Me and my army of darkne- Prairie Elves on Labyrinth Gardens

Paul Simon Tellerman

December 06, 2004 9:57 AM

Me and my army of darkne- Prairie Elves by Paul Simon Tellerman

Sonora Academy did not have a caretaker. It had a Groundskeeper. As both the caretaking of the interior of the school and the upkeeping of outer grounds was far to much for a single person to manage alone, Sonora's groundskeeper was given the authority to assign the school's employeed Prairie Elves as he saw fit.

This year the groundkeeper was a young man of twenty-five years with tarnished visions of becoming a Hollywood star. After two years of auditions, he had made no progress to breaking into show biz, and his credit rating was starting to flounder due to his lack of a regular income.

Being a janitor had never been a job Paul Simon Tellerman had ever wished for. He didn't particularly like cleaning or gardening, and he was definitely only there for the money. What he wanted was fame and recognition.

Placing such a man in charge of a large group of creatures who would eagerly follow his orders and call him 'master' was, perhaps, not the wisest course of action the Headmistress of the school could have taken.

"Tuppy!" he called out, using the projection and authority a general would be proud of, "you and your grandchildren are to weed this entire area! When you're finished, I don't want to see a single plant standing that does not belong here!"\n\n

1 Paul Simon Tellerman Me and my army of darkne- Prairie Elves 14 Paul Simon Tellerman 1 5

Scurry

December 06, 2004 1:08 PM

Do we get dark cloaks and jagged swords and evil masks? by Scurry

OOC: Assuming that Scurry is one of them there grandkids. BIC:

Scurry was still finding it difficult to believe that he had actually managed to get a job outside of the dreaded kitchen. And as he had also been appointed Janitor of the First Order... his little little chest puffed out with pride between bouts of throwing himself against walls and sharp objects to atone for said pride while all the while following master Paul Simon around just waiting for a new order.

"Tuppy! You and your grandchildren are to weed this entire area! When you're finished, I don't want to see a single plant standing that does not belong here!"

"Yes master Paul Simon sir," Scurry gladly cried, ready to throw himself into the task. He hadn't been mentioned by name, but no matter. The master knew that his Janitor of the First Order was here, and Scurry would not let him down.

And Scurry knew all about plants, oh yes indeed. He knew basil and thyme and mint and all of those plants that showed up regularly in the kitchens. But, he wondered looking puzzled, here didn't seem to be much in the way of those plants here. Instead there were great green blocks of leaves and wood, and colourful splashes of colour that looked nothing like the plants he knew.

The poor plants must be being suffocated under all these colourful weeds! Almost weeping at the terribleness of it all, Scurry dove into the mess and started pulling out the horrible plant killing weeds, throwing them left and right.\n\n

0 Scurry Do we get dark cloaks and jagged swords and evil masks? 0 Scurry 0 5

Master Paul Simon

December 06, 2004 2:20 PM

Yes & you should write "Simon Says" in ketchup everywhere by Master Paul Simon

"Yes master Paul Simon sir!" one of them, Scurry, if he remembered the little guy's name right, exclaimed. The one Simon had named a 'Janitor of the First Order' because it seemed a good idea at the time of their meeting. Now, he wasn't really certain what had prompted him to do that. Not that it mattered, really, as there was no such thing as a Second Order of janitors.

Anyway, it seemed to make the fella happy, and Simon saw nothing wrong with boosting the morale of his troops. Certainly, Simon couldn't fault the guy's enthusiasm.

His gaze drifting back to that particular prairie elf, he suddenly realized that he very definitely could fault the guy's enthusiasm. "Scurry!" he cried out in alarm, running to cover the distance between them in only four strides. "Not the coloured ones! Those are flowers! We want those! And the hedges! Leave the hedges alone!"\n\n

1 Master Paul Simon Yes & you should write "Simon Says" in ketchup everywhere 14 Master Paul Simon 0 5

Scurry

December 06, 2004 10:30 PM

Scurry is being happy to be doing as he is told! by Scurry

It was wonderful to be out of the kitchens and being given orders by the wonderful master Paul Simon. Scurry was getting rid of the nasty weeds to save the poor plants, and enjoying himself like never before.

But then something terrible happened.

He had done wrong! Scurry had not done what master Paul Simon wanted! He was a bad Prairie Elf.

"Scurry is a bad elf?" Wailing, he threw himself at master Paul Simon's feet just waiting to hear his title revoked. There were a couple of sharp stones close at hand; he grabbed them and started to hammer away at his kneecaps to get a headstart on his punishment. But it wasn't enough. "What can Scurry be doing?" he sobbed. "How can Scurry be punished for not doing as Sir ordered?"\n\n

39 Scurry Scurry is being happy to be doing as he is told! 0 Scurry 0 5

Master Paul Simon

December 07, 2004 9:59 AM

My head hurts. Right here. by Master Paul Simon

This was worse, far worse, than any of Neil's tantrums as a toddler. (Neil, for example, had tended to pound the floor, Mom, Dad, or Simon rather than himself. Which meant that Simon was able to mantain his anger for having his guitar strings broken and not start feeling sorry for the kid.)

He rubbed his temples and hoped the threatening migraine wouldn't become reality. "Scurry. Scurry! Stop it!" But before he told the elf that it was alright, before he made the terrible mistake of telling the prairie elf that he wasn't mad, a better idea occurred to him.

He straightened to his full five foot ten inch height, folded his arms in front of him and frowned mightily. "Scurry," he repeated the elf's name, but this time in a deep threatening voice rather than the somewhat panicked voice of a freshly hired groundskeeper facing his first self-abusive elf incident.

"I shall have to put you in the Second Order of Janitors for this terrible infraction." He gave the little guy a stern look. "However, I am a merciful man," had this been film, the audience should be thinking 'yeah, right' right about now if he was doing his part correctly. "Should you manage to restore these flowers and hedges to their proper states, I may consider reinstating you."

Merlin, he wished he had a riding crop right now. His wand would have to do. He drew it, and smacked his other hand with it, as he frowned down at Scurry again. "You will remain the disgrace of the Second Order of Janitors until this garden is restored to its proper majesty. If you have any questions about what that proper majesty is, please do ask before doing something regretable. Am I clear? Get to it."

\n\n

1 Master Paul Simon My head hurts. Right here. 14 Master Paul Simon 0 5

Tuppy

December 07, 2004 8:31 PM

Re: My head hurts. Right here. by Tuppy

When Tuppy heard Master Simon's call, had instantly hurried to the garden. But then, poor Tuppy had seen the fire crabs blowing holes in the hedges, the hedges that had been there since Tuppy's grandmother's time!

Tuppy had stopped the fire crabs, but maybe she had hurt them. Tuppy needed Master Simon to help! Oh, bad, bad Tuppy!

Tuppy had found Master Simon, but what a scene! Scurry was punishing himself, and she heard Master Simon finish up ". . . something regretable. Am I clear? Get to it!"

Tuppy gasped. What 'regretable something' had Scurry done? Scurry must have been very bad.
Tuppy was so - it was her fault! She had not made sure Scurry was raised properly. Wailing, she began to beat her head on the ground. Master Simon was sure to be so angry with her! \n\n

0 Tuppy Re: My head hurts. Right here. 0 Tuppy 0 5

Sally

December 07, 2004 8:37 PM

Re: My head hurts. Right here. by Sally

Sally saw the little creature, whatever it was, wailing and beating its head. Sally bent down to its level and asked, cautiously, "are you okay? Do you need some help?"\n\n

0 Sally Re: My head hurts. Right here. 0 Sally 0 5

Scurry

December 08, 2004 7:02 AM

An epidemic of headaches! Scurry hopes it is not his fault by Scurry

"Scurry. Scurry! Stop it!"

It took a moment, as Scurry was really working himself up, but he managed to stop his wailing... and when his name was repeated he stopped punishing himself, the stones dropping from his limp hands as he waited with little hope. Here it came.

"Scurry. I shall have to put you in the Second Order of Janitors for this terrible infraction." The Second Order! The Ignominy! Scurry quavered before the look directed his way, almost starting his wailing again, but hesitated due to the earlier order. "However, I am a merciful man. Should you manage to restore these flowers and hedges to their proper states, I may consider reinstating you."

There was hope! With a slightly pained urgency, Scurry started to do as his name dictated but was brought to a halt as master Paul Simon spoke again. Scurry turned and didn't resist the urge to throw himself prostrate before the master again.

"...the disgrace of the Second Order of Janitors until this garden is restored to its proper majesty. If you have any questions about what that proper majesty is, please do ask before doing something regretable. Am I clear? Get to it."

"Yes master Paul Simon sir, Scurry is going to do that right away." Rushing away to get straight to trying to make amends, he muttered quietly to himself, "the colourful flowers is good, Scurry, as is the squarish hedges. They is not the weeds." Master Paul Simon was so very wise to know all these things that lowly, ignorant Scurry did not.

With great care, he picked up one of the roughly treated flowers and travelled carefully back with it to its original home. Scurry would not be hurting any more plants, not he! He put it back into the hole and patted the soft colourful earth down around it gently. It took him a little while, but eventually the damage was fixed and Scurry could start doing the task correctly so that Master Paul Simon might reinstate him.

Moving furthur afield, pulling out grass from cracks in the path, he noticed some fire-damaged, smouldering hedges, and Grandmother Tuppy wailing incoherantly. What could have damaged the hedges? Scurry wondered, having turned to the more important task - Grandmother Tuppy was an Elf, she knew about work and would not take this against Scurry, he was sure. Seeing no sign of the terrible creature attacking the nice, good hedges that were plants not weeds, Scurry snapped his fingers and they were doused with water, effectively stopping further damage.

One of the students was looking after Grandmother Tully now, he noticed. There was no need for him to bother her then, but Master Paul Simon would be sure to want to know about the hedges. Scurry scurried back.

"Master Paul Simon sir! Scurry is finding some hedges and they is smoking, sir," he reported.

OOC: Miss Sally, please make your posts longer. Two sentence posts do not give other characters much to work off, and are below the recommended minimum length. If you need help fleshing them out, refer to the headmistress' post on this subject located on the OOC page.\n\n

0 Scurry An epidemic of headaches! Scurry hopes it is not his fault 0 Scurry 0 5

Master Paul Simon

December 08, 2004 10:45 AM

my army is vicious and merciless . . . to themselves by Master Paul Simon

Simon was beginning to see the appeal of ramming one's head against something hard and unforgiving. If he did it hard enough, he might achieve unconsciousness and then he wouldn't have to deal with them all.

Okay, Simon, breathe, man. He took a deep breath, counted to five, and let it out again. I am calm. I am at peace. I feel the Force. Ready to open my eyes? Do I have to? Yes. Oh, all right. Quit whining and do it.

The scene had not significantly altered. Tuppy was still banging her head on the ground. Now, there was that girl he had sworn near earlier that afternoon trying to ask the elf what was wrong as if Prairie Elves knew the first thing about rationality. Scurry, Scurry at least had repaired most of the damage he had inflicted and was now looking concerned about some smoking hedges.

Maybe he should have just applied to Burger King.

All right enough of this circus. He put his fingers to his mouth and executed a perfectly shrill and sharp whistle that made even the birds roosting in the hedges a few rows over fall silent.

"Thank you for your attention. Tuppy, I don't fault you for whatever it is you think you did. While you bang your head, you're not getting work done, so hop to it. Scurry, thank you, I'll deal with the smoking hedge, you can start watering the flowers and hedges. You," he spoke finally to the girl who had been asking after Tuppy's health. "Tuppy's fine."

\n\n

1 Master Paul Simon my army is vicious and merciless . . . to themselves 14 Master Paul Simon 0 5

Tuppy

December 09, 2004 6:35 AM

Re: my army is vicious and merciless . . . to themselves by Tuppy

Tuppy raised her head. "Yes, Master Simon, sir," she said warblily, huge elf tears still dripping out of her eyes. "Tuppy will get back to work right away, sir! But sir, the smoking hedges is Tuppy's fault! Tuppy has been a bad elf, she let Master Simon's fire crabs burn holes in Master Simon's hedges!" she wailed the last sentence, and almost threw herself to the ground again, but then remembered Simon's latest order.

"Yes, Tuppy is a bad old elf," she sniffed "Tuppy might have even hurt the poor fire crabs! Poor Master Simon must be so sad. . . and then Scurry! Scurry, you bad little boy, what was you doing to make you punish youself? Master Simon, forgive Tuppy! Give Tuppy good work to do, so Tuppy can make things up to Master Simon."

Tuppy at last turned to the young miss who had asked if Tuppy was all right. She gave her a meek elf-smile. "Tuppy is fine, miss, Tuppy was just punishing herself. Tuppy is an old elf, and has punished herself before. Can Tuppy do something for young miss? If not, young miss should run along and have a fun day in the pretty, sunshiny gardens!"\n\n

0 Tuppy Re: my army is vicious and merciless . . . to themselves 0 Tuppy 0 5

Scurry

December 09, 2004 11:14 PM

We do our best to serve the Dark Lo- Master Paul Simon... by Scurry

"Yes Master Paul Simon sir," Scurry said, happy in the knowledge that Master Paul Simon would know what to do about everything. He hurried off to the nearest plants and clicked his fingers, causing them to be liberally showered with water before moving on the the next bit and repeating the process.

All the while he could hear Grandmother Tuppy continuing her wailing and her telling him off. His ears drooped, but he was under the masters orders and so he continued his task, grandually slinking down further and further as he tried to escape the sound of Grandmother Tuppy's voice.\n\n

39 Scurry We do our best to serve the Dark Lo- Master Paul Simon... 0 Scurry 0 5