Very casually sitting at the Crotalus table. on Cascade Hall

Nathaniel Mordue

December 15, 2019 7:02 PM

Very casually sitting at the Crotalus table. by Nathaniel Mordue

Nathaniel had been surprised by how good it had felt to be back in his room. All summer, after all, he had dreaded his return to those four walls. Dreaded all the memories of last semester he had assumed that looking at them would bring back to him - the memories of lying sleepless night after night staring at the ceiling, the memories of the multiple times he had smashed everything and felt better and then had to fix it all and ended up feeling worse, the memories of slowly losing his mind over the course of months. He was barely functioning half the time as it was. How, he had wondered, was he supposed to continue doing so - not even getting better, just refraining from getting worse - if he returned to the place where the majority of the damage had occurred?

Instead of a rush of memories, however, he had felt a rush of relief. For the first time in a long time, he had felt like he could relax. He had been able to put his photographs of his own home back where they belonged, and while he still didn't have the heart to put his mother's portraits out again, he knew he could do so if he wanted. He had been reasonably confident that nobody was going to walk in on him. He had been able to close his eyes and feel reasonably confident that nobody was watching him or listening to him without his knowledge. He had felt free, and had slept unusually well, for the new normal.

As soon as he woke up (with, as always, a start, though he had managed to sleep until six this morning), though, he had begun to worry again. Specifically, about Sylvia.

How is she handling it? Is she angry with me about it? If she is, what does that mean?

He had laid there turning ideas over and over again in his head until it was time to get up and get ready for the day and arrive at breakfast at least shortly after the doors opened. He never arrived before they opened, or the moment they opened. That was important. Even at his lower points, he had known he could not make it obvious he was just waiting for it to be early enough to drag himself to the Teppenpaw table and stare peacefully at his cereal slowly absorbing milk for as long as possible before dragging himself through his classes for another endless day. Now, on a reasonable day, he definitely was not going to show up at the Crotalus table at the crack of dawn to obviously wait anxiously for his family.

He probably, he thought, should have gone to Teppenpaw this morning at least. He also should have waited for the first years to show up in the common room so he could tell them good morning and show them how to get to the Hall if they had forgotten, like a good prefect. Instead, though, he went to the Crotalus table, badge hidden away in his pocket for now so he wasn't throwing it in Sylvia's face.

Maybe it wouldn't matter. Sylvia knew it wasn't his fault - knew he had assumed she would get it, because she had deserved it - and would be happy to see him doing something normal, as though nothing had happened. Maybe Jeremy would even join them for breakfast. He had seen his brother applauding last night at the Feast, so maybe everyone was happy-ish now and they could be together like a normal family and he could get this year off to the closest thing to a good start that was possible.

For now, though, he just put cereal in a bowl, then poured milk on it. Made an effort to pour himself a cup of coffee and add milk to it instead of just staring at his cereal absorbing the milk. And waited to see what would happen.

16 Nathaniel Mordue Very casually sitting at the Crotalus table. 1412 1 5

Sylvia Mordue

December 20, 2019 3:47 AM

I don't do casual but I am pleased to see you by Sylvia Mordue

Sylvia, face on and hair elaborately braided with a large ornamental flower clip to the side, made her way into breakfast. She was reassured by the sight of Nate doing something so perfectly normal as sitting at Crotalus table with his breakfast in front of him. Nate being normal had been something that it had been hard to rely on for the last few months, and Sylvia was keen to put that behind them as fast as possible. Perhaps being back at school would make things settle back down. After all, for all the time they usually spent together at home, it was a change of routine for Nate to actually live there, full time. There were no objections from her, of course, other than the unfortunate circumstances that had rendered it necessary, but she could recongise that it was a change for Nate. Here at Sonora though, nothing had to be different. They could fall straight back into their old routines, and then Nate would be normal again.

Even though Nate was a Teppenpaw, it was perfectly typical for him to spend most mornings at their table because… well, that was where Sylvia was, primarily. Along with most of the other people worth knowing in the school, but she would have expected her cousin to gravitate wherever she was. Occasionally she graced the Teppenpaw table too, just to remind everyone that there was nothing wrong with Nate being there - it showed he had very gentlemanly qualities like the drive for self-improvement and skills in diplomacy. The latter seemed unlikely to be genetic. It had not escaped her notice that Jeremy’s dinner companion had left in a huff. It was one of those odd things where she found she couldn’t really blame Jeremy, which was something she was rather used to doing by habit. Of course, it didn’t do to cause a scene but the Hayles girl was another one made in Jasmine Delachene’s mould, as far as she could tell. Sylvia would not have wanted to associate with her either. And her being so uppity as to get into a temper over whatever he’d said - well, it either showed she didn’t know her place or proved what they said about redheads and tempers. Those were the lines Sylvia would trot out if needed. Sylvia would have chosen to just ignore her but maybe that had been all Jeremy had done and it had got under the girl’s skin if she was used to being considered special.

Anyway, as usual, Jeremy was of little importance. Nate having received prefect gave the two of them a highly important matter to discuss, as he was going to have to dance the opening number at the school ball. It was scarcely the biggest event of the society calendar, given that it was at school, but it was a perfect platform for making sure that everyone considered him a respectable young gentleman. And, as the gender ratios were in his favour, this could end up working out extremely well for him.

“Good morning,” she smiled cheerfully taking the seat beside him, “And congratulations,” she wished him with a beaming smile. “Where’s you badge?” she added in an undertone as her eyes swept over her robes and found it missing.

13 Sylvia Mordue I don't do casual but I am pleased to see you 1413 0 5

Nathaniel Mordue

December 20, 2019 7:22 PM

I am being Normal Me. by Nathaniel Mordue

Nathaniel flushed as Sylvia pointed out the absence of his prefect's badge, wondering now if it was more noticeable that he wasn't wearing it. Should he pretend he'd forgotten it? Would that make it better or worse? On one hand, he had to admit he was worried about her. On the other, he might offend her by implying it was of no importance - or worse, might make her worry about him more, implying that he was too blurry-brained and out of it to remember basic things....

"Here," he said, half-lifting his bag to demonstrate. "I wasn't as sure about wearing that...over here," he said, now tilting his head toward the rest of the Crotalus table. "But I have it."

Now he felt stupid for over-thinking this. Sylvia looked genuinely pleased about him getting it. She looked exactly like her own lovely self this morning - and he knew quite well, after last year, how she looked when she was angry with him. And - it wasn't as if he had done anything. It wasn't his fault that things had fallen out the way they had. What had he been thinking?

"I'm sorry you didn't get one," he said. "You should have. You'd be the best of anyone in the year," he said firmly, feeling quite confident for a pleasant change. It was just so obvious, though. Even if he did lower his voice slightly when he said it, to make sure nobody but Sylvia overheard him, because he knew he did not have the energy to get into an argument or worry about whether someone was going to try to hex him the back in Defense or anything like that. Better to be somewhat diplomatic in his honesty, he thought.

16 Nathaniel Mordue I am being Normal Me. 1412 0 5

Sylvia Mordue

December 30, 2019 3:56 AM

Excellent by Sylvia Mordue

"Nonsense, you're prefect over here too," Sylvia pointed out, when Nate stated that he hadn't been sure about wearing his badge at their table. Although his next comment made her wonder, whether he had meant the location even more specifically than that…

"Thank you," she smiled, relieved to know that Nate was on her side. It was a fact that was rarely in doubt but it didn't stop it from being nice to hear it confirmed. Everyone liked a sincere and well-structured compliment after all, and Nate was very good at those. "You always have the nicest things to say," she told him appreciatively.

"It was a little disappointing," she admitted, her volume matching his to keep this admission confidential. "But given how my team fared in a task with subjective marking last year, I suppose it can't be considered all that surprising. And Caitlin's better connected to the one staff member who allegedly promotes proper values," she gave her analysis, keeping her voice very soft and her smile fixed in place. The last couple of years had shown her that Headmaster Brockert could not be as powerful as his name and position implied, as there was far too much pandering to the liberals for him to be in complete control of the school. It was a hint she had tried, tactfully, to drop in front of Winston, whilst not outright stating that position of course. However, that had either gone over his head (in which case, good luck to him in politics in general, and dealing with That Alicia in particular) or he understood but was perfectly willing to let all the problems associated with Sonora become associated with the name of Pierce as well as that of Brockert (in which case, again, good luck to him - and by ‘good luck’ she naturally entirely meant she hoped one of those things caused an untimely stab wound to his person, or at the very least, a continuous and irritating headache). Anyway, with Headmaster Brockert on Caitlin’s side, she hadn’t really expected anyone else to favour her, although given that they enjoyed petting the liberals and the foreigners, it wouldn't seem to incline them towards Caitlin either. That suggested that it was the headmaster's minimal influence that had swung it in her roommate’s favour - plus Sylvia was inclined to play the cards that suited her most, and so he was losing his grip when she said so, and clearly able to play favourites when that fitted her narrative better. She suspected Professor Xavier may have had a hand in her non-appointment too, though she felt it ill-becoming of him to look down on her for lacking manners during a perceived emergency. No one handled emergencies politely, that wasn’t the damn point of a reaction to one. She thought she ought to get points for swift and decisive action in trying circumstances but unfortunately everyone else seemed to be an idiot, so she was out of luck there. She did not want to bring this up with Nate though, lest he felt he was to blame. Much easier to lay it at the door of the headmaster and the bleeding heart liberals, which were enough of a force, after all.

"But perhaps it's for the best,” she continued, “There is rather a shortage of suitable dance partners for the ball, after all," she added. On the one hand, she felt like being prefect would give her a clear priority over the other girls but pickings were so slim that she wasn't sure it would work out even then, especially as one of the most eligible dates around was her cousin. "It works out rather in your favour though," she pointed out, "You actually might have your pick of dates,” and she did not point out, that was a surprising position for them to be in, given recent circumstances, but she was very pleased by this excellent chance to rehabilitate Nate’s reputation. “Is there anyone you'd like me to subtly float the idea with?" she asked. After all, she was well positioned, having established the Gardenia Girls, to lead and control the notion of who went with whom, to put in a good word for Nate where it was wanted, and to discourage any attention where it wasn't.

13 Sylvia Mordue Excellent 1413 0 5

Nathaniel Mordue

December 30, 2019 7:33 AM

If you say so. by Nathaniel Mordue

The nicest things to say. Nathaniel supposed that was better than having nothing at all to offer, but he still felt vaguely ashamed of himself. He wasn't lying right now, but....

He smiled, too, as Sylvia explained her reasoning about why the cards had fallen the way they had. Sylvia did not always say the nicest things - at least, about other people; sometimes he wondered what she said when he wasn't around, but dismissed that thought as a symptom of his illness. It was different, him and Sylvia; it always had been - but she always kept her face on. Except for the one time she hadn't. Because she loved him. She had phrased it in a way he hadn't liked as much - talking about how she needed him - but he needed her, too. It was selfish, what he had done - how he had done it - maybe -

He did not have time for this. He imagined his thoughts as words on a streamer, and shoved it in a box to deal with later. If he had to. He would rather not deal with it at all, ever.

"True," he said. "It's very wrong of them to do that anyway, though."

That was true. It wasn't fair - none of it was fair. They were in this position, though, because all the wrong people had power and used it in all the wrong ways. His stomach twisted, but this time with anger.

One day, he swore silently to himself. I promise.

His thoughts about fairness and right and wrong and the state of the world were driven straight out of his head, however, by the next thing Sylvia said. The smile dropped from his face entirely and for a moment, he looked openly alarmed before he composed himself again, as much as by habit as anything. It was important, after all, to keep one's face on, at least as far as possible, preferably as far as possible without lying.

Dates. Dear Merlin. He had tuned that out last night, too busy helping Alexander get his bearings while also worrying about how Sylvia was feeling, but dates were a thing this year. His heart fluttered unhappily in his chest, and he reached for his coffee as she continued on, more or less offering to set him up with one of her friends.

In theory, that meant nothing. It was one dance - one evening at worst - a formality. Nothing. Or nothing important, anyway. While Nathaniel had been born on a day, though, that day had not been the day before. He knew what people would want to turn it into. He knew what Sylvia might even want to turn it into. A picture-perfect story. Nothing to analyze, nothing to comment on, just two sane, flawless people moving like funfair toys, their actions all carefully scripted, meaningless, until one day, without fully understanding how it even got to that point, it was 'I do' and 'she does' and there he was, with yet another burden to deal with, as if the family he had already wasn't enough....

Except. Except that things had changed. Officially, his parents were dead; unofficially, everyone in this school knew exactly what had happened, or at least everyone who mattered did. There was also the small issue of how, exactly, he could possibly support any of Sylvia's friends in any of the fashions to which they were accustomed. It was quite one thing for a younger son to support himself, another to support one of the most precious and privileged pureblood girls in the country. He took a breath. It was okay. He was almost certainly safe, at least from marriage. Respectable families might let their daughters dance with him because he was officially Alexander Mordue's son - much as the title revolted him - but none of them were apt to let said daughters marry the nearly fortune-less biological son of two people who had both indulged their perversions to the point of madness and social death. It was okay. Relatively speaking.

"I...hadn't really thought about it." He grimaced apologetically. "With...everything that happened," he added in an undertone, "I've...tried to avoid thinking about girls at all. For the past few months, anyway. I suppose I should start again." Just the thought made him tired. He started fixing another cup of coffee, adding two teaspoons of sugar to it this time along with milk. This combination was not his favorite in terms of taste but it kept him awake. "You know them better than I do, though. What do you think? I assume we're talking about your friends." He kept his tone as neutral as possible there. "The little blonde one is probably the least likely to - well - hold the past against me," he added, reverting to the undertone as he added the milk to his drink. "If only because I assume she doesn't know much of it." Surely Sylvia had not gossiped about him with her girlfriends last year. Surely not.

16 Nathaniel Mordue If you say so. 1412 0 5

Sylvia Mordue

December 31, 2019 5:15 AM

Absolutely. You're wonderful by Sylvia Mordue

Sylvia did not read much into Nate's comment about putting girls out of his mind, taking it more to mean that he had been too busy/stressed to consider them rather than any kind of indication that he had developed a pathological dislike of the broad idea of human interaction in general and matrimony in particular. That would have been rather a lot to read into it.

"Well, the ball puts you in a good position to start doing so again," she agreed when Nate said he should start considering his options.

"And yes, naturally," she agreed when he mentioned her friends. Interestingly, he seemed to express a slight preference for Katerina. His reason was political and logical enough, but given how he'd referred to her, she wondered whether Nate just had a thing for blondes.

"Katerina's a perfectly reasonable choice, as is Allegra or Caitlin" she offered neutrally. There was no point looking to the upper years - firstly, they were not under Sylvia's command, and she suspected her influence to be minimal there, especially with such an odd proposition as dating a boy younger than themselves. That was problem number two - it was just not done. Finally, there seemed little point - the number of proper boys and girls in the upper years was a dead even match so they cancelled each other out. There was also no reason for Nate to go any more than a year below his own age, in that it would also look odd. In a marriage, it often happened, both because girls matured more quickly and because it was important for a lady to be young and beautiful, whereas it mattered less for men, but at their age the lower cut off before it got creepy and weird was a lot smaller. That essentially meant that he was picking between Caitlin, Katerina, Topaz (no) and Allegra. His competition, such as it was, consisted of Beau Tate and, for the younger two, Julius Astley. Julius was, she supposed, fine. In a competition between Beau and Nate, Nate was clearly the far superior gentleman. Beau was too much of a poser and far too into his own looks. Unfortunately, he was probably her best option for a date, unless she could steal an older boy (after all, the older students weren’t her girls, so there was no pack loyalty saying she couldn’t). There was the unknown factor of Heinrich, who desperately needed a date because he was a prefect, but she was never sure how proper he was considered, or whether Katerina would just default to favouring foreignness over properness anyway.

All in all, it was a rather disappointing spread for her. If Caitlin had been a better friend and got Sylvia engaged to Winston, it wouldn’t have mattered. Admittedly, she would still have been dateless because he would have graduated, but she would have been sitting on the sidelines because of her absent fiancé and that was very different to sitting on the sidelines due to a lack of options. Or scraping the barrel with Beau. She was still deciding whether it was worth putting about the idea that they should treat it, as best they could, as a society ball, and mix and match rather than having rigid dates, but she might get asked to dance less than the other girls just by virtue of there being a lack of suitable suitors, and she did not want to look inferior in any way, even if it was purely down to circumstance. Having Beau as guaranteed for an evening was better than being alone (at least, from how she looked - she wasn’t sure that company-wise it was at all preferable) but having a few dances with different, interesting boys would have been nicer. If only there were some…

The main thing to handle for now was what Nate wanted, seeing as all eyes would be on him, both as a prefect and… well because of unfortunate circumstances. Personality-wise… She wasn’t sure what she wanted in a girl who would date Nate. That he found them tolerable, she supposed. She knew that none of them would hold a candle to her - it was a burden of being the leader that no one else was quite on your level, intellectually. However, it was obvious that Nate would not find anyone to be superior to her, so their lack of sparkling wit etcetera wasn’t really a problem. In the long term, Nate having a wife who was quiet and did what Sylvia told her also didn’t sound like the most terrible option, though obviously no-one as frail and pathetic as his mother, both because that was a burden and because it said psychologically disturbing things about Nate if that was his preference.

“Either of the younger two would probably be excited to have a date, especially with a nice, fifth year prefect, and as there’s only one good boy between them in that year. Whereas Caitlin being prefect for Crotalus needs one more… So, whoever you choose will essentially owe us a favour, or at least should be rather pleased with us.” She supposed the reverse was also true - if they did not help Caitlin out, would it be perceived as having let her down, and thus would they have made a powerful enemy out of her? However, Sylvia was a little less inclined to feel like she owed Caitlin particular help on the front of dating given how she had let Sylvia down. “They’re all quite quiet, pleasant sorts of girls,” she said, meaning the three she had named. No one would count Topaz under that description. What she essentially meant by that was rather wishy washy but at least not inclined to talk so much that Nate would find them annoying. They could girl chatter well enough and she even liked doing so with them, but men didn’t like women who prattled on too much.

“I don’t think you need to worry so much about what everyone thinks of last year. At least, not to cut down your list. I can feel out how likely they are to say yes, and then - well, if one of them does that clearly means she isn’t too worried about it. Is Katerina anything more than a political choice?” she asked.

13 Sylvia Mordue Absolutely. You're wonderful 1413 0 5

Nathaniel Mordue

December 31, 2019 4:43 PM

You're more wonderful. by Nathaniel Mordue

Katerina, Allegra, and Caitlin were all 'perfectly reasonable' choices. Her tone seemed almost too neutral, but he thought that if Sylvia really did have a preference, she would say so. He might ask, though, depending how the rest of this conversation went. If he couldn't figure out what she wanted from him on his own. Which was, he had to admit, probably going to be the case.

She more or less admitted one thing she was after, though, which was a pleasant surprise. The girl would owe them a favor. Interesting. Also possibly proof that the caffeine was working. He downed the rest of his coffee in one go and started pouring up a third cup. Maybe he could think clearly, at least for a little while.

"She doesn't talk much in the common room," he said when asked if he had any further thoughts on Katerina. "She mostly sits and sews things. And I doubt she'd expect me to marry her," he added, figuring he could admit that he saw this as rather a positive thing to Sylvia, anyway. "I wish we could just...dance and that be the end of it," he grumbled. "Like at a party at home." Though parties at home were the last thing he wanted to think about, given what had happened last time...his pulse tried to increase again, his collar feeling too tight all of a sudden.

No. It's over. It's okay. I'm okay. It's not going to happen again. I will not allow it to happen again....

"But if wishes were fishes," he managed to continue, his tone only slightly off. He cleared his throat. "Is there a particular favor you want from one of them?" he asked. "Or who might be in a better position than the others to do one?" he amended, thinking of the relative positions of her friends, insofar as he knew and could currently remember them. "I know Caitlin's connected to the Headmaster now, but the Pierces are...unstable, all the time," he said. "And she's not as pre - " he flushed and cut himself off. "Sorry. I don't...mean anything. I just...the other two are...prettier, I guess. But I don't mean anything by that. I wouldn't...I don't think about that stuff." Except that he obviously did, since he had just offered an opinion on the relative looks of the three years. He didn't want to think of those things, though. At all. "Anyway. Do you remember how Allegra's...related to everyone else? I can never keep all that straight," he said, hoping to change the subject back to politics.

16 Nathaniel Mordue You're more wonderful. 1412 0 5

Sylvia Mordue

January 01, 2020 6:36 AM

Thank you, darling by Sylvia Mordue

“I was wondering if that might not be better myself,” Sylvia agreed when Nate said it would be so much easier if it was like a party at home. She reached across the table and gave his hand a little squeeze and a smile, one that said how happy she was to find them on the same page again. “I can try to arrange that,” she stated simply, as if it was the most logical thing in the world that the entire thing was down to her. “I mean, I can put the idea out with the girls that we all just treat it that way. I don’t see why anyone should object, given that it’s how we do things at home. Unless anyone’s dying to get hold of anyone else, but there’d be nothing to stop two people spending more time together if it was what they wanted. Like they do at home,” she summarised. “Especially now that I know that you don’t want that,” she added, sure that Nate would understand her meaning there - they looked after their own first, and what Nate wanted for the ball would trump whatever was convenient or pleasing to others.

She watched with some concern as Nate took yet more coffee, wondering whether he wasn’t sleeping. She considered saying something but, apart from that, everything about this conversation was just so nice. So normal. They were running smoothly again down parallel tracks of thought, the way they were supposed to. She deliberately directed her attention back to his face and ignored the issue. For now.

“If we just do it as dances, it’s less likely to count as a favour with anyone except Caitlin, who really needs it. But that needn’t be the primary concern. And it’s quite alright to think a girl pretty, Nate. I’d be a bit worried about you if you didn’t,” she pointed out, as he seemed embarrassed at thinking something so superficial. It was a poor reason to choose a wife, certainly. One had to look for more than looks. But for a dance partner or a date for the evening, it didn’t hurt to like the face of the person you were standing opposite. “Allegra’s another of Headmaster Brockert’s grandchildren. There’s the vowel set and the gemstones,” she reminded him, her tone conveying a light degree of distaste. Thematically naming one’s children seemed rather odd. “Though E only arrived this year - Esme, she’s in our house,” she informed him. The pattern was substantially less noticeable without all of them around, but it was rather obvious when you read their family tree, especially given some of the odd names they’d resorted to in order to make the idea work.

13 Sylvia Mordue Thank you, darling 1413 0 5

Nathaniel Mordue

January 02, 2020 1:18 PM

Any time. by Nathaniel Mordue

Nathaniel returned the hand squeeze, sharing - despite everything - at least the shadow of Sylvia's happiness about being on the same page. It was a relief to have something as - well - normal as just falling into step with her - this time without even knowing that was what she thought before he said it! - happen, but it was also more than that, now, after this summer. It was a sign, however small, that maybe he was more okay than he sometimes felt.

Sylvia wasn't ill. Sylvia hadn't spent her entire summer enduring those horrific twice-weekly sessions. Sylvia hadn't overheard one adult telling another that she ought to be medicated as well as scrutinized. Sylvia wasn't still expected to fill in all these 'charts' and read these books, under threat of having to see a therapist while she was here as well. And yet, here Sylvia was, saying she thought the same thing that Nathaniel - who was ill, whose therapist had told his uncle she thought he ought to be medicated, who did have to still do all those other things too - thought. At least one of his thoughts was the same as a sane person's, the same as that of someone who wasn't broken and pathetic and inept. It was a small thing, but - well, at one point, it had still been a bit beyond him, he thought. And now, it seemed, it wasn't.

He was further relieved to hear her so casually dismiss the fact that he had opinions on the relative attractiveness of her friends. He couldn't help but think it was wrong to even think about a girl as anything other than a potential connection - and then only if he was forced; he couldn't trust himself with a family, not after everything, it was just not worth the risk that something horrible would happen, especially now that an actual professional had agreed that his mind was not right - and it felt, well, weird to say it to Sylvia, but at least she didn't seem to think it meant anything. Wasn't recoiling in disgust, or looking like she thought he might be anything like his parents....

Gemstones and vowels. If Nathaniel had ever thought it odd that Uncle Alexander and Aunt Avery, sharing an initial themselves, had also given their children a shared first initial, he supposed it had been before he noticed those patterns. He had known the gemstones were the headmaster's granddaughters, but wasn't sure he had even noticed the vowels...Allegra and Esme were, after all, perfectly ordinary names. There were also plenty of ordinary enough names that went with I and O, but he pitied U and sometimes Y....

"Your House," he corrected her when she said that Esme was in 'our House.' He pointed to the yellow patch on the front of his robes. "Still a Teppenpaw, I'm afraid," he said, with a twinge of guilt over actually being relieved about that. "But yes. Good to know. It's easier to keep track thinking of them like that," he acknowledged, and then looked at her.

"What about you?" he asked. "I doubt I can influence anyone very much, but...is there anyone you actually want to dance with?" he asked, hoping against hope that the answer was 'no.' He did not want to think about Sylvia like that, or about the high probability that she would leave him for some man in a few years, too. It would, he supposed, make some things easier, but he still did not expect this to substantially reduce the desire to kill the man in question once that individual became more than a hypothetical. He really was racking up quite the list of men he'd like to kill, now that he thought about it, even if one of them could easily already be dead for all he knew and another didn't exist yet. He should probably not tell Dr. Greene about that, though, no matter how she tried to convince him to go into more detail about how angry he was.

16 Nathaniel Mordue Any time. 1412 0 5