Kiva Kijweski
May 19, 2007 9:56 PM
Keeping Busy by Kiva Kijweski
Kiva had returned to Sonora a little over a week ago, but had still not attended lessons with the students. She still wasn't quite ready to deal with the whole school and trying to get them interested in the very subject her father had taught her to love.She had kept herself busy in other ways. She needed to keep herself busy or else she would fall into this depressing mood and wonder how her mother was doing and wonder if teaching was even worth it anymore. Had she done the right thing by coming back? Caedence, and the few other students Kiva had seen about, seemed happy to see her, which made Kiva happy, but...she didn't think she had ever been effective as a professor.
Course, now that she was Deputy Headmistress, she couldn't really turn her back on it all now. It was already unfair of her to have taken off those three months when it had originally only meant to be for a month. And, from what she had heard, those three months the students had with the substitute, hadn't been the most fun. She felt slightly guilty for that, having had no time to really get to know the sub before taking off, but time had been tight.
She had kept herself busy since getting back. First with unpacking and helping Caedence with the kitten, then with rearranging her office, quarters, and where she kept the animals. When that was all done, she spent days with the animals, giving them each individual attention that she figured the substitute hadn't given to them. And when that was complete, she spent another day writing owls to her contacts thanking them for helping with her short term replacement.
But now, now she was running out of things to do to keep her busy. She was restless and it was the weekend, so even if she wanted to teach class, she couldn't. She she decided to work in the gardens. She doubted Simon or the Prairie elves would mind much. Kiva was on her knees in one of the paths, drenched in sweat, wearing shorts and a tank top. Her wild curls were pulled back and out of her face. On her hands were her father's gloves.
Plucking another gnome from it's own, she whirled him around a few times before sending him sailing into the air and away from her. She had been at this for over an hour now, her muscle ached from the work, but she didn't mind it. She liked the pain, it kept her grounded. She was hungry and the sun beating down on her made her slightly dizzy, but Kiva couldn't bring herself to stop. If she stopped, she was scared of what might happen. She needed to keep focusing on the act of de-gnoming, even if it meant she'd wind up collasped in the gardens.
She just couldn't stop.
She didn't even stop when she saw a shadow fall over her, knowing someone had finally stumbled upon her. Kiva knew she must be a sight, covered in dirt and sweat, circles beneath her eyes, red from the sun... And still, she couldn't stop.\r\n\r\n
0
Kiva Kijweski
Keeping Busy
0
Kiva Kijweski
1
5
Hyana Kamiya
May 21, 2007 6:20 PM
You're back! *jumps up and down happily* by Hyana Kamiya
Hyana had come to hang out with her puffskein in the gardens. It seemed that she wouldn't be able to return Chiyo. Her mother tried to get rid of poor Chiyo. It turned out that she didn't want the puffskein in her house. Bryan wasn't too thrilled when he woke up to Chiyo having her breakfast, either.So the asian girl had gone to see if the sub would take the puffskien back, but she just couldn't do it. She took a walk in the Labyrinth Gardens instead. She had been out there for a long time, long enough to be getting a slight sunburn on her cheeks.
She turned another corner, ready to head back when she heard the sounds of degnoming. Who would be doing that? She thought to herself, walking towards the sound. And who did she come across? Kiva Kijewski!
"P-professor!" She exclaimed. She wanted to say more, but Professor K didn't seem to notice her. Curiously, she put Chiyo on her shoulder and walked over to Kiva. She looked awful. Hyana gulped, then bent down and placed her hand on her HoH's shoulder.
"Professor...are you okay?" She asked worridly. Hyana didn't want the woman to work herself to death...
0
Hyana Kamiya
You're back! *jumps up and down happily*
0
Hyana Kamiya
0
5
Professor K
May 22, 2007 10:35 PM
Er...yes, glad you're happy :D by Professor K
In the back of her mind, Kiva was hoping against hope that whoever was with her would just walk away. She hoped that they would see her as being busy in her work and just keep right on walking. But, that wasn't the case. And what made it worse was that it was a student. A first year no less.Kiva flinched beneath Hyana's touch. She hadn't meant to. It might have been because her shoulder was burnt from the sun, but she had a feeling it was more due to the fact that she had not had human contact of any kind since coming back to Sonora and the contact she had had prior had been to comfort her mother. It was hard for Kiva to accept any comfort from someone else.
It was one of her flaws. Refusing to allow herself to ask for help. To seek comfort. Perhaps that was why she had so few relationships, both platonic and otherwise. She didn't like to feel dependent. Oh, she didn't mind it when others came to her to cry on her shoulders, but she just wouldn't do the same to them. Tarquin seemed to have that understanding with her and possibly Manfred as he never asked anything beyond what was necessary. But, Kiva doubted any of the other staff members knew that about Kiva.
She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad.
Still, at Hyana's touch, Kiva shrank away involuntarily. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to catch her breath. Once she felt somewhat collected, Kiva looked at Hyana. "I'm fine, Hyana. Just a little tired." Kiva answered, giving her a small smile. Hyana had been one of the students Kiva had worried about all through the first part of term. Her and Irene. Kiva felt guilty as she looked at the young first year. She hadn't thought of her at all while she had been away.
Did that make her a terrible Professor? Kiva felt it did.
She needed to snap out of this. Her father was dead and nothing would change that. He had died peacefully in his sleep after years of struggling with cancer. It was time for her to move on. It wasn't fair for the other staff for her to be so out of it and it certainly wasn't fair for her students.
And yet, she still felt like a gapping whole had been ripped into her. Perhaps that would never heal.
"I'm sorry Hyana, for leaving." Kiva said softly. According to Caedence, the substitute had not been the best, which only added the guilt to Kiva's already heavy conscience. Kiva's brow creased with concern for her student. "Hyana, has your mother come around yet?"
0
Professor K
Er...yes, glad you're happy :D
0
Professor K
0
5
Hyana
May 24, 2007 5:56 PM
I'm glad you're happy I'm happy ^-^ by Hyana
Hyana pulled away as Professor K flinched. She knew what it was like, not wanting to be touched. She beat herself up mentally, what the heck has she been thinking? She wouldn't let anyone touch her. Maybe she could relate to her HoH. She doubted her mother did things to her though. Bad things."I-I'm sorry if I bothered you..." Hyana stuttered. "I...I can go..." But the Professor answered her. Was that good? Hyana didn't really know. She just felt so bad for making her flinch.
"Maybe you should get some rest then..." Hyana suggested quietly. "You shouldn't over work yourself, even if it's something that needs to be done."
"I'm sorry Hyana, for leaving." She said softly to Hyana. "N-no! You don't need to apologize. Th-the sub was okay, I mean, Jae probably was upset, but still, she taught a good lesson. You have no need to be sorry, it was just something you couldn't control!" Hyana exclaimed in a rush. Professor K really had no reason to apologize, and Hyana's rambling probably made no sense. So she shut her mouth.
Then Professor K asked about her mother.
"Oh...mama." Hyana whispered, looking down at the ground. "Ummm...not really." Like her mother would ever accept her. Hyana considered herself very optimistic at somethings, but that would be a miracle. And miracles just didn't happen. "She didn't like my puffskein very much either." Hyana said, a little louder. Actually, her mother threw poor Chiyo across the room, trying to throw it in the fire at one point over midterm. Hyana knew what she had to do.
"So, I was wondering if I could return Chiyo..." Hyana said, taking Chiyo into her arms. "I just don't want to make mama mad if I bring Chiyo back over the summer."
0
Hyana
I'm glad you're happy I'm happy ^-^
0
Hyana
0
5
Professor K
May 25, 2007 8:22 PM
Glad that's settled then by Professor K
Hyana's worry over her was adorable and probably warranted...just not by a first year. It just proved that the roles were reversed and Kiva wasn't doing what she should have been doing. Wallowing in her own self-pity wasn't constructive and it certainly wasn't going to help her get back into the swing of things.Gah! She really wished she would just talk about it. If she talked about it with Tarquin or Manfred or even Simon, she would feel loads better. But, she couldn't do it. The thught of letting it out to any of them made her feel as though she were imposng her issues onto them. And that was rude.
"I'll be fine, Hyana. Three months off and I seem to have forgotten how much de-gnoming makes a person sweat." Kiva answered, giving Hyana a more genuine smile while ignoring her thoughts completely.
It didn't help that while she had been away, there had been issues with multiple students. She hadn't been here incase they needed her (though she doubted any of them would have actually come to her) nor had she been there incase Manfred had needed her with all the chaos she was sure had come from the aftermath.
Kiva sighed softly as she listened to Hyana. This girl was very passive, always accommodating everyone else. Hyana reminded Kiva of herself a bit. She had very much tried to make everyone else happy, when she couldn't even make herself happy. "Well, Jae needn't worry. There will be other lessons. And you're right, it wasn't something I could have controlled, but I didn't need to be gone for so long. I guess I just..." Kiva trailed off for a moment, realizing she was still only talking with a student. She shrugged and didn't finish her thought.
Her smile weakened as Hyana spoke about her mother. The knot in Kiva's brow grew deeper with concern. It was ashame when a parent refused to support or understand their child. And it was unfair to the child. Hyana deserved something better. It was clear to anyone that her mother's rejections wounded her. Kiva stood up, ignoring the cries of pain her joints and muscles screamed at the movement. "I'll tell you what, Hyana." Kiva placed each of her hands gentely on top of Hyana's. "You can keep Chiyo during the school year and I can take Chiyo during midterm and summer. How does that sound?"
0
Professor K
Glad that's settled then
0
Professor K
0
5
Hyana
May 28, 2007 5:49 PM
Me too! We agreed again! by Hyana
"I'll be fine, Hyana. Three months off and I seem to have forgotten how much de-gnoming makes a person sweat." Professor K told Hyana. It made the small girl feel awful. She shouldn't have bugged the professor. Not only was she busy, she seemed to want to talk about something. And professors couldn't talk to firsties. They couldn't ask them for advice. It must've been some weird adult pride thing."I've never de-gnomed before so I wouldn't really know." Hyana replied with a small smile and a laugh. She really hated being a muggle born, more than people would think. It was hard to be in a magic school when you still didn't know what half of the students were talking about.
Hyana's smile brightened, though, when Professor K started speaking again. She ignored the sigh, she knew her shyness annoyed her friends, so of course it would annoy the professors. But her smile was visibly growing as Professor K started letting out her feelings. She needed someone to talk to. Unfortunatly, the professor realized she was talking to Hyana. She stopped. Hyana let out a sigh of her own. Hopefully one of the other adults at Sonora would talk to her HoH, she seemed like she needed it.
Her smile grew again when Professor K made a suggestion. "You can keep Chiyo during the school year and I can take Chiyo during midterm and summer. How does that sound?" The fact that she was being touched didn't even make her flinch. She was just so happy. Her brown almond eyes sparkled, Professor K was like a real mother. If she wasn't a mommy, she needed to be. She would've been good at it.
"Th-thanks Professor!" Hyana said, her voice happier than she had heard it in a while. "I'd hug you right now, but it looks like you're sunburned and it would probably hurt."
0
Hyana
Me too! We agreed again!
0
Hyana
0
5
Professor K
June 02, 2007 5:50 PM
Yes we did. by Professor K
"Don't worry, Hyana, you'll have your chance soon enough." Kiva stated about the gnomes. Though Kiva had had a rough go when she had allowed her older students the chance to de-gnome, she also knew that they had somewhat enjoyed having done it. Or maybe it was the fact that they got to throw things. Who really knew.Kiva was happy to find that her suggestion made Hyana happy. Too bad something so simple couldn't solve all their problems. Despite having spent the last few days avoiding people and trying to keep herself busy, despite feeling down or numb, Kiva was feeling somewhat better nwo that she'd made Hyana a little happier.
It reminded Kiva as to why she had continued this job for so long and why she had decided to stay even when there was nothing really keeping her here.
"It's fine, Hyana, you don't have to hug me." Kiva replied, letting go of Hyana's hands and standing up properly. There was a moment of pause before Kiva continued, getting much more serious than she had moments before. "Hyana, is your mother...is she...good to you?"
0
Professor K
Yes we did.
0
Professor K
0
5
Hyana
June 06, 2007 6:00 PM
I'm so proud of us by Hyana
Hyana grinned. So in later lessons they would learn how to degnome, if she was guessing right. It seemed to be a great way to de-stress. And she knew that Jae and Hikaru would get a kick out of it. But mostly Caedence. Maybe degnoming would be good for her. She thought of telling Caede about it later, when she wasn't so scared of her.Hyana was also happy that she didn't have to hug the professor. She wasn't a big huggy person. But maybe that was when someone else hugged her. Hyana had never really hugged someone else before.
She had turned to leave, ready to say goodbye when Professor K asked something that made her hairs stand up.
"Hyana, is your mother...is she...good to you?"
Hyana was glad she was facing away from her HoH, because her face showed complete and utter fear. But the small girl couldn't hide how tense she had become. Biting her lip, she nodded, still facing away from Professor K.
"Yeah, mama's really good to me!" She said defensivly. "She's my mom after all. Why wouldn't she be good to me? She doesn't like my magic, but she loves me." She explained, nodding her head several times as she spoke, as if she was trying to convince herself. "And she has a b-boyfriend..." Hyana felt like smacking herself for stumbling over the word.
"She has a boyfriend, Bryan, who likes my magic. So mama might get used to it." Her voice broke at the end. Swallowing hard, started walking away. "I have some homework to finish. I'll see you later Professor!" Then she broke into a sprint.
Why did she have to lie? This was her chance, she could be taken away! But maybe Bryan was good. He liked her magic. He could make Emiko like her magic too. Then her mother wouldn't hate her. But she didn't need anyone's help here. She could be like Caedence. I can take care of myself! She screamed in her head as she ran up to her commons.
0
Hyana
I'm so proud of us
0
Hyana
0
5