On Fear on Defense Against the Dark Arts

Heinrich Hexenmeister

March 14, 2019 12:35 PM

On Fear by Heinrich Hexenmeister

It was approaching midterm and Heinrich was a wreck. He hadn’t slept a full night in weeks. This essay about fear wasn’t helping any. He had very relevant personal experience to provide and he couldn’t use it, not without revealing entirely too much to Professor Hawthorne.

He crossed his arms over the blank parchment and laid his head down on them with a quiet (he was in the library) groan. Was this it? Was this essay the means by which he betrayed the Hexenmeister secret to Sonora? They were now into December so it couldn’t be much longer before he started the rumor. In truth, he had half-expected it to already be well known by now.

With a sigh of resignation, he sat up again and picked up his quill.

Fear is a powerful Emotion, he began writing. His written English was more confident than his spoken English, as he had more time to think about how to arrange the words and look up grammar and spelling when necessary. So it was slow going, but the results were usually quite well received when he showed them to Professor Skies in the academic support group. She usually just needed to remind him that nouns were not capitalized in English, but Heinrich did not like this rule and felt it lessened understandability rather than helped it, so it was a German habit that remained unbroken in most of his written work.

Many dark Creatures draw energy from it, including Boggarts and Dementors. Other Creatures use it to weaken their Prey by frightening them and making them react without thinking clearly. Some example Reactions to extreme Fear can include fainting, Paralysis, and blind Flight, all of which often benefit the Attacker. Some dark Wizards create Fear in others to motivate them to do Things they would not do otherwise.

Heinrich took a deep breath. That was all fine and generic. Nobody could read anything into any of that. Unfortunately, the next part was where it would get dicey.

The question they were meant to be answering was ‘What is fear? How can it be used against you, and how can you reduce its effects in your life?’

A Person’s Fear can be used against them in any of these Ways. Fear can take many Forms. It can be mild like minor Nervousness, or very severe like total mental Shutdown. It can be a quick passing Moment of Panic or a lifelong Anxiety. It can be caused by Something obvious like a dangerous Creature or Something abstract like other People finding out a Secret.

So far still good. Nothing too personal yet. But that last part of the question wasn’t answered yet. He put aside the essay as it stood so far and took out a second sheet to draft the tricky part. It only being a first draft, he wrote it honestly - and in German, so even if it fell into the wrong hands, only the people who already knew the secret could comprehend what it said:

It is the fear of a secret being revealed that most impacts my life. I live in constant anxiety that someone will find out what I don’t want them to know. There are now three of us at Sonora in possession of this secret, and it is a well known fact that secrets do not survive this many keepers. As I am the only one who speaks English well enough to share it, I am even more fearful I will be the one who shatters the secrecy.

This secret has cost me sleep and friends. I stay awake at night imagining scenarios where everyone finds out. I wake up from nightmares featuring even more unlikely reveals. I am also afraid to talk to anyone, to get too close, because they might find out, I might say the wrong thing, or they might ask the wrong question. I don’t like living like this. I would like to stop being so scared all the time. But the only thing I can think of to reduce its power is to face it, to tell somebody, and that is exactly what has been scaring me for almost three years. And you, Professor Hawthorne, are almost the last person I’d want to know this secret, because you will understand the implications even more than most.

However, this is a fear that could easily be used against me. I am sure I reek of fear every day. I would be an easy target for both boggarts and blackmail as I am now. I am lucky neither have found me.

It would be far better to share the secret on my own terms. To have as much trust as possible with the person who finds out first. To have control of the situation, to do it on my terms, to have someone help me, to share the burden of my fear.

I trust you, Professor Hawthorne, to help me figure out what to do next.

Both of my parents are serving life sentences in a German prison for being Dark Wizards.

Heinrich put the quill down and sat back in his seat, his heart racing at the admission, even if there was almost no chance anybody else - including its intended recipient -could even read it in its current form.

But as terrified as he felt, he also felt resolved. Calmer. Like maybe there was a way out of this after all.

He translated it as clearly as he could into English at the end of his essay. He wrapped his arm around the page as he did so, hunched over, as if wary of cheaters copying him, even though nobody was nearby.

When he was done, he gave the ink a little bit to dry, then folded the parchment into thirds, hiding all of the words. He crumpled his draft and shoved it into his bag for a later burning. Then he stood up, and walked out, going directly to the DADA professor’s office. He knocked then entered upon being invited to do so. He handed her the folded paper. “My essay,” he told her. “It is secret. Not for class. Read.” His grammar suffered from his distress.

He was terrified and doubtless looked it. He felt pale. He was sweating. His breath was short.

But this had to be done. And he had spent months preparing for this, knowing the secret would not last until midterm. Knowing he was the one who would spill it.

He just hadn’t expected it would be a homework assignment that did it.

He better get an O for this.

OOC: Essay question approved by Tabitha Hawthorne’s author.

1 Heinrich Hexenmeister On Fear 1414 Heinrich Hexenmeister 1 5

Professor Hawthorne

March 24, 2019 9:35 AM

Dealing with fear is my job. by Professor Hawthorne

As a teacher, Tabitha was used to receiving students in her office when they had questions or issues with their assigned homework and needed clarification on the material that had been taught in class. While she was used to it, it wasn't the most common of occurrences and she couldn't always help the mild surprise that passed through her whenever there was an unexpected knock at her door. She took a moment to put down her quill and carefully move the stack of marking she'd been ploughing through over to one side of her desk, freeing up some space before inviting her visitor in.

She was surprised to see that it was Heinrich Hexenmeister. He was, in her opinion, a good student and it was only his command of the English language that prevented him from being in the top bunch of students in her class and that was something that would come with time. He was a fairly decent spellcaster but Tabitha was aware that he struggled with the Latin words which in turn would result in a poorer spell being cast. Again, something that would come with time and practice. He was absolutely no troublemaker and hard-working, very much so. Tabitha sometimes wondered if he needed to be told to relax.

"Mr. Hexenmeister," she addressed him as he approached her desk. "What can I do for you?"

It was very quickly apparent that this wasn't going to be a standard question answering session with a student as her eyes took in his clearly agitated state and the paleness of his face and she could see sweat beading at his hairline. She took the piece of folded parchment he offered, raising a curious eyebrow. This was either going to be very, very bad or it was a very elaborate and very well-played prank. Knowing what she did of the nervous boy in front of her, Tabitha doubted that he had a hand in any kind of mischief.

"Have a seat, Mr. Hexenmeister," she murmured, though this was with a more distracted tone of voice as she unfolded his essay and began to read.

For the first few lines, she wasn't sure what the problem was. He had summed up fear in a nutshell and she was impressed that he seemed to have managed to get his ideas and thoughts across so clearly.

It is a fear of a secret being revealed that most impacts my life.

She glanced up at this point, her eyes slightly narrowed. Heinrich Hexenmeister was a good kid. What was written on this parchment had shifted from homework essay to the tone of a confession. She had a feeling that the teenager wouldn't even steal a cookie out of an open tin so this was completely unexpected. She continued reading.

This secret has cost me sleep and friends...

...wake up from nightmares...

...afraid to talk to anyone...

....you, Professor Hawthorne, are almost the last person I’d want to know this secret, because you will understand the implications even more than most...

...I trust you, Professor Hawthorne...

...Both of my parents are serving life sentences in a German prison for being Dark Wizards.

Unprofessionally, Tabitha's first thought involved searching out the bottle of firewhiskey she kept in her chambers and offering the student opposite her a glass. Given that he was underage and day-drinking was definitely not something to be encouraged, she settled for waving her wand at her teapot and summoned two accompanying cups. Tabitha was British. Anything hard-hitting required tea.

She placed Heinrich's essay on her desk in front of her, the very last sentence seeming to glare at her. Her eyes flickered from both the parchment to Heinrich and then back again before she decided that she had probably better say something.

"Are you a dark wizard, Mr. Hexenmeister?"

20 Professor Hawthorne Dealing with fear is my job. 1417 Professor Hawthorne 0 5

Heinrich

March 24, 2019 10:53 AM

Then I guess I've come to the right place by Heinrich

Heinrich sat down on the very edge of the chair he was invited to use. He was far too nervous to actually sit. As she opened the essay and began to read, even just perching there was almost too much. He wanted to run. Hide. Disappear.

But he stayed where he was, nervously twisting his fingers together and biting his lip. He could tell when she got past the opening that had just been nothing more remarkable than a standard essay. He held his breath, and tensed more. After a little while, he had to breath out a little and take in more air, but he did it shallowly.

Then she finished and said nothing. He fidgeted. She summoned tea. His hand shook and he reached for it, but it was good to hold onto something, even if his stomach was rebelling at the idea of actually consuming anything right now. So he just lifted it to his mouth, breathed in the steam, and pretended to sip at it.

Finally, she said something, though it wasn't what he'd been expecting at all.

"Nein!" he denied hotly, deeply offended. This was exactly why he didn't want people knowing about his parents. The fear that people would think he was just like them. "Naturally not!"

OOC: 'Natürlich nicht' is German for 'of course not' - Heinrich is agitated and going for the easiest English translation for him rather than the most common English usage.

1 Heinrich Then I guess I've come to the right place 1414 Heinrich 0 5