Evelyn's love of the Gardens had only grown over the course of the term, as she was doing more self-reflection than she would normally have done with Professor Wright's guidance and she needed a place of her own to disconnect. Not that the Gardens were really her own, as she had met Ness here, spent time with Heinrich here, and her own Common Room was located here. Still, it was more like home - a label she still applied to the Oregon coast - than anywhere else at Sonora, despite the sad lack of trees worth climbing.
Walking through the Gardens with her eyes on the foliage, looking for caterpillars and other cute things, with one of Professor Wrights' book suggestions under her arm and a song coming out in a hum, Evelyn almost didn't notice Cleo at first. She immediately felt as if she should turn around and leave as it was no secret that Cleo and Isaac had broken up - news traveled even across years it seemed - and Evelyn didn't want to interrupt the girl if she was needing some space. At the same time, she was working on communicating for herself better and couldn't help wondering if others would benefit from that as well. Plus, she'd always felt some sort of draw to Cleo. It wasn't something she could really explain, but she just found that she always sort of wanted to be nearer her when she was around, and she always sort of wondered whether her hair was as soft as it looked. Evelyn didn't like to think about what that might mean, so she pushed the thoughts aside and focused on being brave.
"Hi," she said, not bothering with a more creative greeting. "Would you like some company?"
22Evelyn StonesI am worried. [Tag Cleo.]1422Evelyn Stones15
Breakfast. Breakfast was a thing Cleo was going to try having today. She did not, in the typical sense, want it. She did not feel hungry, only the permanent stomach clenching sickness she always felt right now. But, on some level, her body presumably needed it. She would feel hungry occasionally, and always at inconvenient moments, such as the middle of class, when she could do nothing about it. Then, by the time lunchtime rolled around, the feeling was gone, replaced with more anxiety or numbness. Her magic was also all over the place lately. Generally, her spells had been underwhelming, when she could even get it together to try, but sometimes she was back to producing fiery results. She was sure there were all sorts of reasons for that. Her mood. Her will to do anything. Not feeding her body probably didn't help though. She wasn't sure why she cared enough to even try fixing things when they were so far past broken that she barely had all the pieces any more. But eating was simple, and in her control. Or it should have been. But the thought of food and people made her feel sick, so here she was instead.
She had been sitting on the bench, telling herself she was collecting herself and then she would go in, but she knew it was much nicer here than in the hall. In as much as she had any kind of preference right now, she would rather be doing this.
It could not, of course, last. This time, it fractured in the form of Evelyn Stones, who Cleo knew from the gardening club. Asking if she wanted company. Cleo did not. Still, she did not expect that to be listened to. The only person who had listened to her recently was Isaac. She had told him to go. And he had. She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders, indicating that she didn't really care either way, sure that Evelyn would do what she wanted.
13Cleo JamesI don't think I can help389Cleo James05
Cleo reminded Evelyn of a changed animal, which she felt sort of bad about. She was sure that if she were to express this comparison - which would be weird anyway - than Cleo would probably think it was because she was half-veela. It was not. It was because she looked trapped, sacred, and tired. Evelyn had seen a similar expression on Malikhi's face when his dad had died, and she had felt a similar feeling several times. It was the sort of expression that pointed to a an emotion that didn't have a face to go with it, and so emptiness and pain was the closest you could get. Her own experiences seemed markedly different than Cleo's though. She didn't know that much about Cleo on the whole of it, but something about the way she seemed to be caving in on herself, as if self-protection was all she had left even if self-preservation was no longer a priority, told her they had been through different things.
However, finding out would have required her to talk about what she had experienced, and that wasn't something she wanted to do. What if they had been through exactly the same thing? What would talking about it do? That was something she hadn't told anybody, and didn't plan to tell anybody if she could help it. She didn't even let herself think about it. Worse, what if they hadn't been through the same thing, and then Evelyn laid it all out on the table for nothing? Either way, it wasn't worth it.
Evelyn took a seat several feet away from Cleo, just in case. She didn't make eye contact and made a point of being comfortable with the silence that ensued. She couldn't really change whether Cleo was comfortable or not, but she had found that people who were comfortable with silence made it more comfortable for everyone else too. At least, she hoped that was the case. Maybe that was why she liked Professor Wright better than Professor Brooding. The potions professor had the sort of personality that filled the silence all up, even when she wasn't saying anything.
"I'm sorry something bad happened," Evelyn said quietly. "You probably don't want to talk about it, and that's okay if you don't want to. But if you do want to, I'm a good listener."
Wondering what Heinrich would say, since Heinrich was the best listener, Evelyn tucked one hand into her robe pockets to grasp at the Quaffle rock that made her feel a little bit warmer. With the other, she propped her book on her lap, pausing for just a moment in case Cleo did want to say anything. If she didn't, Evelyn would just read and sit and listen to everything else in the world but Cleo.
22Evelyn StonesI don't think I can either.1422Evelyn Stones05