Jamie Park
July 24, 2015 7:21 AM
Shove it, Shinohara by Jamie Park
Shino had given him a choice when he had (unbelievably and humiliatingly) lost the bet at the Renaissance Faire; teach her some choice American slang or wear one of her flowery robe things to the Opening Feast. It had seemed an easy choice at the time - one of those was actively fun, whilst the other was just a humiliation. He hadn’t counted on the fact that it would be a weekly reminder of the fact he’d lost, which rather nettled him. Still, a chance to unleash some bad-ass phrases, and turn Shino into his potty-mouthed mini-me - and the fact that he hadn’t had to wear a goddamn dress - rather made up for it.
“Hey,” he greeted, taking his seat by her. The lessons had never been particularly formal, although they’d fallen into a bit of a routine, tending to have dinner and a vulgar exchange of phrases at least once a week, on a day that didn’t hold a Quidditch practise for either of them.
“You can shove it,” he informed her. His preferred pedagogical method was to dive straight in, greeting Shino with the phrase, or dropping it into their conversation at the appropriate point. “This week’s lesson; shove it,” he grinned, “It’s short for ‘shove it up your ass,’” he explained, “And is used to refer to something you don’t want to do. Like, ‘Skies can take her homework assignment and shove it,’” he explained. Almost every week, he tried and failed to seem serious about the whole thing, usually breaking into a broad grin whenever he gave his examples. He almost wished he knew some posh teachery words to do with grammar, so that he could properly play the role of the stuffy professor whilst using these phrases, but he didn’t, and wasn’t going to put that much effort in. Besides which, coming up with examples using life at Sonora good enough fun to make up for that.
“As per usual, for homework, I expect you to find a suitable occasion in which to loudly and publically use this, addressing someone other than me,” he thought that he had twisted Shino’s little punishment rather nicely. It gave him an almost constant opportunity to dare her and land her in trouble. He’d been too busy feeling smug about this to question why Shino would have wanted to learn such phrases, were it not to deploy them and enjoy the reactions they garnered. As far as he was concerned, it was a way in which he’d turned this around so that he, as usual, was coming out on top.
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Shove it, Shinohara
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