Staying busy. on Library

Wu Peizhi

June 09, 2016 4:21 AM

Staying busy. by Wu Peizhi

She did not go to the karaoke party.

Wu had antagonized over it ever since receiving Gia’s adorable little invitation. Initially, she had smiled, pleased to feel included, but that was the only moment that looking at the paper brought her any joy. She deliberated the entire time between the time of its arrival and the time of the party, going back and forth a thousand times over whether or not she would attend. She very much wanted to, but she also very much did not.

But in the end, she did not go. The third year hoped no one would be too torn up over it; she didn’t feel like she contributed much to the peer group she had somehow fallen into, too quiet and reserved to say too much. She was just a quiet presence, a fifth wheel. No, she determined, they would be fine without her.

That was a solid few weeks ago now, and it was the beginning of her downturn. Or perhaps even the first day of the year had been the real beginning, when the others had met up before the Opening Feast and she had fallen asleep in her room. Either way, Wu was growing distant. She could feel herself closing off further, retreating back into her shell. But a return to comparable silence was not her intention, really. She knew she needed to speak; she was just supposed to be speaking to different people.

But other people scared her. With the others, she was not scared. Sammy talked enough for the both of them. Gia was kind and welcoming. Jax was the epitome of strength. And Laila…. Laila made her feel safe. But their names weren’t right, not good enough by the standards of Peizhi’s father. Reporting on these families would get her nowhere.

Still, talking to anyone required a lot of strength from her, so if she was going to try to muster up enough energy to talk to the “better” (her opinion, it seemed, vastly differed from her father’s, as she thought the word with more bitterness than she had ever known, her mouth stinging of it) people, she had to limit her interactions with the “lessers” (again, she dissented wholly). But it was hard. So, so hard. The Teppenpaw didn’t know how to progress. She felt trapped and stalemated, and she missed her brother Bohai more than ever, because his presence didn’t exhaust her like everyone else did.

The only excuse Wu could come up with to not be socializing as her father would have wanted was to keep busy, so she threw herself completely into her studies. She spent much time here at the library, all of it conveniently when Gia was not scheduled to be helping the librarian. Tonight was a Thursday, so the coast should have been clear, at least in terms of all she could predict.

The small third year sat at a table in the corner, her back against the wall so that she could see anyone who might be looking at her. Of course, that was if she looked up, but she mostly kept her dark, nervous eyes glued to the textbook before her. Currently, she was re-reading the same chapter in her Potions book. Just trying to seem busy. Reading English could be a bit of effort for her, requiring her full focus, so she did not hear anyone approaching. In fact, she was completely unaware that anyone was near until she felt the table shift as the person, she assumed, sat down beside her. Slowly, she looked up at the person, terrified of whom she might find.

12 Wu Peizhi Staying busy. 316 Wu Peizhi 1 5

Kira Spaulding

June 15, 2016 3:59 AM

Staying clumsy. by Kira Spaulding

Kira needed a new book to read. Her parents bought her any she wanted during the summer to take back with her, but now that they were a few weeks into school, she was running out. Whenever she wasn't in class or studying ahead to practice more advanced magic than her age level, she was reading. It wasn't as if the Crotalus had anything else to do, she only had one friend and even though she liked Caelia, she didn't always want to be around Kelsey.

It was earlier than she had ran out of books last year too. At first Kira had thought she simply had fewer overall this time around, but it turned out she'd actually had three more with her.

She knew it was because the dance was weighing heavily on her mind and she felt the need to find something else to think about. Anything else. The idea of dancing and looking stupid in front of everyone or of standing there by herself feeling unliked and unwanted were quite frankly inducing a fair amount anxiety in her. Certainly, Caelia would have a date and Kira wanted her to go and have a good time, she didn't begrudge her that.

Still, she didn't think she'd personally be having one. Nobody was going to ask her. Nobody would ask her even if there weren't more girls around her age than boys.Surely they would pick someone who was, well, better . Not just a better dancer, but prettier, smarter, more lively. Someone less overall awkward.

And it wasn't as if Kira had a very easy time making friends. Quite honestly, she kind of thought her classmates probably forgot about her. She'd spent half her life being compared unfavorably to Kelsey-or at least she assumed that was the case since her cousin was constantly complimented on her accomplishments and touted as the ideal society lady, what a proper pureblood girl was supposed to be while nobody ever said much about the third year at all that she knew of-and the other half being ignored while her father worked, her mother planned functions for charity and both of them lavished attention on Tristan as the Spaulding family heir, as did Father's side of the family. Nobody ever really seemed interested in Kira at Spaulding family functions at all. They'd say polite hellos and then resume conversations with each other while she retreated to the corner to read. She'd have gone to a different room, but she was a bit afraid nobody would remember to tell her when it was time for dinner. Kira didn't necessarily mind spending time alone, but being alone in a crowd was painful. It just reminded her that she wasn't especially wanted. That she didn't fit.

She had no reason to think that her classmates would be any different, that the ball would be any different. That anyone other than her relatives-these all being relatives from her mom's side of the family-or Caelia would think to include her. That was another reason why Kira was sure she wouldn't get a date. Sometimes, she might as well be wearing an invisibility cloak. Of course, she assumed that any attention she got for anything outside of spellcasting would make her wish she was wearing one anyway. The Crotalus often felt torn between hating feeling invisible and fearing being noticed for the wrong reasons. Kira supposed no attention at all was better than negative attention. She didn't want her mediocre at best abilities in non-magical matters to be seen and thus be opened up to criticism and mocking. Or, of course, unfavorable comparisons to Kelsey.

And these were the reasons that she really wasn't all that comfortable approaching her classmates. They saw her and Kelsey in class at the same time or both with Caelia at the same time and she just knew that exaggerated her shortcomings. Plus, Kira was always painfully aware of how she was doing things and worrying if it was right, if it was how her cousin would do it, which in turn made her come across even more awkward. Besides, she was intimidated by her classmates for the most part who seemed to have an easier time of it socially. They'd never understand her, and that was something she needed, someone she could relate to.

Selecting a book, Kira started towards the desk, but noticed that Chaslyn was helping there. She hesitated. Her cousin often acted sort of coldly towards her and the third year was never sure the exact reason why. Her theory was that Aunt Jillian's harsh standards had warped the sixth year's views on what a person should and shouldn't be, mainly that they should excel in everything and not be mediocre. Kira was primarily mediocre-and that she felt was being generous towards herself-so therefore, Chaslyn most likely had nothing but contempt for her.

She slunk off to find a corner to hide out in and read until it was time for the library to close or at the very least until either Ms. Nicchi or the other library monitor returned. The Crotalus approached a table, but then noticed Peizhi Wu was sitting there. She was one of the few people who didn't really intimidate Kira. The fact that she had a bunch of friends and was part of a group did though, which made Peizhi slightly more intimidating herself. However, they weren't here. Still, the other girl most likely didn't want to be disturbed,especially not by her.

Kira turned to walk away but unfortunately, as she did, caught her heel just wrong and started to trip. Over her own two feet. She went toppling to the floor, hitting the chair next to her classmate. As Peizhi looked up,Kira's face flushed a bright red. "I-I'm sorry to disturb you." This was one of those times that she genuinely did wish for invisibility. She'd made a fool of herself. In front of Adam Brockert's sister-in-law. Kira sat in a crumpled heap on a the floor, her knee hurting where it had struck the ground, feeling mortified beyond belief. Sue wanted to cry but knew that would make matters worse.This would never ever happen to Kelsey.

11 Kira Spaulding Staying clumsy. 320 Kira Spaulding 0 5

Wu Peizhi

June 16, 2016 2:21 AM

I think I prefer my plan. by Wu Peizhi

Kira Spaulding, Crotalus third year. Pureblood.

She was the kind of girl Wu was supposed to befriend, the ones who were of considerable blood and standing in their respective communities. The Spauldings were within her family’s sphere of influence now, since they seemed to be tied to the Brockerts, the family into which Serenity had recently married. That meant that technically, Wu’s father did not require her to befriend Kira. His primary purpose was a gentle form of espionage, a subtle inquiry into the statuses and positions of his new probable associates. So Kira wasn’t a target (she hated to use that word in this context, feeling it too harsh and malicious sounding, but she couldn’t come up with anything more akin to the situation), but she was perhaps a start.

The thought reignited Wu’s guilt over Laila and the others, the group that were supposed to be her friends; she had never worked up the courage to consider them under that label, too afraid to really open up, although she was genuinely pretty close before she got frightened and pulled back. The Teppenpaw didn’t want to hurt them, but it felt so inevitable thanks to the hand she had been dealt. Her father would never accept them. He wanted more. (Wu was not sure how there could ever be anyone “more” than these people who had accepted her and cared for her, but it was not her personal standards to which she was held.)

In her current situation, she was surprised to look up and find Kira on the floor, blinking to confirm the sight. “Oh, uh, you are forgiven,” she replied awkwardly. The normal and kind response would probably have been don’t worry about it or are you okay?, but admittedly, Wu had still yet to master all the nuances of the English language. She was still quite literal and somewhat limited. Listening to the others--Sammy in particular--babble at length had actually helped increase her vocabulary and comprehension, but with her social withdrawal came a sort of linguistic withdrawal as well. She didn’t use it as much anymore, so she lost some. It was unfortunate.

“Do you, um….” Peizhi faltered, searching for the words or phrase that would best befit this instance. “Assistance?” She shot out, unable to form the inquiry into an actual sentence. She always felt so stupid when her English failed, although the logical part of her brain knew the feeling of stupidity was actually fairly unwarranted. After all, how good was anyone else’s Chinese? “Are you injured?’ She managed a moment later, placing a bookmark in her reading and sitting it down on the table.

12 Wu Peizhi I think I prefer my plan. 316 Wu Peizhi 0 5

Kira

July 12, 2016 2:13 PM

I didn't really plan this. by Kira

Kira's cheeks burned. This was so humiliating. She more than half expected Peizhi to start laughing at her. After all, she had to have looked absolutely ridiculous. Not at all graceful and probably in a state of disarray. Plus, it was less than graceful and young ladies were supposed to be graceful all the time. How she'd ever won Lady in the yearbook was beyond her.

Besides, not only was she certain that the other third year was comparing her to Kelsey, thinking how much better the very slightly older girl was, the Spaulding family had a lot of pride, even though she herself didn't. She couldn't afford to since she was so...inferior in most ways. To be seen in a crumpled heap was...not really acceptable. Great-Grandfather said that nobody should ever have reason to laugh at a Spaulding. That was why her brother didn't play Quidditch even though he loved it and why she'd gotten to stop doing any kind of dancing other than the ballroom dancing that was needed for society balls. She'd given Peizhi reason to laugh and that wasn't okay. Besides, even if her family wasn't like that, she didn't want to be the subject of mocking. Who did?

And speaking of balls, there was no way she was going to the one at the end of the year unless she was asked to be someone's date, which was still unlikely. Kira didn't think she was hurt so bad that dancing was impossible-in that respect-but she had just tripped over her feet when all she'd been doing was walking . She'd only embarrass herself and far worse than now, because that would be in front of the whole school.

She felt slightly relieved when Peizhi said she was forgiven. "Th-thank you." Kira replied, looking down at the floor in shame and mentally cursing herself for the shaking in her voice. In addition to feeling humiliated, falling had left her in a bit of a daze.

"Oh, no. I'll be fine." Actually her knee was going to have a nasty bruise but that wasn't really an injury that required her to go to the medic or anything. The Crotalus stood up, peeling herself off the floor. "Um, can you do me a favor? Please don't tell anyone I fell like that. Also, do you mind if I sit down at the table? I think I need to for a bit and would rather not do so on the floor."

11 Kira I didn't really plan this. 320 Kira 0 5

Wu Peizhi

July 17, 2016 1:26 AM

Yeah, that, uh, makes more sense. by Wu Peizhi

Wu relaxed slightly, still a ball of nerves as was her default state but perhaps less heightened from the situation, when Kira said she would be fine. She did not know the other girl very well, but she was glad to see she was not terribly injured. Pain was an unfortunate reality of the strange, cold world they lived in, but the Teppenpaw hated seeing it and would not have wished any form of it on anyone. She simply was not capable of that kind of malice.

Kira asked her not to tell anyone about this, and for a moment, Peizhi only blinked in response. Who exactly did the other girl expect her to tell? She didn’t think anyone could have missed the strange split between Wu and the group she had been spending time with before this year. Aside from here-and-there conversation with her roommate, Abigail, she didn’t really talk to anybody. Like, ever.

Then Kira asked if she could sit down at her table. “Um, yes, go ahead,” she answered awkwardly. “Sit for as long as you need.” The conversation--the situation, really--felt odd and strained, and Wu thought she had taken just about as much conversation as she could, so she nervously reopened her book, sitting the bookmark before her on the table. However, the air was still tense, and she couldn’t focus on the page, so she once more shut the bookmark between its leaves. “Uh, you are…. You are sure you are okay?” she asked weakly and without making eye contact.

12 Wu Peizhi Yeah, that, uh, makes more sense. 316 Wu Peizhi 0 5