With midterm looming ever closer on the horizon, Charlie could feel the first half of the year winding down. There was still plenty left: classes, assignments to complete, and Crotalus' first Quidditch game of the season wasn't until the weekend, but there was that sort of lethargy in the air of students who'd been too long at work, mingled with the anticipatory excitement that midterm would bring. For most people, anyway. Charlie was hoping to visit Lita at some point, but aside from that she didn't have any plans. She thought about spending two weeks in the freezing winter of Chicago, and it didn't thrill her. Okay, so snow was fun, and she wouldn't mind hanging out with her brothers a bit, but otherwise icy winds and a holiday-packed hotel sounded like the nightmare she knew it would be. She had considered staying at school, but that seemed even worse, somehow.
As she'd finished her classes early that day (Wednesday afternoons were the best for anyone who didn't take CoMC or Divination), Charlie had already finished her homework from the morning classes and didn't even have a Quidditch practise that evening. She had, essentially, a few hours in which to entertain herself, and as she was very aware of the bitter cold she would be experiencing in a few short weeks, she decided to enjoy the Sonora sun while the opportunity presented itself. So, armed with a blanket and her shades, she headed out into the labyrinth and settled in the first sunny clearning she found. The floor was suitably soft, so she spread her blanket on the ground and lay down on her back. It was early evening, and the sun was still comfortably warm. Charlie kicked off her cork sandals, revealing pink polished toe-nails and bare feet. She was wearing a plain red sundress that she'd tucked round her legs in case of a passing breeze, and a necklace made of sea shells to futher encourage that summery feeling. Her hair was loose, splayed out on the blanket beneath her head, as Charlie placed her shades over her eyes and let out a sigh of relaxation.
Only two minutes later and she was restless. honestly, Charlie didn't know how people could just go and lie in the sun on vacation - she just got bored so easily. The sixth year took out her wand from the small shoulder bag she'd brough down with her and idly practised conjuring, instead. She'd made a red vase and some daffodils to fill it (she didn't care that it was the wrong time of year), a couple of small yellow birds and a decorative cage to put them in, and was just considering making an attempt at a bed or matress to lie on, when a shadow fell across her face. Charlie turned her head to see the source of the shadow, and smiled brightly as she saw it was Daniel. "Good afternoon," she greeted him.
0Charlotte AbbottWaiting is so dull135Charlotte Abbott15
Since meeting with Professor Fawcett, Daniel had been trying, at least once a week, preferably twice if he kept to his schedule, to spend some time doing something for himself. Something fun. Something restful. Something that had no ulterior motives or political advantages. Something he enjoyed doing just for the sake of doing it.
Today, he was taking a walk in the gardens.
It was pretty here, there were nice statues to look at, and the weather was agreeable despite the approaching midterm. And he liked walking. It was good to get out and use his own two feet once in a while. Even Quidditch practice was spent sitting down.
He was just contemplating breaking into an easy jog when he came to a sudden stop as his path opened out into a clearing. He wasn't entirely sure when Charlie became a Teppenpaw and started surrounding herself with yellow birds and flowers, but there she was. Though, to be fair, her dress and the vase were red.
And her feet were bare. And she painted her toenails. Cute.
He shook himself and tore his eyes away from her toes as she greeted him, and he smiled back. "Good day," he returned, not certain if it was still 'afternoon' or if the hour now counted as 'evening' but he figured he was safe with 'day' since the sun was still up, at least for the moment. Then he remembered Charlie wouldn't care and his smile turned a little more rueful.
Changing the subject before she could accuse him of spending too much time with Quentin, he asked, "So, are you expecting someone," he looked around at the birdcage and flowers, "or did you just want company for the sunset and you were making your own?" The first option suddenly seemed far more likely than the second - this was Charlie, after all - and he hurried to assure, "I can go and avoid this area if you are expecting someone."
He wondered if it was James. It better not be James. Charlie was too good for James.
1Daniel Nash IIResolving your boredom130Daniel Nash II05
Did anyone really sad 'good day' anymore? Apparently Daniel did, and from having known their year of Aladrens long enough, Charlie suspected he had avoided using 'good afternoon' as she had done because it was almost certainly getting into evening by now, and although he could have said 'good evening' that would have practically been a contradiction of her statement, which surely only a pedant would have done. She was about to tell him that he'd been spending too much time with Quentin when he spoke again, asking if she was expecting someone.
"No," Charlie replied, at first surprised by the question. Then she sat up and got a better look at the surroundings she had created for herself, and understood a little better. She laughed as she repeated, "No, not expecting anyone." She only just about managed to refrain from asking him not to go - there were less desparate-sounding ways of asking a person to stay. "I was just practising my conjuring because I got bored." she explained, and held up her wand as if to prove her point. Then she banished the birds and their cage because they were chirpy and annoying. She decided to leave the flowers for the time being.
"Here," Charlie shuffled over and patted the space of blanket next to her. "Feel free to join me, if you like. Otherwise I'm only minutes away from a menagerie." She smiled, apparently amused by herself, although it wasn't especially far from the truth. "What brings you to these parts, anyhow?" She didn't think Daniel spent a great deal of time in the gardens. On the pitch, certainly, and possibly he went running or something, she could maybe see him doing that, but Aladrens didn't just wander round the labyrinth of an evening. Admittedly she was probably breaking a stereptype, too, but she'd come out for the sunshine, and that was definitely both valid and understandable.
He was irrationally relieved to discover she was not waiting for James. He was aware that it was irrational and wondered if the problem was with James or with Charlie. He honestly kind of hoped that it was Charlie, because being upset that she was seeing another guy would be unexpected but at least understandable and sane given that she was a very pretty girl, a good friend, and someone he had once (probably) dated. If the reaction was over James, that was just petty.
Unfortunately, he kind of suspected it had very little to do with Charlie herself.
More fortunately, she banished the birds, and he let out a sigh of relief as the building headache he hadn't even been consciously aware of dissipated. He let the thought of James and Charlie slide away with it. "Thank you," he said, grinning a little as he rubbed at his temple in an exaggerated way.
He sat down on her blanket at the invitation to do so, and smiled, "Then I will save you from that," he said, and continued to exist, thus preventing the appearance of a menagerie.
When she asked what he was doing in the Garden, he shrugged, did not blush if only because that was an involuntary reaction he'd learned how to make voluntary, and admitted, "I've been working on making some Me-Time once or twice a week. Breathing room. Fresh air. Get out of Aladren and the Library for a bit. Besides, walking's good for the constitution."
He blinked, replayed that last line in his head, and said, "Oh my God, I've become my grandfather."
Daniel accepted the invitation to sit down, and the moment he was seated beside her, Charlie almost wished she could take back the invitation. As if classes weren't hard enough, being alone with Daniel was probably going to be maddening. In fact she already thought she might be going a bit crazy and he's only been there a couple of seconds. Her immediate thought was of Lita's repeated reminders that she had agreed not to do anything about her interest in daniel until after midterm. So, she should just sit there and be normal, especially as far as Lita was concerned, because if she didn't just sit there and behave herself and did something she wasn't supposed to, then she'd have to tell Lita about it and her best friend would give her that 'I told you so' look. See, Charlie even knew what would happen. But then she'd been really good this term so far, and midterm was still ages away - or it felt ages away in this context when only a few moments ago Charlie knew it had felt right around the corner - and her resolve was weakening. She was even doing that 'what's the worst that could happen' train of thought. She could casually ask daniel how he was going in figuring out who he was, she could start talking about some other boy and gauge his reaction, or she could just do what she was wishing she'd gone and done at the end of the concert, and just go ahead and kiss him. The very worst that could happen was that daniel would stop speaking to her, which actually did sound sort of sad.
In fact, there was a third hand, which there oughtn't have been, as Charlie definitely only had two hands. She'd thought the options were 'do something now' or 'wait until after midterm' whereas a third idea had taken up seed. She hadn't anticipated it, and was all the more surprised to discover that it involved never doing something. At least with Daniel. Here they were sitting in the gardens together, and he was explaining why he was out in the gardens, and it was nice. Just as friends. Maybe there didn't need to be anything more to it, after all - sure Daniel was incredibly attractive and Charlie'd definitely spent a good portion of class this week fantasizing about him, but that didn't actually mean she needed to date him when they were actually such good friends anyway. She already considered him to be her best friend after Lita.
Of course this third option didn't help at all, and only added a further amount of confusion into the mix. Hence Charlie didn't laugh quite as loudly as she would have done at Daniel's grandfather comment as she might have done when less distracted by her own thoughts. In fact it was more a short chortle than an actual laugh. "You could have just said you were walking," she pointed out, finding it easy as ever to make fun of him - he was even doing it for her these days. "Though I'm glad to hear you've been taking Me-Time," she said, finding her head clear and re-focus as she continued to talk. "All work and no play makes Aladrens go crazy."
Daniel chuckled a little at her joke that 'All work and no play makes Aladrens go crazy,' but only a little, because he wasn't entirely sure she was joking. It was that very concern that had made him start taking the Me-Time in the first place. But was the problem less with him personally, and more with his entire House?
He considered his Quidditch teammates and his roommates and any other Aladrens he knew or had heard tell of.
Able to count the ones that he would consider completely sane on one hand, and having a fair number of examples that would definitely classify as less than that, he concluded that there was a reasonable possibility that Charlie was actually being serious.
"It's an Aladren thing, you think?" he asked, uncertain how that worked. Despite the preponderance of Careys on his team, the whole House was certainly not related to each other, so it couldn't be heredity. Therefore, it must be something in the Aladren traits, so if it was one of the ones he had adopted to make himself fit in at the school, he could just drop it and then he could be sane again.
Of course, if it was the one that had gotten him put there in the first place, that wasn't quite as much of an option. Or, if it was a trait he'd grown to like, he would just have to learn to manage being crazy. Apparently by taking Me-Time.
The first step, though, was to isolate the crazy inducing trait to determine if it was one he needed.
"Logical shouldn't be a problem, unless you take it to Quentin's extreme," he considered aloud. "Strong-willed . . . maybe. Finds solutions; that should actually help resolve the crazy not induce it. Love of learning; nothing wrong with that. Independence; eh, could be. You think it's strong-willed independence that does it?"
1DanielYou only say that because it was.130Daniel05
"It's an Aladren thing, you think?" Daniel said. Charlie thought about it for a moment. She'd said it off-handedly, but there was often truth behind a stereotype. Then again, Pecaris were notoriously less-than-sane, and certainly more than one student from Crotalus had taken apparent leave of her senses while Charlie had been at the school. However, she didn't think the reason for insanity in other Houses was over-working, something that an Aladren was far more likely to do to. Another thing that an Aladren was far more likely to do was to take an offhand statement and try to analyse it, the way Daniel was now doing. "You think it's strong-willed independence that does it?"
"Um, no," Charlie replied, obviously enjoying the entertainment this analysis had provided. "I think it's the tendency to read too much into something," she said pointedly. Actually she had a personal theory on the Aladren traits of being logical and problem solvers, which was that they were often incapable of using these capabilities to solve their own problems. They might be able to solve the most complicated academic or political problems, but stick them in a social conundrum and suddenly all that logic is useless. Of course this was just a theory and Charlie had yet to conduct any conclusive research on the matter, but there were many instances in the recent past that had served to prove her right. Regardless, Aladrens did read too much into stuff, which made it difficult to talk to them sometimes. If they could just relax and not take things so literally it might make everyone's lives a bit easier.
"There's like, no gray area with you guys. Everything's black or white, yes or no, this or that. Chill out a bit, you can take it easy from time to time, you know?" she said, not intending to go off on a rant but it seemed to be happening without her consent. "Sometimes things don't have to be so clear cut, just go with whatever works, don't think about everything so godamn much and for Merlin's sake pay attention to things around you from time to time." She was aware she wasn't making a great deal of sense, and was starting to feel like she might not be talking about Aladrens in general any more, either. "You're just so wrapped up in failing at solving your own problems, you don't even -" She cut herself off suddenly, as she realized she was saying these things outloud, and she looked quite surprised with herself. A split second later and she was the most embarrassed she'd been in a long while. She sat silent for a moment or two, not able to properly look Daniel in the eye. She cleared her throat and said, "Or maybe it's the independence, like you said."
So how can there be such a thing as over-practiced?
by Daniel
Daniel blinked at Charlie's pointed comment that he was reading too much into an off-hand remark. And, at the risk of reading too much into that, he wondered if maybe she wasn't onto something there as well. It certainly explained the frustration some people had when dealing with Quentin anyway. Daniel's roommate took it to the extreme, but many Aladrens were inclined to look at things more deeply and potentially more literally than might have been intended by the speaker.
He didn't mention this, though, partly because she was already implying he was making a mountain out of an anthill, but mostly because she hadn't stopped talking and he thought her grievances against 'Aladrens' might also be equally personal as her first pointed comment.
"I'm trying to chill!" he defended himself against the onslaught. And while that was true, and was, in fact, the very reason he was out here in the gardens at all, the rest of what Charlie did hit their mark. Her sad attempt to bring the conversation back to the relatively lighter contemplation of the effect of independence on sanity was hardly worth noting.
He scowled and looked away, toward one of the hedges surrounding the clearing. "It's hard, okay? I like having clearly labeled boxes to stick everything in. I don't do well with uncertainty. It makes me nervous and fear the worst. I don't expect good things to happen. I learned to kill hope a long time ago. So I need to know things are good or I assume the world is ending."
He refused to blame his parents for his problems, but he doubted Charlie would be as willing to take things as they came if her mom was on her thirteenth husband or if her parents tended to change personalities depending on what role they were currently portraying 60 or more hours a week. Another reason Daniel worried for Dad and Barry's relationship at the end of the series was that Matt Bealer was a really good guy and if his next role wasn't so nice, it might change things between them. Barry had only ever dated Dad as Matt Bealer.
Also, Dad had only ever been Primary Caregiver Dad as Matt Bealer, as well, so Daniel was additionally kind of worried for his own relationship with his father. Would they still be Dan and Danny Nash as Daniel knew them, if they weren't also Matt and Nate Bealer?
But Charlie had seemed to be building toward something specific in her accusations before she'd suddenly cut herself off, so he asked, "So what didn't I notice while the World After Sonora was ending?"
1DanielSo how can there be such a thing as over-practiced?130Daniel05
Judging by the fact that Daniel had raised his voice at her - something she couldn't remember him ever having done before - he hadn't been impressed by what charlie'd had to say. She could hardly blame him, she hadn't exactly been sugar-coating her accidental onslaught. Although she wasn't sorry to have said it. Embarrassed, a little, yes, but more that she'd lost control rather than she'd said the things she had. She could have found a nicer way to make her point, a way that hadn't ended up with Daniel scowling at the hedge. Charlie looked down at her toenails and wiggled her toes a little. It was sort of funny, in the way that awkward moments could be completely and inappropriately hilarious. Charlie managed not to let her amusement show on her face, because she was sure that wouldn't have gone down well. She would still claim it was funny though, them sitting in the garden on a blanket at sunset and being close to falling out with each other. Maybe she just shouldn't ever spend time with Daniel in the gardens - it didn't seem to work out well for them.
Daniel was explaining that he didn't do well with uncertainty, and Charlie had to concede that maybe it wasn't for everyone. If someone told her she had to be more rigid and predictable she'd probably tell them where to go, and none too politely. It was probably therefore just as well that he turned a fairly serious argument into a mockery of such with his dramatic assumption that the world would end. She liked that he was dramatic - sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was really adorable, actually, but it was so much a part of him that Charlie would miss it if he stopped. So even as she sort of wanted to reply that the world didn't revolve him and it certainly wouldn't end if he acted on impulse every once in a while, she would much prefer to continue hearing allusions that the world did revolve around him. Instead she went for a fairly lame, "I know. I'm sorry." That wasn't just that she knew he was a little eccentric and needed his labelled boxes, but also that she knew he was trying to learn how to relax, as his Me-Time demonstrated.
Despite looking like they were arguing to the casual observer (metaphorical casual observer, as Charlie hadn't seen or heard anyone else near them), they seemed to actually be okay as Daniel asked what it was he hadn't noticed, which she thought just went to show that they really were good friends. So while the emotional part of her brain thought it would be more satisfying to reply with a sulky 'nothing', the mature part of her that was comfortable with who she was knew that wouldn't get her anywhere. So she placed her hands on the ground behind her and leant back. She sighed. Apparently she wasn't going to wait until after midterm after all. Lita was going to freak out.
"You missed a whole lot," she told him matter-of-fact-ly, with half a smile. She stretched her legs out in front of her and crossed one ankle over the other. She was stalling, trying to find the words that would have best possible positive impact and worst possible negative impact - it was a tricky balance to strike. "See, you might remember that a few years ago I decided we were too young to date, and that maybe we should try it again when we were older." She looked at him, as much to judge his reaction as knowing that her big brown eyes could do a lot for her in moments like these. "I'm ready," she said, "and I was wondering if you'd ever get there." She wasn't going to ruin that with a lame follow-up that might let her get out of jail-free but would sound awful - something along the lines of 'but if you don't want we can keep being friends.' Too cheesy for her tastes; besides, she thought that much was practically implied.
Daniel nodded, accepting the apology, though he wasn't exactly sure what she was apologizing for.
Making him defensive? That was his own failing. He should be able to take criticism better than that. It wasn't like he didn't know his attempts to relax were of limited success at best. He was frustrated with himself, not her.
Telling him to be someone he's not? Hadn't he been doing that for the last six years already? Maybe? Possibly? Charlie was one of his best friends - very possibly his only close friend. He'd already told her that he could intentionally shape his own personality. She was entitled to offer advice for character refinements, and while it remained his right to politely reject the ones that didn't fit, it wasn't right to snap at her.
He took a deep breath in, and out, and he was calm again. His gaze, while swinging back from the hedge to Charlie passed over her feet again and he was once again momentarily diverted by the painted toenails.
The thought didn't last long, because Charlie was talking again and he had to stare at her face-to-face in completely astounded bafflement. She was certainly right about one thing. He hadn't noticed that at all.
"You-I-" he stopped because he had nowhere for that sentence to go, and he wished he had a script, except he didn't think any character who blundered his way into this position would be any more articulate.
He took in a deep breath, forced himself to not look away, and said, "Charlie. I like you. I really like you." She had to hear the 'but' coming. Nobody could miss a 'but' this loud. "You're my favorite person in the world, Charlie." Nobody said things like that. Not unless they were trying to soften a blow. "But I'm not. I'm not ready."
Had his inhibitors been inhibited, he might have said something different, but they were working just fine and he knew, he knew this would never work out and if they tried, they'd both end up hurt.
He was pretty sure that wasn't just his All-Relationships-Are-Doomed paranoia talking, either.
"Even beyond the fact that I don't even know who I am right now, even beyond that I don't know what I like or what I want or if I even like girls, I can't . . . I'm not ready. Not with anyone. We're not twelve anymore. I have a better idea of what goes into dating, and . . . I can't. You're wonderful, Charlie, and you deserve someone with his head screwed on right."
He gave her a weak, apologetic, self-deprecating smile. "I'm the child of six divorces and eight bad break-ups, and that's just the ones I can remember. Dad had a some blow up worse than Mom ever did. I have commitment issues and my terror of relationships is only dwarfed by my terror of the future, and I really can't deal with both right now. Maybe if I had all my ducks in a row, I could think about trying to date someone, but," he shook his head, "I'm not there yet. I can't battle all my demons at once or I'll go madder than Holly."
1DanielSo 'overpracticed' is a good thing?130Daniel05
He didn't even have to say anything - she'd been looking to gauge his reaction and she was sure it was a look of sheer horror that crossed his face before he had time to string together a coherent sentence. Ah well, that was that one answered, then. She couldn't be too upset by it, she supposed - she had realized that Daniel was sorting a lot of stuff out now. Then again, she hadn't realized that she'd just be another thing to worry about, and that was the surest indicator they they shouldn't date, nevermind whatever it was Daniel had to say. And of course he did say stuff, because he was nice like that. In fact he said some really sweet stuff - weird, yes, but sweet - and although she was disappointed, of course, she totally got where he was coming from.
"It's okay," she said, a small smile at the remark that he might go as crazy as his sister (who Charlie didn't really know, but she'd heard Daniel call her crazy often enough to understand this term of measurement). "I just had to ask." That was about the truth of it. There was another thing she had to ask, but now didn't seem the right time. In fact she wasn't sure there would ever be a good time to voice the question 'so should I keep waiting or not?' If he said not she'd be far more let down than she was buoyed by hope of the future, but then if he said she should wait she'd only be waiting around for him, and Charlie had done that enough already. Either answer wasn't going to be good to hear, so with one big question answered, she left the other one unasked.
It sort of crossed her mind at this point that unless Daniel became distinctly less uptight, or perhaps Charlie stopped being quite so laid back, that they might not be all that compatible, anyway. For her, dating was fun, it was a way to get to know people better, to spend time relaxing with another person, and yes it usually came with other perks, and usually presented Charlie with the realization that this particular person was not the person she wanted to end up spending the rest of her life with. She'd dated geeks, jocks, losers, guys who wanted some fun, guys who wanted something serious, and she'd always had a pretty good time of it. Daniel didn't even want any of that, which was a concept Charlie couldn't quite get her head round, even though she fully understood the reasons he'd given. There was a small part of her that wanted to explain that it was fun, and it didn't have to be serious, but she knew she wasn't going to change his mind and the last thing she'd want to do was stress him out further. So, she would be a good freind and respect what he'd said, and put more effort into forgetting about Daniel Nash. At least for the time being.
"And, you know, the offer's always open," she added with a shrug of her shoulders, hoping the gesture made the comment seem far more casual than it would otherwise have been. "Because you're my favorite person in the world, too," she said, grinning and mocking him again, determined that nothing had happened that would change that.
He was relieved - beyond relieved despite that he had never seriously considered it as a possibility - that Charlie was not seriously upset by his refusal. No tears, no harsh words, just an understanding 'It's okay' that he was truly grateful for. She even smiled. With all the drama in the rest of his life, he was glad of the lack of it here, in what could potentially be considered their second break-up even if it was more of a reiteration of their first.
A wry smile tugged at his lips as she said the offer was open, and mimicked his own worded back to him. "If anything changes," he promised, "You'll be the first to know." Which was probably true not only for this subject, but anything going on in his life. Charlie was his confidant here at Sonora, after all; the person he turned to. She knew things he'd never told his dad.
"So," he said, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows as he looked up toward the setting sun. "Shall we sit back and watch the sun set together, as favorite people?"
"If anything changes, you'll be the first to know," Daniel said, and Charlie smiled again. Maybe this being friends thing was better for them, anyway. Okay, she'd still like to kiss him, but she could get over that in time. Probably. As it was, she supposed she could forgo a little kissing if it kept their friendship and stopped Daniel from becoming more than usually unbalanced. At least she wouldn't be doing the dithering about she'd been doing for the first part of term.
Admittedly, she couldn't be confident that she could completely quell her thoughts on the matter, but at least she knew not to act on them now. She'd explain to Adelita that while she had admittedly done what she wasn't supposed to have done, and had approached Daniel before midterm, that it had actually worked out for the best - now she knew where things stood, and she could forget about him for the time being. She wouldn't be agonizing about it over midterm, and she could stop feeling weird around one of her closest friends. Lita would surely agree that that was better, and Charlie'd already decided not to mention to her best friend that she'd called Daniel her favorite person.
"So," Daniel said, leaning back on his elbows; Charlie followed suit. "Shall we sit back and watch the sun set together, as favorite people?"
His idea didn't sound at all bad. The daffodils were starting to wither, and the air was cooling so that each time a breeze passed by it brought with it a mild chill, but the gardens were bathed in a soft orangey light and right then she couldn't have asked for better company. "Sounds fabulous," Charlie replied with a smile.
0CharlieBest stop this right here, then.0Charlie05