Moping on Cascade Hall

Lydia Priory

October 07, 2023 6:22 AM

Moping by Lydia Priory

Lydia could not stop worrying about the Ball. Christopher had asked Verdillia and her cousins had dates too! She was happy for them, she supposed, like she wanted good things for them and she was happy that they were happy but she was terrified that she was going to have to be alone all night with nobody to talk to. Socializing had never been easy for her and she wasn’t comfortable just talking to anyone unless she already knew that they liked her.

And she couldn’t imagine it would be much fun standing around by herself all night either. Or sitting since Lydia physically could not stand for long periods. She was unsure why other than just not being terribly strong. The point was though that, whether standing or sitting or whatever physical position she was in, she was going to be miserable with nobody to talk to. She would feel like a loser. Like nobody liked her and worse, that everyone was laughing at what a loser she was because she had no friends to hang out with.

Well, okay, that was not one hundred percent accurate, Lydia had a friend but that friend would be busy at the Ball. As irrationally anxious as she could get, and catastrophize every situation regardless of how little sense that it made-such as having a panic attack during her CATS when she knew pretty much everything on the test and had never had any problems performing magic, she was still mortified about it and would absolutely die if anyone found out, which naturally was something else that Lydia worried about despite the fact that only one other person knew and she doubted that Mr. Barba would go around telling people since he didn’t seem the gossipy sort and there was probably confidentiality involved, though it was still embarrassing that he was friends with Cory, the distant cousin who worked at Uncle Adam’s wand shop-she still realized that Verdillia having a date to the Ball did not mean that Verdillia didn’t like her any more. Obviously, the fifth year needed someone to do the prefect dance with. She would not want Verdillia to have to face feeling humiliated if nobody wanted to partner with her. Which Lydia imagined was like what she was feeling now, but a billion times worse.

And actually,she supposed that it was accurate to say that she had no friends to hang out with at the ball . She had one friend. Said friend would be busy at the Ball with her date. Which meant that the Teppenpaw would have nobody to hang out with there. Not even the group that she had hung out with last time, since Hans and Liesl were going together and Lydia didn’t know if Patience would want to hang out with just her.

After all, why would she want to hang out with a weak little crybaby like the sixth year? She wasn’t really all that much fun-after all, Sophia always seemed to be annoyed with her and Iris hadn’t wanted to be friends with her either- and it surprised her to even have Verdillia as a friend. And even though Verdillia going to the Ball with Christopher didn’t mean the Crotalus girl didn’t like her any more, Lydia still worried all the time that she would stop.

The Teppenpaw pushed her food around her plate glumly, She didn’t really have much appetite. Still, she was fairly lost in thought and jumped when someone sat down across from her.

11 Lydia Priory Moping 1533 1 5

Lorena Abernathy

October 12, 2023 4:01 PM

Hoping by Lorena Abernathy

It was only after arriving at the Cascade Hall for a meal that Lorena realized that she had misremembered the time at which she had agreed to meet her friends. Upon initial arrival, she glanced around a bit, scanning the faces of all of the tables. It occurred to her that it seemed more full than usual, and that was how she realized her mistake: she, Isla, and Rosalynn were supposed to meet later, when the rush had died down some.

Still, she didn’t have much going on today, and she was already here and pretty hungry. She figured her friends probably wouldn’t mind if she just ate now and still hung out with them later when they got here, so she acquired some food and pre-planned her apology from her full stomach when it met with their empty ones.

But because it was a busier time of day, she found that there were no completely open tables in sight. One was mostly empty, with just one person at it, so Lorena decided to head that way. She realized it was Lydia Brockert, a Teppenpaw in the year below hers, and reaffirmed this decision with herself. Lorena didn’t know Lydia super well, but she had always seemed perfectly pleasant.

As Lorena went to sit down across the table, though, Lydia startled suddenly. Apparently, she hadn’t seen Lorena approaching. “Sorry,” the older girl apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just hoping you wouldn’t mind if I sat here. Are you okay?”

12 Lorena Abernathy Hoping 1510 0 5

Lydia Priory

October 13, 2023 2:34 PM

For? (None of the rhyming words I can come up with fit.) by Lydia Priory

Lydia flushed, absolutely mortified to have been so easily startled. Why did she have to be so…jumpy and anxious all the time? What was wrong with her? No wonder that she only had one friend. Although, to be fair, that wasn’t so bad really. Sometimes people didn’t make any friends-her mom had nobody that she’d really been close to in school outside of family once her ex-boyfriend had broken up with her-and there was something to be said for one super close intimate friendship over several more superficial ones.

Truthfully, nothing superficial had ever really appealed to Lydia when it came to relationships of any kind with others. She craved closeness and had a strong desire for unconditional acceptance. Which might be why some people, such as Sophia, thought that she was needy. Which might be why she only had Verdillia. Even though it wouldn’t be a one way thing, Lydia would be willing to give the same level of friendship, caring, acceptance and everything else that friendships were about. Same would apply to romantic relationships some day.

However, it was hard for her because of how shy and anxious she was to make friends. The Teppenpaw found approaching others terrifying. Lydia worried that they too would find her too needy and babyish like her sister did. Or that they wouldn’t like her for being shy and anxious and overall just delicate.

So one friend was more than she’d ever really thought she’d have.Though initially, when she’d met Iris at the school Concert the year before she’d started at Sonora, the Teppenpaw had been really hopeful, thinking that when she got to school that there would already be someone she knew besides Sophia and Bridget, the big girls who’d never really had time for her, though when the latter wasn’t dealing with her own problems, she tended to be more patient with Lydia than Sophia was.

However, a friendship with Iris hadn’t exactly…panned out for her. And while she had adjusted and accepted that now, it had really hurt. The Teppenpaw had felt rejected and that was something that she very much internalized. Like it reinforced the idea in her that she was the problem. Maybe she was, partially, but sometimes people just were not compatible with each other. Like, Mom and her ex-boyfriend must not have been but Mom and Dad were and Lydia was glad because otherwise she wouldn’t be here.

That was what she wanted to believe about why she and Iris were not friends but she and Verdillia were, except that she still worried it was because she was weak, needy and babyish and that most people didn’t or wouldn’t like her and that some would be actively mean. Having one really close friend sounded good and like more than Lydia had truly expected but then the Ball came up and that one friend got a date and she didn’t know who to hang out with because she was anxious and jumpy and managed to screw up every social interaction with everyone else even her own sister.

At least though, it was Lorena who had approached. Lydia didn’t know the seventh year very well even though they were on the same Challenge team. The Aladren already had her two good built in friends with her roommates-though, to be fair, not everyone was best friends with theirs like the three seventh year girls or Lydia’s sister-in-law Peyton and her roommate Jasmine, and truthfully, the Teppenpaw would have been super anxious if she had a roommate, at least initially. In fact, it was something she had indeed been very worried about.

Also, Lydia had also spent the entire Challenges on the verge of a breakdown, which was obviously not the best light to present yourself in. Not that she could consciously have done different when in that sort of state.

Still, because of it, she was surprised that Lorena wanted to approach her, let alone sit with her for lunch. “Sure, yeah, you can!” Lydia exclaimed, so happy that someone other than Verdillia or her cousins wanted to be around her. “And, yeah, um, I’m fine.” She hadn’t really been, though Lorena actually wanting to eat with her, be around her, had improved her mood a bit, but she wasn’t close enough to the seventh year to confide all her worries about the Ball or anything else.

11 Lydia Priory For? (None of the rhyming words I can come up with fit.) 1533 0 5

Lorena Abernathy

October 16, 2023 9:23 PM

A better rhyme, but it's not working out. by Lorena Abernathy

At the risk of sounding arrogant, Lorena considered herself fairly intelligent. She had done well in school - both at Sonora and in Muggle elementary school - and had even been sorted into Aladren, the House with the reputation for containing most of the school’s “smart kids”. Albeit sometimes emotional intelligence could be a bit different and did not always overlap in those who possessed it, but nonetheless, Lorena didn’t think it took any kind of genius to tell that Lydia wasn’t really exactly fine.

She didn’t know the younger student very well, but it had been pretty apparent through parts of their time working together on the Challenges that Lydia was perhaps a bit… fragile. Therefore, she supposed, it shouldn’t have really been too surprising to find her alone, easily startled, and a bit panicked in her haste to cover up the previous states.

Still, it wasn’t exactly polite to ask personal questions of someone you weren’t close with, and plus Lorena assumed it probably wasn’t that major if Lydia was sitting here dealing with whatever it was and not somewhere more private like her dorm room in Teppenpaw, so Lorena chose to let it go as best she could. At least for now.

“Thanks,” she said instead. She took a single bite of her meal, but the chewing in silence thing felt even more awkward, so Lorena put her appetite on hold and tried to make conversation. “I can’t believe the school year’s almost over,” she commented idly. “Are you looking forward to summer?”

12 Lorena Abernathy A better rhyme, but it's not working out. 1510 0 5

Lydia Priory

October 17, 2023 11:37 AM

Sometimes that happens by Lydia Priory

“You’re welcome.” Lydia could never decide whether she wanted people to dig deeper into whether or not she was really okay or not. On the one hand, it saved her embarrassment and potential judgment. Or worse, being gossiped about. Granted, everyone could probably tell that the Teppenpa was a shy, fragile, anxious mess because it was really pretty obvious. Which might be why she lacked friends as it was certainly most likely why Sophia and Iris didn’t want to be around her.

Of course, Verdillia was either oblivious or noticed and didn’t care, because she was a really good person. Lydia chose to believe the latter, not just because the former probably was an insult to her friend’s intelligence. Besides,compassion and kindness weren’t unique to Teppenpaws. Crotali could be nice and caring too. Her cousin Arianna wasn’t but her brother Connor and his wife Peyton were. So was Uncle Adam. He was always super nice to Lydia because they were similarly shy and anxious people. Also, it turned out that her CATS examiner, Mr, Barba, who was apparently best friends with Cory, Liesl’s uncle and their distant cousin who worked for Uncle Adam, had been a Crotalus too and he had been so sweet to her when she had had a panic attack during her test last year.

Anyway, even though Lydia’s demeanor was pretty apparent to all, that did not mean that she wanted others gossiping about specifics. Or laughing mockingly behind her back. She tended to feel that people were more inclined to be mean to her than pitying. Pity might not have been the best thing, but it was better than people making fun of her. Not that she really thought Lorena would gossip about her or that she and her friends would laugh at her. She knew Isla a bit as they were distant cousins, and the seventh year was pretty nice. Rosalynn seemed to be as well.

The other part of her wanted to know people cared . This was probably the needy part of her that so annoyed her sister but honestly, Lydia liked feeling others cared about her. She didn’t really think that was so unusual, though maybe it was how intense she was. How badly she needed others to validate her in the same way that her parents did.

However, from the perspective of a normal person, Lorena had fulfilled that obligation. She had asked if Lydia was okay, the sixth year had said that she was-as most people tended to do when asked, whether they were or not-and so the older girl had moved on. She was not required to go further and coddle Lydia when they weren’t really close to begin with.

Still, Lorena had asked if she was looking forward to the summer. Lydia considered the question. There were definitely things that she was not looking forward to, such as mild allergies-already in swing-hot weather and society balls which might even be worse than the Sonora one, but she couldn’t avoid them forever. Still, Lydia wanted to be positive and not whiny so she replied. “I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of my family. Like my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my little cousins. My uncle Evan has a newborn daughter Aradia whom I’ve never met.”

Despite her need to feel like people were interested in her, she did prefer to listen rather than talk for the most part, both because she was genuinely interested and because there was less chance to say the wrong thing and be made fun of. So, Lydia asked Lorena “So, what about you? Looking forward to graduating? That has to be exciting. Any plans for after?.”

11 Lydia Priory Sometimes that happens 1533 0 5