gone to badly, and this would be a full school affair with real music and decorations and everything! Everything including a date. "Yes..." she responded slowly, "Can we go shopping for a fancy ball gown?" She was going to have to attract somebody that wanted to take her to the dance. Naturally Bonabelle was at the front of her mind, but... she still wasn't entirely sure where they were, and did Bonabelle even want to go to a big fancy dance? Did she want to dance with a boy? For some reason, despite her feelings for Bonabelle, that idea appealed to her more so.

Valentine put her own hand on top of Mama's on her shoulder. "Mama?" She asked as thoughts and statements coalesced into a thought. "Where does marriage fit into this?" she vaguely indicated the book again. Aunt Jhonice didn't say anything about it with her being pregnant now." Her eyes just kept darting back and forth, seemingly not able to rest either upon the book or Mama, "Did you and Papa...?" She turned beet red at the thought and couldn't finish. "When," she tried again, "should I...?" Nope. She buried her head in her arms in embarrassment on the table. Suddenly kissing didn't seem like such a big deal.

2 Valentine Duell Ooh, it did seem like an odd kind of fun. 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 25, 2021 10:39 PM

...oh. That's...good, I guess? by Marissa Duell

Marissa laughed when Val gave her permission to cut her off short of sounding like Jhonice. "You're all right," she said reassuringly. "So far. Hm. Well, in school before Sonora, it was just because all the girls in the class had agreed someone was the cutest boy in class, or because someone was nice to me and I thought 'sure we'll get married someday,' And then I'd forget about it over the holidays. You have to remember, I started school when I was six, it's a lot different than just growing up with...well, me mostly for company. And when I was at Sonora...." She sighed. "I had to work very hard while I was at school." This wasn't something she had told Val much about. A little, but not much. "I was never very good at magic, so I worked as hard as I could to get everything in my written work as perfect as it could be. I'd always been a good student and it was upsetting to not be able to do better at Sonora, no matter how hard I tried. I barely had a social life at all, so I'd think a boy was attractive and that was usually pretty much it," she admitted, a touch glumly.

She was relieved to get an easy question about the dance. "Of course," she said. "I've been looking forward to that part since you started school." Even she had had fun with her mother and Paige looking for a dress to wear to the Midsummer Balls in her day, despite the way their relationships had been fairly distant at that point in their lives because of Marissa's magic and seclusion in a boarding school for most of the year.

And then it got worse. Much worse.

"All right," she said firmly to the back of her daughter's head, glad Val wasn't going to see her flushing a bit too. "Quick social rule, Valentine - the only people you should ask about their histories in...that area, are people who you're considering being involved with." She was pleased, really, on the whole that Valentine was sweet and innocent even at this age, but there were occasional...downsides. Including sometimes needing to spell out the finer points of good manners when it came to uncomfortable topics. "And don't say anything about it to your aunt, I don't think she...wants to talk about that situation," she added. "Things are complicated for adults sometimes, honey. Just focus on the part where you'll have a cousin," she suggested.

"As for...Well, your father thinks you should join a religion that has nuns and then become a nun," she said, suppressing the urge to laugh upon saying something that didn't match the tension of the rest of the conversation. "He's had strong feelings about that ever since you told us about Stanley. More practically speaking - well. If you're not sure who you like, or who likes you, and don't even know about kissing yet, then definitely not any time soon," she said firmly. This was quite uncomfortable, but being matter-of-fact when she was personally uncomfortable was something that had to happen sometimes. Having a kid had constituted agreeing to that trade-off. "I'd very strongly suggest not before you're an adult at all, either. If you did, I'd rather you told me so I could take you to a doctor to make sure you don't have a baby you don't want, but I'd really rather you didn't. But absolutely never with anyone or any time you're not sure that that's what you want to be doing," she added, back on safer ground. "If anyone tries to convince you to do something you don't want to, and they won't leave you alone, that's one of the few times I'd endorse you just hexing someone. That kind of thing's no good at all and you deserve better people."

16 Marissa Duell ...oh. That's...good, I guess? 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 26, 2021 4:51 PM

This is hard. by Valentine Duell

Why was growing up so hard and weird? Wouldn't it just be easier to stay a child? Val knew she couldn't and she really didn't want to. She wanted to be a grown-up mature woman like Mama… but couldn't she just skip to that stage without all this awkwardness? It almost seemed to her that Bonabelle had done it. Why was this so much more difficult for her? Still, she needed to do it, it was the only way.

Her mother's own scholarly experiences mirrored some of her own. Although it sounded like Mama had a worse time of it than she was. Some of her classes were going okay. But she was going to have to cut back on the social side of things this year… all to be a responsible grown-up.

Collapsed as she was on the table, Val wilted a bit more under Mama's stern tone. She'd made another mistake. There wasn't much about this conversation that she was liking. A cousin and dress shopping so far. Everything else…? She sighed and pulled herself upright once more with a slightly mournful but contemplative expression.

"I'm sorry," Val apologized. "So Papa doesn't want me to…" she gave the book a fleeting glance once again. Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a voice that sounded like Ness shouting something about the patriarchy. "There are boys at school that are really nice…" again her voice drifted off as she thought of sitting with Alexander while he was drawing in the common room, dancing with Henry, chatting with Wally at dinner, even walking with Stanley in the gardens. "Or," she continued as she processed some of Mama's other words about things getting complicated, waiting and not doing things she didn't want to do, "Is he just worried about me as well?"

Along with the boys, thoughts of Bonabelle came as well. She wondered if Mama had ever liked any girls, but was now afraid that it may be one of those questions you don't ask. So instead she asked something else that had just popped into her head. "What did Grandpa think when you told him about Papa?"

2 Valentine Duell This is hard. 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 26, 2021 5:39 PM

Unfortunately, yes. by Marissa Duell

"He'd really rather you did not, yes," said Marissa.

At least Val came to a reasonable conclusion about that issue. "We're your parents. Worrying about you's a big part of the job description," she said. "And papas are like that - they'd rather you stayed little forever. I wouldn't mind if you had stayed little forever - " this with a slightly sad smile; she had enjoyed having a little girl - "but I think it's easier for mothers to see daughters grow up, and for fathers to see it happen with sons," she said. "Though that's just a theory, since we've only had daughters in my family as long as I've been in it."

She supposed the question about her father was fair enough after that speech. "Hm. Well, you'd probably have to ask him to be sure, but as far as I know Daddy was pretty okay with him." Her father, thank all goodness, had always been a reasonable, more or less (sometimes less, but more often more) enlightened person who hadn't felt the need to threaten to shoot people for looking twice at his daughters even as a joke - or 'joke,' as it was. "It was...Mama and Daddy both had trouble figuring out what to do with me at all, I think," she said. "Muggle parents usually expect you to live at home all the time until you're a grownup, so it was always...weird at home when I was there, since I wasn't a grownup yet but I wasn't around as much as they expected a child to be. Still, they were used to me being the responsible one, between me and Paige, and I'd survived being away from home so long, so I think Grandpa just compared Papa to Aunt Paige's boyfriends and decided he liked him fine," she concluded with a slightly wry expression.

It occurred to her that she was probably telling Val more real things about her youth in this conversation than in most of the other ones they'd ever had put together. Oh, she'd told stories about growing up - dance classes and funny memories from school and things - but that had all been rather...surfacey stuff. Not the formless loneliness and feelings of displacement and isolation and stress which had really made up so much of the experience.

"Grandpa was worried about me being involved when your other grandparents died, though," she said, concluding she probably really could not get through this conversation without either lying or mentioning Andrew's parents at some point, even though she worried that might prompt Val to bring them up in other contexts. Val wasn't the type to open up someone's old wounds intentionally, but it was such a delicate subject, especially now that they had both Giselle and Jhonice in the family.... "We'd been dating for a while, but that sort of thing...I think Daddy thought things might be going too fast because of that, and that maybe we were together for the wrong reasons for a while after that. So that's another thing that can get too complicated - maybe we'll like anyone you bring home just fine, but have other reasons we're worried. Like I said, job description. The thing we want most is just for you to be happy, though, so if someone makes you happy, we'll just have to learn to live with 'em even if we don't ever really all take to each other that much."

16 Marissa Duell Unfortunately, yes. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 27, 2021 7:54 AM

But it is good. by Valentine Duell

Val let go a little sigh of relief. Papa didn't want her to and Mama didn't want her to either. She didn't think she really wanted to do anything along those lines. At least not yet. She gave Mama a small smile, "I'll try not to give either of you anything to worry about." She paused and considered Mama's other comment. Then she put on her sweetest and most innocent expression, "I'm still not opposed to having siblings if you want to test the theory…" It had been a while, but it had been a common enough request when she was younger. Granted now she knew more than perhaps she wanted about what was involved in that process.

"Well, he is Papa, I like him too. So Grandpa is a good judge of character." Val agreed. "He makes you happy, right?" She ventured after drinking in Mama's talk about her long lost set of grandparents. They had never been talked about much and whenever they did come up... it was a bit awkward and the subject didn't last long. She'd naturally never known them, nor had she ever known Mama's Mama. She'd been around when Val had been a baby, but was gone before she could have any real memories of her. It made her feel even more alone at times, she hadn't had siblings or friends or cousins... she'd only had Grandpa other than her parents. She wondered, for the millionth time what Papa's parents had been like. Papa wasn't around, Aunt Giselle wasn't either...

"I could see how that could make things... complicated," responded the younger girl a bit slowly. "If I was dating someone and they had something like that happen..." she paused trying to comprehend the scenario, "I'd want to do whatever I could to make them feel better or help or just be there for them." She refrained from asking if 'moving to fast' involved things described in the book as it was probably another one of those questions you didn't ask. She also wondered if Mama's 'answer' to her question and now this was in fact an answer after all to her question. But that wasn't her focus anymore at the moment. "Did you know them well? Papa's parents?" she clarified. She'd only ever seen some pictures and heard a few light descriptions of them, but she was curious about the people who had made Papa and Aunt Giselle.

She could feel that the conversation was really heavy, and that was good. She hadn't ever really talked to Mama like this before. Perhaps she'd just been to young, maybe growing up had some more advantages than she thought. But maybe it would be good to put some lighter topics in as well. "With a fancy new dress," she began, "I may need some make-up as well. Could we do some of that as well?"

2 Valentine Duell But it is good. 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 27, 2021 7:00 PM

That's growing up for you. by Marissa Duell

Marissa laughed at the new ploy in an old game. "But I got a perfect child the first time," she joked, chucking Val under the chin with a wink. "Why mess with perfection?"

She smiled fondly at Val when asked if Andrew made her happy. "Yes," she said. "We've had a lot of hard times, there have been times when were both absolutely miserable because of things that happened - but I think we've been happier together than either of us would have been apart, and that's about as much as you can ask for in a partner, really. There's no way to spent very long with anyone without hard times occurring, but it's easier to go through them with someone who cares about you, and who you care about." She chuckled, a touch self-consciously. "I know that sounds like a cliche, but sometimes they do have a basis in fact," she said. "It's...a fine line, between the nonsense in romance novels and an actual good relationship."

It was hard not to feel a pang of concern for Val when she said she'd want to help someone she cared about in a time like the one after her grandparents' death; she supposed, with a mental bob of acknowledgment to her father, turnabout was fair play. "Of course you would. And I'd worry about how that was going to affect you emotionally, just being around so much sadness, and in a relationship with someone going through so many things. God forbid you ever have to, though. We're all lucky that things like that aren't common." She shook her head when asked about her in-laws. "I didn't get the chance, no. I wish I had, and I wish you'd gotten to know more of your grandparents."

This conversation was unusually heavy all around, and she wasn't entirely sure what to make of Val suddenly switching back to levity. Was she processing what she had been told on her own, in her own way? Or was she trying to avoid it? For the moment, she couldn't tell which. She could, however, smile, so she did that. "You know, I think we might just be able to fit in a little of that," she agreed. "Within reason, of course, but you're right, a fancy dress does have to have a little something to go with it."

16 Marissa Duell That's growing up for you. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 27, 2021 9:09 PM

It gets easier from here on out? by Valentine Duell

Valentine could resist giving Mama an eye roll that was accompanied by slight blush when she was described as 'perfect'. "Well," she responded with a smile, "look where I came from." Mama was pretty much perfect herself as far as she was concerned. As for the makeup thing.. yes she wanted it to go with the dress and the ball, but she also kinda wanted it for maybe other occasions around school. She needed to convince someone to ask her to the ball after all. Maybe she should have tea with Aunt Giselle again. Mama didn't use make-up a lot though.... but she already had Papa. "You went to the ball with Papa, right? What was it like?" Her eyes sparkled a bit with that romantic flair, "Was it magical?" Then in a quieter voice, "How did you get him to ask you to go?"

The rest of what Mama had said, the heavy stuff, the hard stuff, she still contemplated for a bit. Papa made her happy, through hard times and easy ones. Hard times were inevitable, and they worked together through them. Mama hadn't gotten to know Papa's parents, that made her feel sad. Maybe she would have to ask Papa about them sometime, if the time seemed right. Along those lines though, there was something she could ask Mama. "What was Grandma, your Mama like? Grandpa and her were happy?"

In the end, this all was about one thing. "All of this is about family?" It was a mostly a question. "Dating, love, marriage," she gestured towards the book without looking at it, "It's all about creating the family that you want to make, to have around you." Her voice was slightly choked up as she spoke, it was obvious really, but it seemed to her that there was something more, something bigger behind that simple obvious statement. "It's not just the person you pick... it's their family as well. Or the lack thereof."

Who did she want in her family? That was what dating was for she guessed. Because of dating she was pretty sure that she didn't think Stanley would be right for her family. She had also 'dated' Bonabelle, and she still felt like she wanted Bonabelle to be part of her family. But... she also wanted a boy. Heinrich's strong protective arms around her had been a wonderful experience that she may never forget. She wanted that again... with someone that wasn't involved with another of her best friends. Plus, she needed a boy to make babies which was something she did want, someday when her parents wouldn't worry about it.

Val wondered again about Bonabelle. Mama was talking all about boys and she wasn't sure what Mama might think about her like-liking a girl... and wanting to like-like a boy as well. Would she still be 'perfect'? Ooo... then maybe she would need to make a sibling for her... She sighed again nervously, "Mama," she steeled herself, "Did you wind up with the family that you wanted?" She swirled the dregs of chocolate in the bottom of her mug, "What..." she started and stopped again, "What if... the family I make doesn't look quite the same?"

2 Valentine Duell It gets easier from here on out? 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 28, 2021 3:29 PM

Maybe, if you're very, very lucky. by Marissa Duell

"You can't really get other people to ask you things, pumpkin," said Marissa. "Well, at least not without doing something immoral that probably involves food tampering," she amended; they were witches, after all. Marissa might disapprove of that kind of thing, but that didn't mean that she couldn't have whipped up a cauldron of something with such effects had she lacked such compunctions, or that other people might not do so. "Good rule of thumb, if you have to tamper with someone's food to achieve something, there's a good chance it's not something you should be aiming for. There's probably exceptions, but most of the time...You get the idea." She thought back to being a teenager, so long ago. She was nearly forty. How had she gotten to be almost forty? How was Val this far along in being a teenager? "Honestly, I was amazed anyone even knew I was alive, at least for anything besides being the awful Crotalus Seeker, much less what your papa likes to say about being infatuated with me for years before that. We had gotten to know each other more, being prefects - the lounge is small and you end up paired with everyone for duty sometimes - but I mostly thought he was just being very kind, since we were both prefects and had to get through that dance. Plus, there were lessons that year - " she recalled suddenly Coach Pierce in a dress and how it had seemed very strange - "so he knew his feet were relatively safe, anyway."

The subject of her mother was one she thought about for a moment before answering, though not due to emotional distress as such. It had been difficult for her to come to terms with her mother's death, but she had done it, long ago. It was more a matter of having rarely thought about what her mother's personality had been, who she'd been rather than just her role as Marissa's mother.

"Mama was a strict woman," she said. "She thought things ought to be done a certain way, and she'd let you know. She and Grandpa worked together well, I think. I like to think she was happy with her life, but I don't know for sure. We weren't on the best...terms I guess, when she died, unfortunately - she never did quite stop being angry about me going to Greece and taking you, and I think she might have been...jealous, I guess? Giselle was going to wizard school, but she had her family close to her as well. Or that was how it was supposed to have been. I think Mama resented magic because the way she saw it, all it ever did was tear apart our family - first I went to Sonora, then I married someone from the other side of the country, then I took her only grandbaby to another country altogether...." She smiled sadly at Val. "I wish I had a better answer, but that's the thing with people, they're not always the stories we might have wanted them to be."

Val drew a conclusion, finally - not a bad one, she thought. She nodded, concerned by the slight choking up. "The person's the most important thing, but you're not wrong," she said. "Maybe it's different for some people, but I think you've got it right. Your family's a part of you, for better or worse. Where you came from, it usually means a lot for who you are."

Marissa wasn't entirely sure what to think of the next things Val asked her. "Yes, to the extent I had any control over it," she said about her own family. The hesitation before the next question concerned her enough that she decided it needed more context. "Right off the bat, I want to say yes, of course," she said. "No two families are exactly alike. That doesn't mean one is better than another necessarily. I'm not sure exactly what you mean, though." She took out her wand. "Do you want more hot chocolate?" she asked.

16 Marissa Duell Maybe, if you're very, very lucky. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 28, 2021 9:19 PM

I've been lucky on occasion, I'm not sure about now. by Valentine Duell

Valentine's eyes widened in a look of horror. She shook her head, "Nononono Mama, nothing like that!" Something like that hadn't occurred to her, but it had to Mama? Apparently Mama was more nefarious than she'd thought? "I just meant…" she paused and squirmed in her seat a little, "How do you get boys to notice you? So they want to ask you?" She bobbled her head a little as she considered the situation, "How do I show my friends that I wouldn't mind it if they asked me to the dance if they wanted to? Without sounding...." she wasn't sure what words would be right to finish that sentence, so it just kinda dropped off. "I'm not a prefect, so I don't even have that going for me."

From the sounds of it, Mama may not be able to help her on that front. But there was something else in there that needed addressed. "Papa said you were an excellent Seeker. I'm still trying to get the position on the team." She let out a little huff of exasperation, "But I'll probably have to wait for Jeremy and Anya to graduate." That done, she could return to the topic. "Do you think there will be lessons for us this year?" She thought about the gaming party. "Remember I told you about the gaming party we threw for Ness? I danced a little with Henry… and realized that I could use some more practice."

Mama talked then about her Mama and most of it made Valentine feel kind of sad. Mamas and daughters should be on good terms. She nodded along with Mama's conclusion. "I'm glad we have a better relationship than that. I wish things could have been better for you." She thought a bit, "I guess I can see her point of view, but... Grandpa is okay with things. Do you think things might have gotten better after we got back from Greece?" She knew such speculation was ultimately useless, but it might allow for a more positive ending.

"You got to pick Papa," Val commented, then a bit more dryly added, "You and Papa then got to decided how many children you wanted." There may have been a slight hint of her own thoughts on that particular decision. Mama wanted some clarification, and she needed a moment to figure this out, so she looked at her mug and nodded for more. She might need more anyway.

Ness and Ellie and even the Brooding-Hawthornes showed and advocated that relationships outside of the 'societal norm' were perfectly okay and good. It was okay to be on that LQBTQA+ spectrum. After their time at the cafe, Val thought that she might be the 'B' in there. She loved people more for who they were than their biological make up. But....... while that was all well and good in school and a nice ideal for society as a whole. It being 'okay' with her family was another thing.

"Mama," She started off nervously, "I'm not sure yet..." she paused and gave her Mama an earnest look, desperate for understanding, "I sure I want to find a boy to take me to the dance, and I want to someday have a husband and kids." There the plural on that last word may have come out a bit stronger than the rest of the sentence. "But..." she added, "I'm also sure that I want Bonabelle as part of my family... if she wants to be." There was another brief pause before the rest spilled out, "We 'dated' a bit last term and it was... I liked it." Her expression was pure uncertainty and worry about how Mama might react.

2 Valentine Duell I've been lucky on occasion, I'm not sure about now. 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 29, 2021 1:47 PM

There's always the future to have luck in again. by Marissa Duell

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Marissa assured Val, trying not to laugh, as she reacted with utter horror to the idea of using love potions to get her way. It was a relief; Val was, after all, also related to Jhonice, who was at least willing to use potions to get into parties she wasn't supposed to be allowed at. A useful but sometimes ethically questionable discipline, potions. "Though you might have better luck...actually, no, you wouldn't," she sighed, considering that it was Andrew she was discussing. "I was going to say your father could probably give you better advice about what boys notice, but he might tell you something bizarre to try to keep you from attracting any. I might try asking him what was noticeable about me, though...you look like me, but you're very different from me overall," she acknowledged. "Honestly, the best way to know for sure is to ask them to dance, though if you want to be a bit more subtle, you could have conversations about the Ball leading up to it, you know - 'are you planning to dance at all' and 'I'm looking forward to dancing' and that kind of thing."

It seemed to be true that Val did want to, though she wasn't too sure of what she was doing on a dance floor. "There could be - if there aren't, though, maybe get some of your friends together and go to the Dance Room in MARS," she suggested. "The portraits can probably teach you some - better than nothing, anyway."

As Val speculated about her grandmother and how Elizabeth Stephenson might or might not have come around with time, Marissa was seized for a moment with a sensation not unlike superstitious fear - that just by Val saying she was glad they had a good relationship, she could somehow be dooming that relationship to fall apart. She tried to shake off the thought as irrational, but it was hard. She knew, of course, that things couldn't always be like they were now, just as they could never again be like they had been when Val was a little girl, but....

"Probably," she said, though she really had no idea what her mother would have thought, beyond strongly suspecting that progress would have come undone again when Val started school. She could just imagine her mother hearing about some of Val's academic struggles, the extra Transfiguration lessons and whatnot, and saying, I told you so, Marissa, you should have known it would be like it was with you all over again. If you'd just kept her here, she could have had a normal life - now I imagine she'll do some damn fool thing like you did and marry someone from there who'll take her off God knows where... "She always wanted what she thought was best for us, she just...had trouble understanding that other opinions on what that might be could be valid," she put it as diplomatically as she thought she could.

She debated with herself whether to answer the implied accusation in the analysis of choices Marissa had been able to make. "Yes," she said. "Though we really thought you'd more or less consider Giselle something like a sister, she's closer to your age than mine or Papa's...but the way it went...I think it might be why we were always so over-protective of you. I thought I was just feeling guilty about being abroad when Mama died, but I was always afraid I was going to lose you somehow, and I was just...certain that I definitely couldn't be trusted to take care of two children." Which, she supposed, she'd been right about. "That's another thing about making choices, sometimes you don't know what the consequences could be until they're all right on top of you," she concluded.

She frowned slightly in concentration to perform the refilling charm on the mug, and tried to smooth her face back out quickly when Val started trying to say...whatever it was she was trying to say. The remark about 'not sure yet' and the hesitation were some warning, at least, though the exact things Val ended up saying were not things Marissa thought she would have anticipated exactly. Would she have not been surprised, with that little bit of warning, if Val had just said she liked girls? Or was it just...something that was going to register as a bit of a shock in any case?

"Well," she said, after a moment's thought. "That...I'm glad you told me," she said, more or less automatically. Even if she wasn't quite sure how to process something - especially not when they had been discussing how to attract boys just a few minutes earlier - she didn't want Val to think she had to keep the Something a secret. Secrets were the sort of things that could eat away at a family; Marissa often wondered how much having to keep what she was a secret had affected her relationship with her parents, and why things had so often been tense with her mother after she'd grown up. "It does sound like it could get complicated, if you want to date boys and girls both - most people are going to prefer it if you date only one at a time, I think. But like I said before - if marrying another girl someday is what makes you happy, I won't tell you not to do that, as long as she's good to you." Though she had a feeling she was going to have trouble with her father if that happened while he was still alive, somehow. He'd come around, of course, he doted on Val too much, but...well. That wasn't something she particularly wanted to think about, much less bother Val with while she was still uncertain of things. "Or if you're like Aunt Paige and Aunt Giselle, so far, or like Aunt Jhonice, and you decide you don't want to marry at all - I won't say I think it's a good idea to do what Aunt Jhonice is doing, having a baby all on your own, but it's her life and she's got all of us as family to help her. Whatever decisions you make about how to have a family - I can't promise that Papa and I will always think they're good ideas, but we'll always be here for you."

16 Marissa Duell There's always the future to have luck in again. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

August 29, 2021 4:26 PM

The future is vast and uncertain. by Valentine Duell

While listening to Mama, Valentine adopted her rarely used 'defiant' face. "Well, Papa will just have to get used to the idea that if I want a boy in my life, I'm going to get one." She responded resolutely. The expression melted away, back to one of uncertainty, "If I can find one that wants to be with me that is." She sighed, "Asking them would be the easiest way, but then I might force them into saying they didn't want to go with me, or getting them to go just because I asked and not because they really wanted to." She looked resigned, "I'll just have to try dropping the subtle hints and see what happens." She brightened at Mama's suggestion at the dance lessons, "Oh, maybe I could use that? It may show who already has partners and such at least!" Her mind raced, she should probably see if any of the professors could get involved, maybe she could ask Professor Xavier who was the best dancer to help them.

Valentine wasn't quite sure what she could say to Mama's commentary on Grandma. It all sounded so... complicated. But as Mama had said, and she knew, people were complicated. "It sounds like she loved you very much in her own way. But, I am glad that you are better at it than she was. You are a very good Mama, and learned lessons from your Mama. I hope that someday I will just as good."

"I'm sorry." Val apologized, "I didnt' mean...", well she kind of had meant it. "It just would have been nice..." she faulted and sighed again so apologized again. "I'm sorry." Aunt Giselle should have been like a big sister, she had spent time and then lost her like they all had. "Loosing Aunt Giselle," she paused and added in a sterner voice, "Which wasn't your fault," before continuing, "might have made you so protective... could it have made me long for a sibling as well? We were like sisters, I saw it, I brought it back for you. The memory of us playing in the streets of Greece." The memory brought a smile to her face. "Then she was gone. I've got her again now... sort of," The Giselle they had now, wasn't quite the same girl from the memory, but she had grown up just like Val herself was doing. "Do you think there is anything I can do for her?"

For some reason, she wasn't surprised by Mama's initial reaction to her news. Since it didn't seem like her initial worries were going to happen, she allowed herself the small hint of a smile (carefully hidden behind her freshly refilled mug) at Mama's slight floundering. It was mean and terrible, but she couldn't quite help herself. That initial feeling of amusement passed and she took another sip if chocolate before setting the cup down her expression one of relief and mild consternation. "Thank-you Mama. I will always want you here.... and Papa already thinks that dating isn't a good idea. I do want to get married though, I want someone to help me with kids. But, yeah... will anyone want to be with me if..." she waved her hand about in a rather nondescript gesture. "I do love Bonabelle, but for one, we can't make babies together." She once more glanced at the book "Also, she is not one for big parties and events and I like them. I want to be with her, but..." her voice choked up again at the memory of Bonabelle herself asking Val the same question, "I don't know that she is enough." She looked miserably into her chocolate again, getting more had been a good idea. "There are boys that I like, and might enjoy some of those things, but fall short where Bonabelle shines. Do I ignore them both until I find the person that is perfect for me? Does that person exist? Am I being greedy?"

2 Valentine Duell The future is vast and uncertain. 1490 0 5

Marissa Duell

August 31, 2021 9:36 PM

It is indeed. by Marissa Duell

The next few years, Marissa thought, were going to be such fun. On the whole, she thought it would be easier to convince Andrew that being dramatic about Val growing up would just make her want to do so even more than it would be to convince Val to please just put that off as long as her father was still alive, but neither task seemed terribly simple or appealing.

She couldn't help but smile at Val's solemn pronouncements on her grandmother and lessons to be learned. "I'm sure you'll outdo me by a long shot," she said. "A long, long time in the future when you're grown up and I'm old enough to be someone's nana," she added firmly. "I was just trying to figure out how you got to be fourteen, and how I got to be nearly forty, but neither of us is old enough for new roles yet." She did hope that all the premature deaths and other such occurrences in the family history didn't put it into Val's head that everything had to be experienced right now, without a delay or a plan, just in case something horrible happened. It admittedly looked bad that three of Val's grandparents had died sudden, unnatural accidental deaths and that her aunt the Seer was predicting gathering darkness and whatnot, but...sometimes random chance led to random clusters. Marissa refused to believe the family was actually cursed. She knew that kind of thing was possible in theory, probably, but it wasn't why they had had some bad luck. Sometimes, bad luck just...happened.

"But yes - Mama loved me, and she adored you, and we loved her too." It felt a bit odd to inform Val of her own past feelings, but she had been old enough to announce them at the time, just not old enough to remember doing so now. "She had her flaws, the same as everyone else, but she did the best she could with what she had to work with, I think, and I don't know that any of us can really ask much more than that." Marissa would have asked one more thing of her mother - specifically, that she not be so passive-aggressive toward Andrew as she had been - but that was more detail about the past than she really thought Val needed.

"No, no, you didn't do anything," she hurried to reassure her when she stumbled over herself apologizing for the faux pas about being an only child. "You could be right about that, you might have been...reacting, too. It was a whole mess, that whole situation." As for doing anything for Giselle.... "We all had our problems from that situation, but Giselle...I think you're doing about what you can right now already," she said. "Just being yourself."

Marissa gave in to the urge to give Val a sideways hug when she despaired of meeting someone who filled all her requirements in a partner. "I don't think you're being greedy," she said. "I do think you're worrying too much. It's...you can't expect another person to be only and all the things you want. Maybe you'll have friends you go out with, and a spouse you stay home with other times. Or the other way around, even. Or maybe you'll meet someone completely different one day - I know, I know, Papa and I met at school, and a lot of people in magical society do meet their husbands and wives at school," she acknowledged. "But you don't have to worry about who to settle down with at fourteen, baby. My parents didn't meet until they were both almost through medical school. And even if you do marry someone you're at school with now - well, right now isn't the time to stress out too much about it. We might have been in the same year, but Papa and I didn't get married until we were in our twenties," she reminded Val. "Let's worry about your CATS before we worry about who you're least likely to divorce, okay?"

16 Marissa Duell It is indeed. 147 0 5

Valentine Duell

September 01, 2021 8:27 PM

We won't face it alone though. by Valentine Duell

Valentine returned Mama's smile, it felt good to hear that Mama thought she would make a good mother as well. She really hoped Mama was right. However, she did not miss the reinforcing point that Mama was driving home. "I can wait a little longer I suppose." She responded in a playfully begrudging tone. "I've already waited this long after all." She finished the pronouncement with an exaggerated eye-roll, followed by a mirthful giggle. Honestly she was glad that Mama was being insistent, she really didn't want to think about that too much right now, and Mama gave her an excuse not to.

She wished she had gotten to know Nana better... or well, at all. But it sounded like she had been able to make her grandmother happy for a bit and that made her happy. The situation with Aunt Giselle had been a whole mess, Val readily agreed with her mother. But, she still got the feeling nobody had told her the 'whole story' yet. Still, if she was going to be cutting back on clubs, hopefully she would have more time to visit her Aunt again. "I'll do my best." The tricky part at the moment was figuring out just who she was though.

Valentine leaned into Mama's hug, it felt nice. Especially with the accompanying words that relieved her of some of her worry. Granted, those words were then followed by others that made her feel a bit sheepish, so she gave a proper sheepish and slightly embarrassed smile to Mama and tried to hide a little behind her mug as she drank more of her chocolate. Naturally she was right. Mama was usually right. "Okay. It's..." she shrugged, "it's just new and kinda weird, and…" she shrugged again. "I don't know." She gave the book another long look before sighing and facing Mama again. "If I need to grow up, it'd be nice to be there already and have it all figured out." She took another swig from her mug, then stood up and wrapped her arms around Mama. She had a lot to think about, but this all had helped a lot. "Thank-you for everything Mama." Val almost whispered into her ear, "I love you lots."

2 Valentine Duell We won't face it alone though. 1490 0 5