It'll be okay on At Home

Ellie Alperton

May 01, 2020 8:10 PM

It'll be okay by Ellie Alperton

“Hey, Ellie-bean!” her dad greeted her, bending to grab her into a hug that lifted her feet off the floor. “How was witch school?” he grinned.

“Still super cool,” she beamed. Or at least, wanted to beam. But there was a very noticeable absence in the welcome party. “Where are mom and Seth?” she asked, as they made their way out of the magical transportation centre, and into the much more mundane parking lot. Still, after months without car journeys (excepting that weird Tumbleweed thing) and Spotify, those things felt like a whirlwind of excitement.

“They had this feedback meeting thing – you know we said in one of our letters about Seth finally getting to go for his dyslexia testing? They have to go in to discuss the results with the specialist. Horrible timing, I know, but we didn’t exactly get to pick and choose.”

“Oh,” Ellie nodded. It had been mentioned in the letters, sure, but it was odd to think about Seth having to go and do all these reading and writing tests without her to cheer him on, especially because she knew he’d hate them. That was, she supposed, kind of the point of getting tested to see if you had like… medical-level had a problem with something. You had to do all the things that were problematic. “How’re they both feeling about it?” she asked.

“Alright, I think. Just take things as they come,” her dad shrugged, glad to have the excuse of keeping his eyes on the road. The truth was that, any of the times homework had turned into a battle, Catherine had been crying about it after Seth had gone to bed. Sure, he’d never been a keen reader, or a quick one, but for years it had just felt like he was a late starter, or just more of a sporty boy than a books boy. And sure, he’d had to do small group and get extra help from the teacher but everyone had their strengths and their weaknesses. It hadn’t felt like they’d missed something serious. He’d needed a boost, and he’d got one. And then suddenly the teachers were talking about how the boost wasn’t enough, and that he was starting to struggle, and that they should ask a specialist. And Catherine worried it was her fault. Not that he had dyslexia – if he had it, then he just… did, that was just one of those things – but for missing it. But obviously, he was not going to share that with Ellie. Especially as Catherine was worrying that she hadn’t balanced her time well enough between the two of them – that she had taken her eye off the ball with Seth precisely because she’d been having to fight battles for Ellie.

*

The second they got into the house, Ellie could tell it wasn’t good news. Her mom hugged her and smiled, but it looked like an effort, and Seth wasn’t even there.

Ellie scrambled up the stairs, and went and knocked on her brother’s door. At least she got a ‘come in.’

“Hey,” she said softly, sitting down next to him and offering an arm around his shoulders. He looked like he’d been crying, and Seth didn’t cry cos he was a really boy-type boy and it made Ellie’s insides twist. “It’s okay,” she tried to assure him. “It’s… just a word, and we all love you just the same and-”

“They said I don’t have it,” he stated.

“Isn’t… isn’t that a good thing?” Ellie asked, confused.

“No, it’s not good thing!” Seth snapped, wiping a hand furiously across his nose. “If you have a diagnosis they give you help. You should know that better than anyone. Imagine if your doctors hadn’t given you your diagnosis, and you just had to what… suck it up and try and deal with it? All the stuff like extra time on tests, or support classes - all of it, you have to have the stupid diagnosis, and I don’t have it-”

“It’s okay,” Ellie assured him. “I told you, at Sonora it doesn’t matter. I checked with Professor Skies. I put it in one of the letters to mom and dad - didn’t they tell you? They’ll give you all the help you need. It’s fine. It’ll be fine once you come to Sonora.”

13 Ellie Alperton It'll be okay 1456 1 5

Ellie Alperton

May 02, 2020 8:12 PM

I didn't mean to by Ellie Alperton

“Hey,” Catherine smiled, sticking her head into Ellie’s room. They’d had a busy couple of weeks, catching up with relatives and just having family time - and trying to give Seth some attention, without seeming like they were giving Seth special attention because he was in that mullish phase of clearly needing to be cheered up whilst not wanting anyone to talk to him. She could understand it. Every time they made active efforts to do nice things for him, it reminded him why it was necessary. “Did you want to go shopping for your new books, or shall we just owl order them?” she asked. They knew the way to the magical shopping street, and she could see it was a fun day out, but equally if Ellie didn’t need much or was over that, they could just use a day for something else.

Ellie tilted her head in confusion. She had been watching the window for weeks. She was never sure whether to watch the back window (where the owls snuck in, less likely to be noticed) or the front window (because the Elaine lady who’d come to tell her about being a witch had come to the front door). Usually, she watched both. She’d stare out of the back window over breakfast and keep an eye out of the front throughout the rest of the day. Owls didn’t really coincide with the non-magical post, but it was as good a system as any.

Her own owl had come the week before, bringing her list of books for the new school year. She guessed first year letters came at a different time. There was more to say to first years, after all. Or maybe the Elaine lady was going to come back. They all knew about magic now, so Ellie didn’t really think so, but then she would have thought it would make sense to send her and Seth’s letters together. And they hadn’t. She had kept her letter out of his sight as much as possible, not wanting to rub it in that hers was here. But her mom knew. Surely they wouldn’t bother doing the trip twice?

“Are we just reusing my first year list for Seth?” she asked. “Do you think… they don’t come back or send it out again?”

Now it was Catherine’s turn to look confused.

“I don’t know that Seth’s going with you, honey. I mean, I guess he’s not.”

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked. “He has to. He has to train his magic-”

Her mom glanced over her shoulder towards Seth’s door, stepped into Ellie’s room and closed the door behind her.

“What makes you so sure he has any?” she asked softly.

“Everyone else’s brothers and sisters go to school with them. And the Elaine lady, and a bunch of people, they talk all the time about it being genetic.”

“A lot of things are genetic. Your eyes and your hair colour are genetic. It doesn’t mean you’re both exactly the same. Maybe Seth didn’t get those genes. I hope you haven’t been promising him,” Catherine sighed. She had seen them playing magic school, of course, but she had assumed that was all it was. Play. A way for Ellie to let her brother in on her world. That had seemed so positive.

Ellie swallowed hard. She was not sure the words ‘I promise’ had ever left her lips but she had been talking as if it was definite.

“Ellie,” her mom sighed. “I mean, with you… you had all the signs right? You’d been doing stuff for years?”

“Right. But you didn’t know. You didn’t see it, and I didn’t tell you cos it all sounded crazy. I bet Seth has a bunch of stories like that,” she added, “Let’s go ask him.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” her mom shook her head, “Maybe you just need to accept that you were wrong and let it go. And apologise to him.”

But Ellie was already off her bed and heading towards her brother’s room. And she didn’t stop, even when her mom sharply called her name. She only needed to apologise if she was in the wrong. And maybe she wasn’t. They didn’t know that. Mom didn’t know everything about them. And Seth was… a calm, happy kind of person. Maybe his magic wasn’t as big or dramatic as hers had been. That made sense.

She couldn’t stand the thought that she had done something terrible, or been a bad sister, or that Seth’s summer was about to get even worse. He had to come to Sonora, he just had to, and then none of it would matter - the dyslexia test wouldn’t matter, and all the promises she’d made would all be fine because they would be true.

She didn’t even knock, she just grabbed the handle before mom could stop her. He just needed one bit, just one teeny, tiny little bit, and then it would all be okay. And she threw open the door and... there was Seth, sprawled on his bed. And the Lego plane he’d been getting more and more frustrated and despondent about was assembling itself.

13 Ellie Alperton I didn't mean to 1456 0 5