Ellie Alperton
May 03, 2020 7:26 AM
Help? by Ellie Alperton
Ellie climbed off the wagon, her stomach churning furiously and her legs shaking. She had not been sick, but the whole ride had felt like being on the verge of it. She was not the kind of person who thought it might be better to just throw up so she could stop feeling that way. Throwing up was gross and it felt horrible, and it would be super embarrassing to do it in front of everyone. As if she didn’t already have enough reason to feel that way.The feeling didn’t really get better as she made her way inside. Her first stop was the bathroom, hoping she could get her stomach to settle and to just… compose herself a bit. She used the facilities, and tried to keep focussed on the things around her. The colour of the walls. The floor pushing back against her sneakers. But bathrooms had never exactly been calm places for her. She took a moment to splash some cold water on her face, but she mostly still felt like she was suffocating.
What she needed was a friendly face. A friendly and helpful face. Professor Wright was probably the most appropriate person to go to but he was busy with orientation. She supposed that Professor Skies was an option… Except, whilst she seemed nice when she was helping, Ellie imagined she was terrifying when she was scolding. Really, any adult was. The thought of sitting down and talking through this with anyone was mortifying. She had never been a trouble maker. Never put so much as a toe out of line at school previously. And the worst part was, she had no idea how much trouble she’d be in. Surely they wouldn’t drag her all the way back just to expel her and send her packing, right?
She thought about just going and burying herself in her dorm in Aladren, pulling the blankets over her head until this all went away. But she didn’t think it would. Not by itself. She was going to have to sort it out… And it was going to be better that she did that sooner rather than later. Firstly, because that showed that she was being good and was trying, and secondly because the worry was going to eat her inside out otherwise.
She took a breath, and headed to Cascade Hall. She didn’t know which staff were busy or available to help her right now, but presumably any who were hanging out in the hall were free. They had mentioned something about prefects being there to give passwords too, so that might be an option. Or just… anyone. Anyone who knew more about the magical world than she did, and could help answer her questions.
She hesitated at the entrance to the hall, scanning it for a helpful face, her own clearly conveying the anxiety bubbling away in her chest.
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Ellie Alperton
Help?
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Killian Row
May 03, 2020 9:28 AM
Hey, that's literally my job. by Killian Row
Killian would have been kidding himself if he'd tried to say he wasn't in Cascade Hall for Bonny. Logically, he knew she wouldn't be there and that he wouldn't see her until she came in for sorting, but this was still the closest he could get to seeing her for now. Plus he could be helpful. There wasn't a lot for him to do, but he was generally a friendly enough person that he thought maybe just being around would lend itself some utility, and he was certainly happy to do something more practical than boost morale, should the need arise. But his thoughts kept going back to his niece.Over the summer, he'd discovered that she was a lovely young lady and that his brother was only kind of a dolt. He made less terrible decisions than Killian had given him credit for, or at least fewer of them, and really seemed to be trying. That wasn't to say he was perfect, if Bonny's distinct sense of responsibility and adult-like maturity were anything to go by. She was a girl who had not yet been a child, and that was always a bit tragic. But of course, her father was a man who had only just begun trying to be an adult, so perhaps it would all happen in due time.
He tried not to think about that as the day turned to evening and his lingering in the Hall lumped him more and more in with the staff members who had nothing better to do. They were probably also the ones who were most well-prepared for this year and had already done everything they needed to, so that was good. Or they were the ones who hadn't done a thing and would be winging it, so that was exciting. Killian himself was a little of column A, a little of column B.
When a young witch peeped her head into Cascade Hall well before meal time, though, Killian couldn't help his instinct to help. She (Ellie Alperton - 13(!), Aladren... panicking?) had a look on her face that made Killian's stomach do backflips, as such expressions rarely meant anything good. In fact, they never did unless it was an evil person who was devastated to have been defeated by goodness, or law enforcement, but that was unlikely in this case. He supposed it could also be a misunderstanding in some way and everything was fine; Killian knew enough about Aladrens to suspect that wasn't the case, and enough about people to suspect it was.
Ellie seemed to be looking for something or someone, but Killian couldn't quite tell if it was a specific something or someone, and he made his way towards her with a friendly, half-cocked expression. "Are you alright, lass?" he asked as he got closer. He stood far enough away that he didn't have to stoop or crouch to be eye level with her and also wasn't bearing down on her either. Good conversations rarely started by feeling like the police at the bottom of the Empire State Building, looking up at King Kong. "Do you need any help?"
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Killian Row
Hey, that's literally my job.
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Ellie Alperton
May 04, 2020 4:14 AM
Okay. Um... by Ellie Alperton
Ellie got caught in between shaking and nodding her head as Mr. Row asked both whether she was alright (she was not) and whether she needed help (she did). She eyed the hall full of people warily. She had felt like her skin was tingling, alternating hot and cold, all the way here. And more than once on the wagon, she’d had to put her head on her knees, hoping people thought she was just napping when she was actually hiding the fact that her eyes were welling up or even shedding silent tears.“Can we go to your office?” she asked quietly, her eyes brimming. As she made her way through the corridors with him she tried to think about what she was going to say. She wondered whether he already knew. But he didn’t seem angry with her. She wasn’t sure whether that was because he was just nice, or because they were in public, or because he didn’t know. She was a little scared about what he might say when they reached his office, but it was much better than having a conversation about this in public. Even if this didn’t really feel like a particularly great option as she realised that anyone passing was going to see her being escorted down the corridor by a teacher whilst in tears, and that was not a great look. But then, there was no good way to do this. Because this whole thing just sucked.
By the time they got to his office she was definitely crying, though still doing so fairly quietly. Shaking, she took a seat and a tissue.
“This magic lady-” she began, and then stopped, because that really wasn’t the beginning.
“The school didn’t send a letter to my brother,” she said, her tone sounding mildly accusatory in spite of herself, “And… And I was talking with my mom about it. And she said that she… she guessed he didn’t have magic, and he can’t come here,” she said, and this in itself was clearly part of the problem because she began crying more steadily.
“And…” she wrestled with the knot of guilt in her stomach. She knew that telling the truth was a good thing, and that in this case the truth was probably important as a… mitigating factor. The school, after all, probably cared more about whether she was a good witch than a good sister. But she still cared about both. She didn’t want either of them - her teachers or her brother - to think she’d done anything wrong, but she undeniably had. She just felt so ashamed of herself every time she thought about the truth. She thought about the way her mom had said ‘oh Ellie’ and how this little wormy feeling had made itself at home in her stomach, and that it wriggled about whenever she thought of all the mistakes she’d made. She couldn’t imagine saying them out loud to another person. She settled on a modified version of the truth.
“We’ve been playing magic school a lot,” she stated in a small voice, hoping that in itself wasn’t going to be frowned upon. Her family, after all, knew about the magic thing. “And he… he was so excited to come here,” because she had made him be. “And… me too…” She had kept talking and talking to him about what it would be like, how good it would be… “And then mom said- about - how - he might not-” she cut herself off with a small sob, “So I - I went to his room, to- to ask him if he’d ever done stuff - done accidental stuff like me, and- and when I opened the door, his- his Legos were building themselves,” she explained tearfully.
How she wished that was the end of the story.
“But then - then this magic lady from the government appeared. And she said I did it, not Seth, and that I- I broke the law,” she cried, and for all that Mr. Row, fully grown wizard, presumably knew that what she’d done was illegal without her telling him, it still felt terrifying to admit that out loud. She looked at him fearfully as she said it, waiting for shock or condemnation. She wasn’t a rule breaker, let alone a law breaker. It felt all wrong, thinking of herself as someone who’d done such a thing. “It-it was an accident,” she said, shakily. She had tried to think about whether there was such a thing as committing a crime by accident in the non-magical world and what happened to people who did it. The first thing she had been able to come up with was manslaughter. That hadn’t been a comforting analogy. With other crimes, she wasn’t sure if it still counted as a crime if it was just a mistake. Like, if a doddery little old person genuinely forgot to pay for their shopping before they wandered out of the store, she didn’t think that they called them a shoplifter or prosecuted them. They probably did put them in a home though. And parking tickets… If you didn’t know you weren’t meant to park somewhere, sometimes it was possible to argue it, if the signs hadn’t been clear… But school had been very clear about them not using magic at home. Except she hadn’t done it on purpose! That seemed like her best shot at redemption. “I really didn’t mean to,” she promised, “I… Why would I? It wouldn’t even help Seth, if I was doing it for him. And that’s all I wanted. I just wanted him to be magic too, and to come to school with me. Everyone else’s brothers and sisters do, and he’d love it here, and he- I didn’t want him to be all disappointed, he was really looking forward to it-” and at this point she had to give up her protestations that she was not a hardened criminal, as she dissolved into complete and total wretched and frightened sobbing.
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Ellie Alperton
Okay. Um...
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Killian Row
May 04, 2020 1:32 PM
Just breathe. by Killian Row
Killian was very excited not to have to help a small crying person while also managing onlookers. The majority of people milling about were authority figures of some kind or another and he doubted they would be awful, but this was better. Plus he'd never been asked to go to his own office quite like this before and he felt like it was a fun role reversal to get to follow Ellie to his office. He almost wanted to have her sit on his side of the desk and might have if the whole thing weren't already terribly unfunny. Ellie was sad and that made him sad and he was a sympathy crier and he just really had to try not to cry. He also was pretty sure he'd walked himself into this particular confusion between counselor and guidance counselor, so there was that. Maybe he should go back for a psych degree.Normally, Killian would take notes during meetings with students. His memory was impeccable but he wasn't flawless and it usually made people a bit more comfortable if they could see he wasn't just staring at them. This, however, did not seem like a conversation Ellie might want documented right in front of her and she was upset enough to take a tissue for herself, so Killian took a seat and did not take out any paper. He did wave his wand for a hot water kettle and tray of assorted drinks from tea to hot chocolate and back. It was a bit warm yet for hot chocolate but there were few problems in the world that couldn't be solved with something soothing and fewer still that couldn't at least be helped that way. Whether Ellie wanted to partake was up to her, though.
He let her talk through her whole story, noting that there seemed to be three primary pieces at play. Her brother was not magical and that was heartbreaking for her. Her own magic was volatile enough to react to her emotional stress still and that was always a bit scary, even if normal. And she was terribly afraid of having broken the law. None of these were easy to work out, but some were easier than others, so he started there.
"First," he said gently, "it's good of you to find someone to talk to. That's sometimes the hardest part, especially when things are really hard, and I'm proud of you. You're obviously a very mature young lady and it shows in how you handle yourself." Killian was well aware that adults sometimes said such things to patronize young children, but his sincere, admiring tone could hardly be mistaken for such, unless someone already thought that of him, in which case he couldn't fix it anyway. "Second, I want to assure you that you are not in trouble with the law. Underage magic away from school is illegal, but you had done magic before you came to Sonora, right? Sometimes accidents happen, especially when we're sad or scared or stressed. That doesn't make it okay to do again, but the lady from the government didn't know whether you did it on purpose at first. So if it really was an accident, then don't worry about the legal side of things."
He paused, both because he wanted to give Ellie a moment to ask any further questions, breathe, and otherwise take care of herself, and because he knew the next bit was going to be harder. There was nothing he could say to soothe what was essentially grief, except perhaps give her permission to feel it. Without really meaning to, he thought of his own brother. Disappointment, misplaced expectations, and guilt were never easy to deal with, no matter how much the situation called for them.
"Ellie, I'm really sorry about your brother. It's so hard when something we really want doesn't happen, but especially when we never thought it might not happen. That has to be really really hard." His voice was soft, because what else could it be? And his eyes were sad with her, not for her; pity was not something Killian felt for nearly anyone in the world. "I'm not sure I can say anything to make that suck less. If you want, I can explain a little about how magic is inherited? The genetics of it? Or we can just sit together and be sad about a sucky situation. That's okay, too."
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Killian Row
Just breathe.
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Ellie Alperton
May 08, 2020 9:43 PM
Oh. Okay. Then? by Ellie Alperton
Ellie latched on firmly to what Mr. Row said about her. He was proud of her. She was mature. It was exactly the opposite of what she’d been told over the summer, and she liked it when adults were pleased with her and said good things. And he wasn’t shouting or saying she’d be in trouble. It let her calm down enough to bring the sobbing back under control, with the help of several more tissues. She still felt a little bit of a twist in her stomach as he talked about the law. She hadn’t broken it if it had been an accident? She hadn’t been totally sure on that part. The lady had checked her wand. Ellie had been so, so terrified when she’d barked out an order for Ellie to bring it to her, worried that the lady was going to take it away from her forever, but she’d just done a spell and it was like… like a ghost spell came out of her wand. It was one of the charms she’d used to fix her hair for the ball, which had obviously been ages ago, and not the spell she was allegedly in trouble for.“She agreed it was an accident,” she nodded, still sniffling between her words. “And that because it was an accident, I didn’t have to go to MACUSA. But-but,” but she had said more besides that, and Ellie stumbled hesitantly over the words, afraid of destroying the nice, friendly version of an adult that was in front of her, making him take back the nice things he’d said. “She said she’d have to write to school about it,” she stated, “And.. and see what they said,” she added surveying the teacher opposite her with wide eyes that clearly conveyed that right now, he was not just Mr. Row, friendly Irish guidance counselor, but that he represented The School. The ones who had been written to, with the right to decide whether she was punished or had this put on her permanent record or whatever else they might do.
“And-and she was cross even though it was an accident,” she said shakily. She didn’t want to encourage Mr. Row to punish her or think badly of her, but it was weighing on her. “She said I should… I should be growing out of that sort of thing, and that I needed to learn to keep control of myself. Am I… am I a bad witch?” she asked. She couldn’t help but think of other things that got referred to as ‘accidents.’ Being told she had broken the law had been terrifying, but if it was just an accident then what was that? Was it like the magical equivalent of still wetting the bed when you were supposed to be way past that? As a spectrum, those were clearly miles apart in terms of severity, but she didn’t actually want to be anywhere on that. She wanted to not be someone who had problems and was doing bad or embarrassing things. “Or… will other people laugh at me if they know I did that?” she queried, hoping she could get some reassurance on that without actually having to spell out that analogy.
“May I have some water?” she asked. She had noticed the little tray that Mr. Row had brought up next to them, and assumed she was indeed permitted to have a drink. But she asked first, because that was polite. And she was a polite young lady, not a lawbreaker or a baby.
“You don’t think she made a mistake then?” she asked, when he said he was sorry about Seth. Her tone suggesting that she really didn’t have much hope that he was about to say it was possible. But she just had to ask.
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Ellie Alperton
Oh. Okay. Then?
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Killian Row
May 08, 2020 10:00 PM
Then keep going. by Killian Row
Killian really hated witches like that MACUSA lady. She didn't make anyone's life easier by acting like that and she wasn't even helpful. Walking in on those situations . . . what if the kid had done it because they needed help and needed someone from MACUSA to help them get out of an abusive home? What if they were just scared or sad or something bad had happened? What if that awful lady chewed out Ellie and then her parents beat her for it? Why in all heck would you act like such a piece of trash that a child who had performed accidental magic - after only two school years of magical education and training - in the heat of an emotional moment commie to school in an even worse state because she was so terrified of the repercussions? The lady didn't even work for the school so who was she to make it sound all ominous. No, that lady was a witch and a number of other itchy things."Some people like to make themselves enforcers of things that they don't need to be," Killian said softly. "And they try to speak for groups of people when really they're just speaking for themselves. I haven't seen any correspondence about that, although it probably would have gone to Professor Skies and she is very kind and caring and happy to help you if you need help. Also," he leaned forward and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "The last time I did accidental magic, I was twenty-three." He shifted his tone back to a normal one, not actually wanting it to sound like a hush hush sort of thing. "My brother was . . . very sick. And I was scared and I was angry that people I thought should be taking care of him weren't doing their job. I didn't understand that he just couldn't get better because he wasn't letting them help. But I shouted at someone and a stack of papers caught fire." It was a true story, although he had heard that it wasn't terribly common to experience accidental magic that old. Obviously not impossible. "That isn't a normal situation. I was afraid my brother was going to die. He didn't," he added. "But it's not anything to be embarrassed about. Plus, it's something you can learn to control better and you'll improve. Don't worry. You're not a bad witch at all and only mean people would laugh at you about it."
He nodded and went about pouring her a glass of water. Everyone deserved to feel waited on every now and again, but especially scared kids trying to figure out if they were with a scary adult or a safe adult. He wanted to be a safe adult and be mother.
When she asked about her brother again, Killian could only shake his head sadly. "I've never seen a school make a mistake like that," he said. "And it sounds like you haven't seen anything to make you think that either, right? I know that doesn't make it a lot easier. Do you want to talk about what you're feeling about that?" He really should go back to school for a psych degree. He didn't mean to put himself in this situation, but he wasn't acting as a guidance counselor right now. He was acting as an adult and the basic responsibilities of adulthood included helping young folks become emotionally intelligent adults. Not that Killian was a great example of that.
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Killian Row
Then keep going.
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Killian Row
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Ellie Alperton
May 09, 2020 7:57 AM
I think it's working by Ellie Alperton
Mr. Row did not seem to be mad. If anything, he seemed more like he was mad at the MACUSA lady. Not in a way where he was shouting. He didn’t seem like he would be very capable of that, but in the way where he was leaning in and talking softly and being her ally, and in a way that made her sort of want to hug him, except there was possibly a rule against that. Admittedly, it seemed more likely they’d send any letters about her to someone else, either Professor Skies or, she had a feeling, Professor Wright. Luckily he hadn’t mentioned Headmaster Brockert though. She had never seen him have an actual interaction with a single student, and the thought of sitting in his office trying to explain herself to him had been almost as terrifying as that of being arrested.“Really?” she asked in wide eyed surprise when he admitted to being twenty-three when he’d last done accidental magic. That definitely made it sound like something that could happen to anyone (and it slipped itself in, adding to the ideas about magic that were tipping about in the back of her brain, wanting to put themselves together into questions but not quite getting there yet). As he explained the story, she could definitely imagine that calling for accidental magic. It was a lot, lot more serious than her situation had been. Though he’d been a lot, lot older too… Her heart squeezed with fear when he said he’d thought his brother would die. She was relieved when he made sure she knew he hadn’t. There were a lot of places on the spectrum between that and being well though. “Is he okay now?” she asked tentatively. Brothers were, she thought, some of the best and most important people in the world. And when things weren’t okay with them, in any kind of a way, it was horrible.
She accepted the glass of water, and more or less the truth along with it. She had never seen Seth do anything. She didn’t think he’d seen her either. Most of her high emotions and the magic that went with them had been behind closed doors. And she thought that, when they were smaller, they might not have known what they were looking at. But if he’d had any, he would have said so. And the school would have known and invited him. And they hadn’t.
She sipped her water, considering the other suggestion. She still had a lot of other feelings about the whole situation. In some ways, she thought it might be good to get them out in the open. It also might be more efficient to get all the things that might make her cry done with together. But she was interested in something else Mr. Row had said, and she didn’t want it to get lost. And she wanted a bit more time to decide what exactly she might say, even if it meant risking crying twice.
“Maybe,” she answered, “Can you tell me a bit more about the genetics first though? And how magic changes as we grow up?” she asked.
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Ellie Alperton
I think it's working
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Killian Row
May 09, 2020 9:22 PM
I think you're doing a brilliant job. by Killian Row
"He's doing much much better," Killian assured Ellie with an easy smile. It was these sorts of questions that he'd learned long ago not to lie about. One simply couldn't be genuine about their feelings and their care and their compassion if they weren't being genuine with the bare facts of a situation. That being said, there were things which were most appropriately left out, particularly when interacting with students, and this was one of those things. He wished he could say Lorcan was okay. He wished he believed that his brother was all the way better now. But he'd seen his brother 'get sick' too many times to believe that he wouldn't go back at all.Wasn't 'sick' a funny word? It could be a euphemism for 'dying of alcohol poisoning' or it could just mean puking and stuff, or it could mean tired of something, or it could mean horrified and grossed out by something, or it could mean something was cool. He had felt sick when his brother was 'sick' and the result had almost made him actually sick, and that wasn't sick. Words were weird that way.
But Ellie was a curious one, so now it was time to do more fun things with words because no one on the planet had the right ones. "Professor Wright will know a lot more about this than me," he told her by way of disclaimer, "but I can tell you about some of the current theories."
Withdrawing a piece of paper, he drew a Punnett square. "I don't know what your school covered before Sonora, so I'll sort of start from the beginning. Things like eye color and hair color and blood type come from our ancestors, and they're passed down depending on which genes we get from which parent and where they got those genes. Genes come in pairs, so we get one from each parent, but we only get one of their two. Some genes are dominant." He wrote out the Punnett square for a parent with a blue eye and brown eye gene and a parent with two blue eye genes, marking them by which would have brown eyes and which could have blue eyes. "Because brown eyes are a dominant gene, that means you have to have two blue eye genes to get blue eyes. If you only have one, the brown eye gene will make you have brown eyes instead. That means that parents who have a blue eye gene and a brown eye gene could still have kiddos with blue eyes if they both pass on that gene. Does that make sense?"
He gave her a moment to look at the diagram, ask questions, and just mull it over. When she seemed ready to move on, he turned the page and drew another Punnett square. "There are different theories, and we don't know for sure where magic comes from. Some people think that it's some natural element that magical people can tap into, others think it's a biological gene. If that's the case . . ." He drew out a few variants of the Punnett square for magic genes - homozygous muggle parents, homozygous magic parents, and mixed parents, heterozygous parents . . . the lot. "So when two magic parents have a non-magical kid, it's likely to be a gene mutation or the result of a sickness or something like that. That could be because magic is a recessive gene, which means a kid would need two magic genes - one from each parent - to be magic. Just like blue eyes. But as far as we know, that's not the case. There's lots of people out there that we can't say for sure have two magic ancestors. But we can't say for sure. It could be like haemophilia, a bleeding disorder which tends to show up in boys more than girls because of how its linked to the genes that give us the sex markers doctors use to assign our genders at birth, except this would be linked to some magic gene. That means that it wouldn't always show up in people even I they had the gene and they could pass it on to other people." He smiled a little apologetically, knowing this was a lot. He did his best to take notes as he talked, particularly of terminology, so Ellie could take the paper with her and look it up later if she wanted to.
"Another option is that magic is the mutation. That would mean it is a bit more of something that can happen randomly, but is more likely to be passed on from ancestors with that same mutated gene - magical ancestors. So maybe your great great great great grandfather was a wizard. Or maybe your great great great great grandfather was a squib, which is a muggle with wizard parents. Then he could have had the gene but not manifested the mutation and gotten any magical abilities."
He sat back a little, hoping desperately he hadn't overwhelmed her. This stuff was just so cool and he really loved learning about it, so he hoped maybe she would too. And if she didn't, that was okay too. "Other things make it more complicated though. There have been witches and wizards who have done dark magic that does things with the soul, and it seems like their magic went with their soul. So maybe it's not just biological, and that's why we don't see it as something as predictable as eye color or something."
Another pause as he pushed the paper towards her and took a drink of water. His handwriting was generally very neat - probably the only thing neat about him, except in the sense of neat like sick because he was tooootally neato - and he thought that it would probably be a matter of content rather than handwriting that was the challenge. Which was good. "That was sort of a lot. Does that make sense? Do you have other questions about it?"
When that matter was settled, he went on. "As far as how magic changes as we get older, it seems to be a bit like a muscle, but a really specific one. Sort of like how babies have to build up strength in their tongue to be able to speak verbally but that doesn't mean they never trip over their words when they're older, except accidental magic in adults is less common than getting your words mixed up. Maybe something like holding your bladder. It can feel a little embarrassing when we make a mistake, but it happens to everyone sometimes, and the timeline for that is a lot different than learning to talk or hold your bladder. People end up doing lots of accidental magic usually until they start learning how to do magic on purpose with a wand, and then they usually do a lot less. It can still happen, but it's much less common."
One more pause. He felt like he'd been talking way too much, but she had asked a question and he wanted to give her everything he could and not condescend to think she couldn't understand it; she could, if not maybe in this one session of explaining it to her. "How are you feeling?" he grinned wryly. "Has your brain exploded yet?"
OOC - Magic gene stuff from here and mah brains because science. Also to be clear, Killian is talking about various theories and I don't mean at all to say that I have solved magic.
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Killian Row
I think you're doing a brilliant job.
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0
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Ellie Alperton
May 13, 2020 7:45 AM
Thanks. You're doing pretty well too. by Ellie Alperton
“I hope it stays that way,” Ellie offered with a sympathetic smile when Mr. Row said his brother was doing much better. Much better didn’t always mean all the way better, and that wasn’t necessarily always possible, so she just hoped for the best for him. It felt a little bit funny talking about Mr. Row’s life outside of Sonora, like he was a real person not just a grown up and a teacher. “Thank you for sharing with me,” she added, recognising that it was pretty personal that he’d done that. “It really did help.”She listened patiently and carefully as he introduced something she already knew quite well. She sort of didn’t mind because his voice was nice to listen to, and she still felt sort of jangled up inside, and even if what he was saying was really quite easy and familiar, that was kind of a good thing because it gave her more time to just sip her water and let herself calm down instead of trying to cram new ideas into her brain when it was feeling really upset.
She nodded along to show she was understanding, only stopping slightly when they got to the part about haemophilia not because it was complicated but because he’d said it was more common in boys than girls and that wasn’t entirely true. She didn’t say anything, though her finger twirled the little pastel blue, pink and white friendship bands on her wrist slightly. He knew the term ‘assigning gender at birth’ which suggested he wasn’t as clueless as some people.
She also didn’t nod to the bit about souls cos that was just… downright creepy. And opened up theology as an issue, which was a whole other can of worms.
Ellie was not convinced that it could really be like haemophilia for a couple of reasons. Firstly, they knew exactly how haemophilia was inherited. If magic followed even a remotely similar pattern, it seemed logical that someone would have worked it out by now, that the genetic tendency would be much stronger, and that some royal family would have come down with a serious case of the magics at some stage. Maybe they had. Maybe that was how they stayed in power. But also, even though she knew Mr. Row wasn’t saying it would work exactly like haemophilia, she wasn’t sure there was anything that was comparable but not linked to Xs and Ys. X-Linked inherited disorders were their own group for a reason. It was because Y chromosomes were like an X that was missing a piece, so people with an X and Y didn’t have a back up, and that was why these types of disorders showed up in them. Xs and Ys were pretty unique in the place they occupied in genetics, and she couldn’t think of anything that would work in a similar way but using a different mechanism. And given that there were XX magical people - unless someone had failed to let her in on a fairly massive and relevant secret - that just didn’t pan out.
“I understand,” she confirmed. “I think the last one is the most likely. Almost everything has a genetic influence - I mean, almost every… condition that you can think of,” she said hesitantly. She didn’t want to liken magic to a disease, although she was fairly sure he’d done that a couple of times and they both understood that it wasn’t that they meant that exactly. “But most of the time we don’t really know how. Or… like, it’s only ever part of the story. Most studies of identical twins show up a higher rate of almost everything, but rarely a hundred percent.”
She listened to his explanations about muscles, really wishing that he hadn’t chosen bladders as an example (though if that was a common way of viewing it, that definitely answered whether she’d be telling anyone else about this ever).
“No. It’s okay,” she assured him when he asked if her brain had exploded yet. “I… I sort of knew a lot of the genetic stuff already.” She paused, at a crossroads between asking one other set of questions which had been fired off in her brain by what he’d said about magical development, and between making a confession. She weighed him up, thinking about what he’d said about genetics and Professor Wright knowing more, and also how nice he’d been so far. “Which makes it even sillier that I made a mistake,” she sighed. “I… I… just got so excited because I wanted him to come here. He doesn’t like school much. Neither of us liked school before. He’s not good at reading, so it’s hard for him, but we always used to be on each other’s team - I’d help him with his reading, and he knew I was Ellie, and he’d call me that, so I had someone with me at school who was getting it right. And now… now he failed this stupid dyslexia test, as in they said he doesn’t have it, and that means that the schools might take away all his help. But I’d checked with Professor Skies and she didn’t care about him having a dyslexia diagnosis, she’d have helped him anyway. And he’d get to do all these practical things that he’s better at than reading,” it hadn’t taken long for the tears to come back, even though this was somewhat familiar ground. The unfairness of it all. The fact that it sucked. It was the more detailed version. The how and why of it all. It wasn’t a confession though.
“I… I sort of talked a lot about those things. I kept on telling him… how it would be all alright once he came here too,” she admitted, looking down at the floor, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I… I wanted to make him feel better, like he always did with me but I think I made it all worse. I… I did make it worse. He was really upset. He said a bunch of mean and angry things and he still wasn’t talking properly to me when I left for school. I feel so guilty.” She was also slightly mad at him for being a butt, but she didn’t really want the sympathy vote right now. She wanted to atone for her sins of being a bad sister.
13
Ellie Alperton
Thanks. You're doing pretty well too.
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Killian Row
May 15, 2020 9:26 PM
*big breath of relief* by Killian Row
A grin spread across Killian's face as Ellie did her part in reminding him he was speaking with an Aladren. That wasn't to say that no one else would have known about genetics and Punnett squares, or that no one else could have understood it, but he suspected Ellie was special in that way. Unfortunately, being brilliant didn't make anything easier when emotions and hopes were dashed. His heart ached both for her and her brother, and probably her parents who were in an awkward, sad position as well. It was difficult for everyone involved and really, it was hard to say who had it worst."It's not silly to make a mistake," he assured her softly. "It wasn't a mistake to get excited or to get emotional, and sometimes magic happens when we get excited or emotional. You're still learning, too. It sounds like you and your brother both had a really tumultuous summer," he added sympathetically. "I know there isn't really anything that can make the suckiness go away."
What Ellie said about just trying to help her brother and then ultimately them not being on the same speaking terms as before struck a chord with Killian. That happened often in his work because life wasn't harmonious (get it, 'cos 'chord') all the time for anyone. He knew that no two people had the same situation and it wasn't fair to say he understood, but in some ways he did. Disappointment, shame, anger, guilt . . . those were all things he'd experienced in the context of his relationship with his brother, even if his situation was much more so the fault of that brother than of nature. Genetics didn't play the same role in alcoholism as magic, although there was evidence to think that there may be some connections.
"I don't want to promise anything," he said slowly, aware that nothing was promised with social interactions, "but I think that it's maybe safe to bet that you also did a lot of good for your brother. He's disappointed and hurting right now, but he also got to see that his big sister believed in him even when schools and teachers didn't. Him calling you Ellie was still helpful and meaningful even when other people didn't, right? That's a lot different in some ways," he acknowledged. It was so important to acknowledge all the little things but then he ended up acknowledging a lot of things. It was for the best. "But I think that maybe you believing in him and the relationship that you built with him will stick with him when he goes on in his own school, too, just like it sounds like it's stuck with you. And in my experience, siblings can forgive each other for saying things they can't take back." Which was good, he thought, because he had to believe it if he was ever going to do it. "It still sucks right now probably, but I don't think it will suck forever." Hopefully.
22
Killian Row
*big breath of relief*
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