After finishing her dinner, Ginger returned to her room and put off doing her homework in favor of writing to Joella.
Dear Joella,
First, I'm really sorry for breaking down in front of you earlier. No idea what that was all about. But let me explain what I was thinking, since you want to know.
The first Quidditch match I played at this school was the worst day of my life. I am not a competitive person and my previous Quidditch experience were all pick up games where most of us didn't even know all the rules and half of us were muggles and only two of us had brooms. Then the cobbled together Teppalus team was murdered by Pecari. I cried that night. I would have quit if Teppalus hadn't needed me, but I still hated it. I hated it. If Liliana hadn't made an offer to mentor me privately, I absolutely would have quite that next year. It was too much stress. Liliana made me realize the other teams did not hate me, when playing them on the Pitch just felt like attack after personal attack.
Maybe your Luke doesn't have this problem. Maybe he can separate aggressive game-play from personal failure, but I couldn't, not at first, not until an opponent offered an olive branch and helped me learn there was no real animosity. Last year, when I watched Makenzie in front of her goals, I could only see me in my first game. I had nightmares again that night.
I do not offer the Secret Cabal of Keepers to undermine the captains or competitions. The team practices with the Chasers are absolutely the most important training a Keeper can get. Building and being part of an amazing team that has to work together to compete against and hopefully even will against the other houses is the sole reason I am still playing. I am absolutely not trying to undermine that.
But Keepers are a defensive position. We don't need to see everyone as an enemy while we are out there. Makenzie is hardly the definition of hard core sportspeople. I'm not convinced Lena didn't join just because her boyfriend is the captain. I just wanted to offer then hope and support as a fellow Keeper that you can get through this without stressing out. And as long as I was inviting both of them, it seemed really unfair not to invite Luke, too.
I never intended to try to be a training regime. That's what team practices are for. I intended to be a support group for people who are less constitutionally inclined toward competitive sports and to help them feel more confident in their position, to talk about Keeping related fears in a safe place without worrying that their teammates will think less of them.
If Luke doesn't need that, I apologize if he and you feel offended that I thought he might.
I am sorry if you disagree with me organizing this group, but I don't see how helping all the Keepers in the school reach their best potential and not wig out during games is harmful. If anything it makes the games closer to the competitive sport you love.