A Christmas Riddle (tag Killian) on Alumni

Elliot Fuller

May 07, 2021 8:41 PM

A Christmas Riddle (tag Killian) by Elliot Fuller

It was Elliot who answered the knock on the door of Jean’s apartment. He was not at all surprised to find Killian standing on the other side, having been warned he would be coming by. He doubted that Killian had been warned in return to expect him, seeing as this had all kicked off less than twelve hours ago – hence the fact that Jean had overslept and was still in the shower.

“Hi. Good to see you again.” The fact that he had slept here was going to be the most immediately obvious thing, as he was wearing a bathrobe – one which was not fully closed enough to hide the fact that underneath he was wearing his boxers, and a running vest with a rainbow swoosh and the words ‘Just Do Him.’ He lounged against the doorframe, entirely at ease, and gave Killian a moment to take in the full bizarreness of the rest of the spectacle; namely that he was currently juggling (not quite literally) both a bottle of Firewhiskey and a baby bottle half full of milk.

“I’ll give you three guesses,” he grinned, although it turned into an attempt to stifle a yawn, adding the fact that he hadn’t had much sleep the night before to the picture.

13 Elliot Fuller A Christmas Riddle (tag Killian) 0 Elliot Fuller 1 5

Killian Row

May 10, 2021 1:21 PM

Wrap me in a bow; it's Christmas in July. by Killian Row

Killian had been looking down at his own shoes the moment before Jean-Loup's door opened and he looked up with his mouth open to say something automatically when he discovered it wasn't Jean-Loup at all who was standing there. The person who was standing there wasn't wearing much and what he was wearing was rather incriminating, even if he hadn't been holding the things he was. Not yet sure whether this was something Killian should grin about, although he was pretty sure it was, he raised an eyebrow and snapped his mouth shut into a suggestive smirk.

"Good to see you too," he said first since it would be rude not to start there. "Not to yuck your yum, but that'll curdle in your stomach if you drink them together," he added, gesturing at the products in Elliot's hands. "Not that I'm speaking from experience," he promised with mock seriousness, although he hoped he hadn't just implied that he drank human milk because that was definitely not a thing he was either (A) into or (B) wanted to know that Jean-Loup was into.

He held up three fingers, counting off his guesses as he listed them. "Bachelor party, baby shower, or birthday party," he decided. "Either way, looks like someone - or a few someones? - had a very goodnight. Which often comes with a rough morning . . . slept in?" he guessed mentally giving both these young men a big atta boy, although he tried not to have too many opinions before he knew more.

22 Killian Row Wrap me in a bow; it's Christmas in July. 1450 0 5

Elliot Fuller

May 10, 2021 6:14 PM

Pretty sure it's still December by Elliot Fuller

To give him his credit, Killian seemed very capable of taking things in his stride.

“Of course not,” Elliot nodded with mock solemnity when Killian stated he wasn’t speaking from experience. “But it’s not for me. Well, not at 9am anyway.” He wasn’t above having a bit of the whisky later. Or the milk during breakfast, but definitely this current combo definitely wasn’t his.

“Ahh, if only,” he replied to Killian’s raised eyebrows. “You could have just said ‘theme party’ and saved yourself two whole guesses,” he shook his head. “But you didn’t and it’s cold, so come in and see how wrong you are. Well, except the part about late nights and lie ins – Jean’s in the shower.” Hopefully that part was a comfort, as there had just started a strange sort of rasping noise from somewhere inside.

He stepped back, letting Killian in. The flat was small enough that almost everything about the situation would be quite quickly apparent. The fact that there was a pillow and a set of blankets on the couch was the thing most likely to be in Killian’s eyeline, although the creature tucked up in the corner was probably more eye-catching, especially as it was the source of the noises. It looked like it was probably supposed to be a foal, but like someone had done an exceptionally bad job in putting it together – or, more likely, in taking care of it. It was painfully thin, more skin and bone than animal, and with much of that skin currently covered in a thick paste that suggested some form of medication had been applied to it. One wing, slightly tattered, protruded from her spine, but where the other one should have been was only a smooth lump.

Elliot slipped off his bathrobe, swapping it for a green day robe that was sitting folded near a doctor’s bag, and knelt down next to his patient.

“I found in one of the fields near our stables,” he explained, lifting the foal’s head gently onto his knees so that her head tilted back. He put the bottle in her mouth. “I’m guessing someone abandoned her cos of this,” he reached out, rubbing the place where the second wing should have been. “But that doesn’t matter, does it?” he said gently, clearly speaking to the foal now, stroking her mane as she sucked at the bottle. “You’re still a lovely girl, aren’t you?

“We can’t keep her at the stables because she’s got a skin infection – it’s only contagious to other horses, not people,” he assured Killian. “And my mom said I can’t keep her in our house.”

“I also said this,” said a voice from the bathroom door. Jean had appeared, also wrapped in a snug bathrobe. “But then he used mind control magic on me.”

Elliot looked up, eyes wide and lip pouting.

“She was gonna d-i-e.”

“Yeah, that’s the spell,” Jean rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Hi. Good to see you,” he grinned at Killian. “I will get dressed, and then we can go out of the veterinary clinic?” he suggested. He cast a quick glance between Elliot and Killian, suggesting that he wasn’t entirely sure about leaving them alone together, but unless he wanted to hit the town in his bathrobe, he had very little choice, and he disappeared into the bedroom. Besides the fact that Elliot had seen fit to dump a sick foal in Jean’s house, there were several other signs that they’d spent more time together since the meeting early in the summer – most notably in the small gallery of photos pinned to the side of the bookcase. There were a few from Vancouver Pride, and some from what looked like a formal event. In both cases, there were bigger group shots, and different combinations of people, though there was also a paired photo of Jean and Elliot from each occasion. Though the sofa bed next this little gallery suggested that had just been as friends.

13 Elliot Fuller Pretty sure it's still December 0 Elliot Fuller 0 5

Killian Row

June 03, 2021 5:02 PM

Ah yes. That thing that I totally knew. by Killian Row

"But if I guessed 'theme party,' then I'd have had to come up with two other brilliant ideas," Killian pointed out, taking Elliot up on his offer and entering Jean-Loup's flat. The creature that stood within was certainly not Jean-Loup however (unless they were into something way outside of Killian's comfort range, which was saying something) and his eyes rounded some as he saw it. His first thought then turned to Marsh. Although the two worked together, Killian rarely thought too much of it, not least because their work rarely brought them in close contact and they'd both been busy enough not to spend inordinate amounts of time together. Still, there had been a time when Killian had hoped, even thought, that his life might look a bit like this. It had been Jean-Loup who had encouraged moves in that direction even, although it hadn't happened before Killian had met Ema. Much as Ema knew and (mostly?) accepted the fact that Killian was polyamorous, I'd like to pursue my coworker seemed a bit close to home in more ways than one and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, especially when their relationship was still relatively young. And of course the fact that Killian didn't know whether Marsh would have such interests anyway, and putting himself out there was risky anyway but especially with a colleague, and especially when their shared supervisor/boss was Killian's girlfriend's mother.

It was complicated. Everything was complicated.

But Elliot was explaining himself before Killian could do more than look on sympathetically as he took in the creature's - he was pretty sure it was an Abraxan - state. "She's beautiful," he agreed when Elliot cooed at the creature like it was his own child. He wasn't about to admit it, but he'd had similar feelings at times about particularly well organized brochures that had been ruined in one way or another; workaholism often looked a lot more mushy-gushy than people thought. At least Elliot's passion for work made him kind to animals instead of paper products; that was way less weird.

He looked up when Jean-Loup walked in and smiled with another, more obviously suggestive tweak of his eyebrow since he was behind Elliot, where the expression couldn't be seen by anyone but Jean-Loup himself. "Morning, sunshine," Killian said, not bothering to hide his amused grin as the two younger men bantered for a moment. "I am familiar with this brand of mind control magic," he agreed. "It's very potent. Best we get out of the clinic before you need to be taken to the healers. Since you're the closest one around, I think that makes you your own patient." His eyes took in the room, the pictures, the corner bed, all before coming back to Jean-Loup with a look that made it clear he wanted all the details as soon as they were out of earshot of Jean-Loup's . . . schoolmate?

22 Killian Row Ah yes. That thing that I totally knew. 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

June 04, 2021 6:44 AM

Totally by Jean Wolfe

“Thanks.” Elliot looked up a moment from the foal to offer Killian a genuine and warm smile when he complimented Elliot’s patient. It was slightly hard to tell, with Killian’s accent, whether or not he was being sarcastic, but Elliot decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. One of his hands continued stroking the mane, and he quickly returned his attention to the creature.

Jean didn’t manage to come up with much other than embarrassed mumbling at Killian’s words, and Elliot suspected he wasn’t the only one smirking as Jean went into his bedroom. He decided to be a model of good behaviour, and made polite small talk of the type that first introductions were usually made of. He sensed that Killian would absolutely be up for roasting their mutual friend somewhat, or hearing some of the jucier bits of gossip about him, but those weren’t lines it was fair of Elliot to cross.

“You’re incognito,” he blinked, when Jean emerged a moment later in jeans and a knitted sweatshirt.

“Yeah. Cos I know what you want.” He arched his eyebrows in a way that challenged Elliot to deny that the fact Tim Horton’s weren’t allowed to know that Jean’s flat existed was frequently his biggest problem with the world. And that he was currently housebound, because no way was Jean foal sitting.

“You don’t have to… I mean, you hate going by yourself?”

“I am not by myself,” he nodded towards Killian. “You know enough of the Muggle world to make sure I don’t get hit by the car, etc, yes?” He rummaged in the pockets of the jeans that were slung over the sofa arm, pulling out a wallet and extracting a few bills. He was slow handling them and differentiating between them, still giving them the slightly puzzled look of a foreigner, but one who was gradually getting to grips with the strange place in which he found himself.

“You’re the best,” Elliot grinned from the floor. And because he was still busy with the foal, blew a kiss instead of offering a hug.

“Unlike your choice of coffee.” Jean didn’t return the gesture, but he smiled a little, before hurriedly propelling Killian out of the door.

“We can go somewhere not Muggle, somewhere more nice. I just will pick up his coffee on the way back. Not that the Muggle things are not nice. Just…” he flailed in a way that he hoped communicated that he preferred being somewhere where he felt more confident of what was going on, and which didn’t have the plastic ambience of a terrible chain store. Elliot fully admitted that his coffee and doughnut preferences were somewhat shady, but he had the associated nostalgia of growing up on it. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he added. “And don’t say ‘Oh, I did not say that thing,’” he added, doing a voice that definitely was not his own but which was very questionable if it was attempt at Killian’s. “You did eyebrows, and you are thinking it very loud.”

13 Jean Wolfe Totally 1506 0 7

Killian Row

June 05, 2021 11:06 PM

Yes, I'm very on top of things. by Killian Row

Killian raised his eyebrows, curious what exactly it was that Jean-Loup knew that Elliot wanted, but not quite curious enough to actually ask just yet. He'd have to wait for a more private moment. The fact that it then turned into a question of his abilities to navigate the muggle world surprised him even more and he merely nodded, an ambience-induced smile still on his face. "Yes," he agreed, in case a nod wasn't sufficient.

"Car crashes will be avoided. I even know how to drive one if really pressed, although I do hope you'd have given me more notice if I was going to have to show off that particular skill..." he grimaced a bit, remembering the last time he'd driven a car. It wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened but he'd much prefer to apparate than drive and he wasn't a big fan of that either.

Amused by the rest of the exchange between Jean-Loup and Elliot, Killian simply waved on his way out of the flat with the former. "Happy holidays!" he added over his shoulder as the door shut. It was almost a feat that he managed it considering just how fast Jean-Loup seemed to be trying to get them out. It seemed like a big display of trust to leave someone in his flat, presuming they weren't roommates (and Killian suspected he would have heard if that were the case), and he couldn't help being a bit proud of just how far out of his shell the young medical student had come, especially given his circumstances.

He nodded, not caring much either way whether they went to wherever Elliot wanted 'bad' coffee from or whether they went somewhere else, although he would naturally have preferred somewhere that offered more than only tea. Still, this was a visit to Jean-Loup, which made Jean-Loup the chooser; Killian gestured for Jean-Loup to lead the way and followed by his side when he did.

He opened his mouth to say the thing Jean-Loup cut him off by telling him not to say and dissolved into a teasing grin instead. "I did do eyebrows," he admitted willingly. "And I'm glad I'm thinking loudly! Some people might question whether there's a thought in there at all," he joked, tapping on the side of his forehead with one finger. "Glad to know the old thinker is still ticking away. So how are things going with not-your-boyfriend in there?"

22 Killian Row Yes, I'm very on top of things. 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

June 07, 2021 3:46 AM

Very by Jean Wolfe

"Nice," Elliot grinned, looking up again to evaluate Killian, as he revealed unexpected skills. "But probably unncessary. Unless you wanna go road tripping?" he asked Jean, his tone clearly teasing.

"Merci, non."

Jean could do cars, just about, but he still found them claustrophic and mildy unnerving. Sometimes, he could accept their normality at face value, reasoning that Elliot and everyone else had been doing this for years and it didn't generally end in disaster. Even the fact that it could was not much argument against it, when the same could be said of all magical travel too. It was just that sometimes he became hyper aware of what was happening - namely, that they were hurtling along in a metal box, powered in ways he didn't understand and which might have increased likelihood of breaking due to his presence, surrounded by other hurtling metal boxes controlled by total strangers. At those points, he very much wanted to get out.

He liked his own feet. He liked letting them take him places. Putting one foot in front of the other was a skill he had had since before he could remember. It came with the added benefit of feeling something solid. He fell into step beside Killian, as he asked for a full definition of Elliot.

"Great." That was the easy part of the answer. He weighed up what else to add. How to summarise their friendship.

"He's kind of different to me. His family is half-half." And he's confident, and outgoing, and mentally well-balanced, aside from all the insane ideas he has like taking a major roadtrip. "But also his mother is Quebecois, so he has good French. Well," he made a face that fondly evaluated and critiqued Elliot's French, recalling that Killian had direct experience of what a mangled mess it tended to be.

"They live here. He lives with them. They're very lovely. I see them a lot." When he wanted a home-cooked meal, or to just relax in somewhere that felt relaxing, and didn't have weird stains on the walls. Somewhere that felt like... Like a nice place, with a family. They were skilled at opening their doors, and at forcing left-overs on him without making him feel like a charity.

"And then, he will use my place when he wants to do stupid, like raise the Abraxan in the kitchen." Or go out and get trashed, but he wasn't about to talk about that with Killian. Elliot's parents were chill enough that they probably wouldn't have had a problem with him drinking (a fact Elliot himself had pointed out and which stiff baffled Jean-Loup) but it was more fun to see the night through with friends. "Mine or someone else's. He's popular." Jean-Loup was probably his go to for things like an Abraxan, because he could scarcely make the argument that his place might get messed up. But after a night out... Well, Elliot didn't always need a sofa to crash on, because sometimes he found a bed.

"It is very strange. I feel not like I know him only this little amount of time. Like it is more. He's..." He searched for words other than 'amazing' or 'wonderful' - words which didn't even seem to cover it, but which were likely to betray how deeply and horribly infatuated he was, just in case that wasn't already obvious. The only other word he could come up with was 'everything,' which really wasn't going to lessen that impression. Elliot existed almost entirely outside of Jean's comfort zone. There was just enough overlap for them to have crossed paths, and for Elliot have taken him by the hand and pull him into his world. And it didn't feel scary or dangerous because he was so good at taking care of people. He had pulled him into going to Pride, had forced him to celebrate his birthday, even though Jean-Loup had been reluctant, still associating both of those with Dorian. Elliot's advice had been never to give a significant occasion away to someone else. So, Jean had done his best to follow that... "He's my best friend," he summarised. "I can't imagine if anything happened to make him go away."

13 Jean Wolfe Very 1506 0 7

Killian Row

June 08, 2021 1:57 PM

It's like it's my job or something. by Killian Row

Killian kept his face as neutral as possible, which was to say that it was settled into the same teasing, amused smile it had been when he'd first asked the question. That was important because properly neutral would've been a give away that he wasn't feeling neutral at all. In fact, he was feeling lots of things other than neutral. Jean-Loup talked about Elliot like a starving man talks about a single bite of food; it wasn't the sort of gushing admiration of a man with enough to eat but the desperate of hope of someone who just wanted to be full again. That was much scarier. Killian only knew the symptoms because he'd been that person very recently himself. There was a fear that came with starving because you were always afraid your new feast may turn to famine. Of course, Killian may have been projecting . . . good as he was at reading people, it was his life's greatest irony that relationship analysis was not his strength.

By the time Jean-Loup finished, Killian was pretty solidly convinced that the younger man was completely in love with Elliot, although he couldn't glean whether it was a two-way thing with so little of Elliot's perspective to use. It was interesting though because Jean-Loup had almost never talked about Dorian. Granted, Dorian had been Killian's student at the time, but still; this was the closest Killian had ever seen Jean-Loup to gushing over someone. He smiled, happy that Jean-Loup had a best friend his age. He hadn't been able to help worrying that their own friendship might hinder Jean-Loup's ability to get on in the social circles he was stepping into at school but that seemed not to be the case and Killian couldn't be happier for his friend.

"I'm happy you have that," he said. "That's . . . well, that's how I feel about Ema. No eyebrows this time," he promised, pointing at his very still forehead. Then he smiled again and used stepping over a root coming out of the sidewalk as an excuse to look down and give Jean-Loup some space away from his own curious gaze. "You two weren't so close when I was here over the summer, right? This is newer than that?"

22 Killian Row It's like it's my job or something. 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

June 09, 2021 4:31 PM

So, what guidance do you have for me? by Jean Wolfe

Killian was smirking at him. That was normal enough that Jean-Loup was used to it. It still threw him off sometimes, that someone would let something so impolite show on their face. Though, of course, a well timed sneer hadn't been unknown in his previous life. At least this was friendly-impolite.

His own face slid into its neutral mask when Killian made the comment about Ema, even though he promised no eyebrows. Jean-Loup was becoming aware that his own neutral face was as much an expression as anything else, those close to him were usually treated to something more, and when he shut down it showed. It was a hard habit to break though, when it had been the way to keep himself safe for so many years.

People say you should marry your best friend.

He recalled the phrase from Bonabelle's letter, and how strange it sounded after a lifetime of being told to marry for wealth and advantage. Not that those options were available, or even appealing, but it didn't mean he knew how to do anything else. He wasn't sure what he wanted with Elliot... Whether it was to marry him, or just take him home for a long, wild night, or both, or neither and just go live under a rock because feelings were hard...Admittedly, the one time they'd tried the second option, it hadn't exactly worked to get that out of their systems. And afterwards had been so awkward.

"Yes?" he answered when Killian asked about the length of the friendship. His hesitation was not at whether he had the right answer, or whether he had understood the question, but he was wondering what Killian was getting at. That he shouldn't be as invested as he was? That he had had a life before this and could still have one if it went away? He knew there were other people here who were on his side, and he had good friends who would look after him. But something about the way he clicked with Elliot was special.

13 Jean Wolfe So, what guidance do you have for me? 1506 0 5

Killian Row

June 10, 2021 9:14 AM

Follow your heart but listen to your head; neither works well on its own. by Killian Row

Killian smiled more softly at Jean-Loup's admission that the friendship had blossomed since summer, both because that was the answer he had guessed and hoped for, and because Jean-Loup seemed thoroughly unsure of something about it. "It sounds like you just click. Like your friendship just makes a lot of sense. It's always kind of exciting when it happens that way; you find your person and you hold onto them because it doesn't make sense to do anything else. That's why I was asking," he clarified.

He thought again of Ema and the whirlwind start to their friendship and then relationship. It was hard to imagine his life without her now because it just made sense to have her there. It was only coming up on two years since he'd met her at Selina's summer barbeque and he couldn't imagine a day going by without his thoughts turning to her at least a little (or a lot) as he went about his business. When you found the right person, friendship or otherwise, it just felt right. Perhaps that was something worth pointing out.

"I won't say I think you should date him because that just depends on what you both want. I'm not trying to push anything," he said, wanting to make sure that point was driven home. "Whatever happens, it sounds like you have something special and important. And you needed that, so I think I owe the guy a drink sometime to thank him for that. I can help people get into colleges or jobs but I can't make sure they are looked after and settle in socially and that's the hardest thing for me sometimes. I'm glad that you are doing well." He put a hand on Jean-Loup's far shoulder, pulling the young man in for a walking side-hug and patting him solidly on the back. "That being said, I do miss having you around Sonora," he added with a brief frown before smiling again at his friend. "You're happy here?"

22 Killian Row Follow your heart but listen to your head; neither works well on its own. 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

June 17, 2021 7:31 AM

They're both just making confused screaming noises by Jean Wolfe

I won’t say you should date him. I’m not trying to push.

Jean-Loup tried not to sigh. It wasn’t as if that was totally unexpected. Killian had always been one for laying the options on the table and letting him pick, with maybe a word of advice or a little nudge here or there if he thought he didn’t have enough information to make an informed decision. He’d never choose for him. And Jean-Loup sort of wished that he could because from where he was standing there were no good options, and he just wanted someone to take charge of the problem and give it a good shake out and tell him ‘Look, here’s what you do…’ Even if it was just so he could have something to react against, to know that he didn’t want to, in order to help make up his mind…

“I want him not to disappear,” he repeated his earlier hope, though he was pretty sure Killian had no power to make that happen. No one did. He had no idea which option was the lower risk, or whether there was no such thing here and he was just doomed… Either he tried to date Elliot, but risked blowing up their whole friendship and losing him, and all the comfort and stability that came with having him in his life. Or he didn’t, and someone else swooped in and took him. He couldn’t stand either option.

“I’ll be sure to pass that along,” he said of Killian’s offer of a drink for Elliot. He wasn’t entirely convinced he wanted to do that promptly… He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of the two people who knew him best being able to discuss him at length.

“I miss having you around at all times. But yes,” he agreed, trying to put his angst about Elliot to one side and put on his happy face – not one that was faked or just for show, but one that was made up of the time he spent with his best friend, and everyone on the Queerditch team, and studying healing, and all the really very good things about being here. “I am happy,” he promised.

“You? It goes well with Ema?” he checked.

13 Jean Wolfe They're both just making confused screaming noises 1506 0 5

Killian Row

June 19, 2021 9:00 PM

The screams at the end of the tunnel . . .? by Killian Row

Killian offered another smile, this one a bit more sad. He knew well how much it hurt to see people disappear, and how littler there really was to avoid it happening. "Usually, when people disappear, it's a reflection on who they are. The right people don't disappear. Even just the right friends," he added, trying to be neutral even though he shipped this thing hard. Like sails were on, winds were favorable, and all he wanted was to see it sail.

He laughed when Jean-Loup completely insincerely offered to pass on his free drink pass to Elliot, knowing the younger man would probably rather be turned into a drink himself than let that meetup go on without him present. It was hard to say whether it was FOMO or anxiety (possibly the same thing in this case) that made Jean-Loup seem so unwilling but Killian couldn't entirely blame him; he was more confident now but there was definitely a time when he would not have loved the idea of Ema and Jean-Loup getting together over drinks without him there either. Of course, try telling either of them not to do something . . . it wouldn't get him very far.

"That's all I've ever wanted for you, you know," Killian said after a grin at Jean-Loup's admission. "Your happiness is the most important thing. I wanted you to get into school here, I wanted you to find people to connect with, I wanted you to fly the coop, but most importantly, I just want you to be happy, friend. I'm glad that it's turned out."

A tinge of pink tickled his face as the topic turned to Ema (or at least, it turned to her out loud; in his head, Ema was nearly always the main topic). "It goes well," he agreed. "Really well. I've never had anything like this before," he said. It was an admission but he didn't say it like one because admissions were only embarrassing if you thought that about them and it was best that relationships, romance, and sex be discussed openly when appropriate. There was nothing to be ashamed of in admitting he'd never loved or been loved the way he was now. "There's something really special about her and I think she thinks the same about me. It's a good feeling."

22 Killian Row The screams at the end of the tunnel . . .? 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

June 19, 2021 9:52 PM

Maybe by Jean Wolfe

The right people didn’t disappear. That was comforting to know, and it made it easier to take than a question between right vs good. If it was 'good' there was one person he couldn’t quite reconcile that with. Someone who wasn’t a bad person, he didn’t think. Someone who was sweet, and—and a lot of things he wasn’t letting himself think about anymore, but who had gone. But he hadn't been the right person... He tried instead to focus on the idea that he could keep Elliot, whatever else happened, even though his past experiences made him doubt that. Maybe it meant that, even if Elliot got a boyfriend that wasn’t him, it didn’t have to mean he’d vanish, although Jean was struggling to see it any other way.

“Thank you,” he smiled at the ground, swallowing a lump, when Killian listed all the things he had wanted for him, with happiness right at the top. It was a very different list of priorities than he’d heard growing up, and it still caught him off guard every time someone had those kinds of ideas about him. He sort of hoped he never got to the point where it seemed unremarkable, because it was something so special that he didn’t ever want to take it for granted. “You are proving your own point, I think? About that right people stay?” It felt like it wasn’t enough but it was hard to find the right words sometimes to tell Killian he was great. It wasn’t really a convenient time for a hug either, so Jean settled for affectionately shoulder bumping him as they walked and hoping he got what that meant.

He was a little surprised to hear Killian, his expert counsel on love and life, admit to never having anything like he’d had with Ema before. Jean wasn’t sure what part of it was new, and it didn’t seem polite to pry. Maybe he just meant that every person was special and different.

“She would be correct. Though probably a different kind of special,” he added hastily, worried that he’d made that weird. He hadn’t meant to make it weird.

“And Bonabelle is good also?” he hurried on, even though he knew a fair bit about how she was. Killian wasn’t the only one he got letters from, after all. He let Killian answer, and exchanged replies as was necessary to be polite and caring, though his mind was still turning over one more enquiry he wanted to make of Killian. Thought he wanted to make. Knew he wanted to make, but wasn’t sure how, or what his reaction would be… But it was going to eat away at him if he didn’t. It was one of the many reasons Christmas had sucked last year, and – unlike his loneliness, his heartbreak, and his lack of people to celebrate with – it wasn’t a problem that had resolved with the passing of time.

“Do you know… How is Dorian?” he asked. “I know,” he added hastily, “his life is not my business now. I don’t mean… I don’t expect you to tell me many things. But… But I know he goes back to his family, especially with the holidays.” It had been one of several sources of contention between them. “I suppose you might not really know, if…” If something bad happened. Even when Dorian had been a Sonora student, he had spoken to Mary, and Jean had the feeling that the details of Dorian’s home life had been kept confidential, on a need-to-know basis. Killian only knew about the incident with Mattheu because of Jean’s perspective. But if… If something really, really bad had happened, Mary would have been in pieces, and that would have been something Killian couldn’t have failed to notice. “But you haven’t heard any bad things?” he checked.

13 Jean Wolfe Maybe 1506 0 5