Surprises and Mysteries. on Cascade Hall

Joe Umland

February 19, 2018 9:21 PM

Surprises and Mysteries. by Joe Umland

Joe,

I hope Advanced is still ok and all that and your last letter sounded good but that’s not why I’m writing. I’m writing because I’m having a baby.

And that was how Joe came to have orange juice in his sinuses.

Coughing and sputtering and clutching at his nose, orange juice staining the front of his robes, Joe held Julian’s letter carefully away from himself to protect it as he rummaged for his wand to clean himself up. If the ink smudged, he would not be able to verify that he had just read what he thought he had just read, and it was definitely something he was going to need to verify later. Later, and probably repeatedly, because he was pretty sure it was going to be some time before he stopped half-assuming his brain had dreamed that up.

Not immediately of course but this summer. Just acting as a host right now, as John would probably say when a ghoulish mood. Thought I should tell you before I tell him so he does not tell you in some bizare way and so you can be matteroffact if/when he freaks out if he does that via letter. If I die somehow, it’s your job to make sure Baby gets to be very smart from Mom and John, but to not let them screw Baby up the ways they are Screwed Up. And this is something I need to talk to you about sereously ~~since John does not have enough~~ after your birthday, but it can wait until Christmas.

Julian had tried to cross out part of a sentence, but Joe could, with a little effort, still make out what it said. Since John did not have enough what? What did Julian need to talk to him about…’sereously’? And what in the world could Julian need to talk to him seriously about that could only be talked about after his birthday? What – both with all that and just…having a baby at all – was Julian playing at?

In his distraction, he didn’t initially hear the scraping noises. It was only when he looked up again that he realized something about the table in front of him looked wrong. It took another moment still to realize that every dish within about four feet of himself had suddenly drawn together in a neat circle around his place setting, forming ranks like a peculiar, low-walled tureen-and-plate fort.

“What just happened?” he asked the nearest person blankly, wondering if someone was pulling a joke on him.

16 Joe Umland Surprises and Mysteries. 329 Joe Umland 1 5

Georgia Kirkly

February 20, 2018 9:39 AM

Yup. I feel that. by Georgia Kirkly

It wasn’t like they really needed her. With only three names on the Teppenpaw sign up sheet, that was a lie it was getting harder and harder to tell herself. She’d sort of been technically made alternate kinda last year. Ok, so it had said that on paper and she’d done practises and then sat on the benches on match days. But she’d spent most of the year playing basic catch up on her broom skills, and she hadn’t felt like a part of the team, or at least not one that anyone really would regard as any use. And that wasn’t anyone’s fault, she was just so far behind, and the only thing that had kept her coming back at all was that Ginger was really nice and now she was gone and… And they didn’t really need her?

Except now that Zev was all caught up, she was joining a bunch of clubs, and Georgia had choir (where she wasn’t sure she fitted in) and she didn’t really feel like she was part of much, and that sucked. She was grateful that she had Zev as a best friend, but the ball had really hammered home to her how few people she actually felt like she knew. So, she supposed she could Quidditch. It was quite guy heavy which actually increased her chances of getting to know someone she could ask, and it also gave the possibility that she’d end up unconscious or incapacitated and not have to go through with it. Win-win.

Step one was approach Joe, and see if he seemed generally ok, and also didn’t laugh his head off at the idea of her rejoining. He had witnessed her at practises. Georgia’s progress had actually been pretty steady and decent, but she had a tendency to compare herself to how far behind everyone else she was, and still think that she was the comedy fat girl who was, for who knew what reason, trying to join in, and fly. Brooms were not exactly flattering to someone of her build. She looked a lot sillier sitting on one than little twiglets like the girl who played Seeker.

Luckily, for Joe’s dignity and her resolve that now was the time to talk to him, she missed the orange juice down nose incident. She took her seat as he finished reading his letter. And as the plates started to…. Do whatever that was.

“I don’t know,” she answered, baffled when he asked her what was going on. “But if you set anything on fire I’m leaving,” she added. Apparently not being on fire was a thing you couldn’t take for granted right now. And the second incident of things getting weird, even for magic school, was freaking her out a bit.

For a moment, with all the plate… stuff she had forgotten why she’d come over. But yeah… Quidditch. Did he actually want her to play, or was she a fat laughing stock? Except how exactly did you feel that subject out? She couldn’t just come out and ask that. But that was basically what it boiled down to…. Would he laugh at her if it was suggested?

“Haha!”

She blinked. Had a teacup just laughed at her? She stared. Yes, the teacup at Joe’s place setting was laughing.

“Chubby here wants to know what you think of her playing Quidditch!” it exclaimed.

“No I don’t,” she said hurriedly. “Shut up!” she snapped. She was talking to a teacup. No, worse, she was losing her temper with a teacup.

“Ridiculous, right?” the teacup asked Joe.

13 Georgia Kirkly Yup. I feel that. 346 Georgia Kirkly 0 5

Joe

February 20, 2018 12:39 PM

No kidding. by Joe

Joe did not know Georgia Kirkly personally, but the facts he did know about her – singer, the new House prefect – did make him somewhat doubt she’d have any particular reason to try to block his access to the rest of the table with porridge and yeast rolls. Of course, he has also had no particular reason to think she wouldn’t just find this amusing for…whatever reason. He had no idea what to think now.

“Uh, yeah, no worries there,” said Joe when she requested that he not set anything on fire. “I didn’t do this either,” he added, feeling fairly confident of this and gingerly pushing the dishes back away from himself, not sure which ones were hot to the touch and which ones were not.

He failed in his quest not to burn himself, though, when his teacup abruptly began laughing. Joe’s hand slipped off the handle of a tureen and onto the metal, but this was the least part of his motivation for saying “what – “ before the cup continued.

“No it is not!” he barked, mortified, when the cup began addressing him directly, and then he realized he was having a discussion of sorts with his teacup. He looked back at Georgia in open bewilderment and a little fear. “I did not do that,” he said emphatically. “I swear I did not do that – did you hear that, or am I – am I losing my mind?”

At the moment, this was not an entirely facetious question. Sam had explicitly said that John’s biological father had been mentally ill – well, she had put it a bit less…clinically than that, and the focus had all been on how she'd figured that John was just like him after John had freaked out and sent half the kitchen haywire and nearly set a chair on fire at once upon seeing her for the first time in ten years, but that had definitely been the gist of it – but Joe and John almost certainly did not have the same one. Genetically speaking they were half-brothers. Plus Joe, unlike John, had no previous history of behavior he would regard as disordered – but how would he know if it was his own behavior?

However, other people had always treated his brother a bit gingerly, whereas he had always been the Good One, the respectable one – the one who didn’t haul off losing his temper and doing magic in public and tilting at windmills and disregarding the rules based primarily on his own sense of right and wrong. He was not some kind of would-be superman living outside of society in the woods and did not ever plan to be. The rest of the family expected him to help keep John in line, not to need keeping in line himself. Whatever it was John didn’t have enough of, Joe had plenty of, despite being about four years younger. He. Was. The. Good. One. And going crazy did not happen this abruptly.

He stood up and glared around them. “Whoever’s doing this, it’s not funny,” he announced, assuming someone was just messing with Teppenpaw prefects today.

16 Joe No kidding. 329 Joe 0 5

Georgia

February 22, 2018 6:19 AM

Wish I was by Georgia

“O-ok,” Georgia nodded, when Joe assured her he hadn’t made the teacup do that. “I don’t think you did,” she assured him. To be fair, it had been her first thought, and had nearly made her just run away in sheer mortification. But Joe couldn’t have known that she was thinking about the Quidditch team (could he? Was it that obvious? Did she somehow reek of desperate wanting-to-belongness?). The things that the teacup had said had been her thoughts. But she hadn’t exactly wanted them broadcast, and whatever was going on with the rest of the place settings had happened before she got there.

“I heard it, but well… hearing a teacup yelling my anx- stuff about me means I’m not really willing to swear to my own sanity right now,” she responded, when he questioned whether he was losing his mind. He then stood up and yelled at the room at large, which she normally thought wasn’t something most sane people did but sort of felt was justified right now - her own irritating with the teacup was mounting as it continued to mock her - even if she didn’t particularly think it would help. Whoever was doing this was probably getting a kick out of seeing his reaction. And who was doing it?

Her first thought was Jozua. He was probably annoyed at her over the whole Transfiguration thing, even though all she’d done was be dragged into it against her will by Professor Skies, but teenagers could be so vindictive and petty, and he could scarcely take his annoyance out on the Deputy Head herself (although it seemed like someone in the class had tried to). And he’d know she’d been reserve last year, and might have been able to put two and two together with him approaching Joe. But Joe was his teammate, so why mess with him? Lily might be mad at her about Jozua too, but again, what did she have against Joe?

“Made any enemies?” she asked him.

Throughout the scene, the teacup had continued to mock her. For all that she’d thought Joe had told it that it wasn’t a ridiculous idea, well… there was a lot going on, and she wasn’t sure he’d meant it, rather than just… yelling at the teacup because it was being infuriating. Besides which, it was really hard to shift the idea that...

“Look at her though,” the cup was laughing, “Imagine her fat backside on a broom. It’s like having an elephant try to fly.”

“Shut up!” Georgia yelled. Afterwards, she reflected, magic might have been a reasonable solution. Finite might well have worked, or silencio. What she actually did was pick up the teacup and fling it with all her strength at the floor. Whilst the cups were charmed to be protected against everyday knocks and drops, being flung with force was a different matter, and it shattered. Georgia stared slightly horror struck, trying not see the tea pooling onto the floor as blood and herself as a psychopath who’d just committed murder.

“I don’t-” she was going to say ‘I don’t normally kill people for calling me fat’ but she hadn’t killed anyone. She had broken a cup. “I… Sorry about your tea. I’m not crazy. Usually. I wouldn’t do that to a person. Even if they- It was just a teacup. A very annoying teacup.”

13 Georgia Wish I was 346 Georgia 0 5

Professor Xavier

February 22, 2018 11:53 AM

Is everything under control here? by Professor Xavier

Nathan had first noticed the trouble brewing at the Teppenpaw table when a small fort of plates and dishes and cutlery and food formed around Joe Umland. Then Georgia Kirkly walked over, and he settled back in his seat, figuring the two prefects could handle whatever it was going on there. He kept his eye on the situation though as he took a bite of his pancakes.

It escalated quickly. He wasn’t quite sure what ‘it’ was, but it was clearly escalating if Georgia was throwing teacups on the floor. He rose, still chewing his pancake, and approached. He wasn’t intended to sneak up on them, but his mouth was still full so he waved his wand in a wordless reparo that cleaned up the broken ceramic before anyone could get hurt. He hoped they had seen him coming so the pieces moving about on their own and recombining into their original configuration didn’t startle or concern them.

He then swallowed his bite of pancake and cast a verbal summoning charm to call the teacup to him before someone stepped on it and broke it all over again. Once that was secured, he waved his wand again to clean up the spilled tea, so nobody stepped in it, slipped, and fell.

“What happened?” he asked his two prefects, more baffled than accusatory, because - Joe’s incident with the Headmaster notwithstanding - Joe and Georgia were normally calm responsible individuals unlikely to start yelling and throwing things without provocation. He wordlessly held out the teacup toward Joe who, a, hadn’t recently invoked violence upon it, and, b, had been the person originally drinking from it, as best as he could tell.

1 Professor Xavier Is everything under control here? 28 Professor Xavier 0 5

Joe

February 22, 2018 2:32 PM

I have cause for doubt, sir. by Joe

Joe thought, he really did, but he honestly could not think of anything he had done recently which would make another person consider him an enemy. “No,” he said. “Unless you count the Headmaster, but that was years ago,” he amended. Not that distaste couldn’t have an incredibly long memory, but he didn’t read Brockert that way. If Brockert wanted to get him, he’d probably play it a lot more subtly than this. “Have you?”

Before she could answer, though, their current problem chirped up again, and this time, Joe recoiled and automatically felt for his own wand at the violence of Georgia’s reaction to it. A moment later it occurred to him that this was stupid – she hadn’t thrown the cup at him, after all, so….

“Right,” said Joe, struggling to remember his sense of proportion. It was a weird morning, not helped by his having been startled before anything else even started, but there were – logical explanations. Even if it was slightly unnerving that Georgia felt the need to clarify that she wouldn’t smash a person if she had the chance.

“I’ll definitely agree with you about very annoying,” he said.

He took out his wand, thinking to repair the cup and clean up the spill, but before he could, it began reassembling itself without his involvement. Then he winced when he recognized a teacher’s voice Summoning it. Oh, no; he was going to catch it now….

Professor Xavier’s tone suggested he was at least willing to accept the possibility that Joe and Georgia had not decided to become public enemies for the heck of it this morning, though, and Joe latched onto that sliver of hope for his reputation even as he very gingerly reaccepted the teacup, half-afraid it would begin talking again, or bite him, or melt, or something else, because that was how this morning was going apparently.

“I have no idea, sir,” he said. “I was reading a letter from home, and when I finished it, I looked up and I was surrounded – and then my teacup started, er, being rude to Georgia – and I’m pretty sure I don’t have any enemies?” This was stated as more of a question than Joe should have liked, but he could hardly accuse the Headmaster and he really couldn’t think of anyone else who’d have it in for him. He could have bought another Quidditch captain doing it to him the morning before a match or something, maybe, if that person was sufficiently motivated and petty, but today was just a completely ordinary day, or had started out that way.

16 Joe I have cause for doubt, sir. 329 Joe 0 5

Georgia

February 23, 2018 6:46 AM

For a given value of 'control' roughly equal to 'NOPE' by Georgia

Joe’s main enemy was the headmaster? Wow. That was hardcore. She did recall hearing a rumour that Joe had punched the man once, but had dismissed that as being completely wild and crazy. But perhaps it was true. Still, Headmaster Brockert deciding to mess with both her and Joe because of something several years back made about as much sense as… well, any of today, where apparently making sense wasn’t vital part of things, but she still very much doubted that was what was going on.

Georgia flinched slightly as the cup merged back together, but as it didn’t start laughing at her again, she actually felt slightly better about it not being broken, and then Professor Xavier made his presence known and continued tidying up her mess. Oh. Oops…

What happened?

His tone was gentle, and she was glad it was their own Head of House, but she still felt slightly inclined to panic under the scrutiny of a teacher, having just yelled and destroyed school property. Well… sort of. It was undestroyed now, so maybe that was less of an issue. But she had yelled and thrown things, which was neither good nor prefectly.

“Uh… yeah. What Joe said, more or less” glad that he’d gone first in trying to explain, “Like… I just came to talk to him, and then his teacup- but it wasn’t his fault,” she added, not meaning to link Joe to the guilty party, “the teacup started calling me-” she blinked firmly. She was not going to add crying in the middle of Cascade Hall to the list of horrifically embarrassing things that had happened to her this year. “Like, Joe said,” she repeated, feeling he had said everything far more neatly and more like a reasonable human than she was going to manage. “Uh… sorry for breaking it,” she added.

“Me neither, specifically,” she shrugged, when Joe mentioned his lack of enemies. It was one thing to think that Jozua and Lily wanted to mess with her and another entirely to take that accusation to a teacher. “I mean, I doubt the... cliquey ones like me,” she said, meaning the snooty Purebloods but not quite sure that was a term she could use in front of a teacher, “but it seems a bit random that they’d start picking on me now. They never have before.” And the cup had known things that she didn’t think other people knew…

13 Georgia For a given value of 'control' roughly equal to 'NOPE' 346 Georgia 0 5

Nathan Xavier

February 28, 2018 11:01 AM

Keep calm and carry on by Nathan Xavier

Nathan listened to first Joe then Georgia explain the situation with varying degrees of clarity. The take away seemed to be that someone had charmed Joe’s teacup to say mean things about Georgia, but neither knew who was actually responsible. It seemed to be a growing theme among the Intermediate classes. “There does seem to be a prankster on the loose this year,” he told them, though Georgia, being an intermediate herself was perhaps a bit more aware of that than Joe who had moved up a level this year. “If you figure out who it is, or even just learn any clues, the staff is also looking into this.”

He gave a stern look around (of course, he was Head of Teppenpaw, so he wasn’t entirely sure how well it was interpreted as such among the students nearby) then noted to his prefects, “The incident seems past,” with a nod toward the now normal and inert teacup. “I’ll let you get back to breakfast. If anything else comes up, finite does seem sufficient to undo this prankster’s work so far.” He tried not to look too pointedly at Georgia as he said this. Her method to end the prank had worked; it just . . . had been a bit messier than it really needed to be. He certainly didn’t want her to think he was chastising her for stopping the heckling.

With that, he returned back to his pancakes, keeping a closer eye than usual on that part of the table in case another incident occurred.

1 Nathan Xavier Keep calm and carry on 28 Nathan Xavier 0 5

Joe

February 28, 2018 11:53 PM

And this year, just permanently keep the kettle on. by Joe

Joe tried not show any particular reaction after hearing all the things Georgia had to add to his description of what had happened this morning and what they didn’t know about what had caused it, but it made him feel sorry for her. The cliquey ones, using the wording ‘don’t like’ as opposed to the more neutral ‘barely register,’ potentially being picked on...of course, she was saying that it didn’t seem likely, but still.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, though, when Professor Xavier mentioned a prankster on the loose. There was? Who could it be? His first thought, somewhat guiltily - the man was his friend, after all - was of Jozua, but Jozua had mentioned feeling the need to walk the line now that he had a prefect’s badge at the Feast. Plus, Jozua had never really targeted other people, just blown stuff up for the fun of it - Joe often thought it was fortunate that Jozua was his friend rather than John’s - and Joe couldn’t believe he would make the teacup say the stuff it just had. That had to be someone else, not anyone in Teppenpaw. He was living proof that not all Teppenpaws were exactly cream puffs, but still. There were limits. That had crossed them.

“Of course, sir,” he said neutrally when Professor Xavier asked them, indirectly, to look for suspicious behavior and report it if they spotted any. He sort of hoped, despite whoever it was having decided to isolate him from the table, that he didn’t collect any clues. If someone was targeting the prefects then obviously he wanted that ended, but on the other hand, nobody liked a narc, and Joe wanted to be Head Boy.

As Professor Xavier retreated, Joe smiled a bit wanly at Georgia. “Well, if we weren’t awake before, we are now,” he joked. “You said you were coming to talk to me before...the table went crazy?” he asked.

16 Joe And this year, just permanently keep the kettle on. 329 Joe 0 5

Georgia

March 02, 2018 8:56 AM

Not sure I want to see another cup of tea as long as I live by Georgia

Georgia nodded her assurances that she would keep an eye out, whilst definitely resolving to keep her head down and avoid noticing as much as possible. They were being pranked without having done anything, as far as either of them could recall or was willing to admit. It would be way worse if they turned anyone in to a teacher. \r\n

\r\n“Ha, right,” Georgia agreed, when Joe mentioned being awake. “Think I’ll stick to coffee or just feeling fuzzy headed though, thanks,” she added. She didn’t really like coffee, unless it was like… one of those whipped cream syrup filled varieties that was basically a coffee flavoured milkshake, but she had heard people talk of its magical wake up properties. \r\n

\r\nShe blushed slightly as he asked if she’d come to talk to him. She couldn’t remember specifically saying that she had, actually, but the pre-teacup events of the morning were a bit… scrambled. \r\n

\r\n“Oh. Uh… Just coming to say hi, really,” she tried, though as she’d never ‘just come to say hi,’ to Joe before, that probably sounded very suspect. “Being…. Prefectly. Like when you’re neighbourly. But with prefects…” she attempted to give some explanation but was pretty sure she was just sounding stupider by the second. \r\n

\r\n“Not that I really want to dwell on it but… uh… did you stick up for me to- to the teacup? I mean, last time we ever mention it, I swear, but just... if so, I wanted to say thanks,” she explained, mostly addressing her plate. This morning was way too absurd, and she sudden;y found herself smiling in spite of it all... “And how is it that ‘did you stick up for me to the teacup’ is a sentence I have any reason to be using?” she laughed. Sometimes, you had to laugh….\r\n

13 Georgia Not sure I want to see another cup of tea as long as I live 346 Georgia 0 5

Joe

March 02, 2018 1:34 PM

Try tea glasses? by Joe

“Not really options for me,” joked Joe. “Dad drinks coffee, but I think my mom would disown any of us kids who gave up tea.” Especially if they then took up coffee. Tea stimulated and soothed all at once. Coffee was a pure stimulant. With four sons underfoot, the last thing Mom had really wanted her kids to have growing up was pure stimulants.

Being prefectly. Like being neighborly. Right. It didn’t sound very convincing, but this morning had been weird and he could hardly fault her for not being totally coherent.

Joe flushed slightly, a little embarrassed by the characterization of his actions, when Georgia thanked him for sticking up for her to his teacup. He realized he was still holding the offending article in question and put it down on the table. He laughed with her a little when she noted how bizarre the statement she’d just made was. “Yeah, it’s...not something I would ever expect anyone to thank me for,” he admitted. “You’re welcome, though,” he added politely. “I don’t know who did that, but - that was out of line. Plus I think you’d look fine on a broom, actually.”

It occurred to him that just saying that meant he was a horrible person. He was taking something dreadful that had just happened to her and kinda using that for recruitment. Still, though - that was what the attack had been about, and while he wasn’t even going to go through the technicalities, she was a cute girl and wouldn’t have deserved that even had she not been. “I don’t know where whoever did this got that, but you’re welcome on our team any time if you want to be,” he said.

16 Joe Try tea glasses? 329 Joe 0 5

Georgia

March 02, 2018 8:01 PM

Are those like beer goggles but for like... alertness? by Georgia

“Wow, your family sound strict,” Georgia joked when Joe mentioned that tea was basically mandatory. “I don’t really like coffee much either so I guess I’ll just go for being a bit dozy sometimes.

“Thank you,” she replied, when he very earnestly said whoever had called her names was out of line. “That’s… that’s really nice to hear…” She was pretty sure she was blushing. It wasn’t that people here were horrible, with the exception of this morning’s teacup, but she just… knew. She wasn’t one of Those Girls, she wasn’t the brightest, she wasn’t the most attractive… She was prefect now, which in spite of all her grumbling about it was pretty good because she hadn’t really thought she was particularly… anything to anyone, except to Zev. It was nice when anyone paid her attention, in any positive way. He even went further than that, and encouraged her to join the team.

“Really? O-ok. Cool. I mean, I was thinking about it, but I wasn’t sure…” you needed me. Wanted me? “But if you think that’d be ok, then sure. Sign me up. I guess you’re looking for a Keeper mostly?” she asked. Ok, so the team was actually pretty much half empty, which meant they were looking for a few things. She hadn’t considered Beater because Joe and Jozua both played Beater and were still here (she hadn’t looked in detail at the sign up sheet and seen Jozua’s defection), Eden played Seeker, was damn good at it, and Georgia wouldn’t have wanted that pressure even if it had been open. Chaser seemed chaotic. She was comfortable with the idea of being Keeper, nice and out of the way.

13 Georgia Are those like beer goggles but for like... alertness? 346 Georgia 0 5