The time has come. [Tag Ema] on At Home

Killian Row

December 25, 2021 8:19 PM

The time has come. [Tag Ema] by Killian Row

OOC: CW - Suggestion of adult activities. BIC:

Today, a watch adorned Killian's wrist. That wasn't entirely unusual - the man was, despite his chaos, an organized chap with mostly meetings to attend for a living - but it was unusual that he was fidgeting with it. A watch was a symbol of time, of change, of movement, and that was very much on Killian's mind when he'd gotten dressed that morning, knowing he needed to prepare for a conversation he was finding entirely unpredictable. He'd like very much if he knew how it would go, but it was impossible to tell. Still, he'd been mature about the matter and kissed Ema goodbye before they parted for the day with a quick "I'd like to talk to you tonight about something, okay? Nothing's wrong" and a smile, with one more kiss on her forehead. He was fairly confident that meant she'd been a big ball of stress all day but it was, in his opinion, always better to have more information than less. What if she'd spent the whole day planning some adult fun times for dinner, strip stir fry or something, and then he had a conversation he wanted to bring up?

He added a mental note to suggest strip stir fry later in the week.

He arrived home before Ema, having made sure he'd cleared enough of his afternoon schedule to do so. It wasn't unlike him to work into the fairly late hours of the evening, although he tried to be sure he was always home for dinner - it was impossible to predict the needs of students and he did have a fair few nights he was on call still - but it didn't seem right to leave Ema to her stressball self all day and into the evening. He wasn't entirely sure she was stressed but he'd be stressed so he figured she was probably stressed.

When she arrived, he'd prepared dinner - Yorkshire puddings with mushrooms and mushroom gravy, and baked mac 'n' cheese on the side - and poured them each a glass of wine to go with it. He'd learned a lot about cooking in the past several months, though he'd never been a terrible cook, and a lot of it had been about how to make good dinners that were vegetarian-friendly. Ema probably would have included like eight more vegetables but he wasn't as fancy as she was and she must have accepted that if they'd made it this far already.

"Hi," he smiled at her, immediately more at ease now that his imagination was put aside in favor of the actual moment before him. "How was work?"

They had their usual catch up conversation and Killian gave Ema room to settle and get the work out of her bones as they started their meal before he transitioned into the topic that was on his mind.

"I wanted to talk to you about something we've discussed before but not at any real length," he began. "Also, to be clear, I love you dearly and nothing has changed in that department." He smiled wanly at her, wanting to reassure her before she could need reassurance while also knowing he was risking bringing the question to her mind if she hadn't been worried before. "You know that I'm bi, and you know that I'm polyamorous. I wanted to talk to you again about what boundaries you're comfortable with in our relationship. There's someone that I am interested in talking to more and maybe going out with. I don't know whether he'd be interested but I wanted to talk to you first either way."

He had, he knew, made it clear from the beginning that he was not interested in a relationship that was so closed as to make him feel as though a part of him was being cut off. At the same time, he hadn't at that time anticipated such a serious relationship as they'd grown to have and he also wasn't seeking her 'okay' to get out on one night stands with anyone else. There was a balance to be struck and at the end of the day, Killian didn't want to lose himself or Ema.

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Ema Skies

December 27, 2021 3:00 AM

To talk of cabbages and kings? by Ema Skies

I’d like to talk to you tonight about something. Nothing’s wrong.

That was a sentence and a half to exit a room on, and it was downright cruel. If you needed to talk to someone, Ema felt you should wait until you had time to have the conversation, not just drop vague and threatening hints about it. Okay, the words ‘nothing’s wrong’ had been used, but those were very subjective, and now she had to wonder all day frigging long, vacillating from being convinced that it must be a nice surprise to being sure the world was about to end.

She arrived home to a dinner of carbs with a side of carbs and gravy on top. She contemplated getting out the left over peas from when she’d cooked, and optimistically made enough vegetables for two normal people. But she was too fidgety to spend extra time when Killian had dinner ready on the table. And something to talk to her about.

“Fine,” she answered, regarding work. “Yours?” She toyed around for a few sentences, but her heart wasn’t in catching up. “You said you had something to talk to me about?” she prompted, cutting off the small talk in favour of getting to what was really going on.

It began with an assurance that he loved her. That was not particularly comforting because that sounded like a prelude to something that was going to make her doubt that. She focussed on tackling a tough bit of Yorkshire pudding with her knife, trying to give herself something to do whilst he explained himself.

Ah. That.

A part of her brain had wondered when and how that would come up, and what it would feel like. And by wondered, it would probably be more accurate to say ‘worried.’ Sometimes, she lay awake, imagining different ways Killian might want to bring other people into their relationship, and worrying that she wouldn’t be able to give the response he wanted. But those thoughts had been diminishing. Their lives and their relationship had been steady. There had been several times when she thought he might ask her for a pass of some kind that he didn’t—when he traveled solo to Canada, for example. They had established that don’t ask, don’t tell was not a valid option, so she had to trust (haltingly at first, but increasingly with the sheer normality and accountability with which he related his trips) that nothing went on. That whatever fun was on offer there wasn’t the kind he was looking for. And now, as he brought the subject up, she realised she’d been hoping that it wasn’t really going to happen. People could be a certain way and it could not really be expressed or be particularly part of their relationship with a particular person. She was bi, and probably some level of ace/demi, but even though a relationship with Killian didn’t erase those things, they weren’t frequently visible or relevant. The way her brain was spinning right now was strongly suggestive of the fact that she had hoped the same might be true of him.

She gave herself a moment to process what Killian had said. Talking to someone more. Asking someone out. Those sounded like… well, more than a passing wish to share a bit of fun with strangers. She couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.

“Who?” she asked. “And… what? Why? All the wh-questions,” she asked, digging up a smile to go with the comment, a tentative effort to make it sound joking, although she really needed to know. What she needed was more information. She realised that somewhere in what she’d been doing, she’d put her fork down (probably in some normal action like getting her water glass but she couldn’t remember taking a drink). She picked it up again, making herself a deliberately small mouthful of food so that it was easy to swallow.

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