So... crazy year so far, huh? [Ness] on Aladren Commons

Gary Harper

June 07, 2020 12:57 PM

So... crazy year so far, huh? [Ness] by Gary Harper

Gary was an Aladren. He was an Aladren with a problem, a big problem. So, by his nature he had to solve it. Unfortunately his nature also tended toward overly complicated schemes. So for the next two days after talking with Evelyn, he schemed and plotted. He considered possible problems and corresponding contingencies. He tested the limits of what the MARS rooms could do for him, he scouted out all of the possible routes through the library. He had to do his best to fix this, he only had one chance.

The common room was empty as he sat reviewing his notes and plans. They still weren't right. There was still something fundamentally flawed with them. Something that he just couldn't quite put his finger on. He thought back over the conversation he had with Evelyn, he'd asked her the best way to go about talking to Ness. Her voice drifted back through his head.

"I think probably just being honest."

He sighed and slumped back into his chair. That was it. All of these plans were manufactured scenarios. They weren't real, they weren't honest. Ness could spot a setup from a mile away and that would only hurt him. He balled them all up and chucked the pile of papers into the fireplace. The fire flared up momentarily and then died back down.

The door to the library closed and he looked around to see that Ness was there. When had... it didn't matter. He was done delaying the inevitable, let's just get this over with. He stood his face set in resigned determination, "Ness, do you have a minute?" Looking at his friend, he was again reminded of all of the hurt and anger he had caused. A wave of guilt and shame washed over him again, his face fell, "I just wanted to apologize." He finished slowly.

2 Gary Harper So... crazy year so far, huh? [Ness] 1404 1 5

Ness McLeod

June 09, 2020 6:38 PM

Yeah? by Ness McLeod

Ness began sliding books back onto shelves with a sigh. It was time to pack up and retreat to the Aladren Common Room. Except ‘retreat’ wasn’t the right verb any more. It used to be the case. Moving out of the library and into the common room signalled full on study mode to home mode. Not that Ness never did homework there, or didn’t read in one of its comfy armchairs - Ness did both those things very often. It just felt like doing them at home normally.

Right now, things were not normal. Even though Ness had stayed for the rest of the feast, not giving into the urge to run or to slam a dish of mashed potatoes into Gary’s face, things felt weird. It was hard to tell whether Gary was really avoiding the fifth year, or whether it was just the natural effect of not having their classes together. It felt like Ness had seen him more last year though. Not that Ness was making a lot of time to seek out Gary either. It was just easier not to. And that was sad.

Talking to Eeleyn had helped, in that Ness felt vindicated about being outraged, but it didn’t fix the fact that Ness was outraged and hurt and didn’t know how to be friends with someone who mattered a lot. And what would happen to DnD if they didn’t make up?

As the common room door closed, Ness realised things were about to change, for better or worse. Gary was here, and pretty much no one else was. They couldn’t ignore each other without it being obvious. And he was asking if Ness had a minute. The fifth year hesitated. Minutes were not something Ness was short of, especially as the alternative to sitting down with Gary was returning to the dorm room shared with Topaz. But if he was going to just act like normal-

He wanted to apologise?

“Yeah?” Ness queried the second remark more than the first, answering the first part by walking over. The fifth year was still wearing a dark blue backpack covered in stars, and now shrugged this off in order to be more comfortable. Even though a chair took most of the weight, one hand still held the strap, ready to make a quick exit if necessary. Still, Ness’ tone of voice was not hostile. It was not a challenge, not a ‘prove it!’ kind of ‘yeah?’ Just an opening for Gary to say more, and see whether he got it right this time.

13 Ness McLeod Yeah? 1419 0 5

Gary Harper

June 09, 2020 7:29 PM

Yeah. by Gary Harper

"Yeah," was his immediate response. It was probably the wrong one as well. He tried to give a reassuring smile to his old friend, but he wasn't sure it came out quite right so he dropped it. Dangit he hated not having a plan! He glanced quickly at the fire and charred remnants of all his terrible plans, then looked back at Ness. His stomach twisted in a knot and he had to drop his gaze. Ness had come over, apparently willing to at least listen. So far no hexes, that was a good sign. He took a deep breath, where to start?

"I'm sorry." he began slowly, only having a very vague idea about what was coming next. "I'm sorry about everything." No, that was to broad, way to broad. He tried to look up at his fellow Aladren again, and failed. "I'm a idiot and a fool and everything else along those lines." His stomach uncoiled a bit as he talked. Only a bit though. "For starters I'm sorry for nearly ever single word out of my mouth at the opening feast," This time he succeeded on his check to look back at Ness, "Not the part about you getting prefect though. You deserved way more congratulations on that front."

He dropped back into his chair, sighed and stared at the ceiling for a moment while he tried collecting his thoughts. "I had gotten a stupid grand scheme in my head, and it seemed great at the time. I didn't stop to think about anyone else, what they might want, think, or feel." He swallowed to try and keep the emotion down. "I am so sorry I hurt you." came out closer to a whisper than a statement. He looked back at Ness again somberly, "What can I do to make it up to you? What do you want to do and how can I help make it happen?"

2 Gary Harper Yeah. 1404 0 5

Ness McLeod

June 10, 2020 6:39 PM

Right then by Ness McLeod

“Only during that last conversation,” Ness replied when Gary called himself an idiot, a fool and an everything else. “Up until then, you had a pretty good track record.” Ness tone wasn’t quite back to its usual fun and friendly vibe but the words more or less matched Ness’ usual speaking style, even if they were said a little flatly.

“Whole grand scheme?” Ness replied, with a quizzical head tilt. As far as the fifth year had seen, Gary had had a really stupid and half baked idea, i.e. ‘vote Morgan.’ Followed by as much backpedalling as possible when it had become obvious Ness didn’t like that. It was strange to think there had been scheming involved. “Go on?” Ness prompted, wanting to know what exactly was going on in Gary’s head because it definitely felt like they were on different pages.

“Thank you,” Ness nodded, when he offered an apology. “I’ll think about that,” Ness added, when he asked what the fifth year wanted. “First, I’d like to know what you were thinking,” Ness stated, though not unkindly. The explanation seemed like a pretty good start. It was hard to know how you felt or what action you wanted to take until you had all the facts after all.

13 Ness McLeod Right then 1419 0 5

Gary Harper

June 10, 2020 8:04 PM

Alright then by Gary Harper

Gary gave Ness something of a sad smile and softer eyes than usual, "I'm not so sure about that either," his track record of being a friend, perhaps. But if his recent realization was anything to go by, which he wasn't entirely sure of, he had been an awful oblivious friend. "There have always been things I've been terrible at without realizing it. I'm sorry on that front as well." Best not to get further into that matter though, unless Ness wanted to pursue it.

He sighed at Ness' request, it was a perfectly reasonable one. "Okay, but prepare yourself for a whole pile of stupid, privileged, terrible logic. At the time, I thought it was a great plan, I was wrong and someone that I'm not going to name had to pretty much slap me upside the head to get me to see it." He paused a moment, "On a completely unrelated topic, I should do something nice for Evelyn sometime. If you have any ideas let me know."

"Anyway it all started..." he stopped again suddenly, "Oh, if you feel the urge to hex me at any point throughout this explanation, feel free, I'm pretty sure I deserve it." He purposefully set his own wand aside, "Alright, so it started near the end of the summer when I realized this was going to be my last year here. Now last year was a mess because I had made nearly the same realization with regards to classes and jobs and," he paused again for just a moment, "other future plans. But, the fate of the game club for whatever reason didn't strike me until near the end of summer."

"I haven't done much at school here. I went to classes, studied and participated in one club. It was through that club that I have any resemblance of a 'social life'." Gary actually did the finger quotes around the words 'social life'. "It was important to me. I had friends because of it. For all I know, I got prefect because of it." He sighed, "And I hadn't done a thing to make sure it could continue after I was gone. I should have had you run the genderless robot space pirate game last term, then all of this stupidity would have been avoided."

This was going to be the part that got dangerous. "I wanted you to take over, I still want you to take over. Like I told Eve... the person that I talked to, you are undoubtedly the most qualified and experienced person for the job." He hesitated again, "But, I had convinced myself that you didn't know what it was like to prepare and run a game, to work all week getting ready so that you would have something for everyone else in the club to enjoy for a few hours."

The words just started tumbling out trying to get free before the inevitable hexes came flying his way. "I convinced myself that this club wasn't like dueling club or gardening club, at least for the one running the game. Show up for a bit, do the thing and then move on with life afterwards. I ran this club in the constant fear of not having something for people to have fun with each week and disappointing them. I had convinced myself that I couldn't subject you to that without you knowing about it. I like you to much."

He relaxed, not realizing he had tensed up so much. "So, my grand plan. Let you get that knowledge through stupid deceit and trickery." He gave Ness a poor attempt at a grin, "I don't know if you realize this, but there are times you can get a little competitive. Part of this grand scheme was not to just get you to run a game, but to throw yourself into the task wholeheartedly. So that you could experience all of those things before you were committed to the job. I was afraid that if I had simply asked you if you wanted to take over because you were the best, that you'd take it without thinking about it. Then, a little later down the road, you'd discover that you hated it, didn't have time for it and would curse me for tricking you into taking the job that you had to do now because everyone was counting on you and you said you'd do it."

"I didn't think I was taking any decision away from you, I thought I was just helping you gain the information you needed to make the decision on your own. Evel... that person I talked to did not agree with my horrible logic and I was brought around." He tried another grin and got closer to the mark, "So Opening Feast should have gone a little more like this, Congratulations Ness! A better person couldn't have been chosen for prefect, I know you'll be a fantastic one. Oh, by the way. This is my last year in the game club and you are undoubtedly the best person for taking over once I'm gone. There are some things that I think we should discuss first though, are you interested?"

2 Gary Harper Alright then 1404 0 5

Ness McLeod

June 12, 2020 8:53 PM

Cool by Ness McLeod

Ness was about to say that being terrible at something without realising it didn’t make it Gary’s fault or make him a bad person but then he brought up privilege and Ness reigned in that comment. Admittedly, having privilege also did not make him a bad person - just refusing to examine or acknowledge it. That was reasoned logic and fair thought on the matter said. If Ness had been privileged at though, it was something of a red flag to a dragon.

Ness listened. Gary’s plan was definitely not up to his usual standard, and Ness definitely did not appreciate the fact that he’d been trying to pull strings - nor the fact that it apparently took Evelyn pointing this out for him to realise it had been wrong. Had he really not been able to self-reflect on his own, based on how upset he’d made Ness?

Still, he had realised. And apologised. And if Ness stayed mad, then all of DnD was broken and that would suck. Ness wanted them all back around the table having fun.

“You tried to DM me?” the fifth year deadpanned with raised eyebrows, “Can’t just tell me stuff, gotta send me on a quest to learn it?” The corner of Ness’ mouth twitched. “That would almost be funny if, in real life, we didn’t call that being a manipulative douche. Don’t do it again,” Ness cautioned, finally dropping the rucksack to the floor and taking a seat opposite Gary.

“I’m interested,” Ness assured him, “And like… I don’t expect you to just hand it to me on a plate or anything. I’m happy to compete for it. I know there’s a lot to learn. I just… I felt like you wanted Morgan to take it on more than you wanted me to,” well, given what Gary had said as viewing it as inflicting rather than giving, maybe that was accurate but was meant as a compliment. “Or that you thought she’d be able to do it better than me.

“Though actually,” Ness added, pushing the words out so that thought would have to be finished and could not be backed down from… And Ness wanted to say it. The fifth year had been feeling guilty about giving Val a ‘maybe’ because it wasn’t strictly truthful. It had just been hard to imagine bringing someone in when Gary already thought Ness wasn’t good enough. But, if he didn’t think that… “I think my main competition might be this first year that I found,” and that was the other thing - Val was eventually bound to talk to other people and get into the game somehow. She was clearly enthusiastic and determined. This way, at least, Ness got to take credit for discovering her. Ness pictured planting a little rainbow flag on the first year’s head and claiming her in the name of Nessland… “She said she’d helped out her parents with similar games.”

13 Ness McLeod Cool 1419 Ness McLeod 0 5

Gary Harper

June 13, 2020 6:14 AM

It is? by Gary Harper

No hexes had flow his way yet. Gary took that as a good sign. He turned red and smiled sheepishly at Ness' observation. Then the smile dropped away at the 'manipulative douche' comment. It was accurate. The shame that washed over him again prevented him from saying anything, but he nodded in agreement at not doing it again. On top of the stupidity and everything else, he was also a manipulative douche.

He thought over this, how many other times had he done this sort of thing without really realizing it but gotten away with it? All the time when he was sitting behind the DM screen, but that was his job there. He was supposed to manipulate the characters and the players to help everyone tell a good story. That was expected though while they were playing, the players had bought into that idea. Here, not so much. In this case it had failed terribly and come to the light. What would have happened if it hadn't?

If Ness had simply accepted the challenge... he wouldn't have learned that he was a terrible person. That would have made things easier so far this year, but you can't grow and learn without some level of adversity. Ness was a good person, smart, strong, dedicated... scratch that, Ness was an amazing person, also kind and forgiving. As his mind flashed back over some of the realization he had come to while talking with Evelyn, Ness was way to good for a terrible, manipulative douche like him.

Gary had a hopeful smile as Ness sat across from him, that expression turned into a wince when Morgan got mentioned again. Goshdangnabitstupidfreaking....gah! Of all the stupid, dumb things! "No! No, no, no." He wanted to slam his head into something hard again, but nothing was convenient. So he had to settle for grinding the palms of his hands into his eyes and then running his fingers through his hair in frustration before looking Ness straight in the eyes to make sure his point got across. "I don't want Morgan. I want you."

He sighed and sat back again letting his head flop back onto the top of his chair and stared at the ceiling. "Standardized disclaimer," he said in a weary sounding voice, "I'm sure if Morgan really wanted to she would be perfectly capable of picking up the skills and doing a fine job at it." He looked at his fellow Aladren again, "But you are leaps and bounds ahead of her. If the club has any chance of success, it is with you."

His gaze wandered to the floor this time, "I'm sorry you felt that way. No.. that's not right, I'm sorry for my part in making you feel that way. I didn't..." He let the sentence drift off. He was going to have to make good on those things he'd mentioned to Evelyn. "That deserves it's own level of reparations." he hesitated for a moment, this wasn't going to go well for him but that was the point. He steeled himself and continued, "So, if I am still invited to the big get-together, I give you full authority over my attire to whatever 'show' may occur there, as punishment for that particular transgression."

Gary looked up and raised his own eyebrow at the mention of 'real competition'. "Oh?" he did his level best to keep his tone neutral. This could be a very good thing, if it was true, then that meant that even once he was gone, Ness would have another, more experienced gamer to rely on if necessary. He wouldn't just be abandoning Ness to a group that had only been playing for a short time. However, he was on alert now. He wasn't going to make the same mistake that he had with Morgan. Even if this new kid was an ace gamemaster, Ness still had to know that he was solidly in Ness' corner. "That could be good to have another experienced player around once you've taken over. I sure appreciated Zevalyn being at the table. What did you tell her?"

2 Gary Harper It is? 1404 0 5

Ness McLeod

July 11, 2020 7:05 PM

And we all learnt valuable lessons by Ness McLeod

Ness beamed with pride as Gary talked about the fifth year being the club's best shot and wanting it to be Ness that took over. That was way more like it!

And then Gary was apologising, which was nice enough to hear, but also offering to don apology drag?! Kir, of course, would have said that was not a valid reason, and that drag should not have been seen as a punishment but entered into willingly. Ness was not Kir. The Aladren grinned from ear to ear. Ness would not have wanted Gary to do something he was really against or that made him uncomfortable but Ness just couldn't see that someone might have anything but fun embracing all the silliness and dressing up that was drag. Whatever way Gary was talking about it didn't matter - it would be fun, and he was now in and that was awesome.

"You are absolutely still invited," Ness beamed. "It's gonna be great! Hug?" the fifth year offered. Ness had almost bounced up to do this impulsively - it was such a relief to have everything be nice again, and in fact better than before if Gary was going to come to the drag night, and Ness was super happy - but then the realisation had hit that the two of them had never really hugged much and it would be good to check first.

Gary asked about Val, and Ness felt a little twist of guilt. Ness had said something a little bit untrue to Val. The lesson from this whole misadventure was that it was best to be honest, and not try to pull friends' strings... But everything was nice and back to normal now. And the little bending of the truth with Val had just been because Ness had been feeling unsettled. So, if it was so justifiable and forgiveable, surely Ness should trust Gary to forgive?

"I said I'd let her know what was happening this year," Ness spun it. That was more or less true, even if it glossed over the bit where Ness had been kind of jealous and implied that Val needed a stamp of approval. "I'll pass on some more info next time I see her," Ness confirmed. And that would hopefully give Ness a chance to downplay the ideas that were now in Val's head. Something like 'Yeah, it's normally pretty open but I just wanted to check cos a lot is changing this year.' That would be fine.

13 Ness McLeod And we all learnt valuable lessons 1419 0 5

Gary Harper

July 11, 2020 8:32 PM

Learning valuble things is very good, and sometimes painful. by Gary Harper

Gary was so relieved as he watched Ness smile. Then he felt a chill run down his spine as that smile turned into something else. Something that meant things would get 'interesting' for him. What had he done? He had done terrible things, and he had to pay the price, and it sure looked like he was going to be doing just that. Such was life.

Then the real shock came. Not that he was still invited to the party, if he wasn't his offer of reparations wouldn't have meant anything. Ness wanted to hug. He was pretty sure that he hadn't ever actually hugged Ness before. He was really fairly certain that other than Jasmine, he hadn't hugged anybody in the school before. He and Evelyn had talked a little about hugging during their 'chat', but nothing had come of it. Other than the realization that maybe, at one point, Ness had liked him and he'd been very stupid.

"Sure" He gave Ness a smile and wrapped his arms around his fellow Aladren, gamer and friend. It felt good, really good. It had some quality to it that Jasmine's had never had. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was there and he relished it. As much as it pained him, he released his hold the moment Ness began to pull back. "Thanks, I..." He started without thinking, then he paused trying to figure out how to finish that sentence while remaining cool and stoic. He gave up and sighed, "I think I needed that."

Gary smiled at Ness' response to her find. There was something more there, and it was most likely his fault as well. "Excellent. There is something of a drop-out rate as people see what is all about and some decide it isn't for them. The more we can get in, the more we can keep playing games. Even the best game master ever isn't any good if there aren't any players at the table."

2 Gary Harper Learning valuble things is very good, and sometimes painful. 1404 0 5