I hate that this keeps happening. [Heinrich] on Labyrinth Gardens

Evelyn Stones

August 10, 2020 11:50 AM

I hate that this keeps happening. [Heinrich] by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn had talked to Professor Wright and Evelyn had talked to Ness and Evelyn had done everything she could to pretend that she wasn't going to have to tell Heinrich. She knew that wasn't true, and she wouldn't really even want it to be true (failure to tell your significant other about the passing of your father didn't seem like it boded well for the relationship's success) but it still sucked. They had had such a lovely date and Evelyn wanted it to be easy like that all the time. In some ways, she supposed, it might actually be easier after this. There was no longer any question of whether CJ would stay with her father and the pressure to find a school or a job or both and a house and a life was not so high. The McLeods, she was sure, would be happy to help as long as Evelyn needed help. Which, at this rate, was going to be forever.

After talking with Ness in the library, Evelyn was feeling stuffed up indoors and had wanted to get out. She'd been lucky to run into Heinrich on her way and had asked him to join her. "I've gotten a letter I need to tell you about," she said plainly, grimacing some as they made their way outside. It was a lovely day, which felt inappropriate.

She felt a little bad for giving Heinrich such a cliffhanger of a comment, but then that made her feel bad for thinking that. What, was this some let down? Was she thinking he'd be surprised that it wasn't such a big deal, what she had to say? But it was a big deal, wasn't it? The feeling of deflation hadn't left Evelyn and she wondered whether that would wear off, as Professor Wright had said, and whether anger or sadness would kick in at any moment. Sure, they'd come in spurts, but nothing so solid as to give her more than a moment of blurry vision or her one violent outburst of accidental magic in Professor Wright's office.

Evelyn remained open to small talk as they walked, making sure they were far enough away from the front doors so as to probably not be overheard before she finally opened up about what had happened. The momentum they had whilst walking was nice, so she kept that going as she spoke, not wanting to stop until she had to.

"My dad isn't going to get out," she began, biting her lip. "There was . . . something happened in the prison. A snake got in and bit him. It was poisonous and . . . he died." There was the blurry vision, and then it was gone again. "I don't know what's going to happen with . . . anything." Again, her mind went whirling, thinking of all the things she needed to say and ask and clarify. Yes, she had vague arrangements for travel to the funeral and wondered if he'd like to join. No, she didn't know when it would be. Yes, she was hoping they could stay the night at the McLeods' - at home - that weekend because she wasn't sure she wanted to come back to Sonora and pretend everything was normal. Yes, Mr. Carmichael would probably be at the funeral and Heinrich would meet him. Yes, he'd probably be terrible. No, she didn't know if her mom was coming, or even knew. No, she didn't know how to sell a house or who would get the money or what would happen. Yes, she was sad. Yes, she was relieved. No, she wasn't okay. Yes, she was okay.

She'd talked to people in the order of logistics, not emotions, and that maybe was the Aladren influence rubbing off on her, but now she'd gotten to the emotional bit and she still wasn't sure how she felt. Of course, Ness was her emotional bit too, and she hadn't had a good grasp on her feelings then either. It was weird breaking the news of her own father's death to other people. Weren't other people supposed to break that news to her? Wasn't she supposed to be the one who needed to sit down and her friends or family would be there to comfort her? What kind of cosmic bullcrap was this? At the same time, would she have wanted it any other way? Who in the world would be there to tell her and comfort her? Her mother or Ms. Heidi were the only ones she could think of, unless the prison had written directly to the school for Evelyn, and that wouldn't be that helpful. She loved Ms. Heidi, but she didn't want the woman's hugs about this.

Edgar peeped in Evelyn's pocket and she retrieved her, giving the little pink floof some pets while they walked. "I'm sorry my life is a bit of a mess," she grimaced lightly, looking up at Heinrich. "I don't think it's very fair to you."

22 Evelyn Stones I hate that this keeps happening. [Heinrich] 1422 1 5

Heinrich Hexenmeister

August 12, 2020 6:41 PM

Family stuff sucks by Heinrich Hexenmeister

Heinrich had a bad feeling when Evelyn invited him to walk with her. There was something in her expression? And the vague mention of a letter was ominous. He naturally assumed it had something to do with her father, and he was right. He was just wrong about what it was her father had gone and done this time.

As it happened, he had served a life sentence after all.

He let her talk, only asking a few clarifying questions, letting her say what she needed to say, letting her set the pace of their walking, focusing on her words and trying not to let he own thoughts get in the way, trying not to see the things that probably weren't even there.

But a part of him was thinking, and a part of him was seeing things line up in a way that he wished he wasn't seeing. Part of him was making this about him when it shouldn't be, when it wasn't.

Evelyn was talking about the funeral and Mr. Carmichael, and that was important, that was a trauma she didn't need on top of everything else, that was something he wanted - needed - to help her get through, so he was asking the questions he needed to know to do that but . . .

Part of his brain was still stuck on:

a snake got in and bit him

And it was stupid. It was illogical. There were snakes all over America. The country was swarming with the creatures. There were probably half a dozen of them within a few yards of them right here in the Labyrinth. But snakes made him think of Uncle Karl.

And all of this was just so . . . so . . . weirdly convenient.

Evelyn had said she was relieved. She had a right to be relieved. This solved a problem.

And that . . . that was what he'd always been told his parents did for a living. They solved other people's problems.

"I-" he interrupted Evelyn as she was apologizing needlessly to him. "I need to sit down," he told her faintly. He did so, abruptly, pulling his knees up to his chest as he sat in the dirt, and rested his head between them and tried not to throw up. Because his parents were locked away and they didn't do this. It was stupid. They had air tight alibis and not all Hexenmeisters were like them. He needed all Hexenmeisters to not be like them. He couldn't do this again. Uncle Karl was not like them. Uncle Karl was a decent person. And how exactly was a guy from Utah supposed to even get a snake into an Oregon prison anyway? He couldn't. Heinrich was just jumping at shadows.

"I'm sorry, too," he apologized back, the words muffled against his legs. "I'm having Wrong Thoughts and I . . . I'm sorry," this was her tragedy not his. "I'm not okay either. We can be not okay together." He sat up a little straighter and looked up at her, holding out an arm, inviting her to sit down in the dirt with him and lean against each other. "Do you want to just cry? I . . ." he hadn't really cried at all in the six years since Mom and Dad were taken away. "My dad is going to die in prison, too, and . . . I think maybe we should cry for the loss of the dads we should have had but never did."

He was reminded of their first meeting on the cliffs. "Family stuff sucks."

1 Heinrich Hexenmeister Family stuff sucks 1414 0 5

Evelyn Stones

August 12, 2020 8:21 PM

Very very much. by Evelyn Stones

Heinrich took things well at first, and he listened and he was there for her and Evelyn started to think that maybe everything was going to be okay. She had people on her team and they were smart, kind, loving people. But then he was also not taking things well and then he was a ball. She started a bit and then blinked, shocked as Heinrich became small. Heinrich was never small. He looked really bad, for a given value of bad because Heinrich never really looked bad, and Evelyn immediately
wanted to join by his side, but she wasn't sure what would be best for him. She hesitated, trying to decide whether he needed space or no space.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice rising with anxiety. Had she said something wrong? Obviously she had said lots of wrong things but . . . wait why was he apologising? He was having Wrong Thoughts. That could mean a lot of things but few of them made sense in this case because what sort of Wrong Thoughts would make Heinrich curl up in a ball in the dirt all of a sudden. Edgar peeped again and Evelyn returned her softly to her pocket as Heinrich invited her to join him and she did so immediately, wrapping him up as best she could and sitting as close as he'd let her, whether that meant they were one single silhouette, or whether they were completely separate. She just wanted to be there for him. She didn't normally wish she was bigger but she did then, when she would have liked to wrap him up and keep him safe from whatever was bothering him.

He wasn't okay. He wasn't okay and he wanted to cry. And both their dads would die in prison or had already. And they weren't okay. Evelyn found that she couldn't help herself when he asked if she wanted to cry because she very much did just then. It was easy to see Heinrich and see someone who was brave and strong and smart and who had survived a crappy situation, but she didn't think of herself that way. She didn't give herself permission to grieve the things she'd never had the chance to lose. Her situation was different than Heinrich's; he'd had a dad once, and the bad wolves hadn't bit him the same way. They'd had a conversation once wondering which would be worse and, neither of them knowing the other's experience, decided both were terrible for different reasons. But they'd never cried. Heck, Heinrich had only started smiling in the past few years. Wasn't that telling?

She nodded, a few tears slipping out already. "I'm so so sorry for your losses," she murmured. The callback to a day that was very different and also not very different made her chuckle weakly and she nodded again. "Family stuff does suck," she agreed. It was sort of amazing how much two people could lend each other strength and draw strength from each other. "I think that maybe we should make our own family. Not-- not like that. I mean maybe-- no that's not what I mean." She started quiet but her voice changed a little as she butchered her sentence before getting back to the point and calming down. "You're my family. CJ's my family, too, of course, but you're my family. You and Ness and Gary and Parker and all the people we love and who love us." She paused. "I like our family."

22 Evelyn Stones Very very much. 1422 0 5

Heinrich Hexenmeister

August 14, 2020 1:49 PM

At least things are stable now? Almost? by Heinrich Hexenmeister

Heinrich put an arm around Evelyn and leaned against her as she joined him. She was willing to cry, and he honestly sure if he could but he wanted to. He thought he might have been close when he saw the tears dripping down Evelyn's cheeks, but she was talking he was listening, and . . . he really couldn't help it. At 'maybe we should make our own family' he just started laughing. Just an isolated chuckle at first, but then 'not like that' and it was a few more, and then 'that's not what I mean,' and he was laughing. Not at Evelyn, never at Evelyn, and not even at the ridiculousness of the situation, it was just . . . release. He was laughing and he was crying and there was wet on his face, because he couldn't cry any other way, but he could apparently laugh until he cried.

He pulled himself together again after a few breaths that might have been sobs, and nodded to the words he'd heard but hadn't been able to respond to properly. He used the heel of his hand to wipe at his cheek. "Sorry. It wasn't that funny," that was untrue, "well, it was, but . . . I needed that. Thank you." He wiped the other cheek. "I like our family of you and Ness and Gary and Parker and CJ, too. And Hilda," he added because Hilda was all that was really left of his original family. "And Hansel, too?" he guessed, but he didn't sound as certain of that. Hans was different now. He wasn't little like CJ was anymore. Evelyn had only sort of met Hans once, at the concert, and even that was a few years ago now. "You need to meet Hans properly," he told her.

Now that her summer had suddenly opened up, that was something they could do over break. But maybe right this minute was not the best time to talk about that. Maybe a snake ranch wasn't the best place to bring her when her dad had so recently died of a snakebite.

He looked up at the sky for a moment, watching the thin clouds chase each other across the blue expanse. Thoughts of Hansel led to thoughts of Karl again. Evelyn hadn't included any grown-ups in her list, so he didn't either. He wasn't sure he would have even if she had. Karl . . .

"Karl wouldn't kill anyone." The words escaped his mouth without his express permission, the tone clearly indicating they had been intended to convince himself not her. His eyes widened in alarm as he realized what he'd just put out there where Evelyn could hear it. "I - I'm sure he didn't have anything to do with the snakebite," he pressed with more conviction than he felt. "I'm just . . . I already failed to notice that two Hexenmeisters that I lived with were murderers, and . . . I don't know. He's a Hexenmeister who raises snakes. I guess I have some unresolved trust issues."

1 Heinrich Hexenmeister At least things are stable now? Almost? 1414 0 5

Evelyn Stones

August 14, 2020 3:04 PM

In a weird way, I think you're right. by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn hadn't heard Heinrich laugh very many times, but she was sure in that moment that it was her favorite sound. She couldn't help blushing as he laughed, though, because she'd not meant to say what she'd said but she couldn't exactly take it back, and it wasn't a thing they talked about very much. At all. His laughter made her feel warm though and she joined him after just a moment. Then, it stopped and Evelyn found herself determined to spend the rest of her life trying to give Heinrich as many reasons to laugh as she could. She wondered idly if he was ticklish, but decided this wouldn't be the right moment to find out.

"I love your laugh," she told him, smiling softly when he apologised. "You don't have to be sorry," she promised. She nodded her agreement of Hilda and Hans, feeling bad for having left them out, and she pressed her lips together, unable to help smiling at the idea that she should meet Hansel officially some time. "It's a bit funny now, hearing you say that. Like you wanna be with me. To think that a year ago this time, I was just worried about you asking another girl to the Ball."

She followed his gaze to the sky and found a perfectly Sonoran view above them. It wasn't much like the Oregon sky she'd seen for a long time and that was fine by her. Of course, clouds were clouds, but there was something different about the way they wisped around here, without the constant mist hanging between her and space from the waves crashing nearby. This was a clear sky, even for its clouds, and Evelyn thought that it was perfect.

She stiffened, as if they sky had fallen, when Heinrich spoke next. For a moment, her urge was to pull away. To run away. She was glad for the first time that her fight-or-flight instinct usually went with freeze, because she stiffened but didn't move away. Karl wouldn't have, would he? He wouldn't have been able to do anything like that. It wasn't like he could just carry a snake into prison and mime at it until it figured out who he wanted to get bit. He would have had to . . . maybe bribe a guard? A bottle of poison and a fake bite later . . . But why would he do that? Sure, he cared about Heinrich, but the man had hardly expressed affection to the point of I'll murder your girlfriend's abusive father for you, and she didn't see why he'd start now.

But what if he had? Evelyn was pretty sure that even if he had, Heinrich had not gotten the assassin streak. Whatever that gene was had probably missed the young man full of good wolves who sat with his arm around her then. Would it have mattered if she hadn't thought that? Truth be told, she could see herself resorting to murder much easier than she could see Heinrich doing that. If the situation was right and options were running short . . . Well, even if Karl had done it somehow, she found that she was more thinking of thanking him than anything else. He'd done what no one else would have been able to do and he'd saved her. But he probably hadn't. Snakes were all over Oregon and, while few of them were venomous, there were enough that it wasn't unheard of to die by snakebite.

Her mind ran through these ideas quickly, much faster than she'd been able to manage with any of her other thoughts today, and she settled back into Heinrich's side as she relaxed again. She doubted that he would be comfortable if she excused it by saying she wouldn't mind even if he had done it, so that part she kept to herself. "I know you do," she murmured, rubbing his back with her hand that was around him. "There are lots of snakes in Oregon," she added by way of reassurance on her part. "I'm not worried about your uncle," she smiled. "Even if he had somehow been involved, I think that . . . well, I think I probably will live to seventeen now," she pointed out, hugging him a little closer. It was weird to admit out loud that she'd been afraid for her life until now. If somebody had to die, she was glad it wasn't herself or CJ. "I think that summer is going to be weird . . . everything is going to be weird. But we are going to have a birthday party and it's going to be great," she promised. "And I'm going to learn how to drive."

22 Evelyn Stones In a weird way, I think you're right. 1422 0 5