Evelyn Stones
September 01, 2020 8:09 PM
Don't say sorry. [Sadie] by Evelyn Stones
It had actually ended up being a few days since Evelyn had interacted with Jack-Jack, but she'd spent that time planning. And making sure she was right. She thought that maybe 'sowwy' could be 'Sadie' and 'ooseless' could be . . . nothing. There wasn't a lot else it could be. That being said, she didn't want to upset Sadie, particularly since the girl likely presumed (and rightfully so in most situations) that her conversations with the jackelope were private. Evelyn hadn't meant to find things out about her. She'd debated whether she should just pick up a strand of friendship and tie them together with it without saying anything about what Jack-Jack said, but she decided that was weird. Why would Sadie want to have anything to do with Evelyn just for fun? There was a fairly significant age gap and they didn't really know each other at all as it was. They weren't in the same House, they didn't have the same friends, there wasn't any good reason for Evelyn to suddenly be invested in Sadie. Except, of course, that she was.Inevitably, she'd also noticed the girl much more in the past few days. She seemed forlorn and alone, but perhaps Evelyn was projecting. She wondered a bit whether Sadie would be interested in DnD, but wasn't sure that inviting her to a group of mostly older students playing a game she lily didn't know we be the best way to make her feel seen and cared about. Another part of it was that Evelyn wasn't sure that was where she was going to be able to connect best with her. She had her own friends at DnD and she wanted to cherish that time with them, especially since Gary and Parker were graduating soon.
Professor Wright's lessons, both the explicit and implicit, went through her head frequently as she considered all of these things. She knew the feeling of being useless all too well, although she hoped it was for different reasons, and she wanted to make sure that Sadie understand that was definitely not the case. If it was school, Evelyn could try to help. If it was friends, Evelyn could definitely help. If it was family, Evelyn could at least listen. Whatever it was, Evelyn had to try. She wanted more and more to be there for people who didn't have anyone else there for them, and while she wasn't sure that was the case for Sadie, it seemed like a safe bet for a girl who seemed to be confiding the most in a jackelope.
Finally, Evelyn took a seat at the Crotalus table. It was a little weird, as the only Crotalus she really knew well was Connor, and he was graduated. Also, she hadn't really known him well. She supposed there were others, but she generally didn't sit anywhere but her own table or Aladren. Probably Aladren more than her own table, actually. She'd talked to Ness and Heinrich both about the situation, not using specific names or details so as to protect Sadie's privacy, and come to the conclusion that the best thing she could do was not to fix whatever was wrong, but to be there for her if she wanted someone to lean on. Perhaps her ambitions were too lofty, but she liked to think she could help. There was, of course, the chance that Sadie was going to yell at her and tell her to shove off. That would be awkward. It would also probably clue Ness and Heinrich into who she had been talking about; her socialisation with a random other person wouldn't probably, as she was pretty prone to socialising a bit all over the place.
Sadie was already sitting there, beginning to dig into her lunch, and Evelyn sat across from her. "Hiya," she said with an easy smile. At least these sorts of impromptu moments of small talk were easy. It was getting into it that was harder. Noticing a veggie tray nearby, she pointed at the carrots. "Your jackelope calls those 'krats'," she said, confident that most people knew she worked with Professor Marsh, before switching to a lower voice. "And he calls you 'I'm sorry, I'm useless'." She dished food onto her plate at random. "I thought about why he might do that, who might have taught him that, and I thought that maybe you could use a friend."
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Evelyn Stones
Don't say sorry. [Sadie]
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
September 02, 2020 7:51 AM
... by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Sadie didn't think much of it when Evelyn made her way over to Crotalus table. She hadn't made a full inventory of who Evelyn's friends were but there were a lot of them. She continued eating her grilled chicken salad, but looked up in sharp surprise when Evelyn said 'hello' to her. She glanced over both shoulders, scanning the immediate environment for anyone else she might be talking to."Hi," she replied quietly, wondering whether she was about to be in trouble for something. She was not aware of having done anything wrong but Evelyn was a prefect, and had no other real reason to talk to her. Except, apparently, she did. She wanted to talk about Jack-Jack.
"Yeah, he does," she confirmed cautiously when Evelyn mentioned how he said 'carrot.' His pronunciation wasn't great but that had been his first recognisable word, and Sadie had been so proud of him. She petted him and fussed him and rewarded him with carrots whenever he said it because it was clear he was trying, and she didn't have the heart to make him feel like he wasn't doing a good job. She would have been the first to say that her bunny raising skills weren't up to scratch but she felt defensive on Jack-Jack's behalf if Evelyn wanted to criticise him for it. Sadie really hoped that she had the nerve to stand up to Evelyn if she was mean about Jack-Jack. He was a good little fluffer who was just trying his best! She wasn't sure whether that was the older girl's intention though, so she waited to see what else she said.
Sadie's mouth fell open at the next remark. Last time she had seen Jack-Jack he hadn't been calling her anything. He made some of the same noises each time, but no recognisable attempt at her name. And, if Evelyn was right, he apparently didn't want to. However low an opinion you had of youself, it was never nice hearing someone else confirm it. Especially someone you had regarded as a friend and were doing your best for... Even if that 'someone' was a jackelbunny. Maybe especially then. She had poured so much time and so much love into Jack-Jack. And she had really started to think she was doing a good job, or that he was at least pleased to see her. All the little things, like the way he patted her with his paws, or how he hid his head in the crook of her arm... Had she been totally wrong about what those meant? Maybe he was just trying to tell her to go away, or to ignore the fact she was there.
Evelyn started asking about who Jack-Jack might have heard that from, and whether Sadie needed a friend. Oh. She thought maybe one of Sadie's classmates had taught him to say mean things? It made the paranoid notion flash through her mind but she dismissed it. She didn't really have an antagonistic relationship with anyone. She didn't really have relationships with anyone. For them to have gone out of their way to be mean, they would have had to have noticed she existed in the first place. She briefly wondered whether Professor Marsh would have said it about her, maybe to other teachers. Maybe. But he seemed too nice. Which left one possibility.
"No," she shook her head, looking down into her salad to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I guess that's just what he thinks," she stated, her voice cracking.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
...
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Evelyn Stones
September 03, 2020 12:08 PM
Don't say you're useless. by Evelyn Stones
Evelyn's eyes widened in horror at the misunderstanding and she nearly choked on the food she'd just begun to dig into herself. "No--" she spluttered, coughing to clear her throat. She took a drink of water and blinked to clear her eyes. "No," she said finally when she was able to speak properly. "He doesn't think that," she promised. "He kept asking for you. My theory was that he calls you that because that's what you say to him. Like the worst dad joke over, 'Hi, hungry, I'm sorry'." She cocked her head, concerned on a number of levels now. If she was wrong, either in her interpretation of Jack-Jack's comment or in her suspicions of who taught it to him, this would be awkward. If it was the latter, she was fully prepared to start raining fire upon a bully in the name of prefectdom. "Do you say that to him?" she asked. Although she was blunt, she kept her tone kind.She took a breath. This was going so much worse than she had thought it might. Which like . . . made sense. This was a weird conversation to have with anyone. Whatever the truth was about where Jack-Jack had learned these things, there was no denying that Sadie's response had been one born entirely of waiting to hear those things. She already believed them, or else she would have been angry or laughed or had some sort of response other than resignation. "I haven't been able to do hardly any magic until like . . . the last year," she admitted. "And I've had some stuff going on at home that has made things hard for me at school and with friends. I felt super alone for a long time, and I was worried that maybe you did too. If I'm wrong, I can go," she added, not wanting to impose. "But I don't think I'm wrong. And I don't want you to tell me to go away if you actually do need a friend. I make for a pretty good friend, I think," she added for levity.
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Evelyn Stones
Don't say you're useless.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
September 04, 2020 7:43 AM
*goldfishes* by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
It took Sadie a minute to figure out what Evelyn was saying. The idea of it being a joke was confusing at first, because none of this was funny, and then she asked whether she said those things to Jack-Jack and Sadie wanted to say that of course she hadn’t called Jack-Jack sorry or useless, but then the penny dropped.You are Jack-Jack. Jack-Jack. Can you say it? and then a beat of silence, where he would wiffle his nose or snuffle into her elbow, or make whatever noise he could, and she would love him and adore him but have no idea how to make it any easier for him to get his words out. Sorry, I’m useless.
Which, if he was saying that, sort of proved her own point about herself. How had she been so much of an idiot that she hadn’t realised what she was teaching him?
“I might have said that… a couple of times,” she admitted to her salad.
Evelyn went on to talk about not being able to do magic and her own awkward home life, and Sadie felt her stomach tightening. She was actually doing okay with spells, she thought? When she didn’t mess the words up. She wouldn’t say she could hardly do magic at all, she just found most of school kind of tough, and – with hard work and effort – could make herself steadily average. Home was… not something she wanted to get into. Both because it was embarrassing and because she also knew that other people had it a lot worse than she did. Possibly including the one in front of her who was now trying to sympathise with her over that. She wasn’t sure how to avoid accepting what Evelyn was saying like she could relate to it whilst also not insulting or embarrassing her for having those things going on in her life. But she had been specifically told not to lie or tell her to go away.
“You’re a fifth year,” she pointed out instead, perplexed at why Evelyn was offering to be her friend in general, but that seemed like the most concrete thing she could latch onto.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
*goldfishes*
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Evelyn Stones
September 04, 2020 7:19 PM
Like the cracker? by Evelyn Stones
"You're not useless," Evelyn said firmly. She didn't need to know Sadie to know that was true because as far as she knew, there weren't any useless people. Useless parents abounded but useless people? Not even useless parents could check that box. Besides, Evelyn knew enough about Sadie from being at the same small school that she knew the girl wasn't useless. And she'd gotten her jackelope to have an almost intelligible conversation, or at least make words. That was a feat in and of itself.She blinked in confusion when Sadie's response was to point out their age gap. Or grade gap, as the case may be. Did that matter? Did Sadie not want Evelyn to be her friend because she thought she was too old and she didn't want to spend time around her? Or be seen with her? That didn't bode well for ever helping other youth if she was just a few months shy from the legal age of majority. Maybe Sadie was just confused why a fifth year would take an interest in being her friend? But Evelyn thought she'd made that clear.
"Yes," she agreed slowly, not sure if she was being asked to leave. Perhaps the girl just didn't see her as a peer? That made a little more sense but still sucked. "I'm kinda small though, I could probably pass for a second year if I wanted," she said lightly, hoping a joke would make this less awkward. It rarely worked but missing shots you don't take and all that. "I'm friends with Morgan," Evelyn remembered, brightening. "She's in your year. Do you . . . not want to be friends? I can leave you alone."
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Evelyn Stones
Like the cracker?
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
September 05, 2020 1:28 AM
Um, not exactly? by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Sadie opened her mouth and then closed it again when Evelyn said she wasn't useless. She couldn't exactly say 'I know' even though her default was to agree with the person in front of her. She definitely couldn't disagree though."Thanks," she managed weakly.
Evelyn was talking about passing for a second year, which was silly because she was a prefect ans everyone knew everyone here, at least enough to.know what class they were in. Admittedly, if it hadn't been for the badge on the other girl's robes, Sadie might have assumed she was younger. Maybe a fourth year, seeing as she had never been in Sadie's class. Jessica was that age, and she tolerated Sadie's company. Evelyn was also friends with Morgan, apparently. Sadie knew they were on the Quidditch team together, and a bunch of the players seemed to hang out in the library together sometimes. She was a little bit surprised to hear Evelyn call it a 'friendship' though, rather than just regarding Morgan as a teammate.
"Oh, no - I didn't mean to sound ungrateful," she stated anxiously, when Evelyn seemed to feel rejected. "I'm sorry." Evelyn was definitely a little strange. This whole interaction was a little strange. But who didn't want a friend? Especially when it was so easily offered? All she had to say was 'yes' - 'yes, I want a friend,' or 'it is difficult for me' or any combination of those things. Evelyn had laid the way right open for her, after all. Why was it still so difficult when all that had already been done?
"It's nice of you to check in on me," she offered, "Thanks. You're a good prefect."
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Um, not exactly?
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Evelyn Stones
September 10, 2020 4:13 PM
That's fine then too. by Evelyn Stones
Why was this so hard? Evelyn resisted the urge to look around for Heinrich or Ness or Nathaniel or Gary or Allegra or literally any other prefect who would be undoubtedly better at this than she was. Nathaniel made it seem so easy to connect with a younger student in need and Heinrich was literally nice to everyone all the time. Ness was strong and brave and Gary was one of the easiest people to talk to ever. Evelyn was mostly just awkward.She thought that perhaps she owed a lot of people apologies. People like Kir had spent a lot of time checking in with her - a younger person - and they never seemed to feel as awkward as Evelyn did now. She wished she could channel a little of that, but the age gap between herself and Sadie didn't feel as significant somehow. She supposed Kir wasn't that much older, but he seemed older. In any case, Kir was her big brother in a way, not her friend in the same way she was offering Sadie.
"No, hey, it's fine," Evelyn smiled, pretty sure she was making everything worse. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to be my friend just because I walked over here to talk to you. Like, it's non-obligatory for sure."
Sadie was thanking her. That was . . . a step in the right direction? Maybe? Or a step back towards the role of prefect and away from friend. Maybe friend wasn't what Sadie wanted then? Or maybe she just had to start acting like Sadie's friend and not push the check yes or no angle. She forced herself to relax - which was a bit paradoxical and she thought she maybe sort of understand Professor Wright a bit more now too - and took a bite.
"Jack-Jack is doing really well," she said, figuring it was a topic they at least both knew something about. "You're doing really good with him."
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Evelyn Stones
That's fine then too.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
September 13, 2020 5:37 AM
Are you sure? by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Sadie did not have to be Evelyn's friend? She was pretty.sure that was not the way round this went - that she was not the one who was supposed to be choosing whether someone like Evelyn gave her the time of day or not. It was all really weird, but the last thing she wanted was to make Evelyn feel like she didn't want to be her friend. Sadie would have liked to be friends with all the bright, sparkly people. Or the quiet ones like herself. It was just so hard. Mab and Alexander were seemingly in the same boat as her, where they didn't warm up to other people very fast, which meant that they hadn't got very close to her, or her to them. They seemed to have managed it with each other though, unless she was just reading her own envious interpretation into how they were with each other. Their silence with each other seemed comfortable and relaxed somehow - like they were on the same page without having to say so, rather than being quiet because they didn't know what to say. And then with the chatty people like Valentine,.it was easy enough to let them be bubbly and fill the silences. The trouble was, by the time Sadie unstuck her tongue and started knowing how to reach out and accept it, they would probably have moved on to happier, chattier people who had reciprocated right away. Evelyn was something else entirely. She was point blank asking to be friends and Sadie still didn't know what to do with it. All of which pointed to her being the problem.Evelyn switched after that, clearly recognising that she was onto a non-starter, and went back to talking about Jack-Jack. What Evelyn said surprised her. After all, she had already observed that Sadie had taught him her own name disastrously badly, and that his pronunciation wasn't too hot on the words he did know. Still, she uncurled a little at Evelyn's words, sitting just a fraction straighter. It was very hard to believe Evelyn, but it was so lovely to hear it all the same. And for all that she didn't believe in herself, she believed in Jack-Jack - he was a good jackelbunny, and she wanted other people to see that.
"Really?" she asked, even though she probably wasn't going to believe the confirmation any more readily than she'd believed the original statement. "I've been trying really hard," she admitted. It wasn't normally something she would have admitted to. Trying too hard was like... a capital sin anywhere, and definitely in the online world, which was ridiculous given how very hard everyone tried in order to post their staged glimpses into daily life. Everyone knew everyone tried hard, but you never said it, and you called other people out when they reeked too badly of it. There was also a difference, when it came to school work, between trying hard and succeeding, and it was sort of pathetic how much she was doing of the former if she really wasn't getting the latter. But she thought that, even if Evelyn didn't mean it about her doing well, she might be the kind who gave points for effort. She seemed nice, after all.
"You must be good with them too," she added, not sure someone like Evelyn really needed compliments from someone like her, but it felt rude not to return the favour. "With all the animals, to help Professor Marsh out," she offered tentatively.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Are you sure?
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Evelyn Stones
September 14, 2020 12:17 PM
Absolutely. by Evelyn Stones
"Really," Evelyn beamed, happy to have found something - or gone back to something - that seemed more comfortable for Sadie. Plus it was easy to compliment Jack-Jack as it was about the only real thing Evelyn knew about Sadie's life, so that was helpful. "I can tell," she added of Sadie's efforts, wanting to make sure the girl knew it was her doing and not just the nature of jackelopes. "He's so friendly and happy, it's easy to see that someone loves him a whole lot.Her smile became a bit more demure when Sadie returned the compliment. It was still so odd to her to receive compliments from people she didn't know well. She wasn't ever sure if that made them feel more sincere because the person had no real investment in being nice, or whether that made them feel less sincere because the person had no real investment in being nice. Either way, they did feel good at least. "Thanks," she said. "I definitely try to be. I don't get to spend that much time with any one animal though, so it's sort of hard to build a good relationship with them. I mostly clean pens and stuff." She wrinkled her nose. There was magic to be used for such things but there were also times that good manual labor had its place, and there were pros and cons to each approach. "Do you think you'll want to be his assistant when you're an intermediate student?" Evelyn asked.
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Evelyn Stones
Absolutely.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
September 16, 2020 7:39 AM
Oh. Okay then. by Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Jack-Jack? Sadie almost asked it out loud in disbelief, wondering whether Evelyn had got the wrong bunny. However, everything else she had said pointed to her knowing exactly who she was talking about. And she was right about the last thing she'd said - someone did love him lots and lots and lots. It was amazing to think that might be having such a positive effect, although she wondered whether Jack-Jack's reported demeanour also had a lot to do with Evelyn herself. Maybe... But she knew the way Jack-Jack nuzzled into her for protection when he didn't want to talk in front of the group, and how he kept his head up and accepted her nose boops - and yes, her apologies - when it was just the two of them. That wasn't because of Evelyn."He's shy with most people," she informed the older girl. "I like to think he's happy," she added softly, smiling at the thought that someone else saw it too, "He's better when the whole class isn't there."
She found herself relaxing, mostly because talking about Jack-Jack was easy, but also because she trusted that Jack-Jack wasn't wrong if he thought someone was good. She initially had felt reassured that she should trust Evelyn when she thought that, but then she realised it might mean she should trust herself too. If Jack-Jack had good taste, and he liked her... Had she accidentally just forced herself to conclude that she must be alright?
"Um, maybe?" she said, when Evelyn asked about volunteering next year. She hadn't really thought about it, and it felt like something for older, more responsible students, not the pretender she would be next year. It was still so weird to think of having classes with people so much older than her. Evelyn was not exactly selling it as a glamorous role, and Sadie definitely preferred the snugglier side of looking after the animals to the poop-scooping side. She also thought she might see how Professor Marsh rated her care of Jack-Jack before she volunteered herself. "What else does the job involve?" she asked.
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Sadie-Lake Chalmers
Oh. Okay then.
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