Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! [Malikhi, and Hilda if she wants] on Library

Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

June 29, 2020 6:02 PM

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! [Malikhi, and Hilda if she wants] by Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

Study sessions in the library with Hilda were common. Study sessions in the library with Kai were common. Birthdays were less common, and thus they must be celebrated. Johana Leonie had heard and seen, from the customs of her classmates, that it was not apparently bad luck to wish people happy birthday before the actual day of their birth here. But the German tradition was too deeply ingrained in her to let it go and she didn't want to run the risk, so she hadn't said a word of Malikhi's birthday to him so far and their plan to meet in the library for studying was still in place as far as she knew. Hilda had been invited if she'd like to join as well. It was a bit odd because usually only kids got birthdays thrown for them, and Johana Leonie didn't want Kai to think she thought he was a kid, but it didn't seem like that held true here either and she was more happy to bend that tradition for the sake of a good time. Unfortunately, the library was not a place she was about to bring a cake - because the librarian was not a person she was about to sneak a cake by - so unless Hilda decided to be bold, they were going to have a snackless party before heading out of the library for goodies. People at home would often get flour dumped on them for their sixteenth birthday, but Johana Leonie had decided that Kai probably wouldn't appreciate that, and the librarian definitely wouldn't, so she skipped that one as well. This was going to be low-key and, hopefully, lots of fun.

Johana Leonie arrived to the library before Kai and definitely before Hilda who may or may not be coming, and she'd done some spellwork she was mighty proud of. With torn bits of paper, she'd managed to create an entire village of tiny people. Most of it had been bunching the paper up to look vaguely like what she was going for, but then she'd used the transfiguration spell for small toys and managed to make it work. Then it was just a matter of a few more spells to get them to move and dance and it looked like the world's tiniest surprise party. Which was perfect, because footsteps behind her alerted her to the fact that she'd finished just in time then, and she turned to find the birthday boy approaching.

"Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!" she said in a sing song voice. "Happy birthday!" It was a phrase she'd practiced for this occasion. Then, popping up on her tiptoes to do the other thing she'd been preparing for, Johana Leonie glanced around anxiously to make sure that Hilda was not yet there and closed the gap between Kai and herself. Searching his face for a moment as she passed, she put a hand on his arm to steady herself, reached up, and pressed another soft kiss on his cheek. "Alles Gute zum Geburtstag," she said again, more softly.

They hadn't really talked. Johana Leonie hadn't really been sure what she wanted. She didn't know how to bring it up or if she should or what to think. But that night at the Ball had been perfect and if she could get a little bit more perfect in her life, that would be okay by her.

OOC - German birthday traditions

22 Johana Leonie Zauberhexen Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! [Malikhi, and Hilda if she wants] 1432 1 5

Malikhi Hill

June 30, 2020 11:28 AM

Birthday, yes. Happy? Not really. by Malikhi Hill

If there was one thing birthdays were supposed to be, it was happy. That was the whole point of the phrase 'happy birthday' wasn't it? So, Malikhi felt that something was wrong with him when he woke up on his birthday not feeling the slightest bit like celebrating. If anything, hiding under his duvet was a much more desirable option. Trying to feel joy, excitement or even summon a small smile felt like a gargantuan task so Malikhi had gone downstairs to breakfast with a sullen face, his head down and his hands balled into fists, hidden in the depths of his robe pockets.

Being now sixteen years of age felt like a big deal. He was closer to being an adult than he was to being a child and that felt scary. In the Wizarding World, he knew it was another year before he could practice magic outside of school (hopefully, that would cause him some excitement next year). Being sixteen didn't really feel all that significant. In the muggle world of England, he had all sorts of rights now that all felt very important and adult (there was an important law about consent that Malikhi didn't want to think too hard about. It was difficult enough trying to work out how to ask a girl to be his girlfriend, never mind that particular subject). However, in muggle America, he had learned that there were different rules (finding out that he could learn to drive a muggle car if he wanted had turned his stomach - that was something that he never wanted to do) and what he had learned, basically, was that being sixteen was just very confusing.

It also made him yearn for his Dad. He had a lot of questions but a lot of them were of a significantly personal nature and while he was close to his Mum, he didn't want to subject himself or her to an embarrassing and awkward conversation. His father would've understood and would've helped. He was supposed to have been the guiding hand on Malikhi's journey to adulthood. Unfortunately, there was no hand to guide him and Malikhi felt lost and adrift in a big, scary world with many questions and few answers.

So, he tried to forget that was his birthday and went about his school day and lessons as normal. This was made easy by the fact that few people knew when Malikhi's birthday actually was so he could pretend that it was another normal day. It seemed that even Johana-Leonie had forgotten even though he was pretty sure he'd told her some time ago but that was okay. He was pretending it wasn't his birthday and if she'd forgotten, that made things easier.

As he was pretending that it was a normal day, Malikhi kept to his routine of heading to the library a couple of hours before dinner to meet up with Hana to study. He forced his mind to focus on the Transfiguration homework that he was having difficulty with, making sure to ask Hana about certain things that he didn't understand. She always seemed to make things a lot less complicated than they seemed in class. He preferred learning from Hana than he did from Professor Skies.

His plan was torn to pieces when, upon arrival into the library, Hana greeted him with that common birthday phrase and a smile. He tried not to pull a face because a part of him felt warm that she hadn't actually forgotten and he could certainly manage a smile when she kissed him on the cheek. She hadn't done that since the Ball but it didn't matter that this time, they weren't in fancy clothes. It still had the same effect. He wanted her to do it again. He wanted to be greeted every time like that. But just how did one approach such a subject? It wasn't like he could just bring it up in the middle of a conversation, could he?

"Thank you," he murmured, feeling a little lighter and brighter in Hana's company. His attention turned to her paper creation and he looked at it all in awe. She was so clever and talented and her little paper village was so cute. Malikhi liked it very much. It wasn't expensive or extravagant. It was nice and simple and Malikhi was grateful for the simplicity in what was feeling like a very complicated day.

"Thank you," he said again, slowly taking a seat. The little dancing people were captivating but he turned his eyes to Hana who, he privately thought, was a much prettier sight. "What would you like to do?"

20 Malikhi Hill Birthday, yes. Happy? Not really. 1423 0 5

Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

June 30, 2020 11:52 AM

I am doing glad that you were born. by Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

Kai seemed not too happy and then a little happier and Johana Leonie sort of regretted that she had worked up the nerve to kiss his cheek without properly making sure he was up for it first. Communicating was hard enough about normal topics but this was even more stressful for her and she had just gone for it. It wasn't very nice of her. He thanked her for it which either meant he did like it or he was just polite. She thought he was polite but probably not so polite as to thank her for something he hated, so there was that.

She took a step back to let him look at what she'd made and she couldn't help grinning when she saw that he was excited about it. He looked amazed and Johana Leonie suddenly felt very special. They took a seat and all the little paper people clapped and applauded before marching off to a pile and collapsing for easy clean up.

"I am glad you are liking," she grinned. It was an expression tinged with . . . maybe not hesitancy. Maybe shyness? She wished she could read his mind then. His question threw her off though.

Sitting on the side of the table near Kai so they could see each other without sitting directly across from him, Johana Leonie pondered. What did she want to do? Was that a thing she was supposed to have an answer to as part of birthday celebrations? Or was that related to kissing his cheek? His tone didn't sound like that's what he was getting at. Maybe it was to see whether she wanted to just do a normal study session? She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to do, but she sort of wanted to do something. At home, when she and Friederike Albert were little, they would get a birthday cake and eat as much as they wanted and then they would run around outside, covered in cake and dirt when it was finally time for bed. She wasn't sure she wanted to do that with Kai, though.

"You are having birthday," she pointed out, aiming for somewhere between the German tradition and what seemed to be the American one of the birthday boy/girl deciding what to do. It was, after all, Kai's day. "We are doing what you want." She blushed a little, wondering if he wanted any of the same things that she wanted. There were things that adults did that she wasn't so sure she wanted to do, but she thought there were some things, like kissing his cheek, that she did want to do.

"Uh . . . you tell me what you not like?" Johana Leonie confirmed, face pulling with nerves. Her blush deepened. "I giving you kiss is okay?"

22 Johana Leonie Zauberhexen I am doing glad that you were born. 1432 0 5

Malikhi Hill

June 30, 2020 12:49 PM

I always want to make you glad. by Malikhi Hill

Malikhi felt a little silly for asking Hana what she wanted to do even though it was his birthday and it seemed to be an age old rule that it was the birthday person’s choice on what to do. Still, he had hoped that she would make a decision because he wanted it to be a normal day where they both had a say in what happened. Why did he get the right to decide everything just because he was born on this day sixteen years ago? Malikhi couldn’t be that selfish. He had been as a much younger boy but these days, what other people wanted to do and what other people thought mattered to him.

“I’d be happy to just spend my time with you,” he said honestly. Regardless of whether it was his birthday or not, that’s what he would always want to do if he had to decide. He looked at her pile of paper people and gently picked the one at the top of the pile up, gently turning it over in his hands. From the rough outline, he figured that it was a girl and a smile touched his lips. Her creation really was lovely. He held it up for her to see before slipping it into his pocket. “I’m going to keep one. As a memory.”

When he turned his attention completely back to Hana to focus on a conversation, he was surprised by her questions as well as rather confused. He assumed that it was the language barrier that was causing problems because he wasn’t entirely sure what she was asking. She was talking about giving him kisses and whether it was okay? Malikhi wasn’t entirely sure what sort of kisses she meant. She had only given him kisses on the cheek and they were lovely and made him feel warm and light inside. He would very happily accept more of them. He knew, however, that there were other kisses that existed. When his father had still been alive, Malikhi had seen him and his mother exchange many kisses on the lips. From simple pecks when his Dad came home from work to the longer ones that they shared under the Christmas mistletoe. Either way, any kiss had seemed to make his mother happy. Malikhi wanted some of that feeling. He found that he didn’t mind if Hana wanted to kiss his cheek or his lips.

A blush coloured his cheeks as he reached out a hand, palm facing up as a silent offer for her to take it if she wanted. A shy smile played on his lips as he said, “You giving me kisses is more than okay... it’s amazing.”

20 Malikhi Hill I always want to make you glad. 1423 0 5

Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

June 30, 2020 1:15 PM

Always. That means "ever since" and "forever" right? by Johana Leonie Zauberhexen

CW - Enforced gender roles and internalised misogyny

Johana Leonie beamed happily when Malikhi said he wanted to spend his time with her for his birthday. She had the sudden urge to stick a bow to her forehead and call herself a present, just to make him laugh. He kept one of the paper figures she made and her beam brightened into pride. "You make me warm," she smiled, not sure the English word for 'elated' or any other such thing that might have been clearer. 'Warm' would have to do.

When he offered his hand and said kisses were amazing, Johana Leonie realised her possible double meaning. When she'd asked about kiss on the cheek she had forgotten those extra words. Context had made it clear, but now she was hearing it back and realising that context did not necessarily make it clear, because she wasn't sure what Kai meant precisely. But he was offering his hand.

Over the summer, particularly surrounding the topic of Kai's visit, Johana Leonie had spent time talking with her parents about dating and boys and how to behave appropriately and what was okay and what wasn't, and she wasn't sure what to make of this. This, she was pretty sure, would count as a thing that girls did with boys when they liked them, not just a friend thing. But maybe it was different here? Not that Kai was American, but 'when in Rome' as they say. Now she had to decide whether to take his hand. What did it mean if she did? She was shaking hands - almost literally - on a contract she hadn't read yet. Coming from a village where handshakes were practically currency, this was a big deal to her. But she did have an idea, didn't she? She knew what she wanted, if at least for the fact that she had decided to want it.

She was going to be a lady. She was going to be a healer. She was going to be a woman with a husband and many children and she was going to be all those things because that's what women should do. And men should find wives and have lots of children and be the head of the household and that's just what men were supposed to do. Even if some men didn't want to. Even if some men thought dresses were better. No, not men. Boys. But Johana Leonie didn't want to be a girl, she wanted to be a woman, and if she was going to grow up and get married and have lots of children, and she wanted to get on that as soon as she could since her other option was to go home and marry someone from her village, then she was going to have to make a decision. Hopefully that would also serve to make Freddie understand how important it was that he behave that much better, too.

That meant that whatever else Johana Leonie was worried about or whether or not she was ready, she was going to jump. It made her stomach hurt to think about, because she wasn't really sure whether or not she was ready to be a grown up woman yet, but she never would be if she didn't just go do it.

Taking a breath and finding that she could smile while she did it, that whatever her fears and anxieties, she really did want to take Kai's hand, she threaded her fingers between his and wrapped them around his hand.

"I think that having kisses is amazing, too," she said shyly. "I do not mind having any of them either," she added, trying to figure out how to make the words come out as an invitation without being improper.

22 Johana Leonie Zauberhexen Always. That means "ever since" and "forever" right? 1432 0 5

Malikhi Hill

June 30, 2020 2:40 PM

If you want it to be. by Malikhi Hill

Malikhi was quiet for a moment, his eyes focused on their now interlocked hands. He liked how hers fitted easily with his and he could feel how warm her hand was and it was comforting. He wanted to hold her hand a lot more often, just like he wanted more of her kisses more often. He had woken up on his sixteenth birthday miserable and wanting to hide. Now, he had been given a wonderful gift in the form of Hana’s kiss and her hand holding his.

There were a couple of things niggling at him, though. For starters, he wasn’t sure what this made them. They were friends, that’s for sure but surely kisses and hand holding made them more than just simple friends? But he hadn’t asked her to be his girlfriend yet so could he really put that label on Hana? He supposed that he could just ask her now but to just do so randomly felt like it cheapened it. He wanted to make it a special moment, one that they would both remember and treasure.

Secondly, he still hadn’t been completely honest with her about himself and his problems. He hadn’t even confessed that he no longer had a Dad. How could he explain that he had all these dark and twisty feelings inside of him? It wasn’t like it just disappeared. The negativity was just dampened or silenced when he had a good day. He could be snippy, rude and unkind. There was his anger that was always on a permanent simmer, sometimes easy to control, sometimes unstoppable. He always tried to show a positive face in front of Hana. Becoming close to her in the way that he wanted them to be close would mean that she could and probably would end up seeing the uglier sides of himself.

It was something he needed to think about and consider before moving any further forward. For now, he’d rather focus on her pretty hand in his own and how she said she would accept kisses. With that in mind, he lifted her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. He’d have given her one on the cheek but navigating around the table felt awkward.

“I really like you, Hana,” he confessed. Now might not be the right time to ask her to be his girlfriend but he could at least hint at where he wanted this to go. He smiled at her, eyes sparkling and he squeezed her hand gently.

20 Malikhi Hill If you want it to be. 1423 0 5