Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
May 09, 2020 1:32 PM
Proving a Point [Brooding-Hawthorne quarters, tag Tabitha] by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
Children, as it turned out, were easier to take care of when they were asleep. Not when they woke up screaming, or when they poked you out of your sleep because they wanted more water, and not when they wet the bed - which was a normal enough thing for a four-year-old to do after experiencing trauma and was admittedly easy enough to clean up with a few quick charms - but when they were asleep, it wasn't so hard. Also, they slept pretty early, especially if they'd been up early that morning. Which was exactly what Mary made sure had happened to make sure that Zeus could stay in his room under the watchful eye of a few happy-to-help prairie elves while Mary and Tabitha attended the Opening Feast.It was odd to be back and to not really be back. She and Tabitha were, in many ways, in a better place than they'd been in a long time. They were loving each other much better. It was just everything else that had thrown a wrench into their lives and frankly, Mary was sick of it. So it was no surprise that she left earlier than she might normally have, even before desserts were served. She wasn't sure she could make it back to her quarters with Tabitha before she started crying and didn't want there to be a thousand and one students milling about at the time. Also, she was afraid to see Dorian. He was so grown up and so strong and brave and beautiful. And he was head boy! That was the highlight of Mary's night and it made her whole heart swell with pride. She grinned the brightest and clapped the hardest for Dorian.
Now, she was alone on the couch in hers and Tabitha's living room, and she was staring unseeingly at the wall, where a moving picture of Tabitha and Mary from their wedding was hanging. Those versions of Mary and Tabitha were happy and laughing like nothing was wrong in the world. At the time, that had almost been true. But now?
She started when Tabitha entered the room and when she forced her eyes to move, to see, she found that they were damp. She hadn't noticed that she'd been crying. Perhaps she'd been a little bit asleep.
The prairie elves had long gone and Mary was loathe to wake Zeus up, so she spoke quietly, her voice shaking. "This isn't fair," she whimpered. "None of this is fair. This is not what we wanted. This is not what we needed. I just want you. I want my wife. I don't want any of this." Her voice raised in anger and desperation and resentment. She gestured around the room and had to resist the urge to throw the nearest of Zeus' toys. "It's not his fault," she admitted speaking a little softer. She'd almost worked up to a shout, albeit an inside-voices shout. "It's Michelle's and if she were here, I think I might kill her myself." It was a horrible thing to say. She probably didn't mean it.
She buried her face in her hands for a moment and then looked up again, an idea coming to mind. "Let me in your office," she told Tabitha, pushing herself to her feet and crossing the room to the doors that led out of their small home. One was to Tabitha's office, one was to Mary's, and Mary stood in front of the former until Tabitha unlocked it for her. "I need you to see something," she added by way of explanation. Zeus, she thought, would be fine for the few minutes that they were in what was essentially just another room.
Once inside, Mary looked around for what she knew would be here because Tabitha wouldn't leave it anywhere else. She knew Tabitha was going to react because Tabitha couldn't not react, so she pointed at a chair at her desk, silently instructing her wife to take the seat opposite where she normally sat. Then she turned to a very heavy, very locked chest and pulled out her wand, taking a ready stance.
"Alohomora!" she shouted, a little more sharply than she probably needed to as the locks immediately snapped open and cluttered to the floor. She waved her wand again, opening the chest. Her heart hammered because she knew what was going to happen. She knew exactly what was going to happen. So she put her wand down.
Sensing Mary, the boggart stepped out as it always did - in the shape of Parker. He was not looking good, which made sense since he'd been drowned by merfolk and this version of him was still the nine-year-old boy he'd been at the time. This was always Mary's boggart, and Tabitha had seen that before. But as Parker crossed the room, he blinked, seemingly confused, and the Boggart shifted suddenly into Tabitha herself.
"This isn't worth it," the boggart said bitterly. "You're not worth it." Then it looked sad instead of angry. "I can't do this," she whispered. As the boggart-Tabitha buried her own face in her hands, she changed again.
Michelle stepped forward, her blonde hair with all the same lovely ringlets that Zeus had inherited, and the same green eyes. She was soft and lovely, as always, although Mary sort of wanted to punch her in the face at the moment. "It's been a long time," the boggart-Michelle said. "I want you to take care of my son." Then, finally, the boggart shifted one last time, back into the shape of a little boy who had clearly died a while ago. Except now, that little boy was only about four, and had blonde curls and green eyes and a desperately sad look on his face. "I thought you'd take care of me," he said, his voice far too adult to really belong to Zeus.
Mary trembled and banished the boggart back to the chest with a spell. She wasn't trying to get rid of it forever, so she avoided anything that would make her laugh. Tabitha probably wouldn't appreciate it if Mary completely banished the boggart that would undoubtedly be used later this term.
She turned to her wife, panting and gritting her teeth to hold back tears. "I am afraid of so many things right now, and some of them are really happening. I didn't want any of this, but I can't lose you. Please," Mary begged, crossing to Tabitha and lowering onto her knees to take her wife's hands which were on her lap. "Please tell me I won't lose you."
OOC - All the things approved by Tabitha's author.
22
Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
Proving a Point [Brooding-Hawthorne quarters, tag Tabitha]
1424
1
5
Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 13, 2020 5:11 AM
I'd rather you just tell me. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
If there was one thing Tabitha had tried to look forward to, despite her entire life being turned upside down and shaken so that everything that had once been in order was now a mess, it was the Opening Feast. She had been very relieved to leave their small burden in their quarters with the prairie elves. It meant that, for a couple of hours, Tabitha could pretend that he didn't exist, that her quarters weren't now full of evidence of a small child and that her wife was all her own. There was more evidence of their surprise adoption on her face, of course, from the dark circles under her eyes and the feeling of exhaustion that she was sure would never fade away but she could pretend that it was simply for working too hard to prepare for the new school year. Everything could be ignored for a couple of hours. Tabitha could just be Tabitha again (and definitely, absolutely not 'Tabby').So, she made more effort than ever before to enjoy the Feast. She tried to laugh with her colleagues, smile at the new and returning students, clapped respectfully for the new prefects and Head Students. She was particularly pleased for Mary when it was announced that Dorian Montoir was the new Head Boy. Tabitha didn't know all the details about the boy but she knew that he was important to Mary. He seemed like he would be a good fit for the responsibilities that came with being Head Boy.
It was easy to pretend right up until just before dessert was served and her wife excused herself. Tabitha watched her go with a frown and confusion. They normally always stayed until the end of the feast, or as close to the end as possible, before returning to their quarters together. Ordinarily, Tabitha might've followed her but a selfish part of her made her stay seated, wanting her to pretend a little longer that there wasn't a small child sleeping in their quarters. So, Tabitha stayed and attempted to enjoy dessert but without Mary at her side, it tasted a little less sweet.
So, as soon as her plate was cleared, Tabitha excused herself and left the Hall, heading straight to her quarters. A uneasy knot tightened in her stomach, the feeling of something not right making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She felt for her wand in the inside pocket of long coat to reassure herself that it was there. She wasn't sure what could possibly happen within the halls of Sonora but it felt like something was coming for her and she certainly looked over her shoulder more than once.
Her arrival into her shared quarters with Mary seemed to make her wife jump and Tabitha was startled to see the eyes of her wife red-rimmed and wet and the knot in her stomach tightened, guilt piling on to her unease. She should've left the feast with her. Mary shouldn't have been alone. Tabitha wasn't very good at dealing with these sorts of situations so stood awkwardly by the door, wishing for the help of Darius or Evangeline or both. They'd know what to do and Tabitha wondered why she seemed to be cursed with an inability to deal with the emotions of another human being. Even unable to deal with her own emotions.
Then, Mary began to talk and Tabitha decided the best thing to do was let her and stood silently as she watched her wife declare how unfair their situation was and in a turn of events that struck Tabitha as bizarre, announce all the feelings that Tabitha had been having ever since the small child in the next room had landed in their laps. Mary was saying everything Tabitha had wanted to say but didn't. Tabitha didn't know if that made her weak, for bottling all the negativity she felt towards the child, towards Michelle. The Defence professor had never hated somebody she'd never met but Michelle had made it extraordinarily easy. Michelle wasn't here, though. She'd never see the problems she'd caused, the stress, anger and resentment. She'd never see the destruction that the decisions she'd made in life had caused. Michelle was dead. She'd never have to deal with any of this. Of course, it was only because she was dead and they were having to deal with it at all.
Confusion entered into the whirlwind of emotions when Mary suddenly demanded access to Tabitha's office. As the Defence professor, Tabitha kept it locked at all times when she wasn't in there to keep the nasty creatures that she needed for her lessons locked in and to keep prying students out. She didn't know what could possibly be in her office that Mary wanted as everything in there was unrelated to their current situation. Some of her journals were in there as were many, many books on her subject. There were also many souvenirs from all her travels lining the shelves and walls. There was nothing in her office that would help them.
Nonetheless, Tabitha obeyed her wife because to not do so currently seemed unwise. She unlocked it and opened the door, letting Mary in. She quietly shut the door behind them before turning her attention back to her wife who was now silently instructing her to sit down. Again, Tabitha obeyed.
It was almost a blink-and-you'd-miss-it moment and Tabitha, for once in her life, reacted too late. Convinced that her wife had gone mad from sleep deprivation or anger or something, she watched as the normally safely contained Boggart erupted from its confinement. Tabitha officially had no idea what to do this situation. The sensible, rational thing to do would be to overrule her wife and force the Boggart back into its chest but a warning look from Mary as she put her wand do forced Tabitha to stay her hand. She still produced her wand from her inside pocket and pointed it at the creature. She was not going to have them both unarmed.
Tabitha recognised the form of Parker, she had seen that before. It wasn't a surprise. She shifted uncomfortably when the Boggart took on her appearance and her voice, telling Mary those awful things. She wanted to shout that it was wrong, that Mary was worth it. That Mary was worth everything. The reason that Tabitha was suffering through their new burden was because of her wife. However, her voice seemed to fail her, the words stuck in her throat. She was startled when the Boggart used the very words that Tabitha had thought many times since they'd received that blasted letter. She did feel like she couldn't do this.
Then, the Boggart shifted to a different woman who, Tabitha couldn't help but think, was radiant. While Tabitha personally preferred Mary's appearance, she couldn't deny her beauty and, upon realising that it was none other than Michelle (or more accurately, Michelle's appearance), a part of her couldn't help but feel a little insecure about her own looks. Tabitha had known that Michelle had been a Veela but it had been easier to compete with the woman when Tabitha hadn't known what she looked like. To put a face to a name just made everything worse. She also really, really wished that she could hex the woman.
When the Boggart finally took on the appearance of the very child who was sleeping in just the other room (though the Boggart's form was a lot more dead), Tabitha couldn't help but fill with rage. This entire situation was completely Michelle's fault but she couldn't blame a dead woman. She wouldn't hear it. There was nowhere else to put her blame but on their inherited small burden, no matter how irrational that was. Tabitha knew deep down that this wasn't the fault of the child, either. It hadn't been his decision to be placed in the care of Mary and Tabitha but that didn't mean that Tabitha didn't resent him. He still caused enough problems to make it easier to resent him.
Tabitha was still seething even when Mary locked the Boggart back in its chest, which rattled violently. Tabitha wondered if she and the Boggart were both feeling the same hot anger, just for different reasons. Her fist was clenched so tightly around her wand, she could feel her nails digging into her palm.
Tabitha looked at Mary when she talked, her hands loosening only a little when Mary took them. She looked at Mary's tear-stained face, the fear etched so clearly on her features. Tabitha felt angry and upset and just so, so tired. The Boggart Tabitha's words echoed in her head which was pounding like a drum. She knew that she would stay. She knew that she would endure anything for Mary. She'd walk through Hell for the woman. She just didn't know if there'd be much left of her by the end of it.
"You won't lose me," Tabitha finally managed to murmur, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "I don't want any of this either but none of it compares with losing you."
20
Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
I'd rather you just tell me.
1417
0
5
Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
May 13, 2020 11:34 PM
I'll tell you I love you every single day. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
Mary breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't really expected Tabitha to decide suddenly to just up and leave her, but she couldn't help being a bit worried about it nonetheless. She put her head down on her wife's lap, happy to just be with her for a moment, just the two of them. It hadn't really been just the two of them for a while now."I think," Mary said with a small chuckle, "that this is going to get better. Mostly because we're pretty near rock bottom I think." She looked up at Tabitha again and tugged softly on her hands to encourage her to join her on the floor. It was just that kind of day. "Hey, I love you." She said it softly, which still seemed very loud in the disused Defense office, but she also said it playfully. It was an acknowledgment of things she hadn't been saying often enough recently. Resting her head on Tabitha's shoulder, she felt like she mostly just wanted to curl up and sleep on her wife's lap.
"I really hate Michelle," she admitted quietly, playing with Tabitha's fingers and hands. She appreciated that Tabitha spent so much time taking care of her and found it almost laughable that the woman was clearly not as maternally instinctive as Mary might've been. But of course, Mary had a good role model to see what it looked like to take care of someone small and fierce and a little bit fragile. "But . . . I think that maybe I can learn to love this kid. Circumstances aside, he's pretty cool. He's... well, he's a lot like you actually. He likes his dragon a lot, and he doesn't like needing help with things. And he's smart. And he's a cutie." She looked up at Tabitha, both to gauge her expression and to make another joke. "Nah, you're definitely cuter," she said, reaching up to kiss her.
22
Mary Brooding-Hawthorne
I'll tell you I love you every single day.
1424
0
5
Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 16, 2020 6:27 AM
I'll hold you to that. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Tabitha enjoyed the quiet and her hand moved to stroke Mary's hair, enjoying how soft it felt against her skin. She had missed moments like this so much. Moments where it was just the two of them, in the quiet of a room, just relishing being in each other's company. Where they didn't have to think about anybody else but each other. Tabitha had tried to be strong, tried to adapt to a brand new and difficult situation, tried to bend and be flexible to all the new changes that had taken place in her life that she hadn't asked for but it was hard and Tabitha wanted to hold on to anything familiar that was left and she needed the little moments like this. It was the moments like this that made everything else from the pain to the anger to the upset worth it because, at the end of the day, it reassured Tabitha that her wife did still love her and that the intruder currently sleeping in the other room hadn't stolen everything away.She didn't share Mary's optimism but didn't say anything to contradict Mary because it was nice to hear something positive. She allowed herself to be pulled onto the floor, positioning herself to let her back rest against the desk and crossed her legs. An arm snaked around Mary because that was just an automatic reaction when Mary was close enough. "I love you too," she responded quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of Mary's head, inhaling the comforting smell of jasmine. It felt restorative to do so.
Tabitha couldn't help but snort at Mary's admission. That was an emotion they both shared. If Tabitha could speak to the dead Veela, she'd have many, many things to say, along with many creative jinxes and hexes to fire. She wasn't sure she'd hated anybody quite this much before, not even John-Joseph and that was saying something because Tabitha also hated that man too. He was, however, easier to forget than Michelle. They had a permanent reminder of Michelle living with them and that wasn't likely to change anytime soon. Sometimes, Tabitha wished she'd been more vocal with her concerns and objections to taking him in. Or even, vocal at all. However, she also knew that he was just a child and a vulnerable one and her wife was a good persona and Tabitha seemed to have a complete inability to refuse the wishes of her wife.
Tabitha's face looked appalled when Mary compared her with the burden and she couldn't stop herself from saying, "We are nothing alike!"
She would not be compared with him. She was more than just dragons and stubbornness and an intellectual. Wasn't she? Her lips pouted as she tried to think of all the ways that she was different to the sleeping nightmare. There had to be at least a few.
Still, she allowed herself to be kissed by Mary and enjoyed the warmth and softness of her wife's lips. She would mull over the list of differences later when her wife wasn't being so thoroughly distracting.
20
Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
I'll hold you to that.
1417
0
5