A new leaf (tag Dorian). on Teppenpaw Commons

Nathaniel Mordue

July 19, 2019 3:32 PM

A new leaf (tag Dorian). by Nathaniel Mordue

Nathaniel had nothing whatsoever against Dorian Montoir, Dorian Montoir's girlfriend, or any other member of the clique of now-fifth years which he thought of as centered on Dorian Montoir. However, he had the distinct impression that Dorian and his friends didn't know that.

He didn't think it was even just that time he had accidentally socked Dorian in the face with a charm while he was ill with that strange ailment which had made them all start lashing out unpredictably with magic. That incident hadn't helped, of course, but he thought that alone might have been passed over completely, had it not become the first in just a series of tiny misunderstandings and unrelated events involving related people and general Stuff. The Defense incident had happened. Nathaniel had taken some photographs for Tatiana, and as a result, had ended up taking minor offense when she had offered him money for them before he had remembered that she had no context for knowing who he was - but probably not before mildly offending her in turn. Plus, when she had been on the Quidditch team, they had been in direct competition for Keeper, which he could hardly imagine had endeared him to a Pecari in particular. Then Simon had....

He had to work not to shake his head at nothing just remembering what he had heard about that. Perhaps it was disloyal of him to even think it, but there were times when he thought his cousin really ought to have at least one horrible thing happen in his life, to knock some sense into him. Not that it had worked for Jeremy, but Jeremy didn't have responsibilities, and had been very young when it happened. Simon was older and knew his role, which made it more likely, Nathaniel thought, that a sharp lesson would stick.

In any event, between tiny incidents building up over time and Nathaniel strongly suspecting that the entire House had heard Lyssa Fitzgerald shouting at him for no reason last year, events led Nathaniel to suspect that the ringleader of his neighbors didn't like him very much. He didn't like this on its own merits, as when they had first met he had thought he might even make friends with Dorian, but it was an extra problem now that they were probably going to be prefects together next year, and so he resolved to try to turn over a new leaf with his House, or at least the people he would probably have to work with in future and who didn't explicitly and publicly hate him already, so far as he knew.

With this goal in mind, he did not say anything the first night of school, in part because he was exhausted and had still needed to write his first letter of the year home to Mama before he could go to bed, but the next evening he steeled himself when they happened to be near their respective doors at about the same time. "Hey," he said, a touch awkwardly. "I - uh - just wanted to say congratulations. On getting prefect," he clarified, though what else he could have been talking about, he had no idea, stupid thing to clarify, really....

He brushed the thoughts aside. He had said it, and he would just sound stupid if he tried to say anything more at this point, at least before getting a response.

16 Nathaniel Mordue A new leaf (tag Dorian). 1412 Nathaniel Mordue 1 5

Dorian

July 19, 2019 10:08 PM

Was there an old one? by Dorian

Nathaniel Mordue was not a person to whom Dorian had given an awful lot of thought. There had been a deeply unpleasant incident in Nathaniel’s first year, Dorian’s second, where the other boy had misfired a jinx at him in Defence class, resulting in Dorian getting, effectively, punched in the face. This had not endeared Nathaniel to him in anyway (nor, he suspected, to Tatya and Jehan, who had been rather outraged at someone making him bleed). It had been an accident, and he had been willing to write it off as such, even if he thought that the fact that Nathaniel’s accidental magic involved hitting people who’d done him no wrong whilst Dorian’s own involved accidentally summoning Jehan’s sweater to snuggle in said rather a lot about their characters. Rather more than he himself had realised at the time, regarding his own…

Still, after that point, they had just never really crossed paths again. Maybe Nathaniel was embarrassed, maybe he just didn’t care for Dorian. Dorian didn’t particularly care whether he cared for him or not, so long as he didn’t punch him again, and that was a possibility that even he found unlikely. If pushed, he would admit that he didn’t particularly seek to be in Nathaniel’s company, and probably preferred not to be, but it was more the case that they simply had no reason to want to hang out. Dorian had his friends, Nathaniel had his family, and they each just stuck to their own group without it really meaning anything. Even after Simon had turned out to be a xenophobic biggot, it had not done a lot to shift Dorian’s opinion of Nathaniel. It hadn’t inclined him to try getting to know him better, but he was well aware that judging a person’s character by the actions of their brother - or cousin, in this case - was likely to lead to unreliable results. Nathaniel was also a Teppenpaw, which meant there should be some base level of not being a terrible human, and Dorian was quite content to quietly assume that existed in Nathaniel should the other boy cross his mind, and then leave his thoughts at that.

He was not terribly surprised when Nathaniel greeted him. Whilst they didn’t interact a lot, they were cordial with each other when they happened to cross paths - just they happened to not do that very often, in spite of being neighbours.

“Hello,” he smiled politely. “Thank you,” he added, his smile softening to something a shade more natural when Nathaniel congratulated him on the badge. He had got past the point of beaming with surprised delight when others mentioned it, and - for all that he could usually be read like a book - was capable enough of controlling his emotions to a degree, or perhaps it was more accurate to say he habitually had his guard up around people who had not warranted it being lowered.

He wasn’t sure whether he ought to leave it at that. It was hard to know whether Nathaniel was merely being polite because they had happened across each other, or was interested in, to a degree, reaching out here and having some kind of interaction. That made it hard to judge whether saying the bare minimum was allowing a pleasant escape from an otherwise unwanted conversation, or a rude rebuff of an attempt to be friendly. He supposed that was what small talk had been invented for. He could see how they fared with a minute or so of that, and it would probably do no harm either way.

“How are things with you?” he asked.

13 Dorian Was there an old one? 1401 Dorian 0 5

Nathaniel

July 24, 2019 2:48 PM

In my head, yes. by Nathaniel

Inquiries about his well-being were polite, not unfriendly. That was good. It was possible that other people didn't spend as much time disliking him as he spent worrying that they spent disliking him. It wasn't enough to encourage him to go around the crazy girl in third year again if he could help it, but it was a good start.

"I'm well, thank you," he said. "I had a nice summer." Well...more or less. Maybe. Jeremy was Jeremy. This was a problem. He was always less anxious, though, when he was at home with his family - if he made a small misstep, it wasn't the end of the world, and he could see his mother for himself and know how she was doing. That last part hadn't been every day even over the summer, of course - Mama had gone on brief spa trips that were supposed to help with her headaches and her nerves, and he and Jeremy had stayed with Uncle Alexander and Aunt Avery and their cousins then - but even that was preferable to being here, where he couldn't actually go where she was if something was wrong, or at least keep other people away from her when she needed to lie down in the dark and be alone.

“It was very quiet,” he added, quite truthfully, overall. “We all like to be at home together, when we can.” Well, all of them except possibly Jeremy. Because...Jeremy was Jeremy. “How was yours?”

16 Nathaniel In my head, yes. 1412 Nathaniel 0 5

Dorian

July 25, 2019 1:08 AM

Ah. Mental leaves. I am familiar with these. by Dorian

Nathaniel, quiet, at home, valuing just... being with his family. It was enough to make him seem rather human. There was, of course, the deeply ingrained Pureblood notion that family was Everything, but that was rather a different sentiment than saying one enjoyed their company.

"That sounds nice," he nodded. "We spent most of the summer in China to visit my mother's family," he answered because this was the truth and because he saw no reason to avoid that. If Nathaniel found that to be offensively foreign then this conversation would just come to an abrupt end. "We go every second summer," the reason for this being so that they did not miss the summer season in Canada too often but that sounded so pretentious - so society. And even though he was supposed to be that with Nathaniel, he didn't want to put on airs and graces, to start talking like someone he wasn't just to sound right to someone he didn't particularly care for. Admittedly, his words were carefully crafted in other ways, as he took precise care with his verbs and other components of his grammar, not wanting to make himself vulnerable to attack, but that was somewhat different.

"We are always back by mid August though, because my sister has her birthday, and she always chooses the theatre," he added. It felt a little odd, standing here, giving Nathaniel little windows into his life because he had never expected him to be interested. Perhaps he still wasn't, but equally it didn't feel beyond the bounds of comfortable to exchange a little bit of information with each other, and mentioning his sister always made him feel comforted. He liked to make sure she existed within the walls of Sonora.

13 Dorian Ah. Mental leaves. I am familiar with these. 1401 Dorian 0 5

Nathaniel

July 27, 2019 6:45 PM

They aren't much fun, are they? by Nathaniel

Nathaniel could not honestly say he knew much about China, other than 'is very big,' 'is very old,' and 'they have tea and dragons there.' Come to that, he did see Dorian in the common room with a tea set rather often, though he had not much thought about it.

"Wow," he said, duly impressed. "That sounds really nice."

Goodness knew Nathaniel would have liked to have had an excuse to spend every other holiday on the other side of the planet. For one thing, while he found more than enough to photograph in Oregon, he couldn't deny the inherent interest in completely novel architecture and topography. For another, well, it would have been easier, being away from home - knowing people were looking askance at them whether they attended parties or not, knowing how strained and awkward Mama felt when they did attend, knowing she would probably have a headache later because of it. On the other side of the planet, they wouldn't have to be themselves....

...Except, of course, that Dorian had mentioned going to see family. There really was no escaping it, was there. At least not for people like them.

"My mother used to like the theater," he said before he thought. "We haven't been in a long time, though. And you're in Canada - I guess the French Canadian theater is different from what we have here. Good shows on these days, I hope?" he asked, to distract from his slip-up.

16 Nathaniel They aren't much fun, are they? 1412 Nathaniel 0 5

Dorian

July 27, 2019 11:44 PM

No, they're not by Dorian

“Yes,” Dorian agreed, finding himself relaxing as Nathaniel reacted positively, evidence indeed that one should not judge a person by his family, “I enjoy very much my time there.” He wasn’t going to get deeper into it than that - into the whole confusion of identity politics, of not knowing where he really belonged, of feeling accepted and appreciated for his talents and observations and temperament by his Chinese relatives whilst feeling ridiculed at home by Matthieu and his friends. But he could give Nathaniel that much. “And it makes Mama so happy to be there,” he added, a bright and genuine smile crossing his face as he thought of the way she lit up - she was not unhappy, he thought, in Canada. But it was a little like watching a swan when it was on the land - it was still beautiful, still graceful. It managed. And it wasn’t that it was no longer itself. But when you saw it slip into the water, it was suddenly moving with ease again.

“I think it’s maybe not so different. Maybe some different shows but… You get the ballet, the musical shows. There are very serious and improving plays to also see but for Émilie’s birthday it is always just the fun, lighthearted thing. We have also have a theatre for English shows, so they can put on performers from other parts of Canada or elsewhere.” He hesitated. He had noticed Nathaniel’s use of the past tense, and wondered what it meant. Perhaps his mother merely thought the theatre was trash these days. That was his first impression. However, there could have been any number of other reasons, and he realised that he had very little idea about Nathaniel’s home life. For all he knew, Nathaniel’s mother could be dead. He hadn’t thought about that as a real thing that happened to people his age, but it had happened to Professor Brooding. He wasn’t sure whether Nathaniel bringing it up meant it was something he was meant to talk about. Again, he faced the dilemma of what was the most polite thing to do - to reach out, or to allow some space.

“You said… past tense,” he observed, “Is that something you want to talk about?” he asked. He thought that maybe they were meant to dance delicately around that point instead, but he wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was, and wanted to make sure he did it. So, he figured, the best way was just to ask.

13 Dorian No, they're not 1401 Dorian 0 5

Nathaniel

July 28, 2019 12:17 AM

I could do without closet skeletons, too. by Nathaniel

"Do I - oh!" Color flooded into Nathaniel's face as he realized the impression he must have inadvertently given. "Oh, it's - not that. She's just...not been in good health, the past few years," he explained, picking his words carefully. "We don't go out much - we do sometimes, of course, but it makes her tired, and she'd rather just be at home with me and my brother."

Truthfully, he thought Mama had seemed a little better this summer, on the whole. She had not seemed to spend as much time on the lounger in her boudoir - at least not, he thought sourly, unless Jeremy upset her - as she had at times. However, he didn't think there was any point in discussing that. It wasn't, after all, as though she could ever have a full social life again even if she got really better, better than he had ever known her to be in his life, as she had had migraines and spells of sleeping badly even before his father had left - in her odd in-between state, as neither a wife nor a widow, she didn't fit in anywhere anymore.

"Anyway," he said. "I didn't mean to keep you. Congratulations, again," he said, with a slightly awkward but sincere smile.

16 Nathaniel I could do without closet skeletons, too. 1412 Nathaniel 0 5

Dorian

July 28, 2019 3:27 AM

I could do without being one by Dorian

“I was not guessing as to a particular thing,” Dorian assured Nathaniel, when he seemed embarrassed, sure that he had given Dorian the wrong impression, “I was unsure, and so it seemed safer not to make any guess.” Maybe there had been a nuance to the way he asked his question which had led Nathaniel to assume that he was assuming one particular outcome. He didn’t really wish to ask this kind of help of Nathaniel though, and so tried to mentally note down his exact words so he could check with someone he trusted later, if he felt like it. He might just let it go. Perhaps it was Nathaniel’s own paranoia at making some kind of social misstep. Perhaps it simply wasn’t worth the effort, given that the situation was unlikely to arise again.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied, as Nathaniel explained that his mother was ill. That was bad enough to hear, and he was glad he had not made the assumption that she merely no longer cared for the chosen repertoire of their local theatre. “I hope she will be well again soon,” he ventured, somewhat cautious with this remark both because it was rather personal but also because there was a possibility that becoming well again was impossible. Still, one could hope it for someone, and he thought that remark wasn’t inappropriate, regardless.

“Oh. Um. You didn’t. I mean, it was nice to talk,” Dorian fumbled, when Nathaniel clearly and abruptly drew the conversation to a close. He couldn’t help but feel that he had messed up, and that felt like a shame because Nathaniel seemed actually like a decent enough person. Not that Dorian really felt that getting attached to any members of society was a particularly good use of his time, but he still felt reluctant to let this door go screeching back to slammed shut. They were neighbours, after all. “Well… some other time - I mean, if you ever want to join myself and Vlad to study. Seeing as you don’t-” he gestured at Nathaniel’s door. “Thanks,” he nodded in acknowledgement of the renewed congratulations. “See you.”

13 Dorian I could do without being one 1401 Dorian 0 5

Nathaniel

July 28, 2019 9:23 PM

A skeleton or a closet? by Nathaniel

Nathaniel smiled when Dorian expressed hope that Mama would be well soon. It would probably never happen - how could it, when at every turn there was something to remind her how people thought, the constant stress of never knowing what Jeremy would say or what anyone would say whenever she went out of the safety of their house - but it was kind of Dorian to say so and he hoped for the same thing. "Thank you," he said. "It's been difficult the past few years, I'm hoping things are getting a little better, anyway..."

He was saying too much. Talking about his home life was dangerous. He didn't even talk about it to Sylvia very much - he didn't wish to seem as though he was merely repeating the same thing over and over again, since the same things over and over again were what bothered him. He didn't know why he had said anything about his mother. He shouldn't have, and yet, he didn't feel particularly worried about the fact he had. Maybe it was just that Dorian was an outsider to his family's circles, so he was less likely to pose a threat, but he somehow didn't think he had made nearly as serious a misstep as logic said he had.

"Really?" said Nathaniel automatically when Dorian suggested a group study session sometime. "I mean, yes, that would be nice," he said. "I can help refresh you guys on third and fourth year spells, anyway, before your CATS," he said, hoping to seem like someone who could make a legitimately useful contribution to such a collaboration, rather than just someone they took pity on. He hated being pitied.

"You, too. Good night."

16 Nathaniel A skeleton or a closet? 1412 Nathaniel 0 5