Me gusta mucho mi libro... on Crotalus Commons

Gwen Carey

February 12, 2006 9:45 PM

Me gusta mucho mi libro... by Gwen Carey

Gwen had had a good idea about what was in the package her aunt had somehow managed to mail her during breakfast as soon as she had seen it, but it had gone into her bag due to the beginning of her first class and was not withdrawn until she finished the last of her Charms homework. Calling it homework didn't really make much sense in her estimation, since no one would be going home until December under normal circumstances, but common-room-work was too long to say, and classwork was what was done in, well, classes. What Aunt Rosamund had sent her was, if she wasn't mistaken, much easier given an accurate title: schoolwork.

For her own unexplained reasons, Aunt Rosamund had taken filling in the gaps she saw in Gwen's education as a personal mission around the same time she started acting so...nice, for lack of a better word...around midsummer. Apart from being required to review her regular Sonoran textbooks on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she also found herself being instructed by Rosamund in Spanish, basic political science, a little literature, and basic non-Carey wizarding history. The books her aunt relied on were about seventy years out of date, some having belonged to Gwen's grandfather and the rest, supposedly, to Rosamund's father-in-law, but still performed their functions well enough. She had been sent to school with a few volumes, including a Spanish primer she had finished a few days earlier.

She hadn't expected there to be any difficulty in a letter from her announcing that fact reaching Rosamund, but she had been fairly certain that there was no chance in Hades that anything from Rosamund would reach her. Dead women, after all, didn't write letters, and only two people society had once acknowledged - Rosamund's half-brother and his eldest daughter - knew for a fact that she was still alive, to the best of Gwen's knowledge. She had recognized the loopy, slanted handwriting on the front of the square package at once, though, and had decided not to think about the matter too much. Taking things one bit at a time was a new strategy that seemed to be working fairly well. She hadn't gotten into a single fight with either faction all year.

Opening the letter attached to the front, she scanned over it to make sure nothing looked too dire before reading it. The style seemed classic Rosamund, and probably contained more words than her aunt had ever directed to her at one time outside of the lessons. Rosamund claimed she had gotten too used to silence to ever be good at talking again, citing thirty years of only speaking to give orders to Jezie or Beatrice. Gwen wasn't sure how much of that was accurate and how much was Rosamund being dramatic. Even Savannah Careys in disgrace, as they both were, had a flair for the dramatic when the day was done.

Gwenhwyfar,

I was very pleased to recieve your letter. Good progress, but be careful to keep it up; I won't have attending a proper school turn you lazy after all the work I did with you over the summer. You're remarkably intelligent, especially for a child unfortunate enough to have my half-brother for a father. It's a wonder you didn't turn out a cross-eyed idiot on top of having your pre-Sonoran education all but neglected.

I've sent you another book, more up-to-date and advanced. I believe your father is under the impression I've forgotten how to speak Spanish and am trying to reteach myself. Pity this is only a minor operation - I would love to see the look on his Robinond-nosed face if he knew we were doing something that he doesn't seem to care for right under the aforementioned nose I thank God you didn't inherit. You are associated with me, now, and I couldn't stand to have a child in my care who looked like a Robinond. Your grandmother was some kind of mutation - inbreeding's made most of them hideous. I've always thought they marry their cousins because no one else will have them. If you do end up being disowned, don't marry anyone who was closely related to you before. It's bad for all parties involved, including the children you will not have until you are at least eighteen.

Do write again soon. I'd forgotten how boring things are when I'm alone here. And say what you like; Alasdair's agreed we can write so long as nothing in it indicated we're rebelling against his authority - I do believe he's turned into a megalomaniac; that's interesting wording even for him - or the authority of the Council. As I discovered it doesn't take much brandy to render Horace, newly assigned the duty of scanning our letters, incapable of reading.

Rosamund

Gwen didn't bother stopping herself from laughing aloud at her aunt's letter. It wasn't hard to imagine Rosamund as a fun woman, before whatever happened all those years ago happened. She'd wondered more than once which House her aunt had been in; she didn't really seem to fit into any of their stereotypes. Shaking her head and laying the letter aside, she tore into the package without regard for her fingernails and was rewarded by the sight of a thick, fairly new-looking book with a cover written in Spanish. Glancing at the table of contents, she tried to come up with a mental estimate of how long it would take to complete based on the drawbacks of not having someone to pronounce the words and having homework against the advantage of having a book's worth of prior knowledge before remembering her resolution not to care if things fell neatly into schedule. She had undergone numerous setbacks in it, so many that there were days she might as well have never made the resolution, but there was no harm in trying to stick with it.

Her hair, loose around her shoulders - she frowned, wondering if she'd remembered to brush it and decided, based on the lack of comments she had heard being directed her way throughout the day, that she had - fell forward, completely covering her face as she bent over the first page of the introduction. It seemed logical that giving an appearance of being deep in study would make people leave her alone. Heck, they might even think she was on scholarship, somewhere between the book and the last-year clothes, if they didn't know who she was, which would be double incentive to avoid her like she carried the plague.

It didn't work. She had only reached Exercise Two when it became undeniably obvious that she was being observed. Lowering her book from its tilted-up position to her knees and tossing her hair out of her face in what she hoped was a casual way, she gave the observer an unfocused look as she tried to pull herself out of book-world and back into the real world. Maybe it was some random first year wanting to ask stupid questions to see if he or she could get away with it. "Can I help you?" She tried not to let it sound like she really wanted to say Go away so I can read my Spanish book like a friendless nerd instead of a friendless nobody. She wasn't friendless, not exactly, and Aunt Rosamund always made a point of how they weren't nobodies, either. \n\n

0 Gwen Carey Me gusta mucho mi libro... 63 Gwen Carey 1 5

Lila Gringe

February 13, 2006 9:56 AM

I'm with you there. by Lila Gringe

Oops. She'd been noticed. Lila felt her face turning a deep scarlet, despite her best efforts. Also despite her best efforts, she was certain that she looked horrified- not to mention mortified- as well.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, trying and failing to reduce her blush. But there wasn't anything to blush about! Not really, anyhow. All she'd been doing was trying to read the title of the other girl's book. Of course, she didn't speak much Spanish- she'd only picked up a few words in her lifetime- so the effort was likely futile, but she'd finished all her work for her classes and, being in a different language, the book naturally looked more interesting than any book in English. Not that she didn't love the English language; it was just that it was getting a bit . . . monotonous.

"I saw that the title of your book wasn't in English, and I was trying to figure out what it was- the title, not the language," she explained, finally being rewarded by the fading of that burning feeling she got whenever she blushed.

Well, at least something was going right, if nothing else. Hopefully she looked normal by now. And if Lila was any judge of the expression on her face, she was certain she looked normal. Or fairly normal, at any rate. But she'd settle for that.

After all, it was better than looking absolutely mortified.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe I'm with you there. 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 13, 2006 4:03 PM

Books are our friends. by Gwen Carey

She thinks I'm on scholarship or completely insane, was Gwen's immediate reaction to the girl's reaction to her greeting. Probably the former or both, knowing my luck. After all, she had been doing everything but openly encourage people to think she had lost a few drops of her potion. It was the only socially acceptable excuse she could find for her new policy of saying or doing whatever she wanted without regard for what either of the second-year cliques thought about it. And it made people nervous, which, when she was in a vindictive mood, became the only expression of power over others she still had within her reach. She pushed the lines of her own face back into regularity as quickly as possible. There was no reason for her to take her problems out on the firstie...today.

"It's all right," she said, trying to sound soothing, the way she used to with Edmond. Merlin, but she missed Eddie. He had probably forgotten ever having a sister besides Morgaine by now. She laughed a little at the other girl's hurried explanation about knowing what language the book was in, just not what it meant. "It's okay, really," she said again, giving the first year the closest approximation of her old glamour-girl smile she could manage. The Arizona sun had undone much of the pallor two months in a swamp had created, but she still didn't look right to herself in the mirror every morning. The odd crossing of Gwen and Gwenhwyfar hadn't done much for her looks.

"My aunt sent it this morning," she said, giving the red-faced younger girl a moment to compose herself. "She doesn't want me to get behind while I'm here. I sort of wish she had sent herself along with this - she's a brilliant teacher - but I'm not sure how good for my semblance of a social life that would be." She could just imagine Anne and Connor's reactions to her sixty-something-year-old aunt trailing her throughout the day. She'd probably be too much of a laughingstock for them to stomach. When she thought the other girl looked sufficiently recovered from her embarrassment, she smiled again. "I'm Gwenhwyfar Carey," she said, leaving out the fact she was one of the notorious second years. She thought this was the same girl who had been sitting with Lila at the feast, which made things bad enough by itself. "Most people call me Gwen," she added kindly, needing no Seer's abilities whatsoever to know that a request to call her that was probably coming. \n\n

0 Gwen Carey Books are our friends. 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 13, 2006 5:58 PM

Books aren (nm) by Lila Gringe

0 Lila Gringe Books aren (nm) 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 13, 2006 6:12 PM

Stupid keyboard . . . by Lila Gringe

OOC: Yup, the keyboard is being evil . . .

BIC:

So this was Gwenhwyfar Carey, the girl the other Lila had warned her against associating with. In Lila's own opinion, her fellow Crotali didn't seem too bad. For one thing, she was obviously interested in a book- Lila wasn't sure how many of her peers she could say that about. Not that she knew many of her peers. For another, the older girl wasn't mean at all- another thing she wasn't sure she could say of many of her peers.

Now she was being slightly contradictory, however. All she really knew about this girl was that she was interested in at least one book- likely more- and she wasn't openly mean. Lila despised superficiality, and while she wasn't exhibiting it, the first year was always aware of when she could potentially end up judging someone by what they were doing or how they looked.

Lila managed the nicest smile she could muster in response. She knew that it would seem just a tad overly formal, but it wasn't something she could overcome at the moment, distracted by the various thoughts whirling through her head as she was. Nor was it something she thought was very important. A slight formality wasn't such a bad thing- at the least, it was better than its opposite.

"I'm Lila Gringe," the girl introduced herself in return. "Pleased to meet you." The introduction was similar to the automatic one she had given the other Lila at the feast; she certainly needed to start paying more attention to what she was saying. Would it get boring, she wondered, introducing herself almost exactly the same way every time she met someone?

Then, a question struck her, as questions were wont to do. "Could she have come, though?" Lila asked, curious. She couldn't help it- it was certainly easy to remain shy and polite and formal, but not when curiousity was a constant itch in one's mind. "Your aunt, I mean. Doesn't she have things she has to do?"\n\n

0 Lila Gringe Stupid keyboard . . . 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 13, 2006 9:52 PM

But were you about to say that books aren't friendly? by Gwen Carey

She watched for a reaction to her name. If there was one thing she loved about Crotalus so much that she hated it, it was that everyone always seemed to know everyone else's business. Maybe it was vain of her, but Gwen couldn't help but think that the whole scandal of her near-miss with being thrown out had stirred some water. The slight stiltedness of the smile told her that while the first year might not know all the fine details, she probably knew she was talking to someone she shouldn't. She had the same kind of air everyone in the younger crowd at home, herself excepted, had whenever talking to Morgaine. Her face hardened momentarily, then relaxed again. She didn't care. The hard part was remembering that she no longer cared.

"Pleasure's mine, dahlin'," she said absently, trying to summon up something in relation to the surname 'Gringe'. Nothing was forthcoming at all. The name was completely unfamiliar...except for the fact that this first year shared a given name with Lila St.Martin, her one-time second-in-command at her one-time home. This girl of no recognizable surname was stuck sharing a name and a dorm with Lila, and Gwen knew Lila. "Very pleased to meet you," she said.

The question about her aunt brought her back from her half-formed idea and back into a properly wary frame of mind. Messing up wasn't an option. It had never been and would never be politically astute to broadcast that you lived with your aunt because your father was convinced he'd murder you the moment you set foot in his house, especially when said aunt was supposedly dead. "I doubt the rules would allow her to tag along, but it wouldn't be a problem for her schedule," she said, tilting her head to redistribute the weight of her hair, a gesture only performed when she was nervous. "She hasn't had anything to do but brood over her long-lost husband for thirty years. The woman needs something to do with her time." Hopefully, Lila Gringe would take that for some kind of joke or kidding. Hiding the truth in plain sight wasn't as easy once one got out of practice.

She wanted to ask point-blank how much Lila knew about her same-name, but it would break the rules of the game. Breaking the rules was the first step towards not being allowed to play, as she had discovered. "You're one of the first years, right? How're things going for y'all? Here's to hoping you don't get a reputation like my year did. We were at war by the second morning, and I think the whole school knew about it by the third." \n\n

0 Gwen Carey But were you about to say that books aren't friendly? 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 14, 2006 12:08 AM

Oh, no, no, no, no! Books are /more/ than friendly! by Lila Gringe

"Oh," Lila replied, almost in a murmur. The 'oh' wasn't precisely necessary, she supposed, but she always preferred to acknowledge that she had heard and understood something. It prevented the opinion that she was an idiot- one wasn't often thought kindly of when one preferred to keep her mouth shut and listen. Lila guessed that this was because people didn't need a reason to think a person was an idiot, but they did need a reason to think otherwise. Then again, that was a rather cynical view. The truth was, not saying anything could easily be mistaken for not understanding, which could indeed make one think of idiocy.

This, of course, was a bit stupid in Lila's opinion; after all, a person not being talkative said absolutely nothing about their intelligence. Why people were so superficial, she had no idea. All she knew was that she despised it. Not to mention that it irritated her more than a bit.

A war between yearmates? Immediately Lila was curious again, as she had been about Gwen's aunt. What could cause such a war? Wouldn't people have gotten used to each other, having classes together and rooming together and such?

She couldn't help it. She had to ask. But she could say something else first. She had that much restraint, at least.

"That wouldn't be good," she agreed, keeping back the question for as long as she could. Finally, though, she had to ask. "But what caused the war?"

Curiosity was maybe not the best trait in the world. But it wasn't really something she could control. If she heard something remotely intriguing, Lila couldn't help asking about it- well, for the most part. There were exceptions to every rule. In fact, as Rena had said quite a few times, the exception proved the rule. And in Lila's mind, that was most certainly true, especially in this case.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe Oh, no, no, no, no! Books are /more/ than friendly! 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 14, 2006 8:46 PM

You should meet my cousin. by Gwen Carey

Gwen leaned forward very slightly when Lila asked what had caused the Crotalus clique war of the previous year, a movement not really noticeable in and of itself but able to convey the impression that she was willing to talk but didn't especially want to be overheard. It had taken practice and a share of mess-ups on her part to memorize her reactions while they were actually happening so they could be replicated later, but she thought she had learned pretty quickly. If there was one thing her father couldn't stand and wouldn't tolerate in her or Morgaine, girls though they were, it was failure. She managed a kind of self-decrepating look as she began to relay a short version of the feud that made the second-year Crotali infamous.

"It's really kind of stupid, now that I look at it from an objective angle, but it seemed important at the time. It was all class distinction and pureblood supremacism. There were four proper little pureblood princesses, one renegade, a half-blood, and me all in the same dorm. I got grouped in with the renegade and the half-blood and the only boy in our year because one of the princesses has some kind of aversion to my accent, apparently." She shook her head as if she had no idea why Cate would react to a mode of speech in that manner. Aunt Rosamund was a great source of very old gossip when she wanted to be. "Since two of us were purebloods, we decided it wasn't their place to snub any of us and set up a plan to overthrow them or something dramatic like that. At least, that's what I thought." I love the way my brain works sometimes.

She sat back up abruptly. "Then it turned out that my current ex-friend, the other pureblood outside their little clique, was somehow in cahoots with the nastiest girl inside the clique. They banded together with the princess second-in-command to ruin my life when my father came to the Alumni Banquet last winter." The smile she shot the younger girl was tinged with bitter irony, nowhere near all of it intentional. "So, yes, I am that Gwenhwyfar Carey. The other one died about a century ago." She frowned, as if in sudden confusion. She felt sort of bad for basically manipulating the poor girl, but she needed allies more than Lila St.Martin or her fellow has-everythings. "Wait, are you a pureblood? It's okay if you're not, but most purebloods would have started running in the opposite direction as soon as they heard my name." \n\n

0 Gwen Carey You should meet my cousin. 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 15, 2006 5:20 PM

If she likes books as much as I do, I'm sure we'd get alon by Lila Gringe

Lila couldn't help it. The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it. "What on Earth is a pureblood?" she exclaimed, rather more loudly than she ought to have. She couldn't help it, though. She hadn't the faintest idea what 'pureblood' meant.

She gathered, of course, that it was a type of class distinction- the upper class. (She got the impression that it was a sort of aristocracy.) Half-blood, then, must mean something along the lines of being middle-class. Renegade was obvious.

Still, what she didn't know was what determined the class distinctions- or where the names came from.

Even without proper knowledge of the class distinction, though, Lila could work out the basis of the conflict. How all of this had ruined Gwen's life, however, was absolutely beyond her. Wouldn't the older girl be better off without the other pureblood- whatever that meant- who had obviously been disloyal? She didn't ask, however, instead waiting for a reply to her outburst.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe If she likes books as much as I do, I'm sure we'd get alon 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 15, 2006 7:41 PM

She probably does,and thinks of inanimate objects as friends by Gwen Carey

Gwen found herself momentarily caught off-guard by Lila's question. She had seen evidence that Crotalus had a highly - diverse - student population, but she had never heard of a Muggleborn being admitted into the House. Of course, there was no reason why the wary, proper children of Muggle socialites shouldn't turn out to be witches and wizards as readily as any other Muggle children, but it was the first time she had ever heard of it happening. Half-bloods didn't even seem common. Criminals, certainly, whack jobs, reluctantly, but almost all pureblooded to the hilt or good at faking it. She was a great believer in the evidence, however, and the evidence said that the girl standing in front of her was a Muggleborn Crotalus.

Her mind flashed to the Welcoming Feast, when she had seen this Lila talking to her stepcousin of the same name. She has no idea, Gwen thought grimly. She can't. She would be having a nervous interlude to rival one of my worst if she did. She's a St.Martin, for Merlin's sake. They're the most stuck-up family in Charleston, from what I can make of it. Well, most of them were. Allie and Uncle Julian had been dropped on their heads as babies, making the former sweet and the latter only borderline sane on the best of days.

"You must be a Muggleborn," she said finally, afraid she was being quiet for too long. "That means your parents weren't magical. Pureblood's a term most people use to mean that a person's family has been all-magical to the best of society's knowledge. Half-bloods are people who have some magic in their family but haven't had it long enough or in enough members to be pureblooded, like people with one magical parent or two Muggleborn parents or that sort of thing. The whole underlying concept of pureblood society, at least the way it was taught to me, is loyalty to the family. My family goes back for centuries, and most of the other people in this House can say they have at least four or five generations."

She gave Lila a serious, appraising look. "Most people here at Sonora won't hold it against you, but pretty much everyone in Crotalus will. Especially Lila St.Martin, if she works out that you aren't a pureblood. She'll think you deliberately tricked her and go out of her way to make your life miserable. A lot of people would probably go along with her just because she's a St.Martin." Now, if she was careful and lucky, this might turn out to be more than a squandering of time she could have been using to study. "I could help you," she offered. "I've been told I'm pretty good at explaining how that world works, and Lila's way too stupid to ever work out surnames if nothing's said or done to make her suspicious." \n\n

0 Gwen Carey She probably does,and thinks of inanimate objects as friends 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 15, 2006 11:47 PM

When can I meet her? by Lila Gringe

There was another obvious question. But Lila wasn't going to ask it, even if she was wondering. What experience she'd had in the world- which wasn't much- had taught her that most questions about the nature of human beings were unanswerable. And she suspected that this one was as well. Why does it matter who you're related to? She probably would never know.

"She'll think you deliberately tricked her and go out of her way to make your life miserable."

Lila swallowed hard. The thought that it was a bit stupid to think such a thing because Lila couldn't have known about purebloods and such at the time didn't even occur to her. The thought that someone would do such a thing as what Gwen was saying Lila St.Martin would do- if she found out- hurt a little. She'd gotten along fine with the other Lila. They weren't quite friends, but they could be. That someone would just toss that away like an out-of-date encyclopedia hurt more.

Knowing this, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to be friends with her roommate, but she certainly didn't want said roommate to make her miserable. So there was absolutely no hesitation or doubt in her voice when she replied gratefully "If you could, I'd really appreciate it." 'Really appreciate it.' What a phrase. One of her most common, though. She found it was the best answer when someone was offering a favor of any sort.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe When can I meet her? 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 17, 2006 1:55 PM

Much anytime she's not working with her team. by Gwen Carey

It had worked. Amazing. Somehow, she wasn't quite sure how or even when, Gwen had become convinced that the old ability had left her altogether, somewhere between spending a semester as a rebel, a semester as a loner, and a summer as a ward, but it was apparently still present enough to work on someone. The thought that some part of the Gwen Carey of Savannah still existed made her want to smile or even laugh aloud, but she didn't. People didn't trust people who smiled too much, and it seemed vitally important to gain and keep Lila Gringe's trust.

"It's no problem," she reassured the younger girl. "I wouldn't subject my worst enemy to a vengeance-seeking Lila." All right, maybe she was half-lying. The Lila in front of her would probably never know that. "She plays dirty in the best of times." Gwen mentally absolved herself of even that much of a betrayal to her stepcousin and former friend by calling up the thought that she had enough dirt on Lila St.Martin to paint her blacker than the sky during a mudstorm if she wanted to. She was fairly sure that Lila would have, if the situations had been reversed. "Besides, I think you'll be pretty good at this. Probably a little better than the last one I gave this course to, actually. You're a girl, and we're in the same House." She almost regretted the last bit - the last thing she needed was more scandal - but who was Lila going to tell, anyway?

"You've already had the first lesson, about what constitutes each class. The theory these days is that being one or another doesn't really mean anything - I've heard of people who've said they shouldn't even be called social classes, actually - but most purebloods will reject that theory to the death. You always have to be careful what you say to who about things like that. I have a cousin who can't stand most purebloods on principle, and I have a sister who's pretending I'm dead because I'm on the bad side of most purebloods at this school." There was a tiny part of her that was going to love seeing Morgaine on the wrong end of payback for that, one day, and the rest of her was going to hate that part with all its being. "Let the other person get there first. If they don't, avoid the topic, unless making them think you're on one side of the fence is the point." She smiled, deciding to risk it. "And there's lesson two." \n\n

0 Gwen Carey Much anytime she's not working with her team. 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 18, 2006 11:19 AM

Does that happen as often as she's reading? by Lila Gringe

The last one Gwen had given this course to? That was an interesting thing to say. How often did one end up having to explain this sort of thing to people? And the same house bit- who had been the last one, the one obviously not a Crotalus? A better question occurred to her: Which house had said last one been from that made it more difficult to learn to fake pureblood- that word still felt unfamiliar- behavior?

Lila mentally ran through what she knew of the other houses. Which was, really, absolutely nothing. She only really knew the names of said houses. So she hadn't the faintest idea why someone from a different house would be slower to catch on.

That was beside the point, though. At the moment, she needed to focus on what she was hearing. She needed to listen, and listen well.

A sister pretending that Gwen was dead? That caught Lila's attention almost at once. The first year herself didn't have a sister, but if she had, she certainly wouldn't have absolutely ignored them simply because of social disgrace.

Except now she couldn't be so open, she reminded herself. Being careful about what she said couldn't be too hard. But she was going to have to stop asking what curiosity forced her to. Inwardly, she winced. Curiosity wasn't easy to deny, but she was going to have to deny it.

Outwardly, she nodded, not showing her worry about denying curiosity at all. "So I stay on the fence until there's a reason not to," she reiterated. Easy enough, she supposed. She'd have to keep her guard up, but she tried to most of the time anyhow. It couldn't be too difficult. Could it?

She smiled back at the other girl, extremely grateful for the second year's help. Without said help . . . Well, she didn't want to think about that.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe Does that happen as often as she's reading? 0 Lila Gringe 0 5

Gwen Carey

February 18, 2006 10:43 PM

Not as far as I'm aware. by Gwen Carey

It was the smile that let her knew she'd managed, somehow, to pull it off. She'd earned another follower, and one who had access to her former associates at that. This was beyond luck. There was no denying that she felt more guilty and uncomfortable with the whole thing by the moment, but that didn't matter. If she could actually befriend the first year, then the problem would no longer be there and she would be able to progress guilt-free. If not, she'd just keep the guilt, because giving up wasn't an option. Giving up a step of progress voluntarily would be even worse than losing it all the way she had last year.

"That's exactly it, dahlin'," she said, smiling back. "And don't mind it if I call you that - it's habit." The distinction between dahlin' and darlin' was extremely obvious to her, but she could see why others might have trouble telling one from another. She wanted badly to toss her hair to relieve the tension in her neck, but it would either betray that she was nervous or come across as looks-obsessed-snob-esque. Mastering the impulse wasn't her idea of fun, but she could do it. She was through with giving into what she wanted to do as opposed to what she needed to do, at least for the moment. As to what direction her mind might go off in tomorrow, she had no idea.

That tendency of her brain got really old, sometimes.

Focus, fool. Let your guard down and she'll realize you're a nervous wreck on top of a social disgrace and good source of information. Based on past evidence, I'd say that would cause our new amiga to bolt. She decided she wasn't going to reply to herself this time. It was too strange, arguing with her own thoughts, and an argument was what it always was. She was calm. She could handle this conversation. She'd gotten this far, hadn't she?

"You holler if you need anything, all right? It's hard enough getting used to Sonora without getting used to all this, too." At least part of her guilt complex was because of that very fact. There was nothing easy about what Lila was, apparently, going to try to do. "Trust me, there'll be times you'll want to throw things at the wall, scream, cry, and renounce everything. Just make sure the dorm door's shut and no one's in the bathroom before you do." She gave the other girl a conspiratorial wink. She had Avalon for that sort of thing, but she had a feeling she didn't want to tell Lila about that sanctuary just yet. \n\n

0 Gwen Carey Not as far as I'm aware. 63 Gwen Carey 0 5

Lila Gringe

February 19, 2006 3:32 PM

Then there ought to be time. by Lila Gringe

She could do this. She had to be able to do this. If she couldn't, there wasn't likely to be a way to survive her roommates. If she couldn't, she was going to have to deal with Lila St.Martin attempting to make her life miserable.

She could do this. She knew she could. She was a superb liar- it came easily to her. If anyone could pull it off, it was her.

That wasn't to say there wasn't a doubt in her mind.

There is no way I can do this. She never had been one to be overly confident in herself. I'm only just learning about this. It's . . . it's performing a lead role the day after receiving the script. It's ridiculous. But, she knew, she had to try. If she didn't, that would be giving up without being defeated. It would be losing because she didn't want to take a risk.

And that, in her opinion, made her worthless. Her mind was made up. At the very least, she had to try.

She nodded soberly at Gwen's advice. This was, she understood, going to be a difficult endeavor. No, difficult didn't cover it. Near impossible was closer.

"Thank you." Her voice was quiet, the words were simple, but her gratitude was obvious.

Sometimes, Lila realized, simplicity was better than anything else.\n\n

0 Lila Gringe Then there ought to be time. 0 Lila Gringe 0 5