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Felipe De Matteo

July 17, 2020 12:45 PM

You can be anything you want. by Felipe De Matteo

OOC - All dialogue in Spanish.

Felipe was tired. Much as he found his relationship with Zara invigorating, it could only do so much to make up for the other stress in his life, and spending the winter break at home, with Leonor and his self-loathing as company, only made it worse. For now, though, Leonor and the De Matteo patriarch were visiting Ciudad de Matteo and Felipe was doing his best to enjoy his time on his own. A little breathing room.

Without really meaning to, he'd found his way to the dance hall, where various dances and events had taken place over the years. It seemed like it had been a long time since an actual ball of sorts had happened here, though. Mostly, especially at this time of year, it was used as a staging area for various charity-based activities. Boxes and crates took up most of the floor and there was only a little space in the middle of the room for dancing, if anyone had been inclined to take up the opportunity. A magic radio was in one corner of the room, ready to provide music when a band hadn't been procured.

Felipe ran his fingers along the boxes of goods, ready to be given to the people in town or exported to other areas where supplies were in high demand, and meandered through the room without really thinking about it. His thoughts went back to the Ball with Zara, and he couldn't help smiling a little bit at the memories he'd made with her then. It was one of the few sets of memories that made him smile. The only ones that could manage it were usually those that involved Zara, and when he wasn't thinking of her, he was mostly thinking about nothing. Just numb. He felt heavy and cold and dark, and if not for the fact that it would be improper to spend all day in bed, he might have. It would be easier than waking up.

Usually when these thoughts came to mind, Felipe had to work extra hard to remind himself to breathe. To keep walking. To keep being. In this case, it was interrupted instead by the sound of someone approaching. He started, and turned to see his mother approaching. He smiled lightly at her, dipping his head to show respect.

"Are you good, mama?" he asked her softly, smiling politely.

She nodded. "Are you?" Felipe's chest tightened uncomfortably but he nodded. The feeling intensified when she reached forward and put her hand on his arm. "When you and your sister were little, your father and I would come in here with you both and try to teach you how to dance. Leonor would stand on your father's feet and you and I would spin around because the momentum made it easier for you to lead," she smiled. "That feels like a very long time ago."

Felipe looked around the room, seeing decorations in place of the boxes that occupied the space now. Music flitted through the air, and that, he knew, wasn't a memory. He turned to look down at his mother again and found her grinning mischievously, her wand out and pointed at the radio. She didn't usually get such an expression, although Felipe knew she had a deep, rich sense of humor. One of her eyebrows raised in a challenge, and Felipe couldn't help smirking.

"I'm a better dancer now," he promised, offering a hand to his mother. When she accepted, he took up proper dancing position and . . . spun them 'round and 'round as fast as he could manage whilst maintaining a proper waltz step. Soon, both of them were laughing aloud, and when Felipe slowed the pace down, his mother wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

"I'm so proud of you, son," she told him happily before withdrawing. "You've grown up to be a wonderful young man."

Felipe blinked, surprised by how much that meant to him to hear. "Even though I couldn't be heir anymore?" he asked quietly, feeling like a foolish child. He raised his arm and moved his mother through a turn.

She nodded. "You can be anything you want to be," she told him. "You just didn't want to be heir. That means you'll be something else. Your father and I are both proud of you for that."

Felipe wanted to ask about all the what-ifs that came to mind, but he couldn't bring himself to. As they continued dancing through the end of the song, he found that maybe he didn't need to. A weight he hadn't realised he'd been carrying unstuck itself from his chest and floated away, leaving him feeling much lighter than he had before.

"Thank you, mama," he told her, bowing when the song ended.

She curtseyed and smiled. "Thank you, son," she said, before leaving him alone with a room full of boxes and a whole lot to unpack.

22 Felipe De Matteo You can be anything you want. 1434 1 5