Jim Dickens
April 10, 2005 4:28 PM
It's a matter of life or unlikely death by Jim Dickens
Jim had lost his patch. He had lost the most important patch in the history of the world. He had read somewhere that dinosaurs had fought over this patch and eaten baby dinosaurs in hopes to keep the patch. Dinosaurs became cannibals over this patch, and he had lost it. His beautiful shiny red vest was now incomplete. A huge gapping hole the size of six belly buttons (or the size of his Aunt Zelda's belly button; she really liked her jello or so his mom said, but Jim had only ever seen her eat twinkies, so he figured Aunt Zelda must hide her jello somewhere)- a huge gapping hole right smack dab in the lower right corner of his vest.Jim needed his patch. It was a matter of earthly destruction if it wasn't found. The world would blow up and shoot out giant rays of death and poison if he didn't find it. That was the rule. Mr. Barts said it again and again: "If you lose another patch, Jim, the world will blow up and shoot out giant rays of death and poison." Jim really didn't want the world to blow up. He had yet to meet one of those cannibal dinosaurs.
He squinted through the refracted lense of his magnifying glass, searching the floor directly in front of his feet for clues as to where his patch had run off to. So far the only things he had noticed were that his sneakers had really neat mud stains and that his Common Room had really clean floors. Still. No patch.
Jim kept to his wandering, circling the room twice and tripping over the same chair twice. On his third round, he switched to cut through the middle of the room and tripped again, this time over a lamp. Stupid lamp. He fell back into a conveniently placed sofa and lay there considering whether the world blowing up wasn't such a bad thing after all. He had never seen a world blown up before, and for all he knew, it could be a nice experience. Maybe the center of the earth was filled with dinosaurs or candy canes. Peppermint would be great, and for the poison gas, well, weren't there masks for that?
He could probably get a new patch too for surviving the death rays.
Jim rolled over and felt a bit of weight in his jeans pocket and stuffed his hand down in to check. With his fingers, he felt first the rough thread sewn side and then the backside that felt slick to the touch. With a cry of excitement, he pulled out the missing patch and jumped up to his feet on the sofa. Still hopping about from cushion to cushion, he cradled the found patch happily.
"My vitamin patch, my vitamin patch!" Jim sang. "Now I can eat my vitamins all da-y lo-ng!"\n\n
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Jim Dickens
It's a matter of life or unlikely death
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Jim Dickens
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