Waiting for Brianna... on Library

Michael Grosvenor

December 22, 2012 1:12 PM

Waiting for Brianna... by Michael Grosvenor

Michael sat in the library, peering over the textbook even though he had already got the hang of the spell pretty well. It gave him something to do whilst he waited. Hopefully it wouldn't be for very long but he worried there was a possibility Brianna wouldn't show up. She had said she wanted to do things outside of class but he had the feeling that slightly more social and slightly less academic things might have been what she wanted. Besides which, even though he'd tried to carry on like normal since their conversation on the paths – working with her, exchanging a few words if he saw in passing – he wasn't really sure Brianna liked him any more. If she ever had in the first place. She had told him she didn't think they were friends and he'd felt like things were a bit awkward since that conversation. Still, he was trying.

He had written her a note explaining that he had discovered and been working on a particular spell. It would make it easier for him to communicate with people and so he wanted to help his friends (deliberate word choice) learn it. If she was interested, she could find him in the library at such and such a time. He supposed he could have just told her the spell and left it up to her but it seemed a bit more sociable this way, and offering to help someone learn it seemed less of an imposition than leaving it all up to them, although Michael wasn't convinced he was that good at teaching. Eris had been his first pupil but that had been more a case of muddling through it together. He wasn't sure she actually needed his help – she might even have taught him more than he'd taught her. Brianna was also bright enough to get it without his help. He just sort of hoped it would be nice to do it together.

He twirled his wand through the appropriate motion, trying to think if there was any way of explaining it better than the book did. Probably not. That was why they'd put it that way. He mouthed the word to himself. Well, he was as ready as he'd ever be. He let the book lie in his lap, scanning around the library. All he needed now was a student. Or a friend...

OOC - I consulted with Eris author before writing her into this.

13 Michael Grosvenor Waiting for Brianna... 199 Michael Grosvenor 1 5

Brianna Japos

December 22, 2012 5:38 PM

Did you wait long? by Brianna Japos

Brianna had received the note from Michael and wasn’t sure what to make of it. He had plenty of friends to work on the spell with, he had even told her as much in their last conversation they had had out in the gardens. Everyone he worked with was apparently his friend as well as people in his house. Why did he feel the need to include her now? She felt no more friends with him now than she had back in the gardens. Maybe it was her fault, she couldn’t say for certain. She definitely wasn’t going out of her way to work with him or anything. She did watch his demeanor sometimes when he was working with others. She was trying to discern if there was a noticeable difference between how he reacted to people, but she couldn’t see anything. If he was friendly with everyone, did that mean that everyone was his friend? And, if everyone was his friend, why was he asking her to meet him in the library? And what spell would make communicating with him easier?

She had sat on her bed for a while with the letter in her hand wondering if she should even bother. She had thought that by being alone things would be better for her. It was less complicated that way. Eating with Josh lessened some of the loneliness that crept up from time to time, but feeling lonely wasn’t something new to her. She felt it all the time when she was home. That was why seeing the crup in Care of Magical Creatures had been hard because Brianna really felt that having a pet might help a little bit for her.

The guilt of thinking of Michael sitting in the library waiting on her was what got her up off her bed. She looked in the mirror before leaving to make sure she didn’t look completely gross and then shook her head reminding herself that it didn’t matter anyway. Grabbing her wand, Brianna left her dorm room and headed towards the library.

When she got in, Brianna paused at the door and looked around. She had no idea if it was just going to be Michael or not. If he was alone, it would be awkward, but she could listen to whatever it was he needed to show and then go. If he wasn’t alone… well, Brianna could walk away without him seeing or and she doubted it would matter anyway or she could sit and suffer through him being attached to Eris all over again. No, that was a lie. She wouldn’t be able to do it. Maybe if he had just been upfront to her about it she wouldn’t be so upset, but lying just made it so much worse on her.

Maybe she should have asked if Josh would come with her? No, that wouldn’t have worked either since Michael didn’t seem to like him too much. Oh well, here she was anyway.

She found him at a table and quietly made her way towards him. “Um…I got your note.” She said when she was close to the table.

6 Brianna Japos Did you wait long? 203 Brianna Japos 0 5

Michael Grosvenor

December 23, 2012 8:24 AM

I think the implication is that I did not by Michael Grosvenor

Michael's face broke into a smile as he saw Brianna making her way towards the table. He was relieved that she'd been willing to come and join him. He wondered what that meant. Whether it meant that she didn't dislike him and he'd been imagining things, or whether she was just too polite to ignore him. He wasn't really sure and decided not to let the headache of trying to figure it out spoil his enjoyment that she had come. It indicated that she was not decathecting herself at any rate. Whatever the underlying implications, that was something to be happy about.

“Great,” he smiled, when she said she'd got his note. “I'm glad you came.” He nearly launched straight into why he'd brought her here, partly because he was a bit nervous about trying the whole teachery thing, and just sort of wanted to get it out of the way but also because he was really quite excited about his project. It wasn't going to solve all his problems – there were limitations to any piece of magic, and to any form of compensation for disability, and this was no exception. But he could visualise using it in particular situations and that helping a whole world to open up for him. It wasn't the magic solution to everything, because such a thing did not exist, but it was worth getting excited about. However, he curbed his enthusiasm, remembering both his manners and one of the criticisms Brianna had made of him when they had talked before.

“How's it going?” he asked her. He wasn't really sure he expected to get a real reply. People very rarely replied genuinely to that question and he always got the impression Brianna didn't like to talk about the things that bothered her, which was why he had never pushed her. But it was still polite to ask.

13 Michael Grosvenor I think the implication is that I did not 199 Michael Grosvenor 0 5

Brianna

December 23, 2012 12:06 PM

I did take awhile to decide. by Brianna

Brianna was still hesitant about everything. She thought for sure that he would be at a table full of other people, but it was currently only him. She half wondered if he had told everyone to come later and meet up after she was already there so that she was stuck with him and all his supposed friends without any means of escaping. Was that something he would do? Brianna knew that the people back home would certainly do something like that but was Michael equally as awful as that? Brianna thought that he could be. Even if he wasn’t aware of it. Maybe just thought it would be easier that way and was ‘helping’ her out more so than harming her. Brianna didn’t know what to think or feel about Michael any more. He had hurt her both at the party and again in the gardens. She wasn’t even sure why she was here now with him. She supposed she just liked to put herself in situations where she was bound to get hurt. If she hadn’t of come though, she definitely would have felt guilty, but what would it have mattered? Maybe he would have just moved on or not cared at all. It was too much for her to think about. She was already exhausted from this meeting and it hadn’t even started yet.

Brianna did not return his smile. At least, not fully. She turned the corner of her lips upward in what seemed to be a smile, but otherwise, did not really feel it. She was weary of him. Even simply taking the seat across from him made her heart jump a little bit in anxiety. Her face felt warm and her body jittery. She wanted to run away. She didn’t want to face him or be near him at all. Although she hadn’t gone out of her way to talk to him or work with him in classes, he seemed to have thought everything was fine. Nothing had changed for him at all. It had only made Brianna feel worse about herself. Whether she was in his life or not hadn’t mattered at all. He was unaffected by it. If he thought they were friends, wouldn’t it have done something? She hadn’t even really been sure that they had been friends at all and since their chat in the gardens, Brianna had felt even worse. How was it that it hurt her and did nothing for him when he was the one who thought they were friends to start with?

“It’s alright.” She responded. She didn’t feel like saying anything more than that. The last time she had told him anything of how she was feeling, he denied her feelings outright and made her feel like she was stupid. She would never tell another person how she felt ever again. “Just studying for the exams.” That was true. She was already taking pre-tests for the CATS just to see how she would score on them. “What, um….why are we here?” She didn’t want small talk, she just wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to show her and then go.

0 Brianna I did take awhile to decide. 0 Brianna 0 5

Michael

December 24, 2012 11:03 AM

Oh. Well, I waited about that long, I guess by Michael

“Yeah. It's pretty crazy thinking we'll be doing our CATS next year,” Michael nodded when Brianna mentioned studying for their current end of year exams. Seeing the fifth years all freaking out and imagining himself in that situation next year was pretty horrific. He did his best to push it to the back of his mind. It was a whole year away and Michael tried to repress worry over things that were happening right now.

“I... I found a spell,” Michael began, when she asked why they were there. He suddenly felt shy awkward. He knew how to explain the spell because it said it all clearly in the book. But their teachers didn't just stand their and read at them. He could think of lots of things to say but, as usual, had trouble working out the best order in which to say them. Plus he wasn't one of life's natural chatterboxes, and the thought of saying everything there was to be said seemed like he'd be going on a bit much. “I... It gives people subtitles. Like, it writes out what they're saying,” he added. Purebloods didn't have TV so he wasn't sure they'd have any occasions where things got subtitled. “I... I thought it would be useful. Cos it would mean... like at meals and stuff, I could talk to people more. So I wanted my friends to learn it. I mean, I want to help them learn it. Even though you don't really need my help cos you're smarter than I am but it seemed rude to just send you the spell and be like 'hey, learn this please.' Plus I thought it would be sort of nice to hang out while you were learning it. If you want to,” he added. “I mean, I know we've got loads of other stuff to learn at the moment, so it's ok if you don't want to.” Brianna had already mentioned that she was busy with studying so he didn't want to add to her work load.

He guessed that was the natural place to stop. There wasn't much point getting into how the spell worked and how to do it if Brianna wasn't interested or had too many other things to do. He really hoped she would want to though. Their conversation on the paths had been difficult and confusing and there was a lot of it that he was still either trying to process or had just filed away as being above his head – not that he didn't care or didn't want to understand but he just couldn't, he wasn't good at things like that. But the one thing he had picked up was that, to count as a friend, he had to be more sociable. He wasn't one hundred percent convinced that Brianna wanted him to make that effort, rather than just leaving her alone but at least doing this might give him a shot at trying it.

13 Michael Oh. Well, I waited about that long, I guess 199 Michael 0 5

Brianna

December 24, 2012 9:59 PM

Ok. Sorry I asked. by Brianna

“I suppose so.” Brianna commented, although not really sure what he was talking about. She had been preparing herself for the CATS exams since the year prior when they had first begun taking lessons with the fifth years. Brianna had assumed that everyone took more time for studying once they became Intermediate, but maybe she had given them more credit. Of course, Brianna spent much of her summer reading all of her pre-used text books for her following term just so that she knew what she was getting into and because she was bored. Brianna wasn’t necessarily smart at everything (she was awful at Potions), but she did her best and her grades seemed to show for it. Maybe she was too worrisome for her future and it made her strange for working ahead, but it was important to Brianna to get out and get away. Far, far, away. The only way she could do that was if she managed a scholarship to a college. “I’ve already taken practice exams. I need to keep my grades up if I want to continue with my education.” She explained, not really seeing this as something to find embarrassment over.

She listened to him when he started explaining why he had sent her a note. He didn’t seem all that confident in the spell though because he seemed to hesitate when he started to talk. She was surprised to find out that there was a spell that would allow for him to read their words while they spoke. If that were the case, shouldn’t that have been provided to him from the start? That might have been a help to him in class. She didn’t ask though, believing that might be a little rude.

He mentioned his friends and Brianna briefly panicked thinking that her thoughts had been right. He had asked her there early so that she was stuck when the rush of them came to join them. She glanced around the library for a moment, believing that she was going to see a group of people making their way to them, but she found nothing of the sort. A few casual walk-on-bys, but not anyone in particular was heading in their direction. She was confused by this fact. He said he wanted to teach his friends, so where were they? Was he just testing it on her? Or was this just a play on her and such a spell didn’t actually work? Were his friends hiding to make fun of her for being so gullible?

“Where is everyone else?” Brianna asked him bluntly. “Shouldn’t your friends be here then?” She didn’t get him at all. She told him, clear as day, that he had hurt her and that she didn’t consider him a friend. Even with that, he acted the same. He even apparently wanted to meet her one on one, but hidden away in the library. Sure there was a chance of people seeing them, but they were in classes together, so it wasn’t unheard of that they could be studying together.

0 Brianna Ok. Sorry I asked. 0 Brianna 0 5

Michael

December 28, 2012 1:44 PM

Is unsure why you're apologising... by Michael

“Wow. How did they go?” Michael asked, impressed and a little afraid that Brianna had started doing CATS preparation tests. He definitely hadn't. He wondered how early they were really supposed to start preparing. He made a mental note to talk to Mellie about it on the grounds that she came from a magical family so maybe knew more than him but also on the grounds that they worked at a similarly disorganised and last-minute pace, so he was fairly sure she would reassure him on the subject. He'd never had Brianna down as particularly study-mad – she wasn't even in Aladren – but he guessed she was.... that word. What was it? The one that had occurred far more frequently on Natalie's school reports than his. Conscious? No, but is was like that... Conscientious. That was it. He could definitely have Brianna down as that, now that he thought about it.

Michael felt a little knot squirm in his insides when Brianna asked where everyone else was. He didn't like dwelling on the fact that he was finding the situation embarrassing and felt he was inept at it but it seemed like he'd have to do just that.

“I... I thought it'd be easier with just one person at a time. Cos then it's a bit more like we're just studying together, even if I do have to do a lot of the talking. But if I got everyone in at once, I'd have to stand up and act all like a teacher and... Well, I'm definitely taking that off the possible career list. I'm really not good at it, or at standing up and addressing a group. The idea of doing that just made me feel really... nervous,” he admitted. He didn't like admitting to not just being a regular, cool and laid back guy, as that was what he strived so hard to come across as. But he trusted Brianna not to laugh at him over that. He always did, when it came to telling her how he felt about things. But apparently that didn't work both ways. She couldn't tell him how she felt cos he got all confused and made things worse. He felt awful about that and really wished he could say something. To sum up how he liked that he could tell her things and felt like it was a safe thing to do, and that he was sorry that he couldn't be the same for her. But he couldn't think of the words to use or how to bring it up without making things awkward.

13 Michael Is unsure why you're apologising... 199 Michael 0 5

Brianna

December 28, 2012 11:20 PM

It's just what I do. by Brianna

Brianna shrugged a little at his response; feeling embarrassed and hoping her face wasn’t as red as she thought it ought to be. Was it strange that she had starting working on the CATS? She didn’t think so, but then, Brianna knew she was odd compared to others. The only person she actively hung around was Josh and he was always studying. Maybe she had just picked up that habit? She also thought it was because she didn’t have anything else to do. When she wasn’t in class or in the hall eating, she was usually in her room studying or reading to pass the time. Every Saturday, she would spend time out in the gardens because she loved the outdoors so much, but since her conversation with Michael, she didn’t tend to spend too much time there anymore. So, with less time outdoors, it just meant that she was spending more time studying and reading. She probably could have gone to the MARS room and done something, but she was not musical, she did not dance, she was not an artist, she did not play sports, and she wasn’t much of a water person, which meant, she didn’t have much use for it.

“They went okay.” She finally said. “They were just the written portions of the exams since I have no way of testing myself on the practical, but I scored pretty well. At least well enough that I will manage passing grades for them if I don’t mark well on the practicals.” She was not bragging when she said this. It was not a show on her brain power or anything like that. Truth was, if Brianna didn’t study so much, she probably wouldn’t have done all that well. She needed the time and practice to get the spells right and she had to memorize so many different charms, spells, hexes, etc. in order to just get any of the theory right. She needed to do well though since the only way out was with a scholarship and scholarship meant having the right grades.

Brianna listened to him when he explained where the rest of them were. Again, she had trouble believing that it wasn’t something more along the lines of him not wanting to be seen with her around his friends, but she knew mentioning it would just lead to another fight and she really just didn’t want that anymore. She didn’t really understand why he would feel nervous if he were addressing his friends, but what did she know? She had no friends to test that theory. “Oh, ok.” She said when he was finished. “Well, if we aren’t waiting on anyone, did you want to get started?”

0 Brianna It's just what I do. 0 Brianna 0 5