Addison Thornton
March 02, 2012 7:58 PM
Help! (Tag- Reggie) by Addison Thornton
Addi knew that she needed help. She’d decided that asking Arista, Amira or Andri was out of the question because then their parents were sure to know. It would also go to show that she’d be once more, spending tons of time with her sisters. The second oldest Thornton knew that was a large part of her problem to start off with so she wasn’t willing to use that as her solution.She looked around her dorm room, none of the other girls were in there so she had time to think for herself. The red-headed third year played with the whisps of her curly hair as she sat on her soft bed, thinking. I want to change. No, I NEED to change. she thought to herself. “I’m just so tired of being all weepy! I don’t have to be like that. I DON’T.” she said, getting louder till her last two words were loud and clear. She knew that if anyone was walking by their slightly open door they’d have heard her, maybe that’s what she’d hoped would happen.
Addison Thornton hated herself for how she’d been acting the first few years at school. It showed in what others thought of her and she’d seen it first hand when she was upset over Aislynn at their girls slumber party. Sure, she had reasons to be upset, but she couldn’t change anything so why show how upset she’d been? There are things that could be changed, and things that couldn’t. She needed to focus on what COULD be changed and she knew it. Addi scanned the room, noting all the beds in the room and all her roommates things scattered around the room as well as her own. That was when she realized she truly didn’t know ANY of them.
Not really, anyway.
“I have to change that. And I have to change it now.” she said, biting her bottom lip and pulling a bit of dead skin from her left thumb with her right and pointer finger at the same time. Both things were nervous reactions she’d held near and dear for years and were also things she didn’t know she did, nor wouldn’t know till someone pointed it out.
The squeaky sound of the door getting pushed open made her turn her head fast towards it to see who it was.
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Addison Thornton
Help! (Tag- Reggie)
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Regina Parker
March 04, 2012 10:08 PM
Is helping? by Regina Parker
Reggie had a lot on her mind what with the end of the year coming up and the Chili Cook Off looming around the corner. She and Derry had been working hard at it, but she wasn’t sure if it was exactly right just yet. They were still figuring out the spices and without the internet to help guide her, Reggie had no idea what spices worked best together. Her Grandmother had refused to help her with any of that. She had said that if they really wanted this to be their work, they had to do it on their own. Even with the slight anxiety that came from figuring it out, she was having a good time. Derry was a pretty good partner and put her at ease when she felt like she had hit a road block with ideas. She was glad she had convinced him to partner with her in this project and hoped that it was helping him not think about his parents divorce.But, she had other things on her mind too. For one, the dreams that she had been having lately. They were all about a woman and her father. She had no idea who the woman was, but her father’s behavior had been similar to when she had been home. Distracted. The dreams were often and they were making Reggie a little bit nervous. She wanted to talk to Maddie about them to see what she thought, but she hadn’t had time to talk to her best friend alone, so instead the dreams just hung in the back of her mind taunting her. Well, that was a lie, they didn’t taunt her. Often times, she forgot about them completely. But every so often something would trigger the memory of the dreams and Reggie would find herself dwelling on them once again.
Having found herself a break for the moment, Reggie had headed back to the room. She wanted to drop off her things before she wandered off to do fun things. Opening the door, Reggie found Addison sitting in the room by herself. “Oh…” Reggie said, more to herself, when she realized she was there and stopped in her tracks for a moment. “Hey Addi, I didn’t realize you were in here.” Reggie started moving again and went to her bed. She dumped her bag on the floor near her trunk and then turned back to Addison. Reggie didn’t mind the girl, really, but she seemed rather absentee with the rest of them. “Things going okay?”
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Regina Parker
Is helping?
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Addi
March 04, 2012 11:46 PM
Hopes you can! by Addi
When the squeak of the door wrestled her from her thoughts, she turned fast to see who it was. When she saw it was Reggie she eased up, but then tensed again directly. She knew since they were alone in the room that this would be the best time to ask her roommate for help without the others around.It wasn't like Addi had anything against Maddie, Jess or Hope, but she knew that it was Reggie who would be able to help her. Matter of fact, she liked her roommates, though she didn’t really know them as well as she wanted to. But now things are going to change. she thought to herself as she heard Reggie’s “Oh… before her roommate stopped short.
“H-hey.” Addi said in response to Reggie’s next phrase. “It’s okay.” she added as Reggie went to her bed and dumped her bag on the floor. Addi watched this to see what her hopeful helper was about to do and she absentmindedly picked at her finger again.
“Things going okay?”
“Oh, erm. I guess so.” Addi started, finally pulling the bit of dead skin off her finger, realizing what she’d been doing, she covered it up with a tissue from her little nightstand. Ouch! she screamed inside her head as she forced a smile back towards Reggie, knowing that her finger had to be bleeding from that. I’m going to ignore it, I’m ignoring it. It’s not hurting. That is not what’s important! she thought as she opened her mouth.
“Reggie?” she asked, looking at her roommate. She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts and calm her viciously beating heart. Speaking calmer than she ever had before to her companion, she said, “I know that I haven’t exactly been the best roommate to any of you, but I want to fix it. I want to change. I’m TIRED of being mopey and crying everywhere I go. That’s not who I want to be. It really isn’t. But I don’t think I can do it alone. I need help. Badly. And I think that maybe, you may be the best one to help me. Because-” she paused again, rewording her thoughts in her mind.
“Because I want to be more like you, more like Maddie. I don’t want to be this me anymore. I want a new me. A better me.”
Stopping again, she looked down at her lap before looking back up at Reggie again. At first she didn’t say anything, she was waiting for something, anything from Reggie. A word, a facial expression, whatever. It didn’t matter to Addi right then what it was.
She just needed a friend who could help her to change to be the best Addison Regan Thornton that she could be.
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Addi
Hopes you can!
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Addi
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Reggie
March 06, 2012 9:41 PM
We shall see... by Reggie
Reggie watched Addison in silence. Even though Reggie didn’t know the girl and could only call her an acquaintance, she was still nice to her roommate. Reggie tried to be a good person and keep herself in a positive mood despite the things that may stress her out, but she found that hard to come by around certain people. One of those people being Addi and, lately, Jessica. It was wrong of her to feel this way, she knew it, which is why she would never voice such things. It was unbecoming, but more so, Reggie felt guilty for having ever thought those things to begin with.It was just… Addi and Jess always seemed to be so sad all the time and Reggie couldn’t stand it. There were things in life that could never be changed. Instead of dwelling on the negative, Reggie felt that living in the moment and looking for the positive was a better way of handling it. If she dwelled on every little bit of her life, she’d never have any fun at all. Look at Derry, his parents were going through a divorce and he still managed to laugh and be merry. Reggie couldn’t fathom a life of constant worry or upset.
“Yes.” Reggie answered in a bland voice, unsure as to what the other girl might need from her. Of course, she had not been expecting the words that Addison spoke. Reggie felt her face go slack and she knew she must look like a fool giving off a blank stare, but what else was she supposed to do? The girl just confessed to wanting to be like her and as much as they say that imitation was the highest form of flattery, Reggie felt a little ill at the idea of someone actually doing that.
And, even if she hadn’t meant it literally, Reggie didn’t know how she was expected to help the other Teppenpaw change who she was. “I’m sorry, what?” Reggie finally asked, thinking she had misheard the girl. She had to have, right? Who would ask something like that of another person? “Addi…you can’t just…” Reggie paused and started again, “I don’t know how you think I can help with this. You are who you are for a reason and I am who I am for a reason. You can’t just change yourself because you’re tired or whatever.”
She had no idea if she was making any sense, but Reggy really didn’t think she could change someone just because they didn’t like how they were. “What’s so wrong with you anyhow? Why the sudden need to change?”
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We shall see...
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Addi
March 07, 2012 5:09 PM
Or not... (WoTW) by Addi
Addison watched Reggie as she answered her saying the other girl’s name. Addi went on after her “Yes,” and feeling nervous as she waited for the other girl’s answer. The second oldest Thornton girl really hoped Reggie would at least understand and be able to at least start her on her way to the better Addi. However, the blank look that she got back made her wonder if she’d done the right thing at all in choosing to ask Reggie.Maybe wanting to be like someone else wasn’t the best way to put that, maybe she really hates me now, maybe- Addi thought as she watched the blank stare of her roommate as she heard Reggie speak again, but stop again.
“I mean-” Addi started, but then stopped herself with a long sigh as Reggie spoke again.
“Addi…you can’t just…” Reggie paused and then went on, “I don’t know how you think I can help with this. You are who you are for a reason and I am who I am for a reason. You can’t just change yourself because you’re tired or whatever.”
Addi listened to her and nodded. “I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe I could be a better person if I had help. I’m nothing good to any of you. I don’t even KNOW you guys. I spend all my time with my sisters or worrying about everyone else. They’ve all got friends other than me, but I don’t. And I-” she stopped and shook her head. “Never mind.” she finished and turned to reach for her water bottle on her side table. Her throat felt parched and she felt like she was getting warmer just sitting there. I WILL NOT be uncomfortable in my own room… I won’t she thought as the feeling got worse and worse till it started eating her up. What am I kidding? I am uncomfortable in my own room, my own body, my own life! Who am I, really? she thought to herself as Reggie spoke again.
“What’s so wrong with you anyhow? Why the sudden need to change?”
Addi looked back up at her roommate and wiped her nose with her tissue that was on her thumb from when she’d pulled off that bit of skin. “There’s so much wrong with me. I’m not sure there’s a way to change, but I thought maybe you’d be able to help or something. But its no biggie. I guess you’re right. I am who I am whether I like it or not…”
Addi sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest as best as she could. She’d been gaining weight too (AGAIN), which didn’t help the situation. The thirteen year old hated what she looked like, who she was, the whole gamut and now she thought, and there’s no way to change it… Is there? she asked herself, wondering about her antithesis.
She didn’t even know who she was anymore. What she wanted and what she was were opposites from each other and she had no idea how to fix it, if there was even a way!
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Addi
Or not... (WoTW)
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Reggie
March 10, 2012 2:01 AM
I'm not a self help book by Reggie
Reggie had to repress a sigh. This is exactly the type of attitude that she disliked in a person. Negativity only served in bringing people down. Depression for all those who come in contact with. Such attitudes were stifling in a room full of others and often acted like a virus or infection that spread quickly to all those involved. Reggie didn’t like to have such things seep into her very core anymore than the next person did and she could never quite grasp how a person could constantly live in such a state. Not that she believed that Addison was always in such a state, but the other Teppenpaw was awfully sad most of the time. Or, at least, came off as being sad.Listening to Addison now was making Reggie irritated. The low self-esteem and constant need for verification that she was necessary and worthy and needed, it was all too much. There was a part of Reggie who felt slightly guilty for feeling this way. She remembered their first day here at Sonora and how Addison had been struggling to keep up with the rest of them. Reggie had thought about slowing down to help her, but fear of getting left behind too had kept Reggie going at full speed. Even then, Reggie knew her father would have been disappointed in her for having not helped the girl, but at the time, Reggie was more concerned about staying with the crowd.
“Stop that.” Reggie said with a sharp tone. “Stop that self pity.” She demanded of her roommate. “Addison, I can’t teach you how to be someone else and I certainly can’t change you, but I can tell you what it is that people want to be around and someone who is crying and scared all the time isn’t that.” Reggie was looking at her with all seriousness. There was no biting tone or anger in her words. She was simply telling her that whining isn’t going to win her over with anyone.
“You want friends? Then go make some. People aren’t going to just waltz right up to you after three years of being in school together and suddenly become your friend. We’ve all known you Thornton girls to be attached at the hip. And that’s perfectly fine-“ Reggie added. She didn’t have siblings, but she had an understanding of how important they were to each other. “No one really cares that you are all best friends and what not. It is what it is. But because friendships are all established now, you need to be the one to want it. You’re the one that has to get out there and make the effort.”
She had no idea if what she was saying was getting through to Addison. Having never been a shy person, Reggie wasn’t sure if Addison had the capabilities of doing such things, but she was doing her best to give the girl what she clearly needed.
“Also, the crying doesn’t help. No one likes to be around someone who cries all the time. It makes things awkward and uncomfortable. And no one likes to have someone who clings to them as though their lives depended on it.” Reggie felt like that was all the negative she could think of. “You have to have your own self worth. Your own confidence. You get those and you’ll be right as rain.”
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I'm not a self help book
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Addi
March 21, 2012 1:32 PM
*nods* WOTW by Addi
Addi watched Reggie and she suddenly knew in her heart what was about to happen. She'd started at Sonora alone, even though Arista was there already. And she knew then that she had a very big chance of going through it and leaving it alone too if she kept up what she was doing. Allegedly her attitude was at fault and she knew it. However, Addison Reagan Thornton wasn't sure how to fix it. But it looked like Reggie wouldn't be much help either. Now what? she thought to herself as her breathing pattern changed just a minute bit.“Stop that.”
Reggie's tone was sharp and it made Addi jump and changed the breathing pattern once more.
“Addison, I can’t teach you how to be someone else and I certainly can’t change you, but I can tell you what it is that people want to be around and someone who is crying and scared all the time isn’t that.”
Reggie hadn't said it meanly, but very serious in her intonation. There was no anger in her roommates voice, but to Addison, it felt as if the world was falling down around her. When Reggie kept talking Addi bit her bottom lip and listened. It was obvious that she wanted to change, but she just had no idea how to do it or even if she COULD. Reggie told her that if she wanted to make friends that she needed to go and make some. The red-head nodded and her hair fell over her shoulder. Her right hand took a bit of it in her hand and she twisted it as Reggie kept talking about how she noticed the Thorntons were really close and that that was fine.
"But how?" Addi asked quietly, when Reggie said that she's the one that had to go out and make the effort.
Reggie went on about her crying not helping and told Addi that nobody likes to be around other people who cry all the time or who cling to them as their lives depended on it. Addi nodded and made a mental note about what Reggie said.
“You have to have your own self worth. Your own confidence. You get those and you’ll be right as rain.”
Addi looked at Reggie and actually smiled a small smile towards the girl. "Thanks." she said as she looked into Reggie's eyes. "Do you think I can do it? I really want to…" she finished quietly.
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Addi
*nods* WOTW
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