Stanley O'Malley
April 07, 2023 1:46 PM
Vulnerable [Tag: Bonabelle] by Stanley O'Malley
For possibly the first time in his literal entire life, Stanley wanted to do something alone.This was not some sort of recent discovery of latent introverted tendencies. Far from it, in fact, and he very much wished for a little support here, but he knew he had to do this by himself. He was pretty sure Wally saw the letter come, and he was probably perplexed by the atypical (but maybe familiar?) owl that brought it. In typical Stanley fashion, though, the Pecari had just tucked it into a pocket - probably a little less ceremoniously than it deserved, really - and went about his day.
That was, until now. Stanley found a somewhat private corner of the gardens and pulled the envelope out of his pocket. It was pretty crumpled up now, but it wasn't like that would change the text within. The insignia was still legible on the outside, too. It was a letter back from a college. The only one he’d applied to so far. The one closest to the apprenticeship Val wanted - the one where Wally wanted to go.
He took a single deep breath and ripped the envelope open.
Dear Mr. Stanley O’Malley,
While we appreciate your interest in our university, it is our unfortunate duty to inform you…
For a moment, Stanley felt his heart stop. His breathing stopped. Everything. Just. Stopped.
It was a rejection letter.
Even an idiot like him didn’t have to read much farther to figure that out. Stanley threw the parchment on the ground in front of him and pulled his knees closer to his chest. So that was it, then. He couldn’t follow Wally anymore, and they would soon be really and truly separated. Stanley told himself he wouldn’t do it, but he felt a tear or two break through his defenses and begin to dot his cheeks. He swiped at them furiously. As he did so, he looked up from his seated position on the ground and saw someone.
Not anyone. Bonabelle.
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Stanley O'Malley
Vulnerable [Tag: Bonabelle]
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Bonabelle Row
April 12, 2023 1:40 AM
Ew please stop. by Bonabelle Row
Bonabelle had taken to meandering alone in the Gardens as often as it was feasible and reasonable for her to do. It was difficult at best to get a moment alone in the chaos of a small school, especially as prefect and even more especially while dating the most gregarious person she'd ever met, and as the school year rushed by it seemed more important than ever to have moments alone. It was the only time she was truly able to clear her head. The air of the illusory Scottish countryside tasted more like home than anywhere else ever had, although she knew her grandparents in Ireland tried their best. In many ways, those rolling green hills were home. In some ways, London still was. In most ways, Valentine was.As she kicked a stray pebble off the path, she considered why it didn't feel like she really belonged any of those places. It felt very much as though each were a temporary place to house a fragment of herself. Sonora housed her student self, Ireland her family self, Valentine her loving self... Merlin, she really did love that girl. It wasn't something she'd ever hoped to happen, mostly because she'd never thought it was possible for people to love each other altruistically. Her uncle and Ema (Bonabelle had occasionally even taken to calling her 'Aunt Ema') were an excellent example but even they weren't married. Why not? Was it because marriage was an unnecessary stamp on an already sealed and sent envelope? Or because marriage was doomed to fail so if they never got married then they didn't have to worry about it? Grammy and Grandfather made it look possible but what did Bonabelle know of the depths of that relationship?
What did she know about any relatinship?
She kept her eyes down as they got misty, refusing to wipe the forming tears because she refused to acknowledge they existed at all. There had to be another pebble around, or else something to kick. A person came into her view, sitting on the ground. Not just any person. Stanley.
There had been a time when she would've been more than happy to kick him, but she didn't feel that towards him anymore. In fact, it was a shocking sense of affection and concern that found its way into her chest as she took in the sorry state of him. After only a moment's hesitation, she circled around behind him and sat on the ground with her back to his. It was hard to say who was supporting the other. Who was depending on the other. But he was warm, and present, and that felt nice. He was also bony and stupid but that was just part of the deal with Stanley and she didn't mind so much.
"Hey," she murmured, leaning her head back to rest on the curve of his shoulders.
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Bonabelle Row
Ew please stop.
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Stanley O'Malley
April 25, 2023 4:20 PM
Would if I could. by Stanley O'Malley
There had been a time where he would have been more than happy to trip her, assuming she hadn’t already kicked him, he didn’t feel that towards her anymore. Regardless of how weird the situation had been, Stanley did take her to a school ball once, and he thought Bonabelle had even looked kinda… nice. Like she was a pretty girl. And though he’d failed to exactly match the shade of her dress, somehow, that image had remained in his mind’s eye: the two of them, maybe even dancing. She didn’t dress like that all the time, but he always saw the outline of her silhouette like a ghost around her day-to-day clothes.It hadn’t been like that with Val. Maybe part of it was just that he was younger then, not fully capable of developing those deeper, truer feelings of attraction. Or, the more likely option, the one he knew to be true, was that he had never really liked Val all that much. He just thought she was cute, and she was funny and nice and all, but mostly he’d been bored and decided it was time to start dating. When he looked at Bonabelle, the two of them ever-closer to their real and tangible adulthood, there was something deeper inside him that awoke. When she spoke, sometimes he flinched, but sometimes he also shivered.
But this time she didn’t speak. Not right away, anyway. She came down to his level, and she leaned on him. Stanley felt himself give weight back to her, too.
“Hey.”
Soft. He hadn’t expected such softness in her voice, or her head on his shoulder. “Hey,” he said back, his voice low and quiet. He brushed dark hair away from her face. So soft as well. “You okay?”
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Stanley O'Malley
Would if I could.
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Bonabelle Row
May 06, 2023 12:30 AM
Well... THIS is fine though. by Bonabelle Row
In all honesty, Bonabelle hadn't really understood what it meant to be poly. She knew in theory and she understood all the words she was told about how Val felt, but that was it. She was barely interested in being with one person; how could she make any sense of being with more than that? But it made Val happy. Despite a whole lot of feelings about her feelings, she thought that maybe she could understand a little more when Stanley's hand brushed her hair away. It was the first time she'd ever really thought that both was what she wanted. She looked at him with a new expression, unguarded in a way she wasn't normally around anyone except Val. She considered his question for a moment as she searched his face."Yes," she said slowly. "Everything is fine, but I feel all messy. I'm never messy," she grimaced, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the very idea of being anything but prepared and organized, ready for everything. "What about you? Okay?" she asked softly. She took a deep breath, somewhere between a sigh and a just... flop. She wasn't going to say how comforting it was to have him close like that while she tried to unwind herself.
For a brief moment, her thoughts flicked to whether Val would be jealous. The mental image of her girlfriend featured the Teppenpaw cheering her on instead, so she suspected she knew the girl well enough to know jealousy would have been the last thing on her mind; if Bonabelle was happy, Valentine was happy. They were symbiotic that way.
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Bonabelle Row
Well... THIS is fine though.
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Stanley O'Malley
May 06, 2023 10:53 PM
Is it? by Stanley O'Malley
Despite Bonabelle’s statement that she was feeling messy, there was something here that felt so… clean. Or maybe clean wasn’t the right word, exactly, but it was… fresh? Refreshing? Bright. Definitely bright. Something about her still carried a brightness that even now, when Stanley had been sitting here alone and in such darkness, shined a new light to things such that, despite nothing changing other than her presence, things felt a little bit better.Bonabelle returned the inquiry, and his first, automatic response was, “Yeah.” But then on further reflection, his mouth chose honestly while his brain still struggled to keep up. “No,” Stanley confessed. “I applied to this school, and I wouldn’t really care except it’s where Wally wants to go, and… I didn’t get in.”
“It’s just really hitting me that our time as kids is running out, and I’ve got no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing,” he stated, perhaps a bit too quickly. “Wally’s the planner. He’s got a school in mind and he’s got Val to be near, and I just feel like I’m gonna get left behind.” Whatever expression of surprise Bonabelle was potentially wearing, Stanley’s own expression surely exceeded it; he had surprised even himself with that much information. The Crotalus was not the type of guy to sit down and talk about his feelings, but there were just so many of them lately, and something felt so different with Bonabelle right now. There was a part of him that just wanted to kiss her right now, to hold her and never let go. In equal parts, he wanted this for both of them: to make his brain stop and make her feel less messy, although surely it would have just raised further complications. But he wanted it anyway.
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Stanley O'Malley
Is it?
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Bonabelle Row
May 07, 2023 10:40 PM
Not anymore. by Bonabelle Row
OOC: Val details confirmed by her author. BIC:
Bonabelle was not wearing an expression of surprise. It wasn't even shock, although that was closer. She thought that the way a mandrake probably feels when it's shoved in a new pot of dirt and all it wants to do is scream and kill people but instead it's got a mouthful of dirt and tiny ugly fists that it can't even punch with because it's just... stuck. Stuck, with a scream stuck even further down.
Val wasn't even going to school after Sonora, she had plans for an apprenticeship. And her high school date that one time was about to change his whole life plans to follow her around without even consulting the fact that half of Val's life was Bonabelle? Did Bonabelle not get any input on that? And they were literal witches and wizards and poor little Wally couldn't stand being a whole portkey away from the object of his obsession, he had to be so close that he could squeeze all the light out of her?
Her being Val of course. This was about Val. It wasn't about the insecurities that still swam in Bonabelle's head when she saw the way her gregarious other-half smiled at other people, and it wasn't about all the ways Bonabelle felt wholly unworthy and undeserving of this relationship in the first place. She was perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop but right now she hoped it dropped right on top of Wally's head.
She staunchly refused to cry, or even be sad enough to get close. It just wasn't going to happen. But she also wasn't quite managing anger because who the heck was she angry at? Truthfully, probably everyone. She was mad at Valentine for being so lovable that, through no fault of her own, their relationship felt exceptionally uneven. She was mad at Wally for having the appropriate equipment to grant future-Val the babies she wanted so dearly, when Bonabelle couldn't. She was then mad at Val again for not just being down for some medical intervention and requiring a boy to actually stick around for baby purposes. She was mad at Wally again then for wanting to stick around. She was mad at Stanley for being stuck to Wally and for feeling like her parallel in all this because where did that leave her if she was the upside down parody of her girlfriend's twin? She didn't want to be a sister to Val. But... did she want to be a wife? Did she want the fancy dresses and the wedding and the cake and the babies and the happily ever after?
She couldn't answer those questions, because she was too unconvinced they were real anyway. And then she was mad some more because why had her mom left? Why had her dad left? Why hadn't she been smart enough to feel a damn thing about any of it? Logic was her plans A, B, and C, and she didn't have any other choices but to think when her heart was too small to feel anything other than vague disdain for the messier people around her. But Val was emotional and didn't seem messy... certainly Bonabelle didn't hold her in any disdain.
So what the heck? And why did this stupid boy sitting out here with her now get to just be part of all that without her permission? And why didn't he want to be? They'd kissed for Merlin's sake and that was it? Even people who had the opportunity and permission to get close to her didn't want to be and that was really friggin' crappy.
Feeling a lot like she wanted to hit something and surprising herself that she didn't actually want to hit Stanley, she jumped to her feet when he was done speaking; she couldn't stand it any longer. A lot of words she wasn't supposed to say from at least three countries flew out of her mouth in an impressive stream that sounded a lot like anger and looked a lot like fear as she paced like a cage animal, howling at nothing.
"Why does everyone else get to decide who we are?!" she demanded of no one in particular, although she had turned back to Stanley when she said it. Her arms were out, daring the universe to answer her question. "Why isn't there a single choice any of us get to make ourselves? Everything is always about everyone else! It's not fair." More choice words. "How come the only person who likes me likes everyone?!"
The anger towards Stanley returned. How dare he? How dare he?! How dare he get her to say so much and feel so much and be so little?
She slammed onto her knees in front of him, grabbing the front of his robes and shaking him in an uncharacteristic display of the sort of aggression she usually kept locked in her own head pretty well. "Why don't you want me?!" she shouted at him before kissing him firmly on the mouth. "What's wrong with me, huh?!"
OOC: If Stanley would interrupt at any point, let me know and I can edit.
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Bonabelle Row
Not anymore.
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Stanley O'Malley
May 08, 2023 7:44 PM
I think I have whiplash. by Stanley O'Malley
OOC: Stanley would not interrupt. However, same offer applies. Let me know if Bonabelle would stop him at any point and I can make revisions. BIC:
Unbeknownst to Stanley, as he spoke, there was something bubbling behind him. And then when he stopped, and Bonabelle jumped up with what he could only assume were foreign expletives, it became very, very knownst.
The parts of what she said that made sense to him… made a lot of sense to him. It was an anger he didn’t realize that he felt too. Why didn’t he get a say in any of this? Stanley knew he had a tendency to boss Wally around or assume that they were on the same page and make day to day decisions for the both of them, but maybe this was why: ultimately, everything was up to Wally. He was the one with a future and with goals and a girlfriend to pursue.
Why didn’t Stanley have any of that? Didn’t he deserve it? He didn’t want Val - he seemed to be the only one on that front now - but Bonabelle… she was sure something. And now she was literally shaking him, unstable and angry and god was she hot.
“Why don’t you want me?”
Before he even had time to process that demand, she was lunging forward, and he almost flinched before he realized she was actually kissing him. It wasn’t soft and sweet like Val (of course, they’d been basically children when they dated, but he assumed she was probably still soft and sweet). It was hard and strong, a fiery burst with the taste of salt - he couldn’t decide whose tears that could be from. And then it was over, all too fast.
“What’s wrong with me, huh?!”
They were staring at each other, his ears ringing and his lips tingling. Stanley didn’t know how to speak anymore, especially not how to answer that. So he did the only thing he could: he kissed her again. His hands found either side of her face and drew her back into him, where he wished she’d always stay. Stanley tried to find her rhythm, and though clumsily at first - perhaps too hungrily - he felt he found something there. A connection.
And then he let her go.
“Nothing,” he breathed. “Oh my God, Bonabelle, literally nothing.” He felt a dumb smile creeping onto his face, one that could easily and appropriately get him punched pretty soon, but he didn’t even care. “I just didn’t want to-... I mean, things are so… complicated, and I thought… I mean, didn’t you hate me? So I was afraid of… I don’t know. But you are perfect. And anyone who can’t see that can go” - This was his turn to say some mature language, although his was strictly an efficient English monosyllabic verb - “themselves.”
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Stanley O'Malley
I think I have whiplash.
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Bonabelle Row
May 09, 2023 1:39 AM
Are you insulting me?! by Bonabelle Row
Bonabelle had just had enough time to register mild shock at her own actions when they were being reciprocated. It felt right because there was a non-zero chance she would have burst into tears or yelled some more had he not kissed her and she didn't want to feel that way. She wanted to feel exactly this. One of her hands was lost in his hair as the other pulled him closer roughly by the shoulder. It was different than kissing Val, not least because Val was a very tiny person and Stanley was a nearly-grown-male-person and his hands took up all of Bonabelle's face. It made her feel hungry and desperate to be kissed like that, when kissing Val made her feel full and satisfied.Stanley let her go and to Bonabelle's surprise, the world did not come crashing down around them. Things kept going. The earth kept spinning. Her heart kept pounding. To her further surprise, her position on her knees had landed her now on top of his lap and she quickly scooted away from him despite something very warm in her stomach telling her to do the exact opposite.
"I hated you when I thought you wanted Val," she said, biting her lip; it tasted like Stanley. "Well, when I thought you were not being kind to her. I did hate you for that. But you... you just let me hate you? You're the only person I've ever hated who didn't try to make me stop or try to fix it. You stayed you. And you're a very good kisser by the way." The compliment came out matter-of-factly, leaning back into her more pragmatic ways. She smirked at his compliment, one which was much less logical and much better all at once. Then she grinned. Finally, she laughed. "You like me," she stated, turning to fall onto her back in the dirt beside him. "I like you too."
Then her eyes got round. "Oh merlin, I like you too. I'm not polyamorous! That's Val!" The fire in her stomach suddenly felt like it was trying to get out through her mouth and she thought it might be nice to puke. Did she have to break up with Val? Did she have to push Stanley away? Or was she falling into an identity she never thought she'd be into but one which seemed wholly better than any alternative. She raised an eyebrow at Stanley. "Well, what do you think? Do you care if your girlfriend has a girlfriend?"
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Bonabelle Row
Are you insulting me?!
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Stanley O'Malley
May 11, 2023 8:31 PM
I don't think so, but I'm losing track. by Stanley O'Malley
Everything was going so fast. Twelve minutes ago, if you’d asked him, Stanley would’ve told you that if he turned up missing, Bonabelle was probably among the leading suspects. And he also might have been telling you flatly through his disappointment, as he had just opened that college rejection and his whole world felt wrong. And now it was kinda still wrong, but different wrong, and also very much right? He didn’t really know anymore. He was kissing Bonabelle and that was about as far as his brain had gotten.He was close to forming words, with the intention of conceding that yeah, that was fair, because he had been unkind to Val, just like he’d been unkind to Wally without even realizing it. Valentine was always meant to be with Wally; Stanley had just gotten in the way. And yeah, he’d been a real jerk. He was still kind of a jerk, honestly, but he’d tried really hard the last few years to be less of a tool in general.
But he didn’t have a chance to say any of that, because then Bonabelle was.. Laughing? And also saying she liked him too. That was… wow. Insane.
Immediately thereafter, though, she realized what that meant. Oh, right, Bonabelle had a girlfriend. Stanley had never kissed anyone with a girlfriend before. (Okay, well, not totally true since he had kissed Bonabelle before, a long time ago, but not like this.) And then, the culmination: "Well, what do you think? Do you care if your girlfriend has a girlfriend?"
His jaw lowered to speak, but at first, no sound came out. “Uhhhh,” eventually filled the silence. “I never really thought about that before, so I don’t have a prepared answer,” Stanley admitted earnestly. “I… I’d try, though. I mean, I’d like to. Can we try it?”
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Stanley O'Malley
I don't think so, but I'm losing track.
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