Row, row, row your boat... (tag Killian Row) on Elective Hall

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 22, 2020 5:39 PM

Row, row, row your boat... (tag Killian Row) by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

These days, Tabitha felt like she had too much to do and not enough time to do it in. It often felt like everything was being done in a rush. She had too much to think about and her head just felt so full and so cluttered. There never seemed to be a moment anymore to just stop and take a moment to breathe. She woke up in a morning with just enough time to dash down to Cascade Hall to have breakfast which was usually just a cup of tea. From there, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, she was teaching for most of the day and when she wasn’t teaching, she was in her office, making more lesson plans, coming up with new homework assignments or leafing through her journals and textbooks, researching. Tuesdays and Thursdays were dedicated to her personal life, having awkward interactions with Zeus and the daughter of the Xaviers, Dora. Those days were particularly exhausting, with too much child interaction. She was consistently late to lunch and dinner and just about managed to squeeze enough time to have quick showers.

Her life was so full and as a result, she often forgot to do things. They were never usually important and always fixable but they still got forgotten. So, in amongst everything else in her life, some time had to be found to remember the forgotten things. At the moment, one of those forgotten things was currently being delivered to the office belonging to one Killian Row.

If she was honest, it was a little bit of a convenient forgotten thing. When she had been going over her register for the new first years, a name had stood out to her and had since been niggling at her for several days. Bonabelle Row. The last name was familiar and she supposed it was because it was the same as the guidance counsellor and Tabitha was curious if there was a family connection. Finding the folder that contained details on new Defence internships was just a decent excuse to go and ask the man.

She had never really spoken to Mr. Row. They had had brief small talk during staff meetings and nods of acknowledgement when passing in the halls but she had never sat down and spoken to him. She has just about enough time to change that.

So, that was how Tabitha found herself standing in front of the guidance counsellor’s office door with a conveniently forgotten folder and a question. She took a deep breath and knocked, waiting for the man to answer.

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Row, row, row your boat... (tag Killian Row) 1417 1 5

Killian Row

May 22, 2020 8:53 PM

Gently down memory lane. by Killian Row

The term had kicked off with a bang and Killian had taken it as a sign to dive into his work with even more gusto than usual. Between Jean-Loup's arrival for his internship, Ellie's accidental magic, Bonny's appearance, and his budding friendship with Marsh and Gray, Killian was feeling the highs and feeling the lows, and feeling every shade of grey area (which was a weird phrase when one's friend's name was Gray... he wondered what Gray the professor would think of Killian exploring grey areas . . . it was sort of a fun thing to think about really) therein. It was helpful that his own position on campus seemed to have grown more solidified over time, and professors on campus were working much more cohesively with him to provide student services, seek professional opportunities, and more. He'd even managed to get an outline of job responsibilities for some of the assistantship positions on campus, which Killian could use for building resumes with students; these were the literal words of experts in these fields and knowing what some of the responsibilities were was a tremendous help.

His office represented the full extent of both Killian's method and his madness. Papers were in stacks or piles or folders or drawers, pamphlets were on desks or bulletin boards or letterboxes, and food was everywhere. Killian was generally a fairly clean person - messy but not dirty - but he'd given in to some of his stress eating tendencies recently and the abandoned tea cups and bread crumbs around his office were proof of that. These were the first to go when a knock sounded at the door. Killian was on his knees on the floor, comparing two copies of a student resume and marking the drafts with flourish of green ink, and he moved quickly before answering. Dropping the quill and ignoring the splatter of ink that dotted his neck and chin as he did so, he reached for his wand and looked around the room. With a few choice charms, Killian tidied his office as best he could in the time it took him to stand up and brush himself off before calling back to let the person know it was fine to enter. When he did so, he found the Defense professor standing there, looking at him standing next to his desk chair like a weirdo. Well, nothing to be done for that now. Plus she wasn't wrong.

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne - DADA professor, Gryffindor, Quidditch Captain, mother?, wife, terrifying force of magical ability and emotional steadfastness.

He distinctly remembered the games Lorcan and Tabitha had played together when they were on the Quidditch team at the same time for a few years, but he'd never gotten to know her well. For one, Lorcan made sure to keep his little brother far away from the sorts of parties that Killian would later regret not being more aware of, and for two, Killian was in Hufflepuff. He couldn't access any Gryffindor parties had he wanted to. Tabitha, even younger than he was, had been able to do what he was not, and he doubted she remembered him. She'd been the Quidditch captain at one point and he'd been the weird kid who knocked himself out on a goal post at one point. He did sometimes wonder whether she recognised him, though, or if she would recognise his brother in Bonny's face. The two didn't look much alike, particularly considering Bonny's mixed heritage, but there wee elements that were reminiscent of the older Row brother. Killian was very grateful that Lorcan and "Tabs" - a name he would never call her now because he had the will to live - had been far enough apart that they had almost definitely never made out. Of course, the current status quo seemed to suggest that Tabitha wouldn't have wanted to make out with Lorcan anyway. That wouldn't have meant Lorcan didn't want to make out with her, of course - the man would be perfectly happy too . . . uh . . . engage with any walking talking woman; the less she talked, the better. So maybe not Tabitha then. Of course, Killian knew he couldn't possibly be the only person in the world for whom one narrow scope of gender did not comprise the dating pool, but he tried not to assume. In any case, Lorcan and Tabitha's relationship dynamics were not Killian's business then and certainly not now. Tabitha might not even have known about Lorcan's unseemly nosedive post-graduation and he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up, especially if she didn't remember him anyway.

"Hello, Professor," Killian smiled, putting aside the image of a pubescent teenage girl with the same fierce eyes and greeting the grown woman in front of him. He wasn't totally sure whether Selina or Tabitha would be the most capable of hurting him badly should they ever duel, but he was quite happy that his job did not put him in the line of fire with either of them. They were terrifying women for very different reasons and for very similar reasons and that wasn't a thing Killian was about to point out. He would take it as a high compliment if someone said he had anything in common with either of the two, or indeed with most of his colleagues, but he had found that most people, particularly women, did not appreciate being told they terrified him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

22 Killian Row Gently down memory lane. 1450 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 23, 2020 2:15 AM

This lane is quite interesting. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

It wasn't often that Tabitha visited the offices of her other colleagues. She had seen Selina's several times, when she'd been summoned by the Deputy Headmistress but found that she couldn't really recall it now. That either meant that it was unremarkable or that Tabitha was far too anxiously focused on Selina when those meetings happened to really take in her surroundings at that point. She had seen Mary's office the most outside of her own, naturally, as the woman was her wife and Tabitha had liked to visit her wife in her office in the past and admittedly do some things with the door locked and that, at this moment, made her smirk a little. So, Killian Row's office was new and interesting and Tabitha took it all in for a moment, slightly amused by the chaos. It was reassuring that she was not the only one whose work seemed to take over her office, though, this all seemed a touch more organised than her own. She frowned a little for a moment, inhaling and finding that she could smell bread. Given that they were nowhere near the kitchens, that was a little odd... but it was nice, nonetheless.

She stepped further into his office, shutting the door behind her before turning to him and returning his smile. "Please, call me Tabitha. 'Professor' is just so... old."

She was still uncomfortable about the fact she was aging and decided to move on from that before she fell back down that pit of despair. There was too much in her life now to lose herself again. So, she extended her arm, holding out the folder she'd brought.

"I was supposed to give you this sooner but..." she pursed her lips thoughtfully, trying to come up with a better word that 'forgot' or 'lost'. Maybe it was better to just move on and explain what it was. "Never mind. It's details on new internships, specifically for students who are interested in pursuing a career in Defence. Things like working for MACUSA in the Auror department or the Curse Breaking departments of various banks."

She looked at Killian again, squinting a little. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but something struck her as familiar, in his smile and his eyes. She didn't really know why and it was odd but something niggled at her, right at the edge of her memory. Annoyingly, she seemed unable to grasp it at this moment and moved on to her other niggle that had summoned her here.

Tabitha didn't like to beat around the bush when it came to her curiosities and this next question was a simple one, that only really required a 'yes' or 'no' answer for her to be satisfied. She might've bothered with more small talk if her mind wasn't so crowded. Tabitha wasn't the best at socialising in the first place. When she was busy and harrassed, she skipped or forgot all the normal social niceties and could come off as quite abrupt or rude. "I also had a question. I saw on my register that there's a 'Bonabelle Row' joining us in her first years. Is she any relation to you?"

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne This lane is quite interesting. 1417 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne 0 5

Killian Row

May 23, 2020 2:39 AM

It can be, for sure. by Killian Row

It took a lot for Killian not to snatch the folder out of Tabitha's hand in excitement, but he managed to be more polite than that. Still, he grinned like it was Christmas morning when she explained it and he took a moment to flip through it as she did so. He wanted to look at all of it and his mind was racing with student names and folders he should apply this new information to, but Tabitha had a question, so he looked up, reluctantly putting the folder on his desk where he wouldn't focus too heavily on it right now.

Her question surprised Killian. There was also a Quincy Wright on the registry, though, and he'd immediately asked Gray whether the youngster was any relation of his, so it wasn't so much a weird question as the fact that he just . . . didn't really know Tabitha. Still, it was no secret that the Defense professor was direct, so he didn't mind. He nodded, realising at the same time that he was thirsty and had banished all of his teacups out of the room. He waved his wand at a kettle nearby, looking forward to a hot cup of tea. Considering his present company, he suspected he wasn't the only one, and he pointedly summoned two cups as well.

"Bonny's my niece," he explained as he poured himself a cup of tea and gestured for her to do the same. "My brother, Lorcan's, daughter." It was a weird topic but not an altogether bad one. Still, he had the same issue now that he had had with Gray, wherein he didn't want to set Bonny up for a legacy she didn't realise she had. "You two played Quidditch together," he added, sipping on his cup for something to do. Merlin's saggy socks was it hot. He blinked and lowered the cup, one eye wrinkling up in discomfort until he remembered to play it straighter. Heh. But not like . . . too straight. "He's two years older than me."

22 Killian Row It can be, for sure. 1450 Killian Row 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 23, 2020 8:48 AM

Memory lane gets longer the more time that passes. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

For a moment, Tabitha couldn’t really process the rest of what Killian was saying after he confirmed that Miss Bonabelle Row was his niece. She suddenly felt a lot calmer and the thoughts inside her brain didn’t feel like they were fluttering as much. It was like a itch that had finally been scratched and now, all that she could feel, was very, very tired and she sank heavily into the free chair in front of Killian’s desk. It was probably stupid, how much the name of one student had bothered her so much and really, she had many more important things to focus on.

Then, behind a faraway door in the back of her mind, a light went on. It was a door she didn’t open very often any more, less and less since Rory had left. Lorcan Row was a name that she hadn’t heard in a very long time. She found now that she could barely even recall his face. She only just associated the name with his position of Beater. If she had been asked, she wouldn’t have considered them friends. They had barely been civil team mates. She hadn’t liked Lorcan. Even though she couldn’t recall his face in detail, she still felt a surge of intense frustration and annoyance at the mention of his name and remembered several colourful names that she had called him. Many, many times over the couple of years they’d been on the same Quidditch team.

“I remember your brother,” she said softly, helping herself to a cup of tea. Tea would help. Tea helped everything, kept her grounded and stable. She adjusted herself in her chair and cleared her throat, trying to appear a bit like the professional woman she could be. “I didn’t like him very much.”

She took a sip of her tea and sighed happily. Her happy place definitely included endless cups of tea. She laughed a little. “I really didn’t like him.”

She looked at Killian again, the familiarity she felt from seeing his eyes and the lines of his mouth now making sense because she could just about recall that Lorcan shared the same features. The same features that had often made Tabitha want to punch the older brother in the face on a regular basis. On Killian, they just looked nice and friendly and that was nice. It would’ve been really awkward, wanting to punch the guidance counsellor.

Realising that it was probably rude to making such a declaration about somebody’s brother, she decided to at least ask about him. She might’ve not liked the boy - well, man now, she supposed - but she didn’t want to see him hurt... much.

“How is Lorcan?”

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Memory lane gets longer the more time that passes. 1417 0 5

Killian Row

May 23, 2020 11:20 AM

And narrower somehow. by Killian Row

Killian blinked, surprised by Tabitha's bluntness, and then grinned and burst out laughing. "I didn't really like him either," he admitted.

Killian and Lorcan had gotten on well enough at home, when it was the two of them against the world, but when they'd been at Hogwarts, it was Lorcan against everything. He was by far one of the most bullheaded folks Killian had ever met, and he worked with teenagers for a living. It didn't help that his last priority was the academics part of school and he only maintained a high enough GPA to stay on the Quidditch team, nothing more. Killian wouldn't have been that surprised if he'd cheated to do that much. Killian himself was no Ravenclaw, but academics were important to him, and seeing people succeed was even more important to him. Knowing his brother was doing no such thing was hard enough when they were both in school, but when Lorcan had graduated and "gotten sick," there wasn't much Killian could feel beyond his numbness, except disappointment and betrayal. And, as it had turned out and as he'd told Ellie, accidental magic.

"Lorcan is better," he smiled, meaning in it in all sorts of ways. "Not a lot less pigheaded, but definitely more responsible." He doubted his brother was really responsible, but more responsible than he'd been in school was a low bar and he had at least cleared that much. He wondered whether it would be rude to ask Bonny how many of her dad's friends were ladies and how many stayed the night. Not really a conversation he wanted to get into, and maybe not a question he wanted the answer to. "Still, Bonny doesn't take much after him as far as I can tell," he added, hopefully reassuring the Defense professor of Bonny's merit before her family name did her in. "How's life been since graduation?" he asked, smiling. "You were . . . two years after me? Four years after Lorcan? Funny that we should both end up here."

22 Killian Row And narrower somehow. 1450 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 23, 2020 1:03 PM

Also true. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Despite all the problems that Tabitha had had with Lorcan in the past, he had still been her teammate and it was nice to hear that he was doing well. Or ‘better’ as Killian had said. It was also reassuring that Bonabelle didn’t take much after her father because she was sure that Lorcan had been as much of a pain for their teachers to deal with as she as a student had found him and with everything else going on in her life, she did not want to have to teach a Lorcan.

She smiled at the sheer coincidence that two Hogwarts students were now teachers in the same American school. “In all my years of travelling, I have found that the world is really rather small. Before Professor Marsh joined us to teach the magical creatures class, the Professor before him was Rory Taransay who, you may remember, was Keeper on the Gryffindor team. I am getting slightly suspicious that the longer I stay here, all the teaching posts will be end up being held by my ex-teammates,” she glanced at Killian. “Or their siblings.”

She laughed a little at her own joke. It was quite funny how the past kept interfering with her present in its own unexpected ways. Mary’s too, for that matter. It was because of Mary’s history that they were both now the legal guardians of a child that, biologically, wasn’t their own. All because of a relationship Mary had once had with Michelle. The world worked in the strangest of ways, sometimes.

“Life has been...” she paused, trying to find the right word. “An adventure,” she continued, smiling a little before it faded again, unable to help but consider the state of her life at the moment. She was a teacher whose office was in a permanent state of chaos and already behind on her work, a marriage that was still suffering from the effects of her behaviour last year and probably suffering from Tabitha’s reluctance and apparent inability to bond with their new charge. Her life might be an adventure but it was sure in a big mess at the moment.

“I’ve travelled a lot,” she began because Killian probably wanted a bit more of an answer than some vague platitude. “I’ve been all over the world. In school, I developed a big interest in magical creatures and I wanted to travel and find them and document them. I also wanted to improve and hone my defensive knowledge and skills which is part of why I’m the Defence teacher.”

The problem with answering questions about the past, you couldn’t always avoid bringing certain things up. Though she was loathe to think about him, even breathe his name, it was only because of his actions that she was here at Sonora at all. It was almost sick, in a way. If it hadn’t been for John-Joseph leaving her, Tabitha might never have come to Sonora. She wouldn’t have met Mary and they wouldn’t have started a relationship and eventually, a marriage. The same could be applied to Michelle, too. If she and Mary hadn’t split, it seemed unlikely they would’ve met. Tabitha hated both of them but it was also partly thanks to their actions in the past that she had the life she did.

“I was travelling with John-Joseph Anderson, I don’t know if you remember him. We split up when we came to America... I was looking for a Wampus Cat. He provided the funding for this whole... worldwide tour I’d planned. We’d been away from home for months, bounced from country to country and he left me because he was tired of it. I was stranded in America and needed finances and that’s when I found Sonora...”

Tabitha felt like she was rambling. She hadn’t meant to quite say so much but it had been a long time since she’d talked to somebody other than Mary about her life and everything seemed to be coming out and she was unable to stop it. A blush coloured her cheeks as she took another sip of tea to try and stop spewing words out. After swallowing, she took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure.

“I’ve been here ever since. I met my wife here, Mary...” she trailed off, a soft smile touching her lips. “And we’ve recently adopted.”

She wasn’t going to delve into that. That would definitely be a step too far. So, she finished there, not wanting to say any more and wanting to get the topic of conversation off her. “What about you?”

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Also true. 1417 0 5

Killian Row

May 23, 2020 3:45 PM

Sounds like you've traveled a lot, though. by Killian Row

Killian really really needed to go back to school for psychology. He nodded, agreeing that the world was small. His family spanned the UK before he and Bonny came to the United States and now his friends and colleagues were from abroad as well. The wizarding world, in particular, felt much smaller than it seemed like it should. He widened his eyes in mock horror when Tabitha said teammates would begin taking up all the positions. "Touch wood," he demanded. "I don't want Lorcan to work here."

He listened quietly as Tabitha talked more than he'd ever heard her talk before. Silence was his favorite tool of the trade and it was highly effective in eliciting whatever people needed to say. He nodded along, but only a little; he didn't want his reactions to deter her. Also, he remembered John-Joseph Anderson quite well, as his reactions to the two of them dating almost definitely would deter her from continuing. He was surprised that the two of them had ended up together for any amount of time, although, if he remembered correctly, both were from relatively high class pureblood families. Perhaps it made sense. And perhaps it made even more sense that it hadn't worked out.

"JJ was an asshole," he said bluntly, ducking his head when he let a swear word slip. He tried not to do that but it did seem the most appropriate choice of words. "Mary is much nicer, and you're way way out of that jerk's league. I'm glad you're at Sonora and with Mary. You two seem happy together." That was true, even if the couple's relationship seemed to have waxed and waned since Killian had arrived at Sonora. He was surprised that they'd adopted and even more so since Tabitha did not look exactly happy about it. "Congratulations," he said softly. "And my condolences. It's hard to lose sleep so suddenly," he smirked playfully, aware that kids were noisy if nothing else.

He didn't particularly want to talk about his post-Hogwarts life, but he'd started it, so he had to answer now. "I traveled, too," he said, his eyes frosting over as he thought back on it. "Lorcan was in a bit of a rough spot, though, so I went back home and helped out there. I was especially interested in Muggle Studies in school, so most of my traveling was in Muggle cities and when Lorcan was dealing with his stuff, I realised it might have gone better for him if someone had been there sooner, so I decided I wanted to work with kids. so here I am." He smiled. "Accidents both of us then," he laughed.

22 Killian Row Sounds like you've traveled a lot, though. 1450 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 24, 2020 12:55 PM

Yeah, having to slow down now though... rather against my will. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

It was nice to hear that somebody else that JJ was not a nice person. She knew he wasn't and knew that if she'd shared her story with everyone, the majority would think they say but they hadn't known him. Killian had at least been to the same school as both of them and had made that assessment... It felt a little more valid coming from him than it would coming from somebody else. She knew Mary probably didn't hold him in high regard but even she hadn't met him, only seeing what Tabitha had been willing to share. Hopefully, her past would stop butting in quite so much now. The last thing she needed in her life was her ex-boyfriend showing up. Tabitha was convinced that that might just finish her off.

"She's wonderful," Tabitha murmured, smiling softly as they talked about her wife. Guilt did twist her stomach a little, knowing that she hadn't been the best partner for Mary recently. She'd been very neglectful of the woman she loved which just wasn't right and, when she managed to find a spare moment of time, she would have to do something to make it up to her and remind her wife that, despite everything awful in their lives at the moment, Tabitha still loved her. "I don't know what I would do without her."

She felt that she didn't deserve the congratulatory sentiment that Killian offered when she mentioned adoption. Surely, those sorts of feelings were for people who were actually happy with their new charge, something that Tabitha was not. The beast now residing in her quarters had unintentionally exposed her to all these new flaws in Tabitha that she had clearly not been ready to face. Not being very maternal was just the tip of the iceberg. She could speak to Ailuros more easily than she could with the child. She didn't even really know how to hold him properly and on the brief and infrequent occasions that she did end up holding him, he felt unnatural in her arms. The whole thing just felt wrong.

And yet, there had been one single moment where Tabitha had managed to get it right. It had still felt awkward and unnatural but it had been her first unsupervised interaction with the boy that had gone relatively well. Nothing had happened since but she found it a little easier to look at him now and was a bit more gentle in her attitude towards him. Maternal still didn't come easily or really come to her at all but she had found a starting point and that was an improvement.

"Thank you," she said, smiling a little at his joke. It was true. The lack of sleep was hard but then, Tabitha had been functioning on little sleep for a while so she was perhaps a little more used to it than one might be normally. "The circumstances surrounding his adoption were difficult but... I think he's in the right place. I, at least, hope he is."

She might not be the perfect adopter but at least he'd never be safer, thanks to her extensive knowledge of wards, protective spells and should the need arise (hopefully never) offensive ones too.

Tabitha didn't know what had happened to Lorcan that would require his brother to return home and she thought it better not to ask. Still, it said a lot about Killian himself that he had gone to his brother's aid. It was an indication of a kind and selfless person, an indication of a good person and Tabitha thought he was a good fit as the school's guidance counsellor. Sometimes, kids could lose their way (as could adults, she felt a little lost at times) and it was nice to know that they had a good person they could go to. "I'm glad Lorcan's better," she said instead of pressing him before taking another drink of her tea.

She laughed at his joke. "I've always said that I'm the accidental professor. It was never my intention to go into teaching and yet, here I am... accidentally."

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Yeah, having to slow down now though... rather against my will. 1417 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne 0 5

Killian Row

May 26, 2020 12:08 PM

It sounds like you wanted to be in the slow lane, you just didn't want to go slow. by Killian Row

Killian waited a moment to see whether Tabitha would like to expand on a difficult adoption, nodding sympathetically. Since she did not, he was not going to pry. Tabitha was not a student for him to help through a traumatic life event (although he wasn't really supposed to be helping students through traumatic life events either) and he didn't think it was appropriate to push her to talk about things she did not choose to on her own. Besides, Tabitha didn't press about Lorcan, so the least he could do was pay back the same courtesy. Family stuff.

He smirked at the idea of an accidental professor. "I'm not a professor," he began, "but I'm an accidental whatever I am. Staff member, I guess? I do sometimes wonder what I would teach if I had the credentials to teach anything. Technically, I supposes I teach career and life skills? But that's not an academic subject and I don't have to worry about grading anything, so it's not the same thing." He smiled warmly, hoping to make it clear that he didn't at all feel less-than for not being a professor. "I feel very fortunate to be in a place of work where all of my colleagues are madly more qualified than me in areas I couldn't begin to understand. It's not many employers that have staffs full of specialists in their fields. Accident or not, I'm glad you're one of them," he grinned.

22 Killian Row It sounds like you wanted to be in the slow lane, you just didn't want to go slow. 1450 0 5