The policy on small humans (tag Brooding-Hawthornes) on Crotalus Commons

Selina Skies

May 03, 2020 11:59 PM

The policy on small humans (tag Brooding-Hawthornes) by Selina Skies

When Nathan had come to her last year with his 'what to do about Dora?' question, Selina had been torn. On the one hand, she had originally said a year, based on the fact that once Dora started walking and talking she was liable to get herself into far more trouble. But that had been back when Dora had been an abstract concept, and a year had sounded like a reasonable trial period to see how having a small human on campus went.

The year had gone, and then some, and Selina had not raised the subject with Nathan. Partly because time flew. Partly because she could see that it was not sensible to make life harder for her staff. Partly because Dora had the squishiest little cheeks and she said the darndest things and Selina had Mr. Bear and a little pink teaset stored in her desk drawer and was quite happy to offer either of Dora's parents a little break and to take her off to play for a while.

She was not, therefore, particularly inclined to make any of them move out. She was not sure what it was like for Nathan though, juggling his various responsibilities. Whether he wanted to keep doing so, or whether this was him asking for more space to be a parent. She had used the trick of turning it back on him, rather than risking offering him the wrong thing.

In an ideal world, what answer would you get from me?

Starting there and working forward had proven relatively simple. She had taken the opportunity to use Nathan as a bit of a sounding board to work out multiple options. After all, what worked for him might not work for everyone. She was aware that she had more than one pair of married professors on her staff, and that most of her workforce were young people, who might well start realising soon that Sonora was limiting their social lives. That was, to a degree, inevitable. She probably couldn't help that they might want to wander beyond these walls, unless they all happened to be inclined to settle down with each other. But she could work to make it so that her staff didn't feel like they had to choose between their family lives and their jobs.

Those roughly drafted ideas had come in necessary far, far sooner than she had imagined.

The letter from Mary had the dubious honour of being amongst those that made Selina's jaw hit the floor, and possibly held the record on how long it had remained there. Whatever title of 'unexpected' Dora had come with had now been firmly wrestled from her. Selina had spent some time carefully composing the reply, which she addressed to both women, even though the original letter had been written only from Mary.

Dear Mary and Tabitha,

Firstly, let me say how sorry I am for what has happened to your friend. You both must be reeling right now, both from this and the very sudden changes to your lives.

I want you to know that Sonora is committed to being a family-friendly employer. We value you both as teachers and want to see you continuing to flourish in your jobs whilst having time for your family life. I had cause to discuss this with Nathan at the end of last year, and have been drafting an official policy. This will be shared at one of our first staff meetings this term, to check everyone is in agreement. I have included the rough draft for you here. Please know, I am not expecting detailed feedback from you at this time. I am sure that you have more than enough to process right now. If you want to put it to one side and not even look at it until the staff meeting, that's fine. I just wanted to reassure you that this support exists (or will soon) and let you check through it if you would find that reassuring.

I can have the elves set up your quarters similarly to the Xaviers'. If you have any particular requests, or want to change things after you arrive back, that's completely fine. I just want to minimise the arrangements you have to make, as I am sure you already have enough to do.

I will try to keep my schedule clear in the first day back so you are able to come and talk with me. Please let me know the name and age of the child.

Wishing you all the best,
Selina.

Setting up their quarters had been easier than the Xaviers' as neither parent needed access to a common room, let alone both needing access to common rooms in contradicting locations. A small bedroom had added off the side of the living area. It had a child-sized bed, a Z for Zeus above it, and a well-intentioned but aggressively gendered blue colour-scheme. Whilst brooms were the default motif when going for 'boy' this had at least been somewhat personalised: the bedspread showed cheerfully bubbling cauldrons, and the freize around the walls had dragons flapping along it. This was continued with a plushie dragon on the bed, and a play potions kit in the corner, full of pretend worms and lizards which could be cut apart with the chunky wooden "knife" to the heart's content, and which would join themselves back together for further play.

Selina had not wanted to take away the fun of decorating the child's room from his parents, and had left a note assuring them that she would take no offence whatsoever if they turned it inside out, but that thought of him showing up to bare, cold room with just the basics had seemed intimidating and cruel. The note had reiterated the times she was free during the first two days, and that they were free to come and see her whenever it suited them.

13 Selina Skies The policy on small humans (tag Brooding-Hawthornes) 26 1 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

May 04, 2020 12:53 AM

Meet the small human. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

OOC - I'm assuming this takes place before Mary talks to Nathan.

IC-

Everything was much harder than Mary had anticipated. Everything took longer, hurt more, and was a bit more exhausting. She couldn't imagine having also birthed the little beast. But somehow she was absolutely in love with him, despite the bags under her eyes, the midnight screams she could only soothe with hugs and her own mingling tears, and the really weird gross stuff that kids do. She thought she might be able to make a really powerful potion of some sort just from the secretions from various parts of Zeus' body. It didn't have to be an orifice even; kids were just sticky.

The worst part was the distance Tabitha seemed to be keeping Zeus, and by extension Mary, at through it all. It was Mary who got up at night to soothe a little orphan, it was Mary who played with him and loved on him. It was also Mary who had received horrible news about someone who had once mattered to her and she felt a bit like she'd lost her wife as a result of it all. Plus, Tabitha wasn't the only one with lessons to plan. Mary had anticipated that they would share the responsibility of parenting, not that she'd be a single parent in a loving, albeit cold, relationship. It wasn't going to work.

For several nights in a row, Mary kissed Tabitha good night and then laid in bed awake. She was too exhausted to cry any more and too exhausted to sleep. To-do lists poured through her brain and must have fallen out somewhere because she could never seem to remember everything during normal productivity hours.

She was able to draw more than a little comfort from the fact that Selina seemed to have thought of everything. Except that boys might like other colors besides blue. Still, Zeus' room was sort of perfect, and their living quarters were the best they could be given the circumstances. Mary's only fear was that Zeus' room placed herself and Tabitha as central figures in his life and while that may be true moving forward, he had another set of parents to remember too. But Mary wasn't sure how to balance that and didn't want to think about it just yet.

Selina's letter had come soon after Mary had sent one to her, and Mary had sent back a brief expression of gratitude and provided the requested information about the child's age and name. Whether that name was going to change - should he be Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne? That seemed presumptuous - was not a subject Mary wanted to broach right now. Then she and Tabitha had discussed when and how they would attend the requested office hours.

"Here we go," Mary told Tabitha, maybe a little flatly. Oh how she missed the spark and laughter in her wife's eyes. She turned to Zeus and offered as bright a smile as she could manage. "Hey, little man. You ready to meet Professor Skies?"

Zeus grinned and shrugged, not knowing what a professor was or why there was more than one sky to go meet. Perhaps they would be meeting a cloud today.

"Come on," Mary smiled, taking his hand and, with one more glance at Tabitha, leading the way to Selina's office.

She took a deep breath and then knocked. "Thought we'd introduce you," she smiled at a woman who had done so much for Mary and Tabitha so many times over. "And I brought toys for him so we can have our meeting and he can just play by himself." That was the benefit of adopting a child who had thus far not had any siblings, and whose parents had both worked; he was used to occupying himself. "Zeus, this is Professor Skies," Mary said to her ward, although her eyes were on Selina's face. "This is Zeus," she told her.

"Sky!" Zeus said, clapping his hands. His curls bounced as he did and his smile was just so perfectly cute. "You have hair like me," he added, pointing at the woman to indicate their matching blondeness.

Mary glanced at Tabitha. She found that was doing this regularly, trying to gauge her expression, her mood, her triggers. When they took a seat, Mary decided, she was going to hold her wife's hand under the table. This distance could not go on.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne Meet the small human. 1424 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 04, 2020 2:26 AM

Technically, he's not completely human. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Tabitha had not slept well. She was pretty sure at this point, she wasn't really sleeping anymore and just trying to mimic sleep by closing her eyes and trying not to think. Closing her eyes was the easy part. To stop thinking was much harder, nigh on impossible. Then, when she thought she might be on the brink of sleep, Zeus would begin screaming (which gave Tabitha cause to wonder if he was also part Jobberknoll only without dying at the end) and Mary would get up to go and soothe him and Tabitha would lie there, feeling angry, then guilty, then sad and then angry again in some sort of an endless emotional circle and she didn't know how to break it. Then, instead of trying to sleep again, Tabitha would get up and go and make a cup of tea because that was the only thing that seemed to bring her any comfort.

It was a big problem, Tabitha knew, her inability to bond with the child. She didn't wish for any harm to befall the infant. She found him annoying, disruptive, bewildering and wished that she had never found out about him more than once but she didn't want to see him hurt which was something, she supposed. It was going to be impossible to continue to be away from the child, especially when classes started. It would not be possible or even safe for Mary to have the child in her care while she was teaching and as the boy's other parent (Tabitha cringed thinking that word, definitely not a title she was comfortable with at all), Tabitha would have to look after him.

She didn't know how to do that. Mary seemed to have a natural gift with children whether they were small like the boy or one of her students. They didn't seem to phase her or cause her to panic and Tabitha felt rather jealous of that. Mary was being the perfect woman, the perfect wife, the perfect parent. She had taken to the toddler immediately and found ease in interacting with him. Tabitha could barely look at him. Even Darius and Evangeline had found the small child adorable and their twins had gotten on well with him. So why was Tabitha the only one struggling? What had gone so wrong inside her (whether that was her brain, heart or maybe her soul) that she couldn't even bear to pick him up? Even Ailuros liked him.

Perhaps it was a sign that Tabitha was only ever destined to be a teacher, though admittedly educating the small boy felt like a task bigger than anything she had face. Tabitha had never taught a child younger than eleven. The boy wouldn't understand have of the things she meant. When it came to planning a lesson, Tabitha didn't know where to start. What would she teach him? Dragons seemed like a good place to start given the decor of his new room though that plush cuddly dragon on his bed was absurd. Dragons weren't cuddly. They were fearsome but beautiful creatures who deserved every ounce of respect and awe. How could she teach that to a child who was learning that dragons could be cuddled? This was a nightmare.

A nightmare that was further added to by Mary saying that they should go and see Professor Skies, another activity that Tabitha didn't enjoy. She had nothing against the woman personally. In fact, she was rather grateful that the Deputy Headmistress had done as much as she had. Like everything else to do with the child, Tabitha hadn't wanted any part in the decoration of his room or the choosing of toys. She had looked at it but made little comment. Why would she need to? It wasn't her bedroom.

Despite not wanting to see Selina, Tabitha had thought it was probably a good idea to thank the woman in person. So, she had agreed a time with Mary and at that time, found herself outside of Selina's office door, a little behind Mary and their new small burden. She said nothing in reply to Mary as what was there to say? She quietly followed Mary into the office, kept silent when introductions were made and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other and looked at anywhere or anyone else than the small blond child. Selina had said in her letter that they could make requests. Could she make the child disappear?

"Thank you for seeing us," she began, deciding to get her thank-yous out of the way. "And for the creation of..." she swallowed thickly. Why was his name so hard to say? She had taken to calling him anything other than his name in her mind but that wasn't practical in conversation. "Zeus' room."

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Technically, he's not completely human. 1417 0 5

Selina Skies

May 04, 2020 6:05 AM

Wait, what? by Selina Skies

They had brought him! Selina had sort of hoped that they would but obviously there were certain things you couldn’t say in front of the child, that might need talking about. There was bound to be a tangle of emotions around this particular infant, but it was probably going to be a meeting more about practicalities if he was present. ‘Sudden’ and ‘shock’ and ‘dead’ were probably not words it was appropriate to use in front of him.

“That’s right,” she smiled, kneeling down to his level, when he labelled her ‘Sky.’ Dora definitely knew she was pafessersky, though Selina wasn’t sure if she knew it was more than one word, or whether she just assumed that everyone around here had weirdly similar names. Dora, however, had grown up with that word being bandied about. She was sure Zeus(! - but then, it wasn’t like that was Mary and Tabitha’s fault. And it wasn’t like he was alone in occupying the Weird Name List) would pick it up quickly enough.

“Yes we do,” she agreed, when he pointed out their similar hair colours. Before she could think about it, her eyes had flicked to his… to Mary and Tabitha. Because that was the first thing you did with small people. You looked to see what he’d got from who. Except, of course, he hadn’t. “But yours is curly,” she added, turning back to Zeus, miming a little spiral with her finger. “You’re a handsome little boy, aren’t you?” she smiled, “Welcome to Sonora.”

With that done, she straightened up, turning back to Mary and Tabitha. She tucked the smile she’d worn for Zeus back away. It was hard to know what expression to use, or what words were correct. Normally children were a source of congratulations, but given the circumstances…

“There’s a teddy in my desk too, if he gets bored,” she added, deciding to stick with practicality. She didn’t think he’d be interested in a pink tea set. “You’re welcome,” she added, when Tabitha mentioned the room. “I hope it’s to your, or his liking. If not, easily fixed,” she added.

“Now, what things did you want to talk to me about?” she added.

13 Selina Skies Wait, what? 26 0 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

May 04, 2020 11:13 AM

Pot-ay-to Pot-ah-to by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Zeus, for his part, was perfectly happy to be distracted, and took only a moment to dig into the airbag Mary had brought before heading off to sit near the wall and play. He really was a lovely boy when he wasn't busy making life difficult.

"Thank you. His room decor was very thoughtful," Mary said, echoing her wife's statements and taking her own seat. "I think your letter answered a lot of our questions about policy and procedure here," she said by way of answer, realizing that she maybe didn't rarely have a lot to say or ask. She just wanted to have a moment and to feel normal again. "I guess I wonder how best to . . . So, Dora has been here since she was born. The students who have met her knew she was coming before she did, or met her as a baby. And her parents' situation is a bit more . . . traditional." Mary was no fool that Selina was likely to have gone to bat for her married professors in more ways than one when they were both women. She wasn't sure how far that news had spread, but she could imagine more than a few pureblood families in particular who would not be thrilled. Now, with the adoption of a child. . . . "I would imagine he will be around where students would see him. He calls us Mary and Tabitha right now," she added, looking down. "Or 'Tabby'," she said quietly, aware that Tabitha likely had mixed feelings about that. "We're not sure whether that will change. He's . . . "

On the whole, Mary was not one to cry. She was brave and strong and only cried when really lovely beautiful things happened or when really awful things happened. This was neither. Or maybe it was both. Either way, she blinked to clear her eyes. She was just so tired.

"His mother," she began quietly, with a careful glance at the boy who was happily ignoring them. "Was a veela." The past tense killed her. "Near as we can tell, there aren't any . . . he doesn't seem to have inherited anything magical from her. We're not sure whether he knows that about her or not." Even if he did, he probably wouldn't understand.

Mary was generally comfortable being open and laying everything out on the table for Selina. The two had a good relationship and she was easy to get along with. Tabitha, she knew, hated being vulnerable. She knew Tabitha would have a much harder time expressing such personal things in a matter-of-fact way without being cold, but she also knew she probably hated hearing Mary do it, too. Hopefully, that wouldn't lead to resentment. Or at least, not any more resentment.

She reached for her wife's hand under the desk, hoping beyond hope that she didn't push her away.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne Pot-ay-to Pot-ah-to 1424 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 04, 2020 12:22 PM

This is not one of those situations. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Tabitha let Mary lead the conversation. She had said all that she had wanted to and anything further was likely going to be in response to something else, unless a question decided to pop into her head. Truth be told, however, that Tabitha felt that the thinking space inside her mind was rather limited. There were too many things to think about, too many questions, too many problems for which there weren't enough solutions, too many worries. These days, it hurt to think but Tabitha was unable to stop herself from doing so.

She refrained from a derisive snort at the use of the word 'traditional' to describe the marriage of their colleagues, Nathan and Isis. This situation was so far removed from theirs, it was rather incredible that they were being brought up at all. The words 'traditional', 'normal', 'orthodox' and 'conventional' were probably never going to be used to describe their situation because it simply wasn't. Adoptions were perfectly normal, a long-established way of becoming a parent but the sudden adoption of the son of the now dead ex-girlfriend of your wife's? Who had the little extra bit of baggage that came with being a half-veela? Tabitha didn't feel like that was 'traditional'.

Her thoughts turned briefly, again, to her parents. She had decided to with hold the news of her new title of 'parent' until she could see them in person. Something as big as this shouldn't be put in a letter (though, she thought bitterly, the executors of Michelle and Brandon's wills had done a stellar job of doing just that).

Her attention returned to the conversation in time to hear what the boy was apparently calling them. Tabitha tried not to frown. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be anything other than 'Tabitha' to the little terror. She certainly couldn't see herself ever being called any version of 'Mum'. That felt weird and awkward and didn't feel like it fit with who Tabitha was. More to the point, when had he picked up 'Tabby'? Nobody ever called her 'Tabby' except for Mary and Tabitha only allowed that because Mary was her wife and she loved her more than anything else in this world. The child-shaped burden hadn't earned that right. Many people called her 'Tabs'. If he had to shorten her name, that would be acceptable.

When Mary explained about the child's heritage, Tabitha felt more like she could join in at this point. She had a lot of research dedicated to Veelas, necessarily compiled in response to finding out about Cleo during her first year of teaching. To say she was informed was an understatement. If there was one thing she could look to the little beast for, it was to improve and update her research. It would be interesting to see what powers he had inherited from his mother, when they manifested or even if they did at all. Of course, the issue with this would mean that she would have to spend many hours watching him and she didn't like being in the same room for more than five minutes. He made her uneasy and anxious. To be with him for hours would surely turn her into a complete wreck.

"If he has inherited any Veela powers from his mother, it seems likely that they will become apparent as his wizard powers grow as he gets older. For the moment, we don't know any more than that," Tabitha told Selina. This part of the conversation was a little easier as she could look at the child from a completely removed viewpoint. Here, she could call on her professional capacity as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and discuss him as she would a creature. "Given that he is half-veela, I would personally be surprised if he has inherited nothing."

That was all Tabitha had to say on the subject. She had no personal desires for the child to have Veela powers or not. She had no desires for the child at all.

She jumped a little when she felt Mary take her hand. That was certainly unexpected but, as always, it was warm and a comfort and, most of all, it was familiar. They often held hands when sitting next to each other. It was nice that it was something that hadn't changed, that the arrival of the little boy playing in the corner hadn't taken away.

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne This is not one of those situations. 1417 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne 0 5

Selina Skies

May 06, 2020 7:07 AM

Indeed. A half-veela is not a poh-tah-to by Selina Skies

CW - homophobic microaggressions

Mary’s first inquiry was perfectly nor- well, made a lot of sense. The rather abundant lack of normality here was really the presenting problem. Selina had a few ideas on that, but decided to let both women finish speaking before she voiced them.

They rather abruptly departed from things they needed to know though to things Selina needed to know. Right. Well. He was... She re-evaluated the blond curls, before redirecting her attention to Tabitha, who was putting a professional rather than parental contribution into the discussion. Selina nodded to acknowledge her points.

“That’s fine,” she stated with only the slightest fraction of a hesitation. Not because it wasn’t fine, of course it was, but just because ‘fine’ seemed to be an odd word to apply to this. “We’ve dealt with that before,” she pointed out. And, unlike with Cleo James, at least they were all finding this out now. “I’d go with making sure he knows,” she stated, when Mary mentioned not being sure whether Zeus knew what he- his heritage was.

She knew that Mary knew veela. That connection had come up, and come in useful. She also knew that Mary had Known a veela in the more… detailed, interpersonal sense. She did not connect the possibility of that person being the mother of the child in front of her for several reasons. Firstly, she had not got the impression that Mary was close with her ex - not in a corresponding way, and most certainly not in a ‘be the guardian of my child if I die’ way. Secondly, and with far more shortsightedness on her part, she assumed that a person who had been a ‘friend of Mary’ in that way was not going to have been married and to have had a child.

“In terms of how to tell people… We can put it into the start of term announcements, if you’d like. You can choose the wording on that,” she assured them. “On the plus side, it just gets it over and done with, and means that everyone knows up front. It does, however, reduce the time you’d have available to tell anyone who you want to tell in a more personal way. I suppose a compromise there would be to announce that there is an additional faculty child on campus, or that some-” she did some mental gymnastics to try to work out the most diplomatic phrasing, “The guardianship of a child has been taken over by…” she shrugged the end of that sentence off. The trouble was, there was no way of avoiding pluralising the word professor there, and thus not a lot of space for ambiguity. Unless people accidentally ended up drawing conclusions about the Xaviers, which they probably wouldn’t be too grateful for. “Or you can just live your lives and answer people’s questions as they come up. But that means having the same conversation again and again,” she added. She suspected Mary had already seen that, but the trouble was, those were the options.

13 Selina Skies Indeed. A half-veela is not a poh-tah-to 26 0 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

May 06, 2020 10:24 AM

This half-veela is just a kid. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Mary was relieved that Selina only seemed as vaguely uncomfortable as she ever did in the face of an unexpected challenge, and not outright upset that Zeus had veela heritage. On the whole, she was doing very kindly. And Tabitha had accepted Mary's hand, even if she was being a bit snubby otherwise. For a moment, everything seemed a little bit more okay, like they might have been having this conversation six months from now when they'd planned on thinking of adopting. That would have been easier.

Glancing to Tabitha in case the woman had any preferences different to Mary's, the potions professor shook her head. "I think it would be best to introduce the idea ourselves more personally. I'm sure news will spread fast enough anyway," she said with a wry smile. "And we could announce it in our classes or to students as it comes up. More flexible that way." It would be nice if something were flexible again. If they had a choice in something again. She supposed they could have said no to the adoption, but that wouldn't have really been any better. Mary was eager for Michelle's will to be released, though, as she hoped it would give some insight into why in the heck the couple picked Mary and Tabitha to be their child's guardians in case of a tragedy.

The sound of several toys toppling over drew her attention and she glanced over her shoulder in time to see Zeus staring in mute shock at some of his Legos that had toppled over. He picked up two pieces, seemingly at random, and ran over to Mary and Tabitha. Mary put her hands out to help but Zeus had eyes for only her wife. He mushed the two together, not able to get them to click together himself, and then held them out to Tabitha, definitely refusing to look at either Selina or Mary.

"Please help fix it," Zeus said in his soft little voice, beaming up at Tabitha with the same determined look on his face that the Defense professor often wore when trying to solve a problem.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne This half-veela is just a kid. 1424 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 06, 2020 11:08 AM

A ‘kid’ who is now looking at me... help! by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Tabitha simply nodded, agreeing with Mary’s idea of telling people personally, rather than having it announced to everybody all at once. That gave them control on who they told, when they told them and how they told them. This was a good thing. Tabitha was uncomfortable with having everybody know her personal business. If it was possible, Tabitha would’ve preferred that nobody know at all but Zeus didn’t have an invisibility cloak and people were bound to notice the sudden appearance of the small blond boy. How many headaches with this child going to give her?

Any sudden noises automatically drew Tabitha’s attention. It was just instinct to look, in case it was danger. It proved somewhat silly in a lot of situations, particularly now given that they were in Selina’s office and she doubted the Deputy Headmistress was hiding anything sinister in a cupboard or a drawer. Her eyes landed on the child and his toys and she looked away again. Lego wasn’t a danger to her, Mary or even the boy, really. Unless of course it was stood on. Then it really hurt.

Tabitha was about to learn that it could hurt in a different kind of way when the little burden toddled over to her, clutching the two separated pieces. She seemed unable to find words to reply to his request and sent a distressed look to Mary. It was impossible to ignore him as he was looking straight at her and his eyes were rather compelling. There was no other option but to comply.

Hesitantly and with a blush colouring her cheeks with embarrassment (why did this have to happen in front of Selina of all people?), she took the two pieces of plastic from him and fitted them together in less than a second and handed them back.

“There,” she said simply, a little shortly but rather softly before looking away, unable to look at him any longer. That had felt like the biggest challenge of her life so far. It had been their first proper interaction and it had felt awful, difficult and completely exhausting. She certainly didn’t want to interact with him any further if that’s how they left her feeling.

Desperate to try and take the attention off her, she asked, “So, where were we?”

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne A ‘kid’ who is now looking at me... help! 1417 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne 0 5

Selina Skies

May 13, 2020 6:13 AM

Still not a poh-tah-to though by Selina Skies

OOC - homophobic microagressions

“Of course,” she nodded, when Mary stated they’d rather tell people in their own time. It was usually the nicer way to do it but, much like the nursery and so on, she just wanted to save them the bother if they didn’t feel able to deal with it.

“Are there any other things I can help with?” she asked.

Zeus it seemed, certainly had something on the list, although he was looking at Tabitha more than Selina for help with it. She suppressed a smile as she watched the woman who could defeat dragons and trail wampus cats almost get defeated by a pair of Lego bricks. Only almost though. She managed it. It was fairly clear that Mary was a much more natural parent than Tabitha, but quite honestly Selina wouldn’t really have needed to see them interact with a small human to guess that. She did not think there was anything inherently wrong with Tabitha not being that way. Had she been married to a man and been the child’s only mother, it might have been different but… well, Mary was the momsy mom and Tabitha was the father figure. Well, the rough and tumble one and the fixer of Lego structures. That sort of thing.

Although it had occurred to Selina prior to seeing this that Tabitha had, last year, been having some difficulty, and that having a child dropped into her fragile semblance of a routine and a work-life balance might have been the last thing she needed. Children were destroyers of schedules even when they had been planned for. To that end…

“If there was nothing else that you both - all,” she corrected herself, including Zeus with a wave of her hand, “wanted to catch up with me about, I would like to make time to speak to each of you individually too. Start of term catch ups, that sort of thing,” she assured them. It was all perfectly normal, though she definitely had pushed Tabitha fairly high up the priority list. “We could do that now if you can be spared,” she suggested.

13 Selina Skies Still not a poh-tah-to though 26 0 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

May 14, 2020 12:32 AM

You're not wrong. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Mary couldn't help smiling a bit at Tabitha's discomfort in this case, because it was really super cute. She did try to suppress it though, as she suspected that Tabitha would not appreciate that assessment. Besides, a new matter was coming up and Mary needed to make a decision.

She would really like to talk to Selina. She would also really like to nap. Also Zeus needed to nap at some point, and probably have a snack. Also if she talked to Selina now, then Tabitha would have to sit with Zeus, and so far that didn't seem like a good idea most of the time. Or any of the time. Then there was the small matter of Tabitha probably being less likely to seek help after this, which meant that she probably wouldn't set up a check-in with Selina unless pushed to do so. There was only one option then, and Mary resigned herself to appreciate it for what it was.

"I should probably get Zeus down for a nap," she said, glancing at Tabitha to confirm this. "Why don't you two check-in, and Selina if you're free the first week of classes, we can meet then? I'm up early these days if you wanted to meet Monday before classes start. Whenever works."

Mary stood up and turned to find that Zeus had already packed his things up, apparently having heard the turn in conversation, and was standing nearby, yawning hugely. He was obviously as ready for a nap as Mary herself was and she smiled a little at the boy before looking back at Selina.

"Thank you so much for making time today. And it's good to see you!" she added with a more playful smile. "Let me know what works best for you for meeting and we'll plan on that." She really wanted to lean down and kiss Tabitha's cheek but they were professors more than spouses at the moment so she refrained, settling for a light pat on her shoulder instead before taking Zeus and excusing the two of them from the room.

OOC - Feel free to carry on without Mary if you want to thread your one-on-one, and Selina, if you want to do another thread for a one-on-one with Mary, just let me know. :)

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne You're not wrong. 1424 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 16, 2020 6:41 AM

This whole situation is wrong though. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Tabitha really didn't want to have a one-to-one chat with Selina. The entire meeting thus far had been stressful and taxing and the sudden interaction with the small burden had been completely exhausting. She was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic and trapped in Selina's office and desperately wanted to leave and escape to the Gardens for some fresh air and silence. On the other hand, if Mary stayed, care of the small beast would likely fall to Tabitha, something that she also definitely did not want. It seemed that Mary didn't want that either as she was suddenly bidding Selina goodbye and taking herself and the small child out of the office, leaving Tabtiha and Selina alone.

Tabitha couldn't help but fidget a little in her seat but tried to keep still as, in front of Selina, she always tried to appear as professional as possible. Selina and her office always made Tabitha feel like a naughty child in trouble and it was a feeling that she still hadn't gotten over even entering into her fifth year of teaching. It was starting to feel that, at this point, she wouldn't ever stop feeling that way around the Deputy Headmistress. She really wished she had Mary's ability to talk to other people easily. Why did Tabitha find it easier to socialise with Ailuros than with another human being?

"Was there something specific you wanted to speak to me about?" Tabitha asked, hoping that the topic of choice was going to remain as the little boy who'd just left. She also prayed that this wouldn't be a long meeting. She needed a walk and some fresh air, followed by a glass of the firewhiskey that she had in the drawer of her desk.

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne This whole situation is wrong though. 1417 0 5

Selina Skies

May 24, 2020 10:54 PM

Well. We can agree on 'not a po-tah-to' by Selina Skies

Selina tried to politely not notice the way Tabitha fidgeted in her seat, as if she was a naughty school girl, here for a dressing down. She wondered whether this behaviour was because Tabitha had been in that position many times, or because she never had been - both could produce the same effect, with the innocent often finding it most uncomfortable to be in trouble, whilst the troublemakers grew immune. She wasn't quite sure she would have put Tabitha in either if those camps, though she would have guessed at it being more likely than not that she had got herself into trouble on occasion. But perhaps not through deliberate misbehaviour or rebellion - maybe she was more the 'I just wanted to see what would happen if...' or 'the dragon looked like it wanted company!' type. That seemed most likely. Anyway, whatever her past record, Selina now just tried to find it amusing that this woman who willingly wrestled wampus cats was, apparently, afraid of her. Rawr.

She had to find it amusing because if she didn't, she would probably find it sad instead. She wanted Tabitha to trust her, to believe that Selina's checking in was designed to help her, not a sign that she had insurmountable weakness or flaws. Everyone had difficulties. They got better when you shared them. Tabitha was still learning that.

"Well, initially I wanted to check in about last year," she stated calmly. Tabitha had been struggling with various things. Selina had talked to her about organisation - that it was a learnt skill that took and effort, and that there was no shame in making to do lists or keeping diaries. It was a thing she had seen before - people who believed that organisation was some kind of natural gift that fell from the sky, and that you were either blessed with it or not. She supposed there was a degree of that. She saw students like Dorian turn in fully colour-coded project files as if they were the most natural thing in the world, whilst students like Anya barely remembered to do their assignments. But when you were failing to get organised, the secret really was to try it, rather than assume it was something you were missing, or that relying on things besides your own memory was a sign of weakness, or that you would get organised if only you had the time to get organised but you had ended up in the position of fighting fires or spinning plates... That last one wss the hardest cycle to break, and was the one she suspected Tabitha was having the most trouble with. Selina had tried to guide her towards concrete completable tasks, like blocking off specific time to do her admin and not allowing herself to be interrupted. She had also been more than happy to help Tabitha find someone outside of school to talk to if she needed it.

"It seems now though that there might be other priorities. Or perhaps they're one and the same thing - children turn schedules and lives upside down, even when they're planned for. This has got to be quite a big adjustment," she offered. "And... complicated, in terms of feelings," she added. It wasn't a subject she felt Tabitha was likely to open up with her about but she wanted her to know the option was there.

"We can talk about whichever of those is the most pressing for you," she added. "I just want to make sure I'm setting things up for you to have a good year and have what you need."

13 Selina Skies Well. We can agree on 'not a po-tah-to' 26 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 25, 2020 1:36 PM

Definitely not a 'po-tah-to'. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Despite the fact that Selina was probably never going to be the person that Tabitha came to for help in a crisis (that wasn't because she thought Selina wouldn't do well in a crisis, the woman was a Deputy Head for a reason, dealing with crises was part of the job description, she assumed), she did feel grateful for the help that Selina was offering and had already offered. She had given Tabitha helpful advice on how to handle her workload and classes and Tabitha was trying to at least implement some of those... The idea of a diary had been a good one because Tabitha was already used to scribbling her experiences down in journals, she just had to adapt to scribbling down her schedule instead.

"I appreciate that," Tabitha said honestly and folded her hands together in her lap, trying to stop herself from picking at her fingernails. "Everything's just been such a whirlwind, it's hard to keep track..."

She didn't know what to ask Selina. Tabitha had a lot of questions about children and parenting but didn't feel particularly comfortable in asking them. 'Complicated feelings' didn't even really seem to quite cover how she felt about her own emotions, of which there were many and even though Selina had left it to her to decide which direction the meeting should go, Tabitha didn't have the faintest idea on which was more pressing because the organisation of her professional life seemed more important because, at the end of the day, Selina had hired her to teach and to teach well. Then again, the sudden adoption of a half-veela child was also pretty important because there was no way that wasn't going to impact on Tabitha's professional life but she did not want to talk about the child anymore.

"What do I do?" she asked suddenly and looked surprised at her own question that was so completely and utterly vague, mostly because she didn't know what to do about anything. She lifted a hand to rub it over her face, almost trying to massage the stress away before she tried again. She needed to pick a direction to focus on and she needed to do it now. She did not want to have some sort of crisis in Selina's office. She was already embarrassed enough. "What do I do about him?"

That hadn't been the question that she had wanted to come out but it was the one that she desperately wanted an answer to because Tabitha didn't know how to be a parent and now, she didn't have a choice in the matter and she did not know what to do.

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne Definitely not a 'po-tah-to'. 1417 0 5

Selina Skies

May 26, 2020 4:38 AM

Right. That's somewhere to start from then by Selina Skies

“I’m not surprised,” Selina agreed empathetically when Tabitha said things had been a whirlwind. The defence professor then seemed to actually sit and think about the question for a while. That, at least, was not an immediate wall and an insistence that she did not need help.

When the question came, it was… not exactly surprising, but it sounded more like a cry for help than anything. Tabitha was definitely lost.

“That’s a big question,” Selina acknowledged. “So, I suppose, the same way you tackle anything big. Break it down into smaller steps, work out which ones you can do now, prioritise the ones that are most urgent. You’re good at those skills,” she encouraged. Yes, Tabitha had needed some help staying on top of her work load last year, but she was a swimmer not a sinker, “You see mountains and your instinct is to climb them,” Selina reminded her, “That takes a particular type of person, and it has more transferable skills than you realise. Even when the mountain stops being the literal kind you prefer, and turns out to be a stack of lesson plans or a four year old child.

“What’s bothering you most? That you don’t know what four year olds need? That you didn’t expect this?” she gave a couple of examples, trying to steer Tabitha away from repeating her previous answer, or seeing it as an insurmountable whole. When you looked at the entire picture, it was definitely intimidating. “It’s a unique situation, but you have people around you who share elements of it. Bringing up a child and balancing it with school life. Adopting. Grief and shock… It’s hard, having to deal with all those things at once, but try sorting them into different feelings instead of one big one, and working out who can help you deal with each one. Maybe sometimes it’s you by yourself. Maybe sometimes it’s Mary. And maybe sometimes it’s someone else.

“And the same with how you move forward with each of them… I know it’s a cliche, but one step at a time. I’m not saying you never need to evaluate the bigger picture. From time to time, it helps to check in on it. But what needs getting through today, or this week? However far ahead you’re able to look. You might find the rest sorts itself out when you start with the small bits that in the here and now.”

13 Selina Skies Right. That's somewhere to start from then 26 0 5

Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

May 26, 2020 12:46 PM

But I don't know how to move on from the starting point. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne

Selina was talking and what she was saying was making a lot of sense, in theory. Breaking things down into smaller, manageable steps was something Tabitha was familiar with. It was something she applied to all of her big journeys. She was able to visualise and create an end goal, a destination and she was able to plan the journey in its entirety but actually executing the plan was harder. She had to break it down into steps and take them one at a time, create small goals for the end of each day. For example, hike a certain number of miles or reach a certain landmark. It felt impossible to tackle it as one big expedition but breaking it down made it easier and it was a practice that Tabitha had refined over the years and now came naturally.

The trouble with applying it to this situation is that Tabitha didn't even know what the destination was or what she wanted to achieve. How could you break a journey down into steps if you didn't know where you were headed? That would mean you were aimless and would most likely end up lost which wasn't a situation anybody wanted to be in. Being lost could often cause people to end up in more dangerous situations. This was already a bad situation, Tabitha didn't want to make it any worse.

It seemed like it could only get worse when Selina asked what was bothering Tabitha most. She found that she was unable to answer because the truth was, everything was bothering her. She supposed the answer was 'the boy' because he changed everything about her life, from her marriage to her professional life but she didn't want Selina to think she was some sort of heartless monster for pinning all of her current problems on a child. Tabitha had wanted to adopt. She had suggested the idea to Mary first and, technically speaking, they had done that. It hadn't quite been the circumstances that they had expected or even wanted but they had adopted. Tabitha was now a parent.

So why did she want to be anything but?

"I don't know how to be a parent," she murmured, feeling guilty for admitting it. She was a failure. Weren't women supposed to have these natural maternal instincts already hardwired into them? If so, where were hers? What had gone wrong with her that they seemed to have abandoned her in her time of need? Did that mean she was unfit to be a parent? And, of all people she was confessing this to, it was Selina. Was there any other way she could humiliate herself? "I wanted a family but this is not how it was supposed to happen."

20 Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne But I don't know how to move on from the starting point. 1417 0 5

Selina Skies

June 11, 2020 4:44 AM

One step at a time by Selina Skies

“No one does,” Selina stated when Tabitha admitted to having no idea how to be a parent. “Even the ones who’ve read all the books and think they know how to apply it all - who are going to do ten step sleep programs, and give their child the perfect psychologically balanced reward system. It all goes to pot at some point. Every parent snaps when they’re tired, or bribes their child with a cookie at some point. And sure, some people are more maternal than others. But there’s a lot of different aspects to being a parent,” she stated. She did find it a bit odd when women weren’t particularly interested in children but well… Zeus had a mommy who had that kind of mommyish outlook, so it was probably fine. She wasn’t sure she was meant to say things like that though - it probably sounded too old-fashioned. Tabitha could be the fun, rough and tumble parent. Selina could see that working just fine.

“You’re a good person. And you’re going to find the bits of this you’re good at, even if you haven’t yet. I’m sure Mary has the squishy fluffy side down, and provides more than enough for both of you. No one needs you to be her. Zeus already has one of those,” she pointed out with a wry smile.

“Yes the circumstances have got to be jarring to say the least. Sometimes we have to just… be okay with not being okay with something for a while though, until it goes away. I’m never very good at being patient with those kinds of problems either,” she admitted. “But at least you wanted this in some form or another. Maybe that’s something to think about - you pictured yourself being a parent, so what did that look like? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I can’t imagine that, even in your idealised version of this picture, you stopped being you. So, whatever things you were bringing to the table there, you still can. Once you get over the shock.”

13 Selina Skies One step at a time 26 0 5