Jackson Pollock has nothing on me. [Tag: Chloe]
by Ava Fletcher
That Saturday, Ava woke up feeling particularly mad. Yet another week had gone by without correspondence with her mother, another week of waiting for post and not getting any. Though the sixteen year old should have been used to this by now, Charlotte's gesture to taking Ava with her on her travels a couple summers ago had refreshed the belief in Ava that Charlotte did want to be a part of her life. After breakfast, Ava went back to her room to get her studying things together and get some of her homework done but she found herself unable to focus. She sat at her desk, staring at the blank parchments in front of her, tapping her quill against the stack of books that sat to her right. She hated the feeling of not being able to focus, truly hated it!
She looked around her room, eyes finally falling on some water balloons that had been sitting in her trunk for who knew how long as she couldn't ever remember putting them in there but they always, somehow, inevitably ended up wedged somewhere in her dorm by the end of the year when it was time for her to pack up and go back to Port Townsend. A really good idea formed in Ava's head, and she gleefully changed into a painting smock and shorts, ideal for the warm weather the school had been experiencing, and gathered the water balloons and some hair ties and headed for the MARS room.
Thankfully when she got there, the art room was empty and she went inside happily, closing the door firmly behind her. The paintings on the wall hushed as she set her face determinedly and began to set up her canvas. Ask and you shall receive, she thought as a large canvas spread itself out for her, lining a wall, paint covers throwing themselves over the floor and remaining spaces. Meanwhile, Ava went over to the area of the room that held the paint, mixing colors in the little water balloons until one of the packages of 150 water balloons had been filled with paint and enough water to allow the paint to spread and smear as it hit the canvas.
Ava picked up the first balloon, weighing it in her hand experimentally. "I shall name you Charlotte," she said pinching it and bouncing it up and down a little bit like a yo-yo. And then she wound up and threw the balloon as hard as she could against the opposite wall. The blue, white, and purple paint that had been swirling inside the balloon created a nicely sized splotch on the previously empty canvas and the water trickled down the wall, carrying paint with it as it went. Ava laughed and picked up another one, hurling that one as hard as she could. Balloon after balloon she threw, gasping for breath as she stood back and looked at her perfect masterpiece, a delightful mess of every color paint the art room had to offer.
Some of the paintings on the other walls cheered her on while others tsked their disapproval and Ava smiled rather sardonically at them as she went to fill up the other package. "I need music," she said to the paintings who were finding this to be great fun as the room had transfigured paper into clear coverings to protect its' inhabitants. "Can any of you play me music?" A rather scraggly looking wizard disappeared and returned with an annoyed witch and a gramophone which began to play lively swing music.
Ava was getting to the end of the second package when she just barely heard the door open, the only thing alerting her to the action, the previously annoyed witch who was now dancing with the wizard, slowly stop twirling to greet the new comer. Ava whipped around, her loose braid making red streaks on the canvas covered wall and grinned sheepishly. "Hey," she said, raising a purple hand. Her paint smock, an old button-down of her father's was hanging off her shoulder, the ends of it reaching just past the end of her now paint-stained cut-offs, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and every inch of her exposed skin covered in dried and wet paint. A bead of sweat trickled down from the bandanna that had been tied around her head like a makeshift headband and the only thing Ava could think to say next was; "want to join me?"
10Ava FletcherJackson Pollock has nothing on me. [Tag: Chloe]258Ava Fletcher15
It had been a long week at Sonora thanks to the Advance courses. It hadn’t been a bad week at all, just long. Chloe loved catching up with Ji-Eun after having the summer that she had. Ji-Eun felt like a rush of normalcy to Chloe, which is strange considering how close she was with her family. But after the summer of issues with her mother and then a remaining summer of making up her lies to her family on top of telling them that she was okay had really worn her down. It probably didn’t help that she was still lying to them.
Although she hadn’t seen her mother since the incident, Chloe lied every time she told them that she was fine. She was sure that her family knew that she wasn’t being honest with them about it, but she couldn’t help but say it. She didn’t want to talk about it with them. She just couldn’t. She loved her family and seeing their faces whenever she mentioned her mother just bothered her so much. Now she was just in the habit of saying it.
But how could she be okay? She had spent her entire life imagining the woman who gave birth to her. She thought of whether or not she was alive, if she was happy, if she had a family of her own, did she ever think about her, if they met how they would have gotten along. Her mind had always raced with so many thoughts and ideas when it came to her mother. And then it was all shattered. So quickly, it was just… gone. And in the worst possible way too. Chloe felt like her mother had died that day. She nearly had literally, but to Chloe, she died figuratively. She was just nothingness now and it burned her so much that she felt like a part of her had cracked.
Instead of crying about it though, Chloe had started exercising. By the end of summer, Chloe had lost her baby fat and some additional pounds on top of that. At sixteen, she felt like she looked like the Muggle girls that walked around their neighborhood. She started wearing tighter clothes, showing her midriff more, making sure her hair and makeup looked nice. She loved the looks that the local boys gave to her and it helped push down the negative thoughts.
She wanted to continue that feeling, so she decided to use the Sports room as a place for her to work out in. Dressed in her sports bra with a loosely fitted midriff crop top over it and black yoga pants, with her long blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, Chloe had made her way to the MARS room and had spent the better part of an hour riding a stationary bike that was in the room as she had hoped.
Now done with the work out feeling gross but also energized, Chloe left her MARS room with the intention of heading back to her dorm room and getting cleaned up, but sounds from another room caught her attention.
Opening up the door to the music room, Chloe expected to see shome drawing on a pad or painting on a eisel. What she saw, however, left her speechless. There was Ava covered in paint with a wall to floor canvas, also covered in various colors of paint. “Uh…” Chloe began, entering the room slowly. “Merlin, Ava, it’s like a rainbow threw up in here.” Chloe joked, as she laughed. “What’re you doing?” Chloe thought Ava looked like she was having a good time, but Chloe was not artist and hardly dressed for such an event.
Ava grinned. "Rainbows are pretty," she replied good-naturedly before picking up another balloon and throwing it at a spot on the wall that she thought looked too clean. "Anger management therapy, want to give it a try?" Though Chloe hadn't yet done anything to suggest to Ava that she was in a bad mood, Ava's childish paint throwing fit and the timely appearance of her friend reminded her other something Emery had said to her at the Opening Feast about talking to Chloe about mother problems.
She wondered what it was that Chloe did to cope with whatever it was that had happened between her and her mother. She didn't think her friend was an artist, but Ava couldn't come up with a better way to express her anger other than acting out against a canvas. She supposed that if she wasn't still so dead-set in following her mother's footsteps she might have let the studying fall to the side a bit and consider art. It made her angry that even after being ignored for the better part of what Ava could remember she still wanted to be like the polished, adventurous witch her mother appeared to be, but such was life.
"I name each balloon, see," she explained as she weight a couple balloons back and forth in her hand, trying to decide which one it was that she wanted to use next. "It's kind of like a voodoo doll but more expressive and I get something pretty to look at when I'm done. That part," she continued, gesturing to the larger portion of the canvas, "is named stupid mothers. And that corner there is named stupid boys."
She stepped back, proud of her work and threw the pink-on-the-outside-orange-on-the-inside in the small blank area that was between the two parts. "And that part there is now, summer sucks." Ava raised a hand to wipe her forehead and tuck some hair away, leaving an orange streak behind. "If you want to try I'm sure we can find Charlie to help clean your clothes after. He offered to teach me some spells to get paint out and I'm sure tergeo would work for most of it--I used tempera, not oil based paint today so even just throwing this in the wash would likely be enough!"
“Er…” Chloe mumbled, giving the mess of the room a look. Normally, Chloe didn’t mind getting dirty or looking a fool. Or, at least, she used to not care about those things. Back when she wore boy’s clothes and hats that her father used to buy for her. Being raised by a single dad, it was difficult for him to know what sort of things little girls wore. Chloe never minded though. She didn’t start wearing girl items of clothing until Kiva became her father’s girlfriend and they went on shopping trips together.
Now, at age sixteen, Chloe was acutely aware of how she looked. Most males enjoyed blonde haired, blue eyed girls with a decent sized chest and long legs. Chloe had tried very hard to fall into the category that people liked. She didn’t know why it was so necessary for her piece of mind, but it was. She wanted to be noticed. She was tired of being background noise for everyone. Why was that so bad? Why was she always the one left behind? Everyone around her was finding someone who appreciated them while she was just left feeling empty and alone. She didn’t know why that was. What was so wrong with her that not even her biological mother could stand her presence long enough…
Chloe closed her eyes and took a breath. She was dwelling again and feeling sorry for herself. That just wouldn’t do. She couldn’t allow herself to spin down that emotional bullshit that everyone expected her to do. She opened her eyes again and focused in on Ava while she spoke about her current project. It was apparently that Ava was raging over her own problems too, eerily similar (at least in title) to Chloe’s own issues.
“These are just workout clothes and whoever does our laundry at the school has always done a good job of getting out any stains, so I don’t think the paint will be much of an issue for me.” Chloe commented. She wasn’t sure if it was the prairie elves that did the laundry or some other magical thing, but she was always grateful for their work. “But, it doesn’t surprise me that Charlie would know a trick or too.” Chloe added with a smile. It was a shame is was gay, he was adorable.
Chloe took the balloon from Ava and weighed it in her hands for a moment while contemplating whether or not she should interfere with Ava’s art work and therapy session. “So, you had a rough summer I take it?” Chloe inquired. “Can I ask about the stupid boys? I mean, surely Emery hasn’t gotten ballsy with you this late in the game, right? So, if not him, what boy upset you?” The boy felt like a better started topic than the one about mothers. At least, for Chloe. She was limited on her experience with boys, but it was far more pleasant than the one with her mother. “And what did he do?”
Ava beamed when Chloe accepted the balloon. She liked hanging out with Chloe as Chloe had been the first girl to really make her feel accepted. Though, as Chloe’s fingers skimmed her own, Ava turned away quickly to grab another balloon, glad the pink and orange paint on her face hide the blush that was likely springing up. There was a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach which she dealt with by hurling a green-on-the-outside balloon at the wall again. After the satisfying purple splat it made on the wall that reminded Ava of the blackberry pie in the window of her favorite bakery, she turned back to Chloe, making sure to keep her eyes at her friend’s face. It would do no good letting them wander, she realized, to let her explore the tingling that was spread through her body whenever Chloe smiled.
“Emery??” Ava asked, the shock clear on her face. She frowned. What Emery had to be ballsy about, she didn't know and on top of that, Emery hadn’t behaved in an ungentlemanly manner or insinuated that he wanted to so far as she could remember. Though the idea of him acting as Demetre had put a weird shiver down her spine despite her stance on kissing. “No, that bit is about that devil child,” she muttered. Though speaking of which… “Although, on that note, you ought to tell Emery he shouldn’t be running around kissing girls as experiments. I don’t think many girls tend to like being man-handled like that.” She paused, before clarifying. “At least, I don’t like being man-handled like that.”
She rolled her shoulders back, letting them crack, before moving around a bit to see if the feeling from thinking about kissing Emery was gone. No such luck, so she repressed any tingling bit about either sibling and concentrated on the horrid way Demetre had made her feel when he’d surprised her in front of the peanuts. Besides, kissing boys (or anyone, for that matter) wasn’t what Ava wanted to think about. Just the image of Demetre’s red face and the feel of his dry, rubbery lips was enough to make Ava want to run screaming to her grandfather, to bury her face in his coat and be five again and sitting on his lap, listening to him read to her while they waited for the rain to pass and for her parents to come home.
“Boys are the last thing on my mind anyway,” Ava finally settled with. “I don’t have the time to think about having a romance right now. I have RATs to think about, and Healers exams after that, and…” She trailed off, raising a hand to press against her forehead. “Just thinking about all this is giving me a headache.” She laughed. “I hate growing up, it kind of sucks. Emery and I were talking about that the other day,” she said, remembering the nice conversation they had had on the Pitch, blushing slightly at the recollection that he had held her hand all the way back to school and then dropped it as they got closer. “Besides, if I was still young enough, then I wouldn’t know the things I know now.” I would still have Daddy around too, she thought in her head. And perhaps mother would have stuck around.
Ava bent down and selected the next balloon, not caring which one. “But none of that really matters anymore, right?” She gripped the balloon so tightly it broke in her hand and the blue paint dripped down her arm, covering her fingers. Grown-ups had to deal with things like unwanted spawns of satan and absentee mothers, they had to think about their future careers, and planning out the rest of their lives. And Ava didn’t really want to be a grown-up any longer.
By the look on Ava’s face and the questioning way she said his name, it definitely had not been Emery that had upset her so much. Of course, Ava could have been equally as mad at Emery for not making a move on her, but that was probably a whole other matter that wasn’t what Ava was focusing on at the moment. Chloe really did hope that Emery stepped up his game and go for the girl before it was too late, but knowing her brother, that was only wishful thinking on her part. Such a shame too because she thought that Ava and Emery would make an adorable couple. If she were being equally as truthful with all of it, she’d say that they would look good with just about anyone as her brother was charming in his dorkable way and Ava was rather pretty. But Chloe would admit that to no one because she wanted the two of them together.
The Devil Child was the ‘Other’ Demetre that Ava had told her about. The weirdo bully that came around where Ava lived every few summers. He reminder her of some of the local boys from back home. Which was, really, every boy she had ever known except for a few exceptions like Emery and Emrys (and Malcolm, in her opinion). Perhaps Sonora boys were just different than the general population.
“Wait, what about Emery?” Chloe asked, rather surprised by the news. “What girl has Emery been manhandling and not telling me about?” She knew there were certain things that male/female siblings didn’t tell each other about, but she was certain Emery would have mentioned a girl other then Ava that he had been interested in enough to make a pass at, let alone kiss. “Are you sure it was Emery and not one of his friends?” Chloe asked. “His friends are terrible people back home.” Chloe commented with a shake of her head. “I just can’t see Emery manhandling everyone without consent and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t kissed anyone yet. Or, hasn’t told me if he has, and he would totally tell me that…” She was sure of it. She would have told him if she had, right? Now she was confused and unsure of herself.
It was clear that Ava was still raging as she went on about having to grow up and not having time for romance and about all these things that she had to do. It was a little exhausting, no wonder she was so angry. In the end, her rage made a balloon pop in her hand. The pop startled Chloe, but she found a painter’s rag in the corner and held it out for Ava. “The excess paint on your hand might make it harder to throw the balloons.” Chloe commented with a sweet supportive smile.
“I would love a romance.” Chloe admitted. “Someone to notice me and like me. Hold me and kiss me. Make me laugh…” Chloe was staring at the canvas with a dreamy look in her eyes while she thought about it. “But everyone at this school seems already set with someone and there’s no room for me. Like, I’m literally the seventh wheel with all you guys here.” Chloe gave a laugh, but her face didn’t light up as it normally did. She threw the balloon at the wall and watched the splatter of a pink hue make a mark on the canvas. “Huh, it really is a little satisfying.”
She was silent for a moment before turning to Ava. “You know that it’s okay to still be a kid right now, right?” Chloe said. “We don’t need to change the world or make a statement right now. If you keep feeling like you have to get all that done, you’ll implode.” Chloe picked up another balloon and threw it. This time green made an entrance. “I used to think that if I had all the answers life would be so much easier, but I was wrong. It just makes you feel empty and even more alone than before. I just want to go back to being a kid for a little while. Oblivious and happy.” This version of Chloe that was standing in front of Ava was not the same one that had walked into the room. This one was the one she had been struggling to hide since the incident. This one was sad and hollow. A stranger in the mirror.
“What, uh, what happened with your mom? She seems like the biggest part of your sucky summer.” Chloe said, trying to swallow down that other Chloe once again.
Ava shrugged. She had asked Emery a pretty direct question, and she didn’t think that there was anyway he could have misunderstood. He’d acted pretty straightforward when he’d answered, too, and she told this to Chloe. “I don’t know about his friends,” she said. “He never said anything about them, really, I’m pretty sure he was talking about himself. He said it was experimental, just to see.” Ava frowned. If someone like Emery could do that, then who knew whatever weird, twisted reasoning was in Demetre’s head. Granted, Chloe had just admitted that Emery had some ‘terrible’ friends back home. Ava wondered if the Emery who she knew was even the real Emery. Though Sonora-Emery was the perfect friend, non-Sonora-Emery was starting to sound more and more like some of the boys from Port Townsend. She accepted the rag from Chloe and wiped her hand, ducking her head because the way Chloe smiled at her made her heart skip a beat. What was this mess that she was turning into? Ava tossed the rag over into the corner and tried to pay attention to what Chloe was saying.
So, Chloe felt like a seventh wheel too, then. Ava gave a small laugh at that—not a condescending one, more one that showed comradeship and was mainly done to cover up the sinking feeling Ava felt when Chloe described wanting to be held and kissed by someone—likely a boy Ava though derisively. “That’s funny,” she said, a sad smile on her face. “I’m sorry you feel that way—I tend to feel like a fifth wheel, myself because you’ve got Ji-Eun and Emrys and Emery have each other, friendship wise and…” she trailed off but then shook her head. “Well, that doesn’t really matter anyway because relationships are so not on my radar so it doesn’t even matter if you all paired off. I’ll probably end up being the old cat lady friend you all visit because you’ve moved on with your lives and feel sorry for me.” Ideas of Emrys marrying Charlotte were quickly followed by Emery with his mystery girl and the fenced house, the latter of which caused Ava to feel rather sick. “At least Emery said he would make house calls if one of my cats were dying…” she sighed rather melodramatically.
Empty and alone. Ava mused on this for a few moments. She could see what Chloe was getting at, and she thought about the wisdom her friend was imparting. The words didn’t seem particularly Chloe-like to her and Ava wondered what it was that had made her friend take on this view of life. The words Chloe was saying perfectly described how Ava was feeling at the moment. She let the words sit there for a little while before answering Chloe’s question about her mother. It was a tough question to answer, one that went back several years and whose beginning she didn’t know how much she wanted to impart just yet. Her father’s death was a touchy one, something that though had been acknowledged, was also not acknowledged in that her grandfather was always too upset over it to discuss it in detail and her mother refused to answer any question Ava had until she realized it was fruitless to maintain both a relationship with her mother and find out the details of his death. In the end, she had neither.
“It’s complicated,” Ava finally said as she mulled over the right words to describe the odd situation she was constantly finding herself in. “After my dad died, things with her just were never really the same. She was always gone for work. I mean, she’d try to make it home to see me on my birthday and she’d usually remember to take me shopping for school stuff at the end of the summer, but…I don’t know…I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, you know? Because stuff like this has been happening since I was five…” Ava paused. So far, she had only said things that she’d previously shared before, with Emrys and Emery in the common room on her dad’s birthday. And Papa, of course, knew this as he had always been the one to pick up the pieces when Charlotte promised to come home for Ava’s birthday and then stayed at work instead. However, she had never expressed directly to anyone how she specifically felt about the situation.
“After last summer, though, I thought things were different, she had noticed I was interested in Healing and she took me with her, it was supposed to be this great moment where she realized that she did want me around but…” Ava frowned, clenching her teeth together, trying to keep herself from having a total breakdown. “Then she just went back to her usual things, as though nothing had changed, like that trip had never happened, like we had never bonded. I was just this stranger all over again and I just can’t take it any longer.” She threw the balloon she had been fiddling with in her hands against the wall, the strongest throw she’d made thus far. “That’s a pretty color,” she observed monotonously as she watched the orange from her balloon mix with some of the still-wet pink that the paint had hit when it made contact with the canvas.
“And anyway,” she continued. “It’s not even like I can be mad at her. She’s off saving the world, healing all these people with all kinds of horrible diseases in the less fortunate areas of the world, and I’m not even sick or starving so then I feel like a completely horrible person when I feel jealous over the attention she gives strangers over me—and is that…is that even right to demand her attention?” Ava slumped down and sat with her back against the wall, facing the canvas, watching the paint drip down. “I don’t know,” she she answered her own question, her face blank.
Chloe found it really difficult to believe that her brother had managed to get some local girl to hang out with him long enough to actually agree to any sort of kissing. Sure there were girls in the neighborhood who were sketchy and probably relatively easy, but Emery knew better than to get involved in them. They were the kind of girls that caused trouble. Chloe wasn’t really fond of the boys back home because they seemed so immature, but even they kept away from those girls. Who exactly was Emery spending time with? There was just no way. She refused to believe it. Chloe made a mental note to talk to her brother about this so called girl and the kiss of experimentation that he told Ava about. “I still don’t believe. Emery’s too nice to do things like that. His friend walk all over him.” Chloe commented, mostly to herself.
It drove Chloe nuts that Ava couldn’t see what was right in front of her face. Emery would have dropped everything to spend time with Ava. Emrys would have easily understood this considering he lived and breathed for Charlotte. Ji-Eun might be spending more of her time with Arnold this year depending on if the girl figured out what she wanted. This left Chloe on her own, unless someone she didn’t normally converse with suddenly decided to be her friend. Chloe knew that her brother (as much as he loved his sister) would choose to spend time with Ava rather than Chloe. Chloe would not hold it against him either. She didn’t know and she wouldn’t later. She wouldn’t with any of them, but she would still be jealous of their relationships. “He’d move into your basement about become your private Vet if you asked him.” Chloe said lightly.
Chloe listened in silence while Ava talked about her relationship with her mother. Some of it she had already known. She knew her mother being a traveling Healer and had assumed something had happened with her father because she lived with her grandfather, but Chloe hadn’t known he had passed. However, the most surprising thing about it was the fact that Ava was so angry with her mother. She had always thought it was a relationship that Ava was okay with. Maybe not super happy about it, but at least accepting. Chloe wasn’t really sure why she had always assumed that. It might have been because Emery and her had similar backgrounds to Ava in that they were from single parent families (although Chloe’s was probably closer to Ava’s than Emery’s was) and they were (or had been) relatively okay with their pasts. Chloe’s had only recently changed and thus harder for her to accept now.
“The hell you can’t be angry with her.” Chloe said with a hint of fierceness in her voice. “You were a small child who lost her dad. You needed your mom and she wasn’t there for you because she was too busy thinking of herself.” Chloe stated. Part of it probably could have also been true about her own mother. “She’s your mother. She’s a mother and she abandoned her own child. I don’t care if she’s the Queen of England. That’s unacceptable.”
Chloe threw a balloon against the wall. She was so mad. She was mad on behalf of Ava and she was mad on behalf of herself. “She can’t honestly think that coming and going from your life is any sort of parenting, can she? You have every right to be upset with her and jealous of the people she is choosing over you. Yeah, she’s a great Healer for traveling and helping people, but she’s a terrible person for the fact that she just ran off on you and not taking any responsibility.”
She threw another balloon, letting the aggression out. She felt like she ought to do another mile on the bike. “What is with people thinking that they can make those sorts of decisions for other people?” Chloe asked. “Either be in my life or don’t but it can’t be both ways.”
Ava nodded even though Chloe’s comment didn’t seem directed towards her. She was glad that her friend had full faith in her brother. Ava didn’t like the idea of Emery being anything other than the wonderfully nice, attentive friend that he was to her. It matched up well with the Emery who had offered to help her out with her future cats when she became the Cat Woman of their group once everyone else was grown-up and married to other people. However, Chloe’s comment about Emery living in her basement worried Ava. “I don’t think his future partner would like that very much,” Ava said with a wrinkle in her brow. She was always careful to allow for any sort of gender to fall into place, and used the same courtesy for Emery who, despite his admittance to basically being in love with some girl back home*, could have secretly been harboring a thing for one of the guys in their school for all Ava knew (she didn’t know which idea upset her more, Emery with a guy or with that faceless girl, but she tried not to think about it either way).
Chloe’s sudden cursing surprised Ava. She had never thought her friend to be the sort who threw out words like ‘hell,’ words her grandfather had always told her ladies didn’t use. Chloe’s fierce words, however, only served to grow the tingling feeling Ava had in the pit of her stomach every time Chloe so much as acted pleased with something Ava had told her. It was all very confusing—these things were only things that the two Jareau siblings incited in Ava and she wondered if it were some sort of magic they were taught at home. Despite that, however, she couldn’t help but feel content with the anger her friend was showing on her behalf.
Content, that was, until Chloe’s anger grew larger and larger until she exploded and Ava had to wonder if Chloe was just upset with what Ava had told her. Ava frowned, watching the paint Chloe had just thrown drip down the wall, allowing Chloe’s final words to echo in the room slightly before choosing to address them. “Chloe?” she asked, turning concerned eyes upward towards her pretty friend. “Are you—are you alright? Did something happen?” The concern was completely evident in her voice and suddenly Ava was thrown back several years.
“Papa? Are you okay? Did something happen?” Ava had come downstairs dressed in one of her dad’s old shirts after hearing a crack followed by a crash downstairs in the kitchen. It was the day after the funeral and the little cottage was still covered in black. Her mom had promised to bring her out for some ice cream but she hadn’t yet and Ava still half-expected her dad to come home with a fresh cooler of fish for dinner. The scene she had walked in on was an unusual one—her normally calm and placid grandfather was standing over a broken cup, gentle fingers clenched together, jawline set. As she called out her name for him he turned from whatever he had been looking at that wasn’t there and his mouth smiled even though his eyes—which had been sad for nearly a year now ever since Grandma died, did not.
“Everything’s just fine, Mermaid,” he replied holding a hand out to her. “Grandpa just broke a cup, that’s all.” Ava accepted his hand and he led her around the pieces of porcelain to sit on the steps outside. “You wait here so you don’t get cut and I’ll clean everything up, okay?” Ava nodded, the hot iron curls from yesterday’s service that her grandfather had painstakingly put in when it had been clear that her mother was not going to be able to do it still somewhat in since he had used nearly half a can of hair spray as doing little girl’s hair was not something that was high on his resume.
“Are you going to use magic like Mommy and Daddy do?” Ava asked, tilting her head slightly when her grandfather did not reach into his back pocket like her parents had done whenever they needed to do something. He only smiled at her, a strained look coming into his face and shook his head.
“No, darling,” he replied as he bent down with a small broom and dustpan and began to sweep up the pieces, making sure to get even the bits that one couldn’t see. “Grandpa can’t do magic, only very special people like your parents can do that.”
“That’s too bad,” Ava responded. “Mommy says magic makes everything easier. But that’s okay because I think you’re special even if you can’t do magic.” She gave an innocent smile which only a young child could give before looking back out towards the sea. “When is Daddy coming home?” she asked, still not fully grasping the concept of death. “I made him a picture that I want him to see.”
If Ava had turned back towards her grandfather in that moment she would have seen tears welling up in his eyes but luckily she didn’t because he came up behind her to envelope her in a large hug. “I think you’re special too,” he replied instead. “That’s why I’m going to make up a special room for you upstairs, does that sound good? And your mom dropped off some of your things because I’m going to need your help this whole summer, okay? It’s a job only you can do.” His voice wavered a bit as he looked back towards the now empty chair in which Charlotte had been sitting in only moments before he had broken the cup.
Ava turned to him, eyes worried. “Of course, does that mean I’m staying here without Mommy and Daddy?” Ava had never stayed anywhere longer than one night without her parents before. Living in the same town as her father’s parents had meant that during the day while her parents worked her grandparents took care of her, but they always took her home for dinner, and she had only had one or two sleepovers with her grandma before. “Why can’t I go home?”
“Well,” her grandfather tried to explain without delving into too much detail. “Your mom needs to sell your house and find somewhere smaller so until then you’re going to stay with me while she looks around.”
Chloe blinked at Ava. His future partner? The fact that she had used a gender vagueness term was a little off-putting. To Chloe, Emery was into girls. Or, one girl specifically. There had never been any doubt of that. If he had been into men, she felt like that was something she would have been made aware of now. Chloe’s family was very accepting and there would never have been any reason for Emery to hide that part of himself from them. “Well, if he’s living in your basement, I doubt there would be any future partner for him at that point.” Chloe responded with a smile.
The rage that Chloe was feeling was more for herself than it was necessarily for Ava, but Ava’s situation was definitely adding to it. It was one thing for a person such as Chloe to have been abandoned at birth. And even then, she was with her father who took great care of her for her whole life and her biological mother left because she wasn’t mentally able to care for her. But Ava was abandoned simply because her mother didn’t feel like dealing with it. Was she serious? Chloe could maybe forgive the woman who in the time when her husband had just died needed some time to heal, but that was maybe a few weeks, possibly a year, but anything beyond that was selfish and neglect. What would she have done if Ava’s grandfather wasn’t around? And to use something like Healing as the excuse was just disgusting. That woman wasn’t a mother. Not anymore. Not to Chloe anyway.
What made it worse was that Ava was still so hopeful about having a relationship with the woman. The woman who left her behind a long time ago. Chloe had wanted some small knowledge of her own mother but now that everything had come to pass, she wasn’t sure if she cared if she ever saw her again. Ava’s mother kept coming and going into her life. It must have been so confusing for a child. Would it have been easier had she simply just stayed away? Chloe wasn’t sure about that either.
Parents were all too confusing. Whether they were there to raise you or only partially raise you, it didn’t matter. They tried to act like they knew everything when they really knew very little. Chloe at least understood that her mother had problems. Mental problems. Psychological problems. Addiction problems. She was incapable of being a mother and she was incapable of thinking about anyone else but herself. Chloe knew these things about her mother and she had known them for as long as she could remember, but she had never really understood what it meant until this past summer. But she had been so hopeful that her mother had changed or grown up or something. Immature thoughts for a little girl.
“Yes, I’m fine.” Chloe responded, watching the paint slide down the canvas. “I just totally get your mother issues and it’s crap that you feel like you don’t have the right to be angry about how your mother basically abandoned you because she couldn’t handle life. It’s pathetic.” Chloe turned to look at Ava and found her friend seemed to be somewhere else. “Hey, are you still with me?” Chloe asked. “Are you okay?” Some of Chloe’s anger had done, but the overall feeling of it was still there. She really needed to figure out how to get over all of this. Part of her wanted to hate her mother forever, but she knew that was both unrealistic and super unhealthy. Another part of her was just so exhausted by it all. She just didn’t know how to find the way to deal with it and move on.