Lexi Stafford
November 28, 2007 8:09 PM
A not so merry return [tag Chris] by Lexi Stafford
Anxiety was not a state Lexi Stafford often found herself in, and she didn’t enjoy it at all. Most of the time, she had no cause for worry. She didn’t worry about mincing words, or her relationships with others, or what others thought of her, because it seemed pointless to stress out about things that she had no control over. Schoolwork certainly wasn’t a source of worry, though it plagued other students. So when something was enough to cause her to lose her cool, it was generally fairly important, and this circumstance was no different.Pacing back and forth, Lexi pondered just what she was supposed to say when Chris arrived. She’d sent him an owl asking him to meet her here, at a fountain near the entrance of the gardens. It was a common meeting-spot, and Lexi had been a little surprised to find no one else here when she arrived, a few minutes ahead of the appointed time. She needed to think.
By the time her boyfriend arrived, she felt she was as prepared as she was ever going to be. Smiling as cheerfully as she could, she walked over to give him a hug. “Hello, Chris. How were the holidays here? I have something for you.”
Reaching behind her, she got the gift-wrapped parcel and handed it to him, waiting patiently for him to open it. Once he had, revealing a leather-bound copy of The Beater’s Bible, she spoke up once more, thinking that perhaps it required some explanation. “Since you were only recently converted to the position, and, you know, it’s something every beater should have, or read at some point. Not that you’re bad at the position, or need help, or anything…I just thought you’d like it.”
She sighed, sitting down, feeling more flustered than she could ever remember being before. She was even more nervous than she’d been at the beginning of the year, when she’d known Chris had a fiancée that he’d never told her about, but didn’t know the specifics, and thought that he wanted to dump her. Still, it did make sense in a way. That time, she’d been the victim of sorts; now it was her own wrongdoings that she had to explain away.
“Something happened over midterm,” she said, speaking very quickly, and not looking at him. Tact was never her strong suit, and now wasn’t the time to start trying. It was like taking off a Band-aid—quicker was better. “I met this guy at a party, and we talked, and I thought we were just joking around, but he kissed me, and I had no clue it was going to happen, and I didn’t want it to, but it did.”
To her chagrin, ashamed tears seemed to be forming in her eyes. Tears were the last thing she wanted. Tears meant that this was serious. She was not someone who cried over things like this. Besides, she didn't really have anything to be ashamed of. It wasn't like Chris was so innocent in all of this either. Merlin damn it, what had she become? “I’m sorry.”
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Lexi Stafford
A not so merry return [tag Chris]
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Lexi Stafford
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Chris
November 29, 2007 6:52 PM
Some things are better left unsaid by Chris
Midterm was finally over and Chris, for one, was glad that it was. He enjoyed reading, but he could only do it so much before boredom had finally set in. Another plus, a big plus, to school being back in session meant that he would get to see Lexi. He was about to send an owl to her when she beat him to it. A wide grin spread across his face. He threw on his favorite hooded sweatshirt and ran his fingers through his mess of hair. Glancing in the mirror, he thought he looked okay, which he did in that adorably disheveled sort of way. Grabbing her gift, he made his way to the fountain that she had wanted to meet at.When he got there, Lexi gave him a hug, which he returned and a kiss on the cheek. “Fairly dull, but there was an ice skating rink. Nic took advantage of it. I think she was out there nearly every day,” he finished with a chuckle. Surprise registered when she said she had something for him. Taking the package, he said, “Thank you. You didn't have to buy me anything. Having you back is enough, but I have something for you too.”
In his hands was a badly wrapped, as he had tried to wrap it himself, red package. Inside were a pair of Quidditch gloves. When she put her hand into the one, she would find something else in one of the fingers. It was his ring that bore the Dupree crest. He never wore it himself, but kept it in his top drawer at all times. He had given it much thought over midterm before deciding to give it to her. It wasn't as serious as an engagement or promise ring, but he wanted her to have it, because he wanted her to know that she was more than a fling to him. He had meant what he had said about trying to get out of his betrothal to Marie.
After handing it to her, Chris opened his gift. Inside was a book called The Beater's Bible. This was more interesting than the academic books he had read over midterm. He gave her a wide grin. “This is great! Thank you.” He gave her a quick kiss on the lips to emphasize this.
When she sat down, he followed suit, not liking the sigh that she had produced. His eyes narrowed in worry, automatically assuming something was wrong. What could have happened so early in term? Was it about Marie again? Her last words uttered, he nearly wished it had been about Marie. Another guy had kissed her? He stayed quiet for several moments, digesting what she had said, a gulp, then the question, “Did you kiss him back?”
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Chris
Some things are better left unsaid
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Chris
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Lexi
November 29, 2007 7:31 PM
Blame my brother by Lexi
Lexi didn’t open Chris’s present immediately. She’d missed her golden opportunity, though it looked intriguing (and adorable, in a ‘someone not very skilled wrapped me’ sort of way. She suspected her boyfriend), because she’d wanted to get her confession out of the way. And she couldn’t just pause in the middle of something this serious for something trivial like that.Her heart had nearly stopped when Chris had done so, though it wasn’t really surprising. It couldn’t have been something he had been anticipating, so he naturally needed time to process things. And she couldn’t lie; she’d been a bit glad her boyfriend had been too shocked to say anything for a few minutes. It had given her enough time to collect herself, to stop crying, and beat down the feeling of shame. However, his question brought it back into play. She hadn’t liked thinking about the specifics of what had happened. It made things seem so real.
“I-I don’t know,” she said weakly, with a semi-deranged giggle. “Merlin, I know how that sounds, but it was really late, and I was exhausted, and Nick kissing me just happened so quickly…No, I didn’t. I’m almost certain I didn’t.”
But she was lying.
She didn’t like it, but she had kissed Nick back, and forgotten for a few seconds that she had a boyfriend. However, that wasn’t something she was going to tell Chris, because it was bound to hurt him, and she didn’t want to do that any more than she had to. She hadn’t even wanted to do this much, but Ben had told her she had to, and so here she was. Cheating and lying. Wasn’t she talented?
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Lexi
Blame my brother
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Lexi
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Chris
November 29, 2007 8:28 PM
I intend to by Chris
She didn't know. Chris gaped at her. He probably looked like a fish in a bowl with how wide eyed he was with his mouth hanging open. How didn't she know? She was there. Either she did or didn't. Her next choice of words weren't any better. She was almost certain she didn't, but what if she did? If she did, there had to be a logical explanation for why she had. He racked his brain trying to come up with reasons. He didn't want to believe that she might have willingly. One thought came to mind. Maybe?“Did you drink maybe drink a little too much champagne?” He tried to word it carefully. He didn't want to accuse her of not being able to handle herself, but it would make her uncertainty sit better with him. He watched her face carefully for a reaction. Even, if that had been the cause, he couldn't stop himself from asking, “Did you enjoy it?” He knew it might have come out sounding slightly bitter and to some degree, he was, but he had to know.
Before she could answer, more questions spilled from his lips. “Where were you when he kissed you? How did you meet him? Were you alone with him?” They weren't answers he really wanted. He was just torturing himself, but what if she had been sending signals? Even if it were subconsciously, that had to mean something. What though, he didn't want to think about, but it was there, slowly burning itself into his head.
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Chris
I intend to
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Chris
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Lexi
November 29, 2007 9:03 PM
I will, however, be angry if he's hurt *gives warning look* by Lexi
This was not going to be pretty. Well, it had never been pretty to begin with, so now it was just hideous. Seemed like she had a particular penchant for getting herself in these situations when in the company of Duprees. And she was growing more and more furious by the second. Irrational, perhaps, but Lexi’s irrationality was definitely a strong quirk of her personality, one that tended to take over sometimes.She had to take a few deep breaths before she began to answer his questions. They helped somewhat, though there was a definite edge to her voice when she spoke next. “Why is it people assume I’m the sort to get drunk and start making out with whoever’s available? First Ben, now you. I don’t know what kinds of things happen at your pureblood parties, but I don’t drink, didn’t have a drop. Whatever that says about me,” she shrugged, “at least I can be moral in some ways, I suppose. I was just exhausted, and not thinking straight.”
Skipping over his next question, she went right into the third degree he’d given her. “I met him at a party, like I told you. Apparently I looked like I was having a miserable time, and so he decided to come entertain me. Not like that,” she added, giving him a glance. She wouldn’t have thought it would have been Chris’ first conclusion, but she’d never seen him like this before. “I tried to make him leave me alone, but he wouldn’t have any of it, and pretty soon I was spending the rest of the party socializing with him and some friends of his. He was a nice enough guy.
“After a while, I got tired, and when I couldn’t find anyone in my family to go home with, he offered to walk me back to my family’s apartment, just because it’s NYC at night. Just being a nice, gentlemanly guy. Yes, we were alone when he kissed me. It was a sort of ‘had a fun night, maybe we’ll see each other at another’ kind of thing, very casual.” She neglected the phone number he’d given her, and her mother had found and given back to her the next morning, chastising her daughter for giving up such ‘opportunities’ so negligently.
However, rather than cooling her down, explaining had only gotten her more riled up. “What do you want me to say, Chris?” she asked, getting up and pacing. “That it wasn’t nice, being kissed by a cute guy who wasn’t going to end up causing problems later with everyone? So maybe I did kiss him back, before I came to my senses. Maybe I did enjoy it. There’s something to be said for knowing I’m not going to have to deal with my brother and my fellow prefect later because the boy I kissed is closely linked to them.
“In any case,” she said, almost yelling at him now, “It’s not like I’m the only one who’s not been completely honest in this relationship. How long did it take you to tell me about your fiancée, again? Oh, wait, you never did tell me, did you,” she added bitterly. “My bad. Does she know about me, or do you lie to her too? What I did is nothing compared to that, Chris.”
Lexi stopped short, though a bit ahead of where she’d started, so her back was to him, and she could just see him out of the corner of her eye. “Fine. I kissed him back. I enjoyed it. So sue me for trying to spare you a little. It’s probably all for the best.” She sighed deeply, and turned around to face him full on. “Things aren’t going to work out between us. It was fun while it lasted, but I think we just need to lay it to rest. Some things just don’t turn out well. I guess this is one of them.”
She wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say, if she wanted him to tell her she was being ridiculous, or what. But Lexi still felt that this was what needed to happen. She needed space, and to get away from complicated situations, at least for a while. She needed to just have fun.
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Lexi
I will, however, be angry if he's hurt *gives warning look*
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Lexi
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Chris
November 29, 2007 10:23 PM
It shouldn't matter to me if you are by Chris
There's a story that's told around this time of year about a nasty old Grinch and about his too small heart. He hated Christmas with a passion. Now, it tells of how he changed and how his heart grew bigger, but did anyone ever ask what made his heart too small in the first place? Well, if anyone asked Chris Dupree at this very moment, he would be able to tell them why. It came in the form of a bewitching female. Once she stole his heart. She ripped it out with her claws and tore it to shreds. At least, that's how it felt.Chris stayed incredibly still, barely breathing, for a moment. His face was ashen and he felt sick to his stomach. He thought she had cared for him too, but all it had taken was some guy that she met at a party to change her tune. The anger started slowly building in him. His breath grew more rapid. Color returned to his face, but in a dose of red. He stood up, taller than her, towering. His fists were clenched at his sides, as his body shook.
His words were deadly controlled, the sort that sound calm, but are anything but, “You're right about everything. Nothing you did compares to what I did. Forgive me for not telling you about the fiancée that I don't want and have every intention of not marrying, because we weren't serious. Forgive me for not turning you down when you threw yourself at me, because what guy in his right head would. Forgive me if my fiancée doesn't know about you, because I was trying to protect you.” He stopped, his breathing heavy. “Oh, and so you know, I was already planning on telling you about the demon child before you brought it up, because I actually cared about you, but whatever.” He threw his hands up in the air. ”I'm through with this conversation and I'm glad to be through with you. So, go throw yourself at someone else. See if I care. Oh, wait, you already did.”
He moved past her then. He didn't bother to try to go around her. His shoulder purposefully hitting off of her, as he began to stalk away. Silent tears were beginning to fall from the corners of his eyes. He brushed them angrily away, not wanting her to have the satisfaction of knowing that she had accomplished her goal.
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Chris
It shouldn't matter to me if you are
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Chris
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Lexi
November 29, 2007 11:13 PM
My wrath should always be a cause for worry by Lexi
It took a moment to sink in that this was the end. The game was done. Everything was finished. It was just over.Even as Chris stood up and spoke, so obviously angry, a detached part of her still thought that there was going to be a way to salvage the situation. He knew her—he should have known that she needed people to tell her when she was being an idiot, and doing something she was only going to end up regretting, like she was regretting what had transpired.
As she looked at him towering over her, she had the urge to just reach out and touch him, see if she could help him just calm down, but she refrained herself. She was not going to give in now. She was in the right here. She had to be.
Still, self-righteous though she was trying to be, Lexi couldn’t stop herself as Chris was stalking away. “I didn’t jump on him,” she said, softly in a voice somewhat choked with tears , though strongly enough to carry if he wanted to hear. “And when he gave me the opportunity to do so, I refused to take it. It’s not about Nick. He was just the catalyst. We were already over. We were so different, I think we always were.”
Suddenly devoid of strength once Chris was gone, Lexi sat back on the rim of the fountain and, when even that required too much energy, lay down, only to come into contact with something hard. Pushing herself back up, she saw the book she’d given Chris and the package he’d handed her. Laying the book aside for now (she could cry over that part later), she pulled the package toward her. Yes, she probably should return it to him unopened, but he’d just essentially called her a whore, so in her opinion she deserved at least the opportunity to assuage her curiosity.
Carefully tearing off the paper, she stared at the gloves. They were beautiful, and her own had been worn out, and she really didn’t want to give them back. So, even though she knew it would only make it harder to give them back, she pulled them on. Just as she’d suspected, they fit perfectly, except for one little…
Lexi pulled that glove back off, and shook it, after which fell out a ring. Holding it up for closer inspection, it looked like a family crest. Which meant… “Damn it, I’m an idiot,” Lexi muttered, examining the ring with both fascination and horror at what she’d just done. And this was something she had to return, a family heirloom, she suspected. Still, she didn’t want to go after him right now. That would just end in another fight, and she didn’t have the energy for that right now.
So she came up with the best plan for the moment. Reaching around to the back of her neck, she unhooked the necklace that Chris had given her only four months earlier, the necklace she had only taken off for mere moments since then. She paused to wipe a few tears from her eyes, then slid the ring onto the chain and rehooked it. She’d give him his crest once they’d both had a chance to cool down. For the moment, it was in a place she couldn’t lose it, and maybe, just maybe, she’d manage to forget she’d been such a fool for a few moments.
While she still thought it had to be done, and that she was in the right, and while she was still angry, she’d already started to miss him.
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Lexi
My wrath should always be a cause for worry
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Lexi
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