Jessica Hayles
October 03, 2020 6:53 PM
A Thousand Words (technically, 1057) (Felipe, Sadie, German Tent Girls) by Jessica Hayles
One of Jessica’s favorite places on the property was the balcony adjacent to her bedroom. It was tall enough for her to sit in privacy, but open enough for her to see out, to some degree, over the rose garden. There was also a trellis of climbing noisette roses just high enough and just close enough to the balcony for her to pluck a bloom, if she wanted to, and while she was too far away to smell the grape-like scent of the evergreen wisterias beyond, she could see the grand purple show they put on – however briefly, never more than a few weeks, and sometimes as little as a fortnight – clearly. When it was simply too hot to hide under a blanket when she needed some serenity and the swimming pools both felt too exposed, she could retreat to the balcony and feel safe there. If still, this time of year, very hot.It could, sometimes, take a lot of flowers to make up for the heat in Atlanta for the vast majority of the time between May and October. Jessica wasn’t sure if the summers were getting worse or if she had just lost her tolerance for them after spending so much time in a false Ireland, but necklaces and bracelets had been unceremoniously banished from her wardrobe almost as soon as she’d gotten home, and it would take a very formal, very indoor occasion to persuade her to take her hair out of a ponytail. Her pastel yellow sundress was about as light as a garment could be while remaining decent, but she could still feel sweat beading up high on her temples and along the back of her neck within seconds of stepping out of the heavily air-conditioned interior of the house.
Despite this, she still sat down at the little table she had on her balcony and put down her writing paper and favorite pen. She’d buzzed downstairs for a glass of lemonade and ginger ale, and that would be up any moment, and help a lot with the heat while she wrote letters, forcing her brain to write Spanish first, which was always a little more difficult than speaking or even reading it.
Dear Felipe,
How are you? I hope you’re settling in well at home again. I’m glad to be at home now, with my family, even though it is so hot here – though I suppose awful weather is the price we pay for flowers. I’m looking at all ours right now, I’m glad I got here in time to see the wisteria bloom this year. It’s so beautiful, but it doesn’t last long.
Anyway, just touching base – if you need anything, I’m…I guess an owl away, though I could probably get Daddy to loan me the jet in a pinch. You’re always welcome here, too, if you want, or just need to get away, though totally ok if you don’t want to.
Un fuerte abrazo,
Jessica.
She had spent far too much time debating how to end the letter. She had never really felt comfortable with the traditional English sign-offs other than ‘love’, and Spanish had an even wider variety, with even greater degrees of subtle differences in appropriateness. Finally, though, she had decided that in the context of their relationship, whatever the heck it was, ‘a strong hug’ was appropriate, and so she went with that.
Mrs. Hernandez arrived with her drink. She thanked her cook with a smile and took a sip, enjoying the rough bubbles of the ginger ale half, as she switched back to English in her head.
Dear Sadie,
Hey, it’s Jessica. I hope your summer is getting off to a good start! And that it’s okay that I’m mailing this, this way – let me know if it’s not, goodness knows I don’t think my parents are totally used to owls flying around yet, though they’re getting there.
It is all very exciting here! We are launching new products, and at the company they are filming TV commercials – I’m not really involved in any of that, but I’ve been able to go watch a few times, so glamorous. Enclosed is a sample of our new eau de toilette, Miss Arvale – it’s meant for the younger crowd, like a first kind of grown-up perfume that isn’t too old. The atomizer is gorgeous so let me know if you’d like a bottle. The ‘notes’ sound like a super-fancy French dessert, but there’s some other stuff in it that thins it out and keeps it from being too silly, I think – almonds, and something woody, under the lemon-rose-vanilla stuff.
I got you a nice powder compact, too – I know some people say I am just too old-fashioned, but I think every girl ought to have one at least once, just to try it out. I always feel so elegant, popping it open and fixing my lip balm (parents still won’t let me have a real lipstick, so must make do!).
Outside the company, I mostly read and swim, and write a little. It’s relaxing after school always being so busy. The fair was pretty cool after all, to me – I hope you enjoyed it too. Sorry I didn’t catch you before we left school.
Lots of love,
Jessica.
She thought it might all be a bit much, but she had had Sadie on her mind a lot since leaving school; the younger girl had seemed down at the end of the year. Normally, Jessica would have invited her over for a girls’ spa night thing, but the end of the year was so hectic….
Last but not least, she started trying to write quick hey-good-summer notes to the Deutschestent girls, along with more Miss Arvale samples and some lip glosses. ‘Trying’ was the operative word, as her written German – while significantly better than her spoken version – was stilted at best, and though she could think of how to say that she had gone swimming every day and that she enjoyed swimming, her independent study program had been strangely devoid so far of words about cosmetics. She was pretty sure that Hilda and Johana Leonie were going to find her grammar hilarious when she tried to explain what the gifts were, worked out as it was with the help of a dictionary, but it would have to do.
Subthreads: A Picture by Felipe De Matteo with Jessica Hayles
Replying in kind by Sadie-Lake Chalmers with Jessica Hayles
16
Jessica Hayles
A Thousand Words (technically, 1057) (Felipe, Sadie, German Tent Girls)
1442
1
5
Felipe De Matteo
October 03, 2020 10:08 PM
A Picture by Felipe De Matteo
Felipe was younger than most of his class because his birthday was in the summer. For most of his time at Sonora, that hadn't bothered him; it meant he got to spend his birthday at home, with his family and his people. This year, however, his birthday was practically a day of mourning.Leonor spent most of her time either studying or off in town, which was a big improvement and one that made the patriarch and matriarch of the De Matteo family smile at each other with knowing pleasure at their little heiress' success, and Felipe spent most of his time trying to avoid feeling like a leper. He was pretty sure he hadn't caught a plague at any point, but you wouldn't know that from talking to his family.
They had refused summer care from Dr. Greene, who had been generally satisfied enough with Felipe's state of being that she hadn't pushed the matter too much. She had, however, insisted that she be able to correspond some with the family to ensure that certain measures of safety were taken and to make sure they weren't about to push him right back over the edge. Those things had been very amicably agreed to right until the conversation was over, and then Felipe's parents proceeded the way they would have if they had never had that conversation at all. It wasn't as bad as some people's parents would have been, Felipe was aware, and he knew it mostly came from a place of confusion and hurt, but it still sucked. He wasn't sure how to deal with his mom suddenly not wanting to chat with him about his day, or with his dad suddenly not wanting to go on walks, or with his food suddenly being brought to him for most meals instead of him being summoned for meals with the family. He understood; it was easier to act as though he was just very sick or act as if he weren't there at all than it was to act as if what had happened had happened. It made for a terribly un-exciting birthday, and it was the first one he sincerely wished he'd have been able to spend at school.
Most of his time was occupied with exchanging letters with Zara, and they were able to spend some time together, although her parents had more concerns than did his own. And when he received a letter from Jessica, Felipe couldn't help smiling. It was nice to hear from a friend and it was nice to have something new and it was nice just to have something to focus on for a while. It was a kind letter too, if a bit stiff; things were not back to normal, much as they'd predicted they wouldn't be, but they were improving. In this case, her note also made him laugh, because the idea of a jet - a thing he only vaguely knew about anyway - arriving in Ciudad de Matteo to drop off Jessica Hayles was hilarious.
Since she had gone with Spanish, he considered doing the same. However, she'd gone with his language so it only seemed polite to go with hers. Besides, her Spanish was good but his English was better.
Dear Jessica,
I'm glad you were able to see the wisteria. I've spent more time in the gardens this year than I have any other year previously and I still can't say I'm sick of it. I think that I'd enjoy being a botanist or some such if I can pass my exams in the coming years. To make a garden grow, to watch flowers blossom and know you had something to do with it, seems like the best thing. Of course, you like the flowers, and I like the other little shrubberies and grasses and plants. Perhaps a combination is the best for any garden.
It's sweet of you to offer, but I think a jet would probably not be the best choice (that's the large metal flying apparatus that uses combustion to propel itself, correct?) although it would be funny to see Leonor's face when you landed. I'd suggest a dragon might be the most fun, but that's unlikely.
If you'll have me, I'll take a rain check on that hug.
Counting down the days,
Felipe
It was easy to ignore what she was really asking about and to just write back to what he wanted to. That was the nice thing about letters and he thought about it as he addressed the envelope and carried it to the owlery. The owls hooted and nuzzled at him lovingly, recognizing the young man who had once been the young boy who came in just to give them snacks and try to mimic their hooting. He'd been much more carefree then, although he'd still carried the weight of a metaphorical crown. He'd never really been carefree all the way, except when he was with Zara. Caring about her was easy. He wanted to wrap her up and make everything good for her, which was the primary reason he was working so hard on getting better; for her, he wanted to be good. But for Jessica, he wanted to be good in a different way. He wanted to laugh and play and joke and not think about whether or not he was okay or whether or not he needed help. For today, he would be okay. He would have to be okay. And he would keep doing that everyday until he believed it. As he watched a massive barn owl with a perfectly white face carry his letter towards Georgia, he hoped maybe that would happen sooner rather than later.
22
Felipe De Matteo
A Picture
1434
0
5
Sadie-Lake Chalmers
October 06, 2020 2:49 AM
Replying in kind by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
’There was a Buzzfeed article about you!These were the words that had kicked off Sadie’s summer, and it had been a non-stop whirlwind of ridiculousness ever since. She had searched for and seen the article itself, though the peak of interest in it had been during the middle of term, and it had really only been in their circle. It was titled ‘Is Sadie-Lake Dead or in Care?’ She had a lot less sympathy over it than she thought her mother was expecting, although she had of course kept those opinions to herself whilst agreeing how awful it was.
Insta was fake. Everyone knew that. The filters, the careful curation. Even #IWokeUpLikeThis selfies were carefully selected from your good days with flattering lighting and angles. But if you faked things big time, you got caught. You couldn’t like… take artsy close ups of some mosaic lamps and say you were in… um… wherever those came from. That was cheating, and would get you shamed. So really, what had her mom expected when she had faked Sadie’s presence in their lives? She could argue that it was different for them, that Sadie’s situation had forced her in a way that no one else had to deal with and no one else could understand but Sadie didn’t think she’d had to do that. She had written her out of the story after all, as an ‘off camera kid.’ Maybe she’d just been naive in thinking that meant her mom would stop talking about her. Maybe she should have seen the signs… It wasn’t like she hadn’t noticed her mom photographing their hot-chocolates, or doing a million different braids on her in the holidays, taking artsy close-ups or back-of-the-head shots. She knew her mom, and that any photos she was taking weren’t out of sentimentality. What she hadn’t realised was that it was more than the occasional snapshot when she was in their lives. Mom was building up a library to drip feed when she wasn’t around. She could keep up the still lifes too, even without her there…
But the Internet had got wise. Always the same angles. How come we never see her face? How do we even know it’s her? Even if she’s being off camera, is there that same little nick in her nail bed on two shots that were allegedly weeks apart? And the comments from businesses patronised by her mom - I used to see them out together all the time, now Sadie-Lake’s never with her. Nothing Jenna-Lee could post could prove that her daughter was physically present in her life, when after all, she wasn’t.
And so it had been snap, snap, snap since she had got back. Out in public. At events that were happening here and now. Sadie was pretty sure she wasn’t trending, that her re-appearance wasn’t a significant enough online event to make waves, but in their own little sphere, her face was everywhere again - big bright smile and nicely posed. She had grown up and changed since her last appearances, and there was already a conspiracy video that she’d been replaced by an actress but it had lower numbers than they did - just some nut trying to get attention off the back of a luke-warm topic.
Still, it was a lot. When an owl fluttered in through her window, it was like a sigh of relief. Sometimes, in the technology-dense world of #SoCalVibes, Sonora felt like something she had made up. It seemed impossible that people moved as slowly as they did there. Of course, some insta looks took hours to create and curate, but the sweet old-fashioned things like putting pen to paper in order to communicate started seeming impossible as her mom’s phone buzzed with almost real-time reactions to her latest #MommyDaughterTime post.
She carefully unrolled the letter and unpackaged the small parcel, taking time to drink in every solid detail, from the thickness of the paper with its pretty pink border, to the weight of the compact in her hand. She spritzed a tiny puff of perfume onto her wrists and lay back, eyes closed inhaling. It could have smelt of anything, and she would have thought it was perfect, because it smelt like Jessica-world, not this one.
It took her a few days to compose a reply. Her first impulses were to feel inadequate - did she have good enough stationery? Did she have anything to offer in return? She was anxious on both of those counts that she couldn’t live up to what Jessica was, or what she was expecting, but she tried to tell herself that Jessica had chosen to write to her, had chosen to include her, and had never demanded more back than Sadie had to offer when they were hanging out. The one thing that had crossed her mind was the bookmarks she’d made for the fair, but she supposed that if Jessica wanted one of those she could have got one then. Still, that had spurred her on to look up flower projects and to dig the press back out of her suitcase. She was still wondering where and how to get the flowers. There were plenty around when she was with her mom, of course, but she didn’t want her to know about this. This was going to be Sadie’s thing, part of her Sonora world, not to be plastered all over Insta for likes and approval from strangers.
So, for now, what Jessica got was just a letter in reply. Sadie had gone through a few different keyword combinations in google before she had found some writing paper customisation ideas - so many places wanted to offer to print it for you which was not what she was going for. The blog she’d eventually stumbled on was written by someone called Jess, which felt like a good omen, along with the fact that she had a pet bunny. A lot of her style really didn’t seem to gel with Sadie and Jessica’s but the ombre paper she’d posted about actually seemed really nice and on trend. Sadie had then googled again for a better version, because blog Jess’s looked a little…. #Rustic. She was pretty pleased with the nicely gradiented (was that a word?) pink paper, even if it had the slightly crispy feeling of something that had been wetted and left to dry, like the times they’d done tea-stained paper for history projects.
Dear Jessica,
Thanks for writing. Owl post is definitely okay. I’m not sure my parents are totally on board with it either - but you’re my friend and you’re writing to me not them - but I like it. It feels like like I’m still doing something magical even if I can’t use my wand during vacation time.
Thank you so much for the gifts. They’re so beautiful! I totally agree about the powder compact. I’ve been watching some tutorials on how to use it right, which feels totally weird cos youtube feels so modern and like you said this is really old fashioned. There’s some super cool vintage beauty vloggers out there though. I even found one called Jessica! - though she’s British and gay, so maybe not super like you… And maybe pointing out how her friend had a really common name wasn’t the most flattering tactic? Not that Sadie thought there was anything wrong with a nice, normal name. Still, she decided not to expand any further on that comment.
Your summer sounds lovely. I definitely think watching from the sidelines would be the best place to be with the commercials.
I had a good time with the fair, and I’m actually thinking of doing some more crafting this summer. I got a little bit into it for Mab’s stall, and now that I’m back, I’ve been able to look up some other projects that I could do with pressed flowers. I think they’re really pretty, and I like that it feels cute and old-fashioned. It feels like it goes with the Sonora aesthetic, you know? Like, maybe I’m not one to judge what’s “witchy” but it’s for sure something I can carry on at school. But then, like, also there’s so many helpful Pinterest boards for it and people going all #Cottagecore - it looked so weird to see a hashtag written out in ink on paper that I guess it sort of belongs to this world too. That feels less important than before though. I’d be happy just doing this for me. And for you too, of course. I’m not sure how well any of the ideas will go, or how well they’ll travel but I’ll try to send you something or bring it back to school. If you have any requests for particular scent groups or flowers, let me know.
It was really nice to hear from you.
Lots of love,
Sadie.
She carefully folded the letter, trying to work out how and when she’d get to an owl office to send it. She’d had the compact and the Miss Arvale sample out for inspiration whilst she wrote, but now she slid them back under her pillow, hoping to keep them private, and part of the world her mom didn’t occupy.
13
Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Replying in kind
1480
0
5
Jessica Hayles
October 07, 2020 3:49 PM
Multiple Pictures (plus a doodle) by Jessica Hayles
Jessica tried not to consciously think about it in the days between when she sent her letter to Felipe and when he replied, but she couldn’t deny a flash of relief when she recognized the handwriting on a letter she received as his. He had seemed to be doing…okay, by the end of the year, but how was one to be sure? How could she know that something wouldn’t happen that would tip him back into bad shape?The answer, of course, was that she couldn’t. This, like almost everything else in the world, was outside her sphere of control. She did not like how many things were not within her ability to even influence, much less actively control. It would be so much better if she could just wave her wand and….
Well, she couldn’t, so there was no reason to think about it. Instead, she opened the letter and read it before getting supplies to reply with. The words came more smoothly this time, both from the relief that he was, well, alive, and the relief that she was not overstepping some invisible line that hadn’t broken back down yet by communicating over the summer at all.
Dear Felipe,
I agree that gardens do best with a mix of plants. Some can be very beautiful in their own way without flowers. I love the old trees here in Atlanta – the city was almost built around them; we have way more trees than most major cities in this country – and the places where you see rosemary shrubs, and fern-beds and things. Though mostly our garden is roses, because as noted before, my father is a dork. I’ll try to take some pictures, though fair warning, I never took any classes in photography, so I don’t know how good they’ll be. I’ll look up some tutorials first.
You’ve got the gist of what a jet is, yeah. I’ll look for a picture of that too, I think there might be one on the website somewhere. We’d probably have to land it at the nearest airstrip and then hire someone local to drive us most of the way (since I’m pretty sure neither Daddy nor Robert is allowed to drive in Mexico). A dragon might be fun, if I could be temporarily fireproof, and would definitely put some looks on faces, but I don’t think I’m going to have luck finding one (or becoming fireproof). Do we even have dragons in the Americas? Have you ever seen a dragon anywhere in real life?
Rain check formally issued. (Jessica took a moment to doodle the basic lines of a check on another bit of paper, then filled it out with details appropriate to the joke.) Looking forward to it.
Jessica.
16
Jessica Hayles
Multiple Pictures (plus a doodle)
1442
0
5
Jessica Hayles
October 20, 2020 9:19 PM
We could always do with more kindness in the world. by Jessica Hayles
There was a bird on the table.Rosalie Hayles tried to ignore this. Tried not to tense up in her chair and recoil from the table. Tried not to cringe when it shifted its scaly feet across her smooth, clean tablecloth. Tried not to have a heart attack and die when Jessica offered the thing food and a very large-looking predatory bird put its beak near her fingers in order to accept the gift. Tried not to show that she still, even after all this time, regarded all this as utterly unnatural and unwelcome behavior. Based on the look on Carmela's face on the other side of the table, though, after the bird finally flew away, Ros wasn't sure how successful she had been at any of those tasks.
"You've been getting a lot more letters this summer," she observed as Jessica, without opening her mail, went back to her breakfast. "Mel was just telling me that Mara's been getting books, too - even some she didn't order herself. At this rate, you girls are going to get the Audubon Society snooping around here trying to figure out what's going on."
"I wouldn't worry too much about it," said Jessica calmly. "We're a long way from the main road down here, and I don't think any of the security guys are going to rat us out to the Audubon Society." Jessica picked up a piece of scrambled egg on her fork, frowned slightly, and looked between her mother and her. father's other partner. "Would they? Now I'm going to imagine Bruno going to meetings of the Audubon Society...."
Laughter rippled around the table. Bruno was, Ros thought, a good man, in his way. He would endanger himself to protect Ros or Jessica without a second thought, and was the person who had filled much of the role of giving Jessica piggyback rides when she had been little and Arthur had had nothing like the kind of time on his hands which small children liked to demand of adults. He was also six-two, bald, had somehow managed to obtain a strikingly stereotypical facial scar along the way, and had been known to bodily remove people from the property on his own, without recourse to his small fleet of subordinates, when necessary. It was not impossible to picture Bruno wandering in the woods with a pair of binoculars, philosophizing about the meaning of the humble wren, but....
"Who's writing you so much?" she tried again.
"Hm? Oh. Just friends from school," said Jessica. "I think this is from Sadie - she's in Mara's class, but she's in the same dorm building as me. She's super-sweet, but she's also really, really shy and stuff, so I invite her over for girls' nights and stuff every now and then, we have fun."
"You have a sleepover!" exclaimed Lola, dropping her fork. Ros smiled automatically at Lola, as did almost everyone who looked at the child.
Ros had never really managed to feel as she thought she should have about Mara. Aside from the strangeness of the situation at the time, there had also just been...Mara. Being Mara. She had always been a funny child, Ros thought: half the time quiet, watchful, taking in everything with those big dark eyes and returning nothing until she was ready to do so, at which point she would try to argue her point to the last like a man, rather than even approaching being difficult in the way Ros expected a girl-child to do. Mara had also, from a very early point, always had a knack for picking up on what Ros least wanted her to, and for asking all the wrong questions, and giving everyone all the wrong looks when they tried to save the situation, as though she knew they were lying....
Little things, of course, and things had gone along as well as they reasonably could, but Ros had been apprehensive nevertheless when Lola had been born. That, however, had not lasted long. She thought Lola must have very nearly been born smiling, and was so charming that it was difficult to keep a straight face even when one was trying to correct her. Lola was the first thing Ros had ever envied Mel for having in all their years of sharing a man.
Jessica smiled too at her little sister. "Not quite, Lo-lo," she said. "I don't know if the school would like us staying in rooms that aren't ours all night. But we hang out and do things like you do at a sleepover for a while."
Lola thought about this for a moment. "I have a sleepover," she said. "I have it with Rosy and my mama, and we watched the princess - "
Jessica gave Ros an odd, fleeting look. Mara openly stared at her. Ros wished to do some of their magic to vanish through the floor, silently cursing Arthur for not being present today. It was easier somehow to deal with the children when he was about, even though he'd hardly ever had her back - he spoiled all three of them unreasonably. Still, though, somehow it was easier.
She wasn't quite sure, in retrospect, how Lola had gotten started calling her 'Rosy' - or, for that matter, how Mara had defaulted to 'Mrs. H.' It wasn't, she thought, as if she had told the older girl to treat her semi-formally. Surely Mara hadn't actually called her that when she'd been Lola's age, had she? It must have been something else, and then got changed later, for...one reason or another...
"That one's my favorite too," said Jessica, having apparently figured out which movie Lola was describing. "Tell you what, why don't you and me and Mara have our own sleepover and watch it again? And we can paint our nails, and make popcorn - "
"And ice cream!" exclaimed Lola.
"Maaaybe a little ice cream, if you can talk them into it," said Jessica with a nod toward their mothers. She looked up with a grin before Lola could begin excitedly jabbering about why she should be allowed ice cream. "May I be excused?" she asked politely. "I'm done eating."
Ros didn't want to let her go. She still wanted to know what these letters were about, who all they were from, what their contents were, why Jessica wasn't heeding the obvious hints from her that none of them were welcome. If Arthur had been home, she thought she would have stopped Jessica and tried for answers. But instead, she just nodded. "Of course."
"Never here when you need him," said Carmela later, after all the children were distracted. "If that's not a man for you."
"Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em," muttered Ros.
"Well, you can, but it's a waste of money, buying off the judges after and all," said Carmela sensibly, making Ros laugh despite herself.
Jessica waited until she was upstairs to open the letter, then waited a moment longer, deliberating with herself, before abruptly turning the lock on her door. She didn't really think anyone would bardge in on her, but....
Her mother couldn't have actually wanted to read her mail, she thought. She was being paranoid there. Or just wanting attention or something. Why would her mother care? Putting the thought aside, she opened Sadie's letter and grinned at the contents before starting to write back.
Hey! I'm so glad you wrote back to me. Love the stationery, by the way - is it handmade? Very cool.
I'm glad you didn't think the compact was too silly - I just think they're cool. One of the first things I can remember was kind of embarrassing my mom when we were at some show to honor the company's hundredth anniversary - Great-Grandmother had this whole collection of compacts and lipstick cases, and I just kind of shrieked about how pretty they were. I'll have to try to find this other Jessica online when I have computer time (my parents still only let me have so much computer time, even though I don't have a lot of extracurriculars or homework or things to do like I used to - parents. So stuck in their ways sometimes).
That's super-cool about the crafting! I'm sure you'll make some really pretty stuff. I've been just appreciating the flowers here a lot this summer - we have a really pretty rose garden right here on the property (my mom's name is Rosalie, and my middle name's Rose, so...one of the more expensive dad jokes in this area I guess), and I go have lunch at the botanical gardens a lot since I don't have much else to do, and even just being out, you see so much prettiness in the world, and some of it we put there, but some of it is just - there. It just exists on its own terms, sometimes even where we didn't want it.
(Sorry - too much poetry writing. That and swimming are my life right now, it is too hot to live this summer.)
I'm really curious to see what you come up with! Plus if you keep it up any at school, who knows what kind of cool stuff you might do with magic flowers as well as regular ones. I'll send you anything I run across that looks inspiring.
xx, Jessica.
16
Jessica Hayles
We could always do with more kindness in the world.
1442
Jessica Hayles
0
5